-Sore Loser-

An Undyne Character Study by Digitaldreamer

I just barely missed Undyne Appreciation Week and I don't even care. Undyne is one of my favorite characters of all time and this idea has been floating around in my head for months. Thus, adventures in going through what might have been going through Undyne's head after she loses the fight with Frisk but before Papyrus shows up for his cooking lesson. Also musings on her piano hobby, because that's such an interesting detail and so few people talk about it. And stuff exploring her relationships with Asgore and Alphys because there is not nearly enough of Asgore and Undyne family fluff and Alphyne. Yes even though Alphyne is canon, there is never enough content, though even I only include a small mention and will have to amend this later.

I have included a headcanon here about Undyne finding and meeting the Yellow human soul before meeting Frisk. I know I don't have game evidence to support or deny it, it's just my headcanon. If it doesn't match your particular headcanon... well, you were warned, maybe don't complain? It's very easy to ignore anyway.

Can you guess which songs Undyne is playing on the piano? It's preeeetty obvious, haha.

She had never run away before.

Fortunately, Undyne had always been good at running. The instant the heat of Hotland faded, she was off like a shot. Her feet pounded against the cooling stone of Waterfall, the cacophony of her heavy armor and the whistle of her breath joining the percussion. Cliffs, stalactites and stone passed by in a wet blur. The darker rooms passed by before she even noticed them, her movements so quick she barely registered a flicker of blue light from mushrooms and crystals. She stumbled only once, twisting her ankle in the damp grass. Undyne cursed as she slowed, taking in the sight of lit pathways where there should have been shadow.

That thing had been here and they hadn't even had the decency to turn out the lights when they left. They'd just waltzed right on through her territory, through her home, and she'd been powerless to stop them. That was way worse than a twisted ankle.

So she kept running, because that was all she could do.

Undyne squeezed her eyes shut and ran once more. She'd always bragged she could run the entirety of Waterfall blindfolded and now was the time to prove it. It was just another workout, just a push to see if she could get a faster mile. All focus went to the motion of her arms and legs, the push and pull of her muscles. Gills flared as her breath burned in her lungs, set her chest aflame. Her ponytail flared behind her like a comet. She ran and ran and all too quickly she was bursting through her own front door. Her boots clanked as she stumbled into the main room, her own feet seemingly confused.

Breathe in. Breathe out. She paced back and forth for a moment. There was a routine to follow after her shift, and she needed to follow it. Soldiers followed the routine and she was still a soldier.

A few strands of sweat slicked hair clung to her face, obscured her good eye. Undyne ignored them, slammed a cupboard open with such force that her entire house shook. The glass in her hand clinked against her armor as she thrust it under the faucet. She downed three glasses of lukewarm tap water with sloppy enthusiasm, ignoring the way some of it dribbled down her front. Finally she let out a long breath and slammed the glass onto the countertop.

Undyne then turned her attention to her armor. She grit her teeth as she pushed shaking fingers to move, undid clasps and buckles with quick jerks. Off went the armor, cast to the floor in a pile of gleaming metal and sweat. Her arms and legs shivered as if they'd lost a security blanket. She watched her own limbs betray her, felt something catch in her throat.

Follow the routine, soldier.

She dropped into a series of stretches. Legs, abs, arms, shoulders, back. Extra attention went to her dominant arm, which screamed with each movement- apparently she'd pulled something. An easy enough fix with food and a bit of rest, but in this case the insult was worse than the injury. It should have been the fight of her life, and all Undyne had to show for it was wounded pride and a pulled shoulder.

Sharp teeth ground together against the thought as she stomped into her tiny bathroom. She very nearly tore the shower nozzle off in her haste to turn it on, jerking the mechanism as far toward 'hot' as it would go. The act of shucking sweat soaked clothes was a mindless one. Without something physical to really focus on, her brain wouldn't take the damn hint to shut up.

Undyne had fought two humans in total. The first had come shortly after she'd become Captain of the Royal battle had cost the newly promoted Undyne her eye, though it was the trail of dust in their wake that really got to her. The memory of eyes shadowed beneath a ragged old cowboy hat and a gleaming pistol in an unwavering hand would stay with her forever. "For the others" was the mantra, and the most frustrating part was how easily Undyne had understood with the dust under her boots. There had been only one option. A human could not be allowed to make it all the way to the CORE ever again and from that day forward, Undyne had tried to make sure of it. She'd restructured the whole Royal Guard system, hired a whole team of new sentries and guards to train. She would be the hero she always wanted to be, the Justice that creature demanded with their last breath.

And of course that hadn't mattered at all, because a human got through anyway. Her royal guard had been reduced to a pack of overexcited house pets. Her worst sentry behaved as expected. Papyrus had befriended the human. None of this was surprising, most monsters didn't have a truly violent bone in their body- sometimes they didn't even have bones at all. It was still frustrating. Why did Papyrus even want to be a member of the Royal Guard with this kind of pedigree?

Undyne grimaced as she tugged red hair out of its ponytail, allowing it to cascade down her back and into her face. That kind of thinking had never gotten her anywhere and it wouldn't help now. All she had to do was press forward like always, keep following the routine, and that meant taking a damn shower. She stepped into the wall of steam and scalding water. Hotland was difficult because of the dryness of it, but boiling water? Sign Undyne the fuck up, even if it meant she'd have to drink a gallon of cold water to compensate later. The steaming spray pounded against her scales like an attack, beating against knots in her muscles and scouring off sweat and slime. She inhaled deeply, letting the steam and heat wash over her.

This was fine. She was fine. She was great, because Undyne was always great, could never be anything but great. She was Captain of the Royal Guard, hand chosen by King Asgore himself. She'd been mentored by Gerson, the Hammer of Justice. So maybe she wasn't the best at tactics and she'd placed her forces wrong, that wasn't a surprise! She'd always been better at taking something head on than leaving it to somebody else, to say nothing of things like her puzzle "skills". Sure, she was gonna have to have some words with her troops, she was gonna have to tighten up the ship. If you wanted something done right, you had to do it yourself, and that was fine, because no one was a better yourself than her! That was fine, every blow she received in battle was a lesson, pain was just something to build upon and that would be the case for the Royal Guard. After all, they'd need to be better for the war!

Right. The war. She let out a hiss through clenched teeth as she scrubbed at the dirt clinging to a bruise. If this whole situation was any indication, the Royal Guard was completely unprepared. Maybe her boys up in Hotland would have a better shot, but that was still only a few soldiers against all of humanity. She felt her stomach drop at the idea of sending the dogs out in any sort of actual battle- before she'd been confident, but now she wasn't so sure. If the barrier broke today, and it was still possible that it might, they would lose the coming war for certain. Especially if all of humanity was as good at freaking dodging as that kid was...

Blue fingers clenched into fists of her own hair, Undyne's growl echoing against steam-clouded tile. She'd been expecting the fight of her life, something to match the epic battles she'd seen in Alphys' history videos. Nothing had gone right. She'd trailed the child for hours through the marsh with nothing good to report beyond a few nicks with her spears and a now missing part of the docks. Her heroic speech before the final stand? She'd totally blanked on it. The expected back and forth exchange between hero and villain, trading barbs of wit with their blows? Her opponent had been silent! The memory of the seventh child dancing around her attacks was the worst part, small feet stepping exactly where her spear wasn't like they'd practiced for it. The dusty tutu was the cherry on top of the whole sick joke.

All of that training for nothing. All that strength behind her spear, and what did it matter if the blow never connected? Sure, the clash had been something, the way each attack would shudder its way up her arms when two spears connected, but it wasn't a fair fight if her opponent never actually fought back! All that buildup and in the end, she'd blown it.

"DAMNIT!" She roared, slamming her fist into the shower wall. Tile crumbled under the blow, the dust collagiating into mud under the shower spray. Fingers flexed, her knuckles were bruised but it wasn't the worst collateral damage of her biweekly forced remodeling. At least she hadn't put a hole in the wall again. She'd fix it later.

The shower spray made quick work of the new mess clinging to her scales. In return, she didn't tear the nozzle from the wall when she tugged it off. She toweled off quickly, her aggravation so great she only gave her favorite sushi towel (a gift from Alphys) a cursory moment of admiration. By the time she'd pulled on new jeans and a tank top, her blood was all but boiling.

"Stupid kid," She cursed as she tugged her damp hair back into its customary ponytail, not even bothering to really comb it out.. Thinking of the fight had been a mistake, her adrenaline was back now and it didn't seem to be going away anytime soon. There was an equally angry training dummy outside for just such a purpose, but her muscles disagreed with that idea. Her entire body felt drained from the fight, all the adrenaline did was make her feel jittery and emphasize the shaking in her limbs.

"Damnit, damnit, damnit," Undyne grumbled as she paced through the main room. An expired energy bar and more tap water did nothing to ease the jitters, just made her feel trapped. A walk, maybe? Undyne glanced at the clock- nope, she only had a bit of time before Papyrus' cooking lesson, and he was never late. Her piano sat invitingly in the corner, beckoning her. How dare it, didn't it now now wasn't the time for music? If anything, she should have been making phone calls, giving her so-called royal guard what for, telling them…

The piano invited her once more. Grumbling under her breath, Undyne stomped over. In rebellion to its polite beckoning she sat down rather hard, crossing muscled arms before herself. She didn't feel like playing, and why would she? She'd lost. She'd built up so much and she'd failed, she hadn't been able to land a hit on a child who couldn't even be bothered to fight back. She'd...

Breath drained in a long, hard line from her chest as webbed fingers traced across battered wood. This was the third piano Undyne had owned since getting her own place, the other two had been lost in some unfortunate cooking accidents. Number three was technically an interesting amalgamate of the remains of pianos one and two, a gift from Alphys. Absurd to be on piano number three, but well, Undyne was just kind of hard on everything she owned. Her clothes lasted only a few months before wear and tear went from "sweet punk style" to "Undyne, please that is not socially appropriate", and that wasn't even touching her "remodeling" fund. The danger Undyne posed on her surroundings really suggested she shouldn't be anywhere near something as potentially delicate as a piano. Undyne loved playing enough to find the constant loss worth it, though.

The space beside her on the bench seemed large but not empty, the space tinted by memories of King Asgore in that very spot. Absently, Undyne's fingers hovered shakily over the keys, then lightly tapped four in quick succession. C, D, C, G. Undyne took in a deep breath as she continued to tap out the first song the King had taught her, a light and simple tune that spoke of memories. She would never forget the day he'd taught it to her- this was back when she'd been quite young and was still prone to mischief. Gerson had escorted her scuffed knees and excuses to visit her new mentor and she'd been… indignant, to put it mildly. After all, how was she supposed to learn to fight if she didn't get in as many scuffles as possible to practice her new skills, and besides, the other kids were jerks and deserved it!

She thought for sure she'd be in trouble, but the King had simply smiled and suggested they find a better way for a little soldier to channel her energy. His paw engulfed her small hand as he lead her down the hallway of his home to a room that seemed to be "under renovations", and had quickly dusted off an old piano so she could sit at it. Undyne had grumbled and sniffed, because what did this have to do with fighting? "Dexterity and focus," Asgore had replied simply. "Now watch me, little one."

Undyne had been enraptured instantly by the sound, finned ears perking up as she listened. She watched her King's face take on a sad, wistful smile as he played, watched large fingers deftly glide across keys in a way no one would have expected. Instantly, she'd been determined to do the same, clamouring to slam her tiny hands on the keys and letting out frustrated grumbles when they failed to draw out the same sweet tones.

"Now now, my child, just relax," Asgore had hummed, reaching out to gently stop her pounding. "Music is not about brute force, It is about care and focus, which take time to learn." He'd carefully guided her through the notes, gently running her through the names for each key and what they meant. Undyne was hooked- she couldn't remember all the names, sure, and she didn't quite get what half of the terms meant. But feeling, the sound, the way it vibrated through her, the way the King's face would change when he heard the song… that, she could get behind.

Undyne put the same energy into learning to play the piano that she did her physical training, and within a week or so she had mastered the simple tune. Asgore cried like a baby, which had been weird, but all attempts to get the King to say what was wrong just got a shake of his head. "It is nothing. You... remind me of someone with a similar disposition. I am happy to pass the memory on once again." He'd reached out to pat her head and she'd swelled with pride. Undyne never understood the whole "crying" thing, but she was all about making Asgore proud.

Undyne practiced piano every day after that, though, to be honest, she never got particularly good at it. Even at her best, Undyne was simply not known for being careful. She made up for it in sheer passion and Asgore was too kind to really comment on it. He did give her some waterlogged sheet music, but that quickly became a dusty fixture of her room- those straight lines and squiggly symbols meant nothing to Undyne, she learned best with the sound reverberating in her ears and up her arms. That could only get her so far, but piano was a hobby, unlike the fighting that was quickly becoming her life.

Asgore happily indulged her newfound passion. However, he only knew a few songs aside from the first he'd taught her, and of the few he taught he was rather rusty. "I am sorry," he murmured as thick fingers stumbled over keys again. "To be honest, my wife was always the better musician." His copper eyes would then be lost to memories and his bitter smile. These moments always left the young Undyne feeling stranded and alone on the piano bench, watching her King sink somewhere she could never follow.

Shortly into their training together, Undyne had noticed the differences in that smile. She'd watch the way it didn't meet his eyes, notice the way he'd occasionally wince in pain at her childish laughter as if it physically hurt. His thick shoulders always seemed bent inward, tugged downward by the weight of the mountain above him. Sometimes they would relax a fraction, loosening as he watered his plants, as he spoke warmly with friends and subjects over a cup of tea, as he sat with her on the piano bench or in the dirt after a particularly rough training session. But the mountain was always on her king, an unavoidable, crushing fact.

The keys beneath her fingers became weighted and heavy as the tune changed to a song Undyne had heard Asgore play time and again. It was something regal, something that started slow and powerful that spoke of Mountain Kings. Then abruptly she was pounding on the keys, slamming out something fast and intense. Undyne remembered hearing the song echoing down the hallway in the King's new home, something so impressive it had knocked the breath from her preteen lungs. An epic struggle in every note, the weight of every monster's hopes and dreams, a sound that tossed back and forth as if in battle. Some internal struggle she could not even begin to understand, a slower, quieter bridge that spoke of the loss in her King's smile.

Undyne bit her lip as she missed several notes in quick succession. She'd only heard Asgore's song a few times and felt honored to know it at all. She'd never quite been able to play it in full without messing up a note or two. The notes seemed physical expression of a weight that was her King's alone to carry, and in spite of her best efforts, her fingers could not keep up with it.

A few missed keys at the bridge turned the song into a garbled mess. "I just wanted to help," She grumbled. It wasn't right, her sitting here playing the stupid piano while that little brat marched closer and closer to her King. It was no secret that the deaths of the six fallen humans before weighed on Asgore significantly. If she had just won, she could have saved him some of that pain. After all this time he'd trusted her with so much and Undyne had gone and blown it. It wasn't right.

"NGYAAAAAH!" Fingers slammed into the keys so hard the piano shook from the blow. Undyne's hands moved to their own beat now, s pounding roar that almost spoke more to a trumpet than piano keys. It was the tune that suited her best, a battle theme that spoke of a rolling ship on the waves of an imagined sea. The song was her, the Spear of Justice, loyal soldier marching on with her power and might, sheer unbridled passion that shook the instrument under her hands. She howled as she played, raw anger leaving her in a mess of vowels and snarls.

It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair, it wasn't fair! She wasn't supposed to lose and it wasn't even a real loss! She hadn't been beaten into the dirt, her aches and bruises were self inflicted from over-extension! She hadn't faced a villain, it had been some wimp who couldn't be bothered to fight back and that was the worst insult. All her training and she wasn't even worth fighting? What the hell!? All that she'd learned about humans being the enemy, all the wishes she overheard from echo flowers and yet...

Her fingers moved on their own to a high,clear set of notes. Her song was no longer triumphant, it was something more desperate. It rose and fell with her voice, notes thundering down in a stormy downpour. They'd be trapped underground for who knew how long if the kid made it past Asgore, and if they didn't make it past Asgore he'd know she failed. Of course, Asgore would never think less of her, Undyne doubted he had it in him to really think less of anybody. She wasn't so sure he'd even give the "I'm not mad, just disappointed" face. Her orders, in retrospect, had just been to capture the human and escort them to the castle. Given the choice, her King would rather take the burden himself than make someone else get their hands dirty.

The song slowed to a quiet, soft melody as Undyne chewed at her lip. The song was surprisingly quiet and light, something no one would have expected, the dirge of a people longing for the sun. Her eye burned, something heavy and awful weighed in her throat and wasn't that just stupid? Here she was, the true heroine, fighting back tears over losing. But there was more to it- she'd lost their chance to see the sun, but even now she wasn't so sure it had been the right call. Sure, the child was a human, but they had yet to hurt a single monster. Hell, they'd refused to fight her, which in spite of running like a weenie, took some guts. And then of course there was the fact that she'd seen the human save that little brat from falling off the bridge with her own eye...

She'd always been taught that humans were the enemy of hopes and dreams. Today her opponent had not felt like an enemy. Her opponent had been an innocent, and was Undyne really a hero if she killed someone like that? Asgore may have been collecting human souls, but surely he wouldn't take the soul of a good person. The protection of the innocent was why Undyne had been trained at all- along with the chance to teach her some wicked sweet moves, of course. If she'd actually run the child through her spear today, if she'd watched the light fade away from someone who wouldn't do the same if the roles were the roles reversed…

Undyne's stomach twisted as her fingers finally stopped. She reached up to scrub the tears from her eye. What was she even doing? She would have had to do it, there was no choice, they had to get out there. The whole underground had been counting on her and now everyone would know she was a sham. So many people had believed in her, had looked up to her. Her own royal guard, those kids, Alphys… she'd even told Alphys to save the tape of her inevitable victory so they could watch it together! Had her best friend seen her lose?

Would Alphys have really wanted to see her win against somebody who wouldn't fight back?

"...Nah," Undyne murmured, a small smile coming to her face as she reached out to tap the keys again. Alphys deserved to see a fight for the history books, not that sorry story. If anything, Alphys would probably like the kid's "hug it out" philosophy, it sounded like something from Mew Mew Kissy Cutie. She'd think it was great, inspiring even. Add this to the fact that Papyrus had already befriended the brat and Asgore's many lessons on the concept of protecting the weak and innocent…

Laughter bubbled from her throat. Why was it everyone who mattered to her was a total chump? This was why Undyne had to be the strong one! Sometimes being strong meant losing with grace. So maybe she'd work on that.

A sigh escaped her lips as Undyne began to play again, a few light notes, a bouncy, odd rhythm. She'd heard Alphys humming it to herself while she worked, and when she'd pointed it out, Alphys had stuttered that it was just some dumb tune she'd heard somewhere. "Totally stupid, a-and it sounds really dumb when I sing it!" Undyne had been enraptured. She'd taken to putting the melody together herself, let it take on a passionate, determined march that eventually climbed to the point where Undyne was pounding on the keys once again. Her dear friend had teared up when she heard it, pulled off steaming glasses and wiped at her face.

"W-what's this?" She stuttered.

"Well, it's you, Al!" Undyne grinned as she pounded at the keys. "It's your song."

"O-oh...oh…" Alphys hugged herself, swiped at the tears on her face. "You make me sound so beautiful… t-there must be some mistake."

No, definitely not, and Undyne grinned to herself as she slammed on the keys. She was Undyne, she didn't make mistakes. If she said Alphys' song was pretty, then it was. If she said the kid who had lead her all the way to Hotland, then given her water, if that kid was innocent… well, so be it. She called it how she saw it.

But it didn't mean she had to like it.