ULH: Nighttime Pondering

This is for Enisoj and EmberOfTheSea, who requested Kakashi telling Naruto about Minato. This is part of the Uneasy Lies the Head universe, a sort of companion piece to chapter 27, taking place between Kakashi getting out of the hospital and Naruto throwing him the party. Kakashi is still staying with Naruto because his apartment was destroyed and he hasn't got a new one yet.

Kakashi woke up coughing. Ants seemed to crawl through his lungs, itching and scratching. He wheezed for air and reached out blindly towards the low table next to the couch, searching for his inhaler. He found it after a few breathless seconds, and quickly pulled his mask down to use it.

Medicine sprayed into his throat and made its way down to his lungs. Slowly, what had felt like thick liquid turned to oxygen again. He put his mask back on, bending forward to put his head between his knees as he slowly caught his breath. The world was still spinning. The second attack in two days. About what Tsunade had predicted. The attacks would happen less and less, until eventually they'd stop altogether. Heck of a way to heal.

The door to Naruto's bedroom burst open, immediately followed by Naruto himself, clad only in frog-print boxers and a faded old shirt. "Sensei! Are you okay?"

Naruto had wanted him to take the bed, but as the bed was probably worse than the couch and Kakashi would probably have had to be manhandled to take the bed anyway, he had eventually given in and made up the couch for Kakashi. The orange monstrosity didn't look much better covered in a sheet, blankets and pillows, but it made for reasonable sleeping place.

Kakashi held up a hand. Naruto crossed the room to put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it a little as Kakashi regained his breath. The chakra seal pulsed, bright light just barely filtering through the fabric of Kakashi's shirt and casting his features in an eerie glow.

"It's fine. I'm fine," he said, his voice rough. He slowly raised his upper body, and when he didn't feel faint anymore, leaned back into the couch. For once, it's extreme puffiness felt comforting.

Naruto sat back on his haunches, his shoulders falling in relief. He looked tired, his short hair hanging limply and his eyes shadowed.

Kakashi frowned at him. "You got here quickly. Couldn't sleep?"

Naruto looked faintly guilty. "I was just... Thinking. Kept my head busy, I guess."

"Thinking, huh? That's always dangerous."

"Ha ha." Naruto moved to sit on the table, hands dangling between his knees. "I was just thinking about my mom and dad, I guess." He scratched his cheek.

The seal's glow slowly faded away, leaving them once more in darkness.

Kakashi couldn't see them very well in the dark, but the awkwardness practically radiated off of him. "What about them?" He said carefully.

Naruto shrugged, his shoulders barely more than a dark line in the shadows. "Because of Fox. Because of how far he went for his kid. Wasn't so different from what my parents did, except it was. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm pretty sure mom and dad would've killed for me, but not innocent people, y'know?"

Kakashi sighed. "Yeah… That wasn't really their way."

"I guess I was just thinking about Fox's kid. What he would've thought of all of this. Because despite everything, Danzou was loyal to Konoha, right? And his kid was loyal to Danzou. So I doubt he would've wanted Fox to do this," Naruto said.

Kakashi frowned. Naruto kept his head down as he spoke. He hadn't turned the lights on so Kakashi couldn't see him well, but there was a vulnerability in his voice Kakashi hadn't heard in a while. He'd been crying, Kakashi was pretty sure of it. "What are you saying...?" He said, feeling as though he was treading on thin ice.

Naruto shrugged again. "I don't know. I feel like a brat just for thinking it, but I can't help feeling like... What mom and dad did was great and all, but they didn't both have to die. Not really. They could have sealed Kurama back into mom, or- what an awful thing to say, I'm sorry, I don't really want that-" he cut himself off, choking on a sob.

Kakashi was silent. What was it about nighttime that always allowed people to be more open, to bear their wounds more easily? And what was it about people crying that turned him into an awkward, unsociable mess who didn't know what the hell to do? Comforting wasn't exactly his cup of tea, and that was an understatement in itself. Still, he understood people. He understood Naruto.

"Are you angry at them?" He asked.

Naruto seemed a little surprised at his admission himself, but typically for him, he didn't back out of this brand-new challenge."Yes. No. I don't know. Not at them. But at the same time, I am. I mean, I'm angry at Madara, but mostly I'm angry that I never got to know them-" his face contorted in pain, and like the brave young man that he was, he didn't try to hide it. Naruto had never seen the point in hiding his feelings, and Kakashi, who was the opposite, could only admire him for it.

He reached out carefully, following Naruto's example by putting a hand on the young man's shoulder. He patted it awkwardly, and then immediately cursed himself for it, because of course he had to screw up even a simple gesture like that."Yeah. I get that."

Naruto stood up suddenly. "I need some light. Do you mind if I turn the light on?"

Kakashi let out a deep breath. It's not like he would've gotten any more sleep anyhow. He shrugged. "Be my guest."

A few quick steps across the room later, they were suddenly bathed in the orange glow of the ceiling light. It flickered every now and then.

"Boy, do you need a new apartment," Kakashi said lightly.

"You're one to talk," Naruto retorted. As Kakashi had suspected, his eyes were red. He sat back down again. "I know it's stupid. They've been gone for as long as I've been alive."

"It's not stupid," Kakashi said. He hesitated, but then decided to take a leaf from Naruto's book. Be brave, now. "I miss them too."

Naruto gave him a startled look. Then, surprise made way for understanding. "My dad was your teacher, right? I guess you knew him pretty well." He said it lightly, but there was a note of longing in his voice that made Kakashi's chest ache.

"I guess so. Did I never tell you...? I guess I didn't, huh?" Kakashi sighed, wishing he could beat his younger self across the head. Few questions had burned as brightly in his mind when he'd been a boy as the one that said, 'what was my mom like?'. He had never known her and although Kakashi couldn't exactly boast of knowing his father very well either, having known him only as a child with hero worship, not knowing either of your parents at all must be even worse,

Naruto looked at him with clear blue eyes, unaccusing and curious. "Did you know my mom as well?"

"I guess. Not as well as your dad, though. I met him when I was five years old. Your parents were already together back then, even though they were just teenagers, but I guess your dad thought bringing his five-year-old student around to his girlfriend all the time wouldn't be winning him any points," Kakashi said, smiling faintly at the memory of a flustered Minato trying to explain to Kushina how a pint-sized brat had broken into her ramen stash.

"Five is insanely young to be a genin, sensei," Naruto said dryly. "I just hope you know you're ridiculous."

It wasn't exactly the first time Kakashi had been told something along those lines, so he just shrugged. "Your dad was, what, ten or eleven years older than me? So he was younger than you when he got me as a student. I don't really know what the Sandaime was thinking, to be honest, but I guess I was willing to listen to your dad because of his reputation. "

Naruto grinned cheekily. "You didn't listen to any of the small fry, huh? Somehow, I'm not surprised,"

"You try respecting an Academy teacher when you realize you already know more than him at age 5, particularly the calculus bits," Kakashi said, still puzzled about the whole thing.

Naruto squinted, that narrow-eyed, thin-lipped look he got when he felt guilty about something. Kakashi wasn't exactly surprised by the notion of Naruto struggling with calculus, though.

"But your dad didn't make mistakes, and he was obviously a good shinobi, even at that age." he continued, ignoring the opportunity. "He was just starting to make a name for himself. He was unprecedented, you know. Or practically, anyway. A no-name kid from a no-name family who took the world by storm," he said. He could still feel pride at that, pride that his teacher, his friend, had been that brilliant.

Naruto smiled along with him. "That's what everyone says. When I met him, though, he was also kind of... What's the word...? Dorky...?" He said carefully, pulling a face.

Kakashi grinned. The ache in his chest that always accompanied thinking of Minato was still there, but felt less like a burn and more like warmth. "Oh, definitely. He had no idea of what to do with me, at first. He was so easily flustered. A single comment from me and he could be blushing for the rest of the afternoon. I'll admit, I didn't always make it easy on him..." Kakashi said, running a hand through his hair.

Naruto laughed softly. "Were you such a mischievous child? It's really hard to picture you as a child, 'cause I've only known you as an old- err, experienced shinobi."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Good safe," he said dryly. He decided to make himself more comfortable by folding his legs underneath him. "But yeah, pretty much. Worse, I was a brat. No fun at all, let me tell you. Pretending he was kidnapping me right in front of a bunch of middle-aged ladies, kicking his shins all the time..." He'd meant to sound funny, but memories of what that unpleasantness had brought him, had brought his friends, tinted his voice with bitterness.

Naruto didn't seem to notice, though. He just laughed. "So what did dad do?" He asked eagerly.

Kakashi snorted. "He got your mom involved. She was more of a disciplinarian. Had me shaking in my boots in no time flat. She was something, all right. Very sweet and warm when I needed her to be, but strict and firm when I was being a brat."

Naruto smiled softly. "That's what she was like when I met her, too. I bet that's the kind of mom she would have been."

"She would have been amazing. Don't doubt it, Naruto. Your parents were great people," Kakashi said, feeling his own throat constrict little at the thought. They'd been there after his father's death, amidst the questioning police force and gossiping villagers. They alone had seen a young boy who had just lost his father, a boy still covered in blood. They'd taken him away from the crowds, with Kushina shouting at Uchiha Fugaku to 'give the boy a moment's peace, for God's sake'. Kakashi had never thanked her for it, which he now regretted immensely.

He wasn't sure how much of his feelings his face was showing, but obviously Naruto caught some of it. "It's kind of weird, though, isn't it? How you got to know my parents better than I ever did?" He said softly, after a moment.

Kakashi nodded slowly. "Yeah. It is."

Naruto mastered himself. "How did they interact? How did they treat each other?"

Kakashi shook himself out of his bout of guilt. He huffed. "To be honest, being a preteen around a romantic couple is a little bit like being a snail near a pile of salt. The two don't really go well together, but despite the obviously traumatizing quality of what you're seeing, you can't really look away, either, " he said, theatrically making a grab for his heart.

Naruto pulled a face. "That's not what I meant. Ew, sensei. I meant personality-wise. Like, where they sweet, or did they joke around?"

Kakashi snorted at his expression. "Teasing, I guess. Some people thought your mom had your dad whipped, but that wasn't really it. They were equals in every way. They shared a sense of humor, and they were both pretty quick on the uptake. They could hold their own against each other. I don't think I ever caught them arguing, though. They communicated well."

Naruto smiled and nodded to himself. "So they were kind of like the ideal couple, I guess. I'm not really surprised," he said smugly.

" 'Ideal' is a pretty big word, Naruto. I'm sure they had their spats, but I was a kid. They were responsible for me. They didn't let me see their darker sides. Not if they could help it, anyway."

"They kind of raised you, huh?" Naruto looked down at his feet, shuffling them across the carpet.

Kakashi felt uncomfortable. "I think, maybe, they wanted to, but I didn't really let them. I, uhhh, wasn't very open to people interfering in my life, I guess. They wanted to help me, and they did, but I didn't want to really... let them in. I regret that."

Naruto studied him for a moment. "Because of what happened to your dad?"

Kakashi gave him a startled look. How much did Naruto know about that? How much had Fox shown them?

Naruto caught his eye and smiled faintly. "I don't really understand what happened, sensei, but I get that what happened hurt you. A lot."

Kakashi slowly relaxed again. He thought maybe Sasuke would have- well, it seemed he hadn't. He realized he was probably supposed to say something, but he had no idea what, so instead he just gave Naruto and awkward shrug. Of course it had hurt. There was hardly a point in saying it out loud. Anyway, there were far more interesting things to talk about, he was sure of that.

"I remember this one time... Your dad was still developing Rasengan, so I must have been eight or nine. I had already figured out how flustered he would sometimes get around your mom. I also knew I wanted him to teach me Rasengan, even in its incomplete form, but I figured he would never offer and he would not say yes if I asked," Kakashi began instead, trying to put thoughts of his father out of his mind.

Judging from Naruto's expression, he was not very impressed by the obvious change in subject, but interest in his parents won out. "So what did you do?"

Kakashi snorted in amusement. "So, normally when you develop a new technique, you have someone else look over your shoulder. It's for safety reasons, but they can also help you with things you overlooked. Your dad hadn't picked anyone because it was such a special technique. Now, at age 9, I was pretty convinced that I was the perfect person to do this."

At this, Naruto snickered.

Kakashi continued. "Anyway, I told your mother that your father had a surprise for her, and that she should come to the training grounds nicely dressed, whatever that meant. I didn't really understand why, but your father seemed to get particularly flustered whenever he saw your mother in a-actually, you probably don't want to know about that. Either way, she distracted him sometimes, and I had a point to make."

Naruto gave him a suspicious look, but let it pass. "So did she do it?"

"Oh, yeah. She thought he had something romantic planned. In reality he was covered in grime and mud and trying not to let his rasengan fall apart. He was still figuring out the spherical shape, and when you lose control over that thing, it tends to-"

"Blow you off your feet," Naruto snickered.

"Yup. Anyway, I wait for Kushina to show up, and keep him distracted when she arrives. She went up to him to ask him what this was all about, he turned around, and... Well, in the end, it blew them both off their feet, which wasn't really in my plan either, and I certainly hadn't planned on being chased around by your mother for a few minutes after she figured out it had been my plan all along. She, uhh, got mud all over her new dress."

"How on earth did she know you did it on purpose?" Naruto said, grinning widely.

"Oh, I was still a nine-year-old. Nine-year-olds are transparent as hell. I made the mistake of suggesting myself as his 'jutsu supervisor' immediately after it went wrong. I suppose they knew how my mind worked by then," Kakashi added, sighing dramatically. "But I got what I wanted in the end. Your dad humored me and said I could be assistant supervisor, which was almost as good to my mind. Not that I actually did anything useful, but I felt important. That's enough for a kid. I had to be patient, though. I picked up some of the technique's basics as I watched him, but he didn't fully teach me until I turned ten. Or maybe I was eleven? It's all a blur, to be honest."

"Did he make you use water balloons? And baseballs after that?" Naruto said, grimacing at the memory. "That was so hard."

Kakashi nodded. "To make it worse, he tried teaching Jiraiya at the same time. So we were flying all over the place together, for a couple of days. That was interesting."

At this point, Naruto started laughing. "That's... That's a beautiful image. Wow. Was Ero-sennin a quick study, at least?"

"He would probably have been quicker if he wasn't trying to show up a ten-year-old at the same time," Kakashi said dryly. "He got overconfident because he wanted to outdo me. He would have managed if he hadn't tried so hard, he had the experience for sure, but instead he just ended up embarrassing himself because he didn't focus. Good times."

"They sound like it. My parents and ero-sennin all together, in one place... I wish I could've seen that," Naruto said forlornly.

Kakashi could sympathize. "I think there might be pictures. In fact... I think I might have some, now that I think about it. Your mother liked to take pictures. Most of them were lost after they died, but I saved a few."

He stood up, before sitting down abruptly. "Except they were in my apartment. Which was destroyed," he said.

Their shoulders drooped. Naruto made a weird whiny sound in his throat. "So they are gone?"

"Probably. I'm sorry."

That was irony for you. The only mementos of three human lives, and the way they had intersected with Kakashi's and Naruto's, now blown to smithereens by a Fox. Again.

"I'm sorry, too. I know they meant a lot to you as well," Naruto said quietly. "But now they're always just out of reach."

Kakashi wasn't sure how to reply to that, so he decided no answer at all would be better. Until something occurred to him. "Maybe Tsunade has a few left . We could ask her, I suppose."

Naruto nodded. He tapped his feet on the ground impatiently. "Hey, sensei? If you want to do something for me... Would you be okay with me asking you about my parents and Ero-sennin every now and then? Because I figure... If we can't have pictures, we can at least have memories. I could tell you stuff as well," Naruto said, looking a little scared.

Kakashi raised his eyebrows. "... Sure. We could do that."

Naruto grinned. "Thanks."

"So... Are you feeling a little better, then?" Kakashi ventured carefully.

Naruto smile dropped away into a more thoughtful look. "I don't know. Kind of. It's just nice knowing I'm not the only one who... Who knows they existed, I guess. I mean, who they were as people, not their titles or anything."

Kakashi nodded slowly. "Yeah. Me too."

In the end, Naruto picked up a deck of cards and they played games throughout the night, quietly reminiscing. Tsunade would probably have Kakashi's head for it, if she knew, but that didn't seem to matter. There was just the night, that strange openness the night so often invited, and the soft shuffle of their cards.

Author's note:

there you go, the first prompt! I hope you liked it. If anyone has other ideas for prompts in this universe, please let me know and I will see what I can do.