"This is just not fair!" the half-human Doctor moaned loudly.

"Oh, Doctor, I know how hard this all must be for you. Losing your TARDIS. Having an entire life crammed into your head without actually livin' any of it. Away from everything you've ever known. Moving into a different universe. Trust me, dear. I know this must be terrible for you, and Pete and me will do anything you need to help with the transition." Jackie rubbed his back sympathetically, remembering how hard her own transition was, though she had her Rose and her Pete back.

"Oh, don't go feelin' too sorry for him, mum. That's not what he's moanin' about." Rose was smirking, her arms crossed.

"What is it, Doctor?"

"Well, it's just-"

"Go on, dear. I promise not to laugh. If it's got you this upset, we'll try to fix it."

The new Doctor sighed and shared his pain.

"So much of my life is different because of the metacrisis. And I'm not the same man in my head. I mean, I'm still brilliant, still amazing, obviously. And I still have mostly Time Lord tendencies- I can connect to people's minds when necessary, I could dream up things you humans could never even imagine. I know millions of languages unspeakable by the human tongue, and I feel time moving around me. But- there's still that human bit in me."

"Go on- tell her why it's got you so upset." Jackie prompted sympathetically, arm slung around him comfortingly. She continued, "I know this has to be difficult for you, Doctor. But we're 'ere for you. Go on. No judgments on our end."

"Well, I have one heart- the rhythm is wrong, don't know how you people live like this. I sleep a lot. Whole nights, even. I licked the dust off a Brasixide and it made me gag and sputter. And now I age, and I can't control it. I'm stuck in this weird hybrid human body with the attitude of one human Miss Donna Noble and yet, I'm still denied the one thing that would've made it all bearable. Of all the people in all the universe, I get to be made from Donna and yet still- Oh, it's just not fair!" he repeated again, miserably.

"I know, dear, I know-" Jackie's heart broke for the forlorn man, ignoring her sniggering daughter.

"All this trouble- and… I'm still not ginger!"

Jackie blinked, Rose snorted, hands over her chest as she burst into loud, unsympathetic giggles. Jackie nodded once, speechless, then silently walked into the next room. She just needed a minute with this one.

A/N- I found this in my WIP folder. I wrote it years ago, I think it was going to be longer, but I don't remember where I was going with it so here, have some crack.

Title from Chameleon Circuit.