A. N. - Another malec oneshot! Here I am, cutting it close once again (you could use the refresher on what happened last week, right guys?)

The response here on fanfiction has been pretty low compared to the one on AO3... I mean, favorites and follows are always nice, but I'd really love it if you guys could just leave a comment with your opinion so I'd at least get some feedback from here...

Anyways, this is a long one (for my standarts at least lol), hope you enjoy!

Alec sighed happily, stretching out on his side of the bed. He was still pleasantly sore in all the right places from the previous night's activities, and he would probably be able to feel it a bit during the day, but he always looked forward to the little subtle reminders of his time with Magnus. The thought of his boyfriend brought a small smile onto his face, but when he rolled over and reached out for the warlock, his hand found nothing but cold sheets. His eyes popped open almost immediately to come face to face with, as expected, an empty bed. Alec used his arms to prop himself up, looking around the room and verifying that it was equally empty before he croaked out Magnus' name, but no reply came from the rest of the loft either. An uneasy pressure settled in his chest.

Getting up, he pulled on the first pair of his jeans that he could find in Magnus' closet before reaching for a deep red shirt, and making his way out of the bedroom. He found his boyfriend in the living room, sitting at the table; he caught a glimpse of his face through the mirror perched atop of the table – Magnus looked tired. His eyes were already subtly lined with kohl, but he hadn't put any other makeup on, and he was still in his robe. Not that Alec would complain about that part. Magnus in the mornings was a sight to behold, and one he felt immensely privileged he got the chance to see.

"There you are." He called out, making his presence known just before pulling his shirt down – so maybe he liked to show off for his boyfriend every now and then, sue him. It was worth it for the way Magnus' face cleared a bit, the warlock raising his eyebrows slightly before replying "Good morning".

"I'd say the same, but it looks like you haven't slept."

Magnus immediately narrowed his eyes a bit and raised a finger playfully, deflecting his gentle prodding with a humorous "Should I be insulted by that?". Alec couldn't help the soft smile he knew overtook his whole face, because here was a man that was so damn beautiful and yet for all his extravagant and fashionable clothes and make up sometimes seemed to not even be aware of it. He took a small step forward, crossing his arms against his back. "No. I love that face." Magnus' answering smile almost made him back down and just drag him back to bed, but he pushed on with his next words. "But this is like the fourth morning in a row that I've woken up to an empty bed. Is there something bothering you?" Even as he uttered them, however, he could tell this wasn't the time Magnus would open up either. He was starting to wonder if he ever would, no matter how many times he asked.

"Nothing is bothering me." The warlock smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it through the thin fabric of his T-shirt with his thumb. "I've even gotten used to your adorable little snores."

"Hey. I don't snore." He pointed out, but Magnus' adorable impression had him beat on that matter within seconds. The Shadowhunter focused back on his goal instead. "Look. I know you well enough to know something's going on."

Magnus's response did not waver. "Alexander. I'm fine." He pulled him in for a quick peck before he stepped away. "So, what about you? Have you decided what you're going to report to the clave?"

Alec sighed at the yet new redirection in the conversation. "I'm torn. If I don't tell the clave about Luke's attempt on Valentine's life that'd be a violation. If they find out I could be deruned, just…" Even as he said it, he knew there was no way he'd be handing Luke over like that, but still, the possibility had to be considered. Magnus turned back around and palmed his bicep, both his smile and his voice soft as he reassured him. "Whatever you decide, I'll stand by you." His support was heartwarming, and it elicited a smile of his own, but it also highlighted how much he was failing in the retribution of that support. Why couldn't he get Magnus to confide in him, so he too could ease his worries and his problems? He placed a hand on his boyfriend's shoulder, brought a sterner look to his face, and asked again. "Are you sure you're okay?" Magnus nodded quickly. "Positive." He stated, caressing his cheek for a moment before walking towards the kitchen. "Breakfast, darling? I could whip us up some omelets."

Perhaps Magnus just needed some space; he knew the whole ordeal with Valentine hadn't been as easily forgotten as his boyfriend liked to imply, but perhaps he wasn't exactly the best person to talk to about it, considering… considering what he'd done. Magnus hadn't asked him for time, like he was expecting him to, and he was immensely grateful for that, but now he started to wonder if that wouldn't have been for the best. Maybe he should reach out to Catarina – she might have better luck in getting through to Magnus than he did.

He decided to drop the subject for now. He wouldn't pry when Magnus clearly didn't want him to. "Yeah. Yeah, sure, omelets sound great."

"So that's it."

"I… wow, Alec, I don't even know what to say." Catarina's voice sounded shaky over the phone, and it was most definitely not from poor reception. Alec sighed, running a hand through his fringe. "Yeah. I can't believe he didn't say anything to you."

"We haven't talked in a couple of weeks, but that's not very long for us, I… I didn't think anything of it."

Alec bit at his lower lip nervously, staring at his desk at the fire lit across the room. "So will you talk to him? Please?"

"…Alec."

"I truly don't think I'm the best person for it, really. I've tried but he just… he doesn't want to talk to me." He fought to keep the hurt out of his voice, but he could tell Catarina had picked up on it from the tenderness in her voice. "Alec. Magnus loves you. I doubt he wants to talk to anyone, really. He might just need some space."

Alec closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. "So, you think I should… back off a bit?" It was the last thing he wanted to do, but this wasn't about him at all. If it made Magnus feel better, he'd do it in a heartbeat, no matter how much it cost him being away from the warlock.

"It hasn't even been that long, Alec. Give him time, but don't stop trying. Just… let him know you're there, but don't push too hard. I'm sure he'll come around."

"…and if he doesn't?"

"Then I'll come and hit him in that stubborn self-suffering head until he does."

Alec couldn't help but to snicker at that. "Alright, thanks Catarina." He cleared his throat, trying to regain a more professional tone. "So listen, I'm having a bit of a hard time asking Magnus to do it… is there any way you could give us a hand in transferring Valentine to Idris? We'd pay you, of course, and it's just that I really need someone I can trust and you already have the clearance-"

"Alec, Jesus Christ, I'll do it. Just stop with the mouth vomit." Alec breathed out a laugh at that, before whispering a quiet thank you and hanging up the phone, focusing back on his tablet.

A couple of minutes later his sister was at his door, confidence exuding from her black clad figure – Alec knew appointing her head of the mission was the right call from a professional view, but making Isabelle happy was a bonus he could never turn down.

"Valentine's circle rune has been removed and I've assembled my team." She informed him,

"Good. I'll feel a lot better once he's out of the Institute." That was true; while he didn't condone Luke's actions, he couldn't say he felt comfortable with the man that had taken over his boyfriend's body in his institute.

"Have you secured Magnus for the transfer?" Izzy asked, and he stood from his desk, walking up to her and directing them away from his office as he braced himself for the unflood of questions he knew would come out of this conversation. "I think we should consider using a different warlock." He heard his sister's little scoff, and rushed to present an alternative, but he was quickly interrupted. "Catarina Loss lives in-"

"We're talking about portaling the Clave's most wanted into Idris. There's not many warlocks with that clearance and besides I want the best; and that's Magnus."

Alec held back a sigh at his sister's stubbornness; he hated having to discuss this at the Institute, but he would hate to disturb his boyfriend even more. "Look, Magnus isn't exactly in a great place right now. He hasn't been sleeping."

Izzy frowned. "What's wrong?", she asked, and wasn't that just the million-dollar question, Alec thought ironically to himself before replying. "I don't know. He says nothing is wrong, but I can tell he's not alright." They stopped at the top of the stairs to the ops center, where a lot more shadowhunters milled about and the chance to be overheard was much bigger. "You know, some people find it hard to ask for help. If Magnus is hurting, don't let him push you away."

His sister's words stroked a chord in him; if it had been that simple, he'd have succeeded a long time ago. Magnus hadn't needed to ask, Alec was constantly offering his help and being shut down over and over, because if Magnus was pushing him away it was because Alec's presence served as a reminder of his time in Valentine's body, and how his own boyfriend had not believed him. And maybe Alec deserved that. "Thanks for the advice… but I know Magnus. He needs his space." Space from him, probably. "We can use a different warlock."

"Hey. There you are." For once, Alec was glad for Sebastian's presence; their chat about the mole would hopefully divert his sister's attention. Aline's arrival thankfully helped further accomplishing that. She was looking well. Alec had no idea she was Sebastian's cousin – but then again, most of the old shadowhunter families were related somehow. He felt bad for not being able to catch up with his friend and basically using her as a decoy for his sister, but duty came first, and Valentine's transfer didn't mean the rest of New York's demons kept quiet, so he left her with Izzy and Sebastian; she knew them both, and they could show her around well enough without him. Aline was in good hands.

By the time night had fallen over the city, Alec was getting restless. Despite his previous resolve to give Magnus some space, the shadowhunter couldn't help popping home before the transfer to check up on him.

He found his boyfriend with a mostly empty martini glass in hand, a vacant look in his eyes. He only acknowledged Alec when he called out to him, despite him being right in front of the warlock, and even then he seemed surprised and even a little flustered to find him there.

"Well, hello." He smiled as he got up, but it was tight and forced and just plain wrong on Magnus' face, quickly hidden once he turned to the drinking cart. "I was just about to make myself a drink. Want one?"

Alec flung his jacket onto the couch, and exhaled deeply, trying to remain calm at yet another one of Magnus' defense mechanisms. Against him.

"No. We're transporting Valentine to Idris."

"Even more reason. We can toast to Valentine's highly anticipated departure." Magnus announced in a chirpy tone, before turning his attention once again to the drinks. Alec stared at him for a moment, thinking back on Catarina's advice and trying to think of the best way to put into words that he would be there if Magnus finally decided to open up – that he would show him the same unconditional support his boyfriend had always given him, because he needed Magnus to know it went both ways, he needed him to know how much he cared.

"I love you. And I know something's wrong. Whatever it is, I'm here for you." Now Alec knew that he didn't exactly have the way with words Magnus did, but he thought short and simple and true fit the situation nicely enough.

Magnus turned around. "I appreciate it", he began, and Alec's heart dropped once he realized he was being shut down again. "But I'm fine." He turned his back to him once more the minute the words were out of his mouth, and Alec just couldn't take it anymore. Maybe his sister was right. Maybe Magnus would never ask for help. Maybe it was precisely his job to pry and insist and get to the bottom of what the hell was making Magnus so… un-Magnus.

"No, you're not. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to leave until you talk to me." Alec crossed his arms against his chest, worried he'd gone too far, but then he thought back on his sisters words and realized he'd already heard something eerily similar before. "Do you remember when you said 'When things get crazy, don't push me away'?"

There was a soft sound of clinking glass as Magnus closed the decanter and set it back down on the tray, and Alec took a deep breath. He knew, the moment he was able to see Magnus' face, that this was it. The walls were coming down, and now all Alec had to do was slip in and make sure Magnus would be glad he'd let him.

"When I was tortured in valentine's body… that agony rune. It made me relive my worst memory. And now… I can't get it out of my head."

Alec felt his lips part involuntarily; he knew it had to do with it, but he still wasn't prepared to hear that whatever suffering Magnus had been in these last few days could've been avoided had Alec believed him. Had Alec saved him sooner. But Magnus carried on, and his heart shattered at the sadness and anger and frustration there, all laced through his boyfriend's voice, his every muscle, his beautiful face.

"Every time I close my eyes, it…" Magnus trailed off, dropping himself on one of the armchairs and fidgeting with his hands. Alec kneeled before him, unsure whether to touch him or not, unsure of what to say because Magnus was over 300 years old. If one single memory stood out for the worst, then it must be a really bad one. He couldn't, wouldn't offer up a few general empty lines of comfort to this man, not when this was clearly affecting him so badly. He had to ask; and maybe Magnus had to say it, too. "Hey… what is it?"

"Remember I told you how I found my mother dead by her own hand?" Of course, Alec thought, but to his surprise Magnus kept talking. "My stepfather found me shortly after. He screamed at me. He called me an abomination."

Alec stopped breathing. "What?" How could anyone ever think-

"He was right." Alec shifted uncomfortably. He felt the irrational urge to punch this man in the face for what he said. Magnus should never have to think of himself like that, let along as small as he'd been back then. The warlock kept talking, and Alec thought it best not to interrupt; not when he'd just gotten him to speak to him about this. "He blamed me for her suicide. He said that she hated herself for giving birth to a monster." Tears were now pooling in his eyes; Alec felt sick to his stomach, but he knew the story wasn't over yet. "So I lashed out. With all the magic I had. I burned him, Alexander. Right where he stood. I murdered my stepfather."

Alec was already shaking his head before Magnus had even finished. "You were just a boy. You weren't in control of your powers."

"Yes. Actually, I was." Alec faltered for a second, and Magnus ducked his head, averting his eyes. "I never wanted you to see this terrible, ugly side of me. Of my past."

Alec was at a loss for words; Magnus was not a monster, no matter what he'd done that night. He was a wonderful, brilliant, good man, but how could he tell him that when he seemed to be stuck on this one idea, on this one moment?

"Hey." He called out, and when Magnus lifted his face to him he cupped the back of his head with his hand, making sure to look him in the eye so he could see the honesty in his words. "There is nothing ugly about you." When the warlock didn't reply, he pulled him in for a hug.

He didn't know how long they stayed like that, holding each other, until Magnus shifted slightly, sniffing just the tiniest bit. "I'm sorry, I-"

"Magnus, don't you dare apologize." Alec cut him off, tightening his hold on the older man. "Never apologize for being honest with me. Please. I want you to be able to tell me anything." He felt Magnus' intake of breath and ran a hand down his back comfortingly. "None of this changes the way I see you. I love you, Magnus Bane. I love every version of you there ever has been at any moment in time, and I will continue to love every single one that comes to pass."

His words were meant with absolute silence before he felt Magnus nuzzle against his neck, the arms around his back pulling him closer, almost toppling out of his seat. Alec eventually maneuvered them both onto the armchair – it was small for two men their size, but the shadowhunter made quick work of reversing their positions so that he could sit and place Magnus on his lap, arms still safely encasing him in all the warmth and love he could give. He placed a kiss to either of his cheeks, then his forehead, and finally his lips, before pulling back just enough to whisper. "You are beautiful. And I will remind you of that every time that memory decides to prey at that pretty brain of yours." He looked at Magnus' eyes, noting he'd dropped the glamour, and caressed his cheek. "But you have to let me. Okay?"

The warlock nodded shakily, arms around Alec's neck, one hand curling into the ends of his hair. "Okay. I love you."

"And I love you."

A couple more minutes passed in silence, Magnus playing with Alec's collar and Alec watching the man in his lap before he noticed the warlock's sudden frown. "What is it?" he queried, thumbing one of the furrowed eyebrows lightly. Magnus shifted in his arms so he could look at him, tilting his head in question. "Who's helping you with the transfer?"

"Oh. I actually… called Catarina over to do it." The statement was met with raised eyebrows, and the expression on his boyfriend's face was most definitely not humorous, but it was so much more Magnus than he'd seen in the last couple of days that Alec couldn't help but to smile. "So you think she's better than me?"

"No, I…"

"Oh my god, you do." When he didn't deny it, the indignant declarations rose exponentially, and with them the Shadowhunter's amusement. "Betrayed. By my own man. This is a disgrace. And now you're laughing, what the hell, Alexander." Magnus looked purely aghast now, but Alec was overjoyed that he seemed to be back to his normal bickering self.

"No, I, uh…" He held in a snort and held his hands up against Magnus' glare. "If you must know, I didn't ask you because I wasn't sure you'd want to be that close to Valentine. Izzy really fought me on it." He smiled then, flicked Magnus' nose playfully. "She kept going on about how she wanted the absolute best, and apparently that would be you."

The smile he got in response was heartwarming. Magnus got up and snapped his fingers, jacket on and make up retouched in a matter of seconds before he turned back to him, raising an eyebrow. "Well you can call Catarina to cancel then. I would hate to disappoint the lovely Ms. Lightwood with her unnecessary, unfashionable blueish appearance when she's expecting this." He gestured to himself, and Alec noted that he did indeed look good. He may not be into fashion, but he could appreciate what that jacked did for Magnus' arms, who he rolled his eyes playfully when Alec didn't move, holding out a hand. "Come on, you lazy Nephilim. We've got work to do."

Alec looked him over for a minute before nodding with a smile. "Yeah, alright."

"Valentine Morgenstern. By order of the Clave you are here by remanded to the guard in Idris."

At Isabelle's nod, Magnus opened up a shimmering portal next to him within seconds, his gaze focused on the despicable criminal in the room.

"I may be in a cell, but at least I'll be in Alicante." Valentine sneered, returning the look. "Where the air doesn't reek of downworlders."

Alec's blood ran cold. "Get him out of here." He uttered, then watched them all go through, gritting his teeth to keep from saying anything else to the circle leader, before Magnus closed the portal. He tugged at his hand when he was done, pulled him in for an embrace, resting their foreheads together and making do on his promise right there. "You're beautiful." He leaned down and nosed at the warlock's neck, smiling playfully up at him. "And you smell wonderful, by the way."

Magnus' laugh echoed through the Institute, and the pressure on Alec's chest eased for good.