The quiet ticking of a clock seemed to be amplified in the stone-cold silence of the room. Castiel sat upon that old, worn but still comfortable couch, running his nails against the palm of his hands gently, his eyes staring down at the red marks that were beginning to form. His hand had been numb for at least thirty minutes now, but still, he could not stop. A quiet shuffling of papers could be heard from the arm chair across from the couch, as though someone was changing their sitting position; the someone staring at him with a kind look in her eyes, not saying anything. She hadn't said anything, not since the first time they met.

"So, Casandra, how was your day?"

Castiel couldn't even bring himself to say everything he wanted to, and so sat there in silence, for the entire hour-long session.

What are you even doing here, wasting your money like this Castiel? Just fucking say something.

Castiel thought to himself, but he knew he'd never say anything. At least, not in this session. It was the third session, the third time Castiel was paying some random lady $1250 an hour, just to sit in silence, to sit and silently hate himself for being so awkward, for not being able to open about anything.

The ticking of the clock was deafening.

"Casandra, I'm afraid that your time is up."

The woman said, startling Castiel; he had almost forgotten she was there. Castiel let out a quiet sigh and stood to his feet, running his hand against his slacks to free them of the wrinkles that had accumulated. He stuck his hand out for a formal shake and smiled shyly when his therapist stood to her feet and took his hand. They gave a quick two pumps before Castiel let go, trying to inconspicuously wipe the nervous sweat from the palms of his hand.

"I'll see you again next week?"

She asks, offering Castiel a kind smile. Castiel tries to return it, but ends up giving a quick twitch of the corner of his lip. "Yes Missouri, I'll be here."

x.x.x

Castiel shuts the door to his bedroom, pressing his back to the wood as he tries to calm his racing heart; ever since he left his therapist's office, Castiel had been trying and failing to fight off a panic attack, only managing to keep it at bay until he was in the comforts of his own home. His chest heaved with pants, making it only tighter and harder to breathe, and Castiel ripped off his shirt as fast as he could, flinging it to the corner of the room before struggling with getting his binder over his shoulders. After a moment of intense struggle, Castiel could get the binder off and it too joined the shirt in the vast clutter that was his room; he kept meaning to clean it, but any time he tried, he ended up stopping and giving up entirely, as though there was making it physically impossible to do the simplest tasks.

Well, there was something making it difficult.

Castiel turned around to face himself in the mirror braced on the back of his door, his eyes searching the planes of his face that he supposed were supposed to look familiar; and yet, it looked as though a stranger was staring back at him. His blue eyes stared back at him, and he recognized those, but everything else seemed like it belonged to a different person.

Plump, pink lips, long, black eyelashes, thin eyebrows, a round complexion, a small, button nose… Not to mention the two plump muscles that hung from his chest, practically glowing in the light of his room. Castiel stood to his full height and searched himself, pulling off his slacks and his boxers before looking at himself in all his… glory. He pinched and prodded at the excess muscle and fat from his chest and couldn't even bring himself to look at the area between his legs. His legs, smooth and milky white, his waist, small and petite, his shoulders, rounded and slim.

It was the body of a woman.

A stranger.

Castiel fell to his knees, crying.

Hey everyone!

So here is the long awaited chapter story that will be a collaboration with the beautiful Perdition Raiser! I'm so excited for this, and I hope you guys are too! Odd chapters will be my chapters, and even will be hers.

Did you enjoy the first chapter? Be sure to review and let me know your thoughts! Don't forget to follow this story as well so you can notifications on when we update! Until next time!

Much love and stuff,

-ImmaSlytherout