"The Next Step"

Sakura leaned against the door of Akinari's office, waiting for him to finish up the call he had to take. She had decided after her patient left, she would pay a visit to the man like she promised.

After the events at Tomoyo's party, she knew she had a lot of explaining to do. He had not seemed upset with her anymore about the restroom incident, but something just felt…off between them since it happened. It was Tuesday, the day she would be going on her date with Syaoran. She wanted to talk to Akinari about a few things before talking with Syaoran to figure out how their relationship would work for the future. She was certain that they would have a future together, but she just had not figured out how it would be right now.

"Alright…yes, ma'am," at the sarcastic response, Sakura knew it was someone he knew personally. "I'm looking forward to seeing you tonight." Sakura could see a gleam in his eyes that she had never seen before.

It's her.

Sakura smiled, seeing how happy her best friend seemed talking to this person.

"Okay, I'll talk to you later."

When he hung up the phone, his attention directed to her, the smile slowly fading from his face, but replaced with a neutral one. She wondered if they were in a fight she had no clue about. "Are we in a fight or lovers quarrel again?" she asked teasingly, hoping it would lighten the mood.

It did nothing though.

"Are we? Because as far as I'm concerned, I haven't been in the loop with a lot of things lately," he said coldly, making her regret her choice of words. He was upset.

Her cheeks warmed at the thought of Syaoran. "Aki…back at Tomo's party…that was—"

"You don't have to explain your adventurous, dangerous sex life to me," he said in a condescending tone, making it very evident that he felt some type of way about her being with Syaoran in the restroom that day.

The apparent blush disappeared from her face, hearing the way he had just spoken to her. "What's your deal? I know what me and Syaoran did was stupid and risky—"

"Yet you hold no regrets."

Sakura fell silent at that statement, wondering if she felt any regrets for their little escapade. Even though they both had participated for all the wrong reasons, she could find no regrets.

"Look, just cut to the chase on why you're here," he said as his eyes looked at his computer as if he could not meet her gaze any longer.

"Is there a problem with me having sex with Syaoran now? Because if I'm not mistaken, you were very supportive of my decision to feel anything for him a month or two ago. What's changed?" She folded her arms under her chest, looking at him seriously now.

Akinari had never treated her coldly before, even after their brief dating stage that he always jokingly accused her of using him in. He had always been supportive of her and been there for her through everything. Seeing him treat her like this made her feel like she did not know the man sitting before her right now.

"Nothing."

"Nothing? That's all you have to say about it?" she asked disbelievingly. She walked further in his office, sitting in the chair across from his desk with a huff. "What's going on? Did I do something wrong?"

When no response came, she could feel the back of her eyes burn with tears at her best friend being upset with her for some reason she knew nothing about. She may have been upset with him throughout the years of their friendship, but he had never shown any negative feelings towards her. It hurt.

"If you were upset with me, why did you let me come here to talk to you? I know I can be a burden sometimes because all I do is complain to you about my problems, but if you'd had a problem with me, you should have just told me, and I could sort through my own—"

"And that's exactly the problem, Saks. You don't come to me anymore about anything. Ever since you started your little whatever the fuck you have with Dr. Li, you don't need me anymore. So, why even come now? Because you guys are having issues?" Akinari asked, sounding bitter about it all.

And that's when realization dawned on her that he felt jealous.

"Do you think Syaoran's my new therapist?" she asked dumbfounded.

Silence fell between them, making her wonder if she guessed the wrong thing. She never pegged Akinari as the jealous type, but he should have known that no one could ever replace his spot in her life.

"I just feel…used, Sakura," he said sadly, letting his eyes train on his computer to avoid hers still. "I've been through…a lot with you and I've dealt a lot with you throughout the years, so I thought that…maybe…I wouldn't be that disposable to you for a man with his name and image—and I don't mean that in a way to talk down on him, because I truly believe he is the man who will love you more than anyone now, but it just…kind of hurts to know that I'm that replaceable in your life," he said quietly. "We haven't had a session in months, and that's not even to say that you have to be having a hard time in life to have one, but you would have at least kept me updated before you met him. I'm truly happy for you and want nothing but the best for you because I love you, but I just wish that…I could have gotten a heads-up before you just dipped out on me like this."

Sakura could feel the guilt creep in at the rawness of Akinari's emotions that he rarely ever showed to her. Out of all the years she had known Aki, he had never really been one to show vulnerability. He always kept to himself, and in check. He always seemed self-aware of everything and found ways to figure out his own problems. But this had been the first time she had ever seen him show this side.

"You're right," Sakura said softly, wanting to validate everything he said and how he felt. "I have fallen off the deep end with…us lately, or since…he came into the picture, but please understand that it's not intentional—"

"He's very possessive," he stated bluntly, making her cheeks warm at the thought of Syaoran's behavior. She had already known this, and even acknowledged that it came off as extremely unhealthy sometimes. They were working on that together though. Syaoran had been doing better with that lately.

"I would never let him come between us and he understands that now. He's slowly coming to terms that you aren't going anywhere," she explained, hoping he would see that she had put in an ample amount of effort to let Syaoran know that. "If we get together, I think you should know that—"

"I already know what to expect. Our lunch dates won't be as frequent, no more movie nights at my place or yours alone, and the list goes on. I respect that, and honestly, I wasn't planning on us continuing that anyway for the sake of both of our relationships. But that doesn't mean that I'm giving up our friendship. I still want you to come to me when something goes wrong, or you need a shoulder to cry on if that bastard ever pisses you off or hurts you. I still want to be here for you because you mean a lot to me and I don't think I could let you get hurt again and sit around and do nothing about it," he explained, looking at her now with a sad look in his eyes. She could see how much seeing her hurt over the years damaged him.

"I know, and I'm sorry for making you think otherwise," she apologized sadly.

"Don't be sorry, just…I want you to be careful, ya know? That's the most important thing here if we are both being completely honest," he said. "Like, that little stunt you guys pulled, what if it had been a security guard outside that bathroom? I know Dr. Li may not care what his name looks like in this town anymore, but you do and so do I," he said.

She released a quiet groan, covering her blushing face in embarrassment now. "I know and I said I'm ashamed. I don't know what he does to me…it's like…all logic flies out the window when I'm with him. He makes me feel so vulnerable that I have to try my hardest not to be with him. He makes me feel like this…nympho with no morals," she said.

Her ears registered a chuckle from the man across from her. "Ironic you say that when the man is the opposite of that," he said. "Maybe he's just bringing a side of you out that you didn't know existed."

If she were having this conversation with anyone else, she would have ended it in a heartbeat because of the embarrassment.

"I wasn't like this with Eichii though…"

"Because he didn't bring it out of you."

"And, speaking of him…ever since he's been back, my nightmares have returned…" she said quietly, remembering her wake up in cold sweats every night for the past few weeks.

Akinari looked thoughtful for a moment as he hummed softly. "Do you know why or have the slightest bit of clue why you stopped having them?"

She thought about it for a moment, knowing she could trust him with this now. "Syaoran had started staying over quite a bit, and I…kind of just got used to sleeping next to him, which was a very comforting feeling, so I suppose maybe that could play a factor into it. We haven't really been…together like that often anymore. I can't even really remember the last time we slept together—" Akinari cleared his throat, making her roll her eyes. "I mean…in the same bed…next to each other. It feels kind of rare when that happens now because we always have so much going on."

"What do you guys have going on now?" he asked, frowning at her now.

She looked away sheepishly, realizing she really had been keeping things from him. She always picked and chose what she wanted to tell him, which was okay because she owed him nothing. She wanted him to stay involved in her life though because he was one of the fewer people that she had trusted, including Tomoyo.

"Before we get into that, let's talk about what…we are going to do about me and Syaoran's relationship status first."

Sakura sat at the table in the posh diner that Syaoran had chosen for them to go to this evening. As promised, he had come to her place to pick her up. Tomoyo had come over to do her make-up along with bringing her an outfit to wear for the evening. Thankfully, her best friend had treaded lightly on the makeup and had not dressed her in something that was too fancy. It was a simple, elegant dress that covered enough skin to keep her warm, but showed enough skin to make her look appealing.

Syaoran had almost made them stay at her place to devour her, but she was able to fight him off, threatening they would not go on their date if he would not let up. That had made him straighten up immediately, showing that he cared more about their date than getting some today.

The evening had been pleasant, no arguments, just peaceful conversation about their day and their usual talks. Sakura had not wanted to bring up the heavy topics yet to ruin their date, but she knew they would have to eventually.

"So, Hong Kong, huh…" Syaoran said as if he had just read her mind. He took a rather large sip from his wine, something Sakura noticed immediately. She had promised him a pain-free evening, so she would not entertain that topic.

"Let's talk about that another day," she said, taking a sip from her own drink. When she placed her glass down, she looked at him from across the table through her long lashes. "How's the trial going?"

She could see the disappointment in his eyes, but it seemed like he pushed the feeling to the side and proceeded to tell her about the trial as she asked. It took her a while to get used to the stares they received in public, but she was starting to warm up to the idea of them both being influential people in the town and people seeing them out as a "couple". She was already ready and prepared for the news that would be on TV by tomorrow morning.

Syaoran had not seemed bothered by it, so she vowed that she would not be bothered by it either. If Syaoran felt no shame in dating her, she should learn not to feel ashamed of him either, despite his past; especially when he was treating her like he treated no other woman. That thought somehow warmed her to the core, knowing that she meant something to him.

Thinking about that made her cheeks warm as she thought back to his confession at Tomoyo's pregnancy reveal party. She still had not warmed up to the idea yet, but she felt a bit relieved that he had not brought it up anymore. But a smaller portion of her conscious made her feel like he might not have meant it if he had not brought it up anymore even though it had only been two days since he said it. He still treated her the same and acted as if it never came out of his mouth that he was in love with her.

"What about you? You never explained to me what specifics you were going to be researching," he said, snapping her out of her thoughts.

"Umm…" she started, realizing she could not focus on what he wanted her to answer because of her thoughts of his confession. No one else had ever been in love with her aside from Eichii, and quite frankly, she thought that no one else would feel that way about her after the damage that her ex-lover had caused. He had made her feel the lowest about herself and it had taken her years to build her confidence back up, but she still had felt like no one would love her again like that. There was no way he could be in love with her.

"Are you okay? You're thinking too hard about something," Syaoran said, a frown playing at his face. "Are you regretting this? I know we've been getting stares and comments since we've been out, but I figured it wasn't too bad."

She shook her head vigorously, realizing she may have been giving him the impression that she had been regretting this date. "Of course not. I feel more than happy to be here with you," she said sincerely, feeling her face heat up like a furnace.

"What's the problem then?" he asked softly, reaching over to grab her hand on the table. "We can leave here if it's too much for you. I know I would usually rent out the entire restaurant to avoid things like this, but I thought we were ready to go public about our relationship."

She smiled, shaking her head. She had never felt so…cherished the way Syaoran was making her feel right now, or the entire day for that matter. He had been the perfect gentleman all day, showering her in compliments, holding the doors open for her, pulling the chair out for her. How had she even thought that he was selfish a few days ago?

At that thought, she remembered the appointment and her test results, which he had set up for her. She knew she would have to tell him eventually about the rare disease her mother had possibly passed down to her. It had took a lot of begging to convince Dr. Ruby to keep the results from Syaoran. She knew he could tamper his way into her files, but she knew that Syaoran would never betray her trust like that after Dr. Ruby told her that she had to tell him that Sakura asked her not to tell him.

"No, it's okay. I just…I'm glad that I have someone like you in my life to…care for me so much," she decided to settle with when she noticed she had not responded yet.

Syaoran smiled, bringing the back of her hand to his lips to land a gentle kiss on it. "How about this then…how's your father?" he decided to ask as if he noticed she had not felt comfortable with the topic he brought up.

She could feel her mood lighten at that question. "Great! He's out of town right now doing another research project," she said. "He's rarely ever home in Tomoeda. He sometimes make me wonder if he has a home some other place with how much he's never home."

"Do you think he has another family some other place?" Syaoran joked.

For some reason, that joke did not seem so funny to her. "My father would never do such a thing to us," she said thoughtfully.

"Has he been with anyone since your mother?" he asked.

The waiter came with their food at that question, which they thanked him for. Instead of responding to that question, Sakura began eating since she had not had anything that entire day. They were at a French restaurant that had just opened a couple of years ago, but was well-known in Tomoeda.

"Would that bother you?" she heard Syaoran ask in the midst of her taking a bite out of the food on her plate.

"This is so delicious!" she said, purposely ignoring his question.

"Sakura—"

"My father would never hide anything that crucial from us. We're all adults at this point, so I'm sure he would have told us by now if he were dating someone else or…had a family. That would…kind of hurt if he were keeping something like that from us," she explained.

"Well, he might just want to keep it private because it might sting a little. Besides…wouldn't you want your father to grow old with someone to be happy?" Syaoran asked, eyes watching her every move, making her skin tingle at the feeling of them on her.

"Well, of course I want him happy and with someone but…it's just…my dad's like over 50 now and he's always seemed content with being by himself," she said.

"That's quite naïve if you believe that, Sakura. I mean…do you think he's only been getting himself off for all these years?"

Her cheeks burned as her face scrunched in disgust at that thought. "Oh, please, stop. I don't need to think about my father doing that," she said, pretending to gag at the thought of her father pleasuring himself.

Syaoran laughed at her reaction, causing her heart to do back-flips at that pleasant sound she rarely heard.

"So…I can't expect to come in on the first date, huh?" Syaoran joked, fingering her exposed skin on the small of her back, sending a jolt of lust through her entire body. They were standing at Sakura's door after they had taken a walk at the park after going to see a movie she had chosen for them to watch. Unfortunately for Syaoran, she had chosen a romance, which she had enjoyed more than she thought she would have. She had never been a huge fan of romance films, but she was not opposed to the idea of them either.

Watching it with Syaoran made it that much more enjoyable as he cringed throughout the entire movie, making snarky comments at anything he thought was overly-cliché. The comments did not bother her one bit because she knew deep down inside, he had enjoyed the movie too. He had held her throughout the entire movie and stroked her arm or thigh unconsciously as the picture engorged his full attention. She had felt like a teenager going on a date with her crush for the first time. She had not felt that giddy about a date in a long time.

Sakura giggled, shaking her head as she gave him a pointed look. "Is that all you think about?" she asked, unlocking her apartment door.

"And what are you implying that I'm thinking? I just wanted to come in so we could discuss some things I'm sure you wouldn't have wanted to discuss in public, considering our current situation. I know you said our date would be stress-free, but I feel like tonight would be the perfect time to discuss some things to clear the air between us, considering that we were very public today, so…" he trailed.

She could hear the seriousness to his tone and could not help but silently agree with him. That was the main reason she had opened up to Akinari today to discuss everything that had been going on in her life and her relationship with Syaoran. He would be playing an important part in all of this, so she had to explain this to Syaoran in a way that would not cause too much damage to his pride and insecurities. Plus, it was time they settled how they would do this relationship thing. It had been long enough.

She sighed, nodding her head. "You're right," she said, pushing her door open to her apartment. She could hear him following closely behind her, making this so much harder for her to think about how they would bring everything to the table and figure things out. They took their shoes off at the foyer and then made their way to the living room quietly. She wished she could read Syaoran's mind to know what he could possibly be thinking right now since he was so quiet too.

She had these last few days to get herself together after their restroom encounter when she snapped on him like that. She had been such an emotional wreck since she found out that Eichii had been alive and in town again. If she were being completely honest with herself, she just wanted to go someplace where she could scream her lungs out with no one there to judge her. She felt like one good scream would make all of this frustration and anxiety go away. She knew how crazy it sounded to voice that to anyone, including Akinari, who happened to be her best friend and therapist. And then, on top of Eichii being alive and in town, she had her test results to worry about now too. That loud scream she wanted to make would definitely do her some good.

"Sit here. I'm going to go get us something to drink," she instructed, pointing to the couch. She knew they would need something for this conversation. She walked to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses for them to drink out of.

She sat beside him on the couch as she poured them both a full glass of red wine. She was the first to take a sip from it, but before she knew it, she was chugging it down.

"Is this conversation going to be that bad?" Syaoran asked, snapping her out of her own thoughts and feelings.

She looked at him nervously and then to the bottle of wine before pouring herself more to drink. "Where should I even start…" she began, just wanting to get it over with, but not sure how to.

Syaoran's hand dropped on top of hers, stopping her from pouring herself more to drink. "I want us to have this conversation sober so we both consciously make a decision together," he said gently.

His soft-spoken voice caused her heart to skip several beats as her mind drifted back to his confession. She blushed, sitting the bottle down, feeling a bit embarrassed by her behavior and at her thoughts of him confessing to her.

"Let's start with if you enjoyed today," he said, stroking the back of her hand gently that she just now noticed he had not moved his hand from.

"Tonight was…amazing. I haven't felt this way in ages," she said honestly, liking this direction of the conversation.

"I enjoyed today with you too. I don't think you will ever begin to understand how…amazing it feels to finally be able to openly show how I feel about you to the world," he said, making her cheeks warm at the sincerity of his tone.

"I'm glad you enjoyed today as much as I did then," she said, unsure of what to say other than that.

"So…I'm assuming that there will be a date number two?" he asked, a bit of uncertainty in his tone.

"Definitely," she said with no trace of hesitation. She had already come to the conclusion that she was in this for the long run unless Syaoran did not want to stick around.

"If there's date number two, then that means that…you have thought about how we will solve this whole…therapist-patient relationship then," he eased in.

She took a deep breath, nodding her head slowly. She could not be more relieved with the feeling of the alcohol gliding through her bloodstreams finally. She was fully aware of this, but she felt a lot more comfortable and confident to talk about this with the liquid courage. "Aki has to be involved in this. I saw him today to talk with him about everything—"

"What—?"

"Hear me out before you jump to any conclusions, please," she interjected before he could become furious at her decision to do this without his consent. When he did not say anything, she took this as her cue to continue, despite the tight look on his face. "Aki will not be your therapist, just so we are clear, okay? I was just thinking that I could…give him your charts to keep, but not look through them. Just in case anything happens, and someone happens to find them, they won't be in my possession, so they won't know that we are connected. If they were to be discovered, they'd be in Aki's possession, which will make it seem like he is your therapist, even though it's me. Aki is the only person I trust with this kind of information, so…unless you know of someone else, I need you to agree to this so we can work as a couple publicly."

Syaoran was quiet for a moment before he reached for his glass of wine and downed it in one go. He poured more wine in his glass and chugged it down again. She wanted to tell him to stop but knew not to interfere with his coping right now. She would normally chastise people for trying to use a substance to make themselves feel better but right now, they both needed to stay calm to make this conversation work.

"And how do we know he wouldn't go through them? How can we trust him with my files? You don't think he has something for you and might try and destroy my name because he's jealous of us?" he asked calmly, sitting the glass down, making her relieved that he had not planned to drink a full third glass.

"I talked to him today about that—I told you that I came to the hospital to talk to him, remember?" she said. She had thought about it and decided this would be the best way to get Syaoran to feel more secure when it came to Akinari. She would tell him whenever she saw him or whenever her and Akinari would do anything together to let him know that she had nothing to hide from him when it came to her best friend.

The distress look slowly began to disappear on his face as he nodded. "Yes…I…was not aware that you were going to talk to him about this specifically though."

"I didn't want to freak you out is all until I got the okay from him. We can take this further if you would like by bringing legal matters into it where he signs off that he won't ever tamper with the information or look at it. Is there anyone else that you trust more than Aki to do this?" she asked in a small voice.

She watched him stare at the table blankly, looking lost in his own mind. She wanted to know what he was thinking about. He stayed quiet for a good five minutes before releasing a sigh. "They're to be locked away in a safe where he does not even have a key to get them," he finally said. A smile slowly spread across her face at his surprise compliance to her idea. "Only because I trust you and your judgment. I still don't trust him though."

Without thinking, she leaned over and captured his lips in a short, appreciative kiss, but she broke the kiss as soon as it started before it could escalate. "I know. I'm really glad you're taking this big step in trusting me," she said softly.

"What will…that leave us though? Are you still going to…do therapy with me or?" he asked timidly.

She smiled, sensing him still want their sessions to continue, despite the lack of them these days now. It warmed her heart hearing that, considering he wanted nothing to do with it in the beginning. "Yes, we still can. You won't have to pay me anymore since I will be a girlfriend. That way, we won't have to worry about me writing more things down on your charts to cause more risks of getting caught. I will just have to remember things better," she said. Hearing herself say this out loud made her feel like a crook a little, but she pushed that thought to the back of her head, reminding herself that Syaoran would be worth all of this.

"I'll still pay you," he said in a finalizing tone to end the discussion.

She frowned. "No, you will not. If I am going to be your girlfriend who is just being supportive of things that you have going on mentally, I will not be paid for it like an escort offering service to a wealthy man," she said in a disapproving tone.

"Girlfriend, huh?" Syaoran said, making her look at him, only to see a smirk on his face.

Her cheeks warmed and she looked away shyly. She had not meant to say that. "I-I just mean when…or if I become your girlfriend," she said sheepishly.

He still had that smile on his face, staring at her with the happiest look in his eyes. She had never seen him look this happy before, which caused an…oddly satisfying feeling in the pit of her stomach, wanting to do whatever she could to keep him this happy. And when had he gotten so close to her?

"Well, until you become my girlfriend, I will continue to pay you for your services even if it is not your 'official services' but I trust you with everything to do what's best for me regardless. Is that fair?" he said.

The look in his eyes told her he meant everything he had just said, causing that warm fuzzy feeling to erupt in her stomach again. Trying to ignore the feeling and look in his eyes, she looked away shyly. "F-fine…" she stuttered.

"So, now that that is settled, let's talk…Hong Kong," he said the place quietly as if he might be in trouble if caught spoken about the place she knew he looked at as forbidden. "When are you leaving?"

"In April," she said, not providing any more information than necessary. She really did not want to talk about this with him because she knew it would hurt him.

"Three months, huh…"

She looked at him, seeing a blank expression on his face as he stared at the glass of wine. "I guess that gives us plenty of time to grow together, right?" Though the statement sounded optimistic, she could not hear it in his tone.

Without thinking, she grabbed his hand, feeling the liquid courage egg her on. "If you are not okay with me going, it's fine to say that." She squeezed his hand gently. "I'll come back after six months instead of a year if that will make it better."

Syaoran took a deep, shaky breath and then released it and then shook his head, no. "No, you should go. I want you to go for your sake and…for mine. How am I going to move on and live a happy and fulfilling life with you if I can't even go back to my own hometown? Do you hear how pathetic and weak that makes me sound? As much as it's going to hurt like hell, I know it's for the best. I mean, what's six months going to do to us? I'm in this for good, so nothing like you being away for six months is going to…break me," he said the last part brokenly, making her realize how hard he was trying for her right now.

"Syaoran…" she called softly, making him look at her hesitantly. The look in his eyes only intensified her guilt of even thinking about going to that place. She hated herself so much sometimes for caring about people this much. There was no way she could take that offer and go to Hong Kong to further hurt Syaoran. "I won't go."

"W-what?"

She shook her head slowly with a smile on her face. "You were right, there's plenty of other places to go than going there to do a research on addiction. I could go to America—I've always wanted to go there…or maybe Canada, or Australia! Those would be wonderful places to go and do research, don't you think?" she said, hoping she sounded excited about going to all these places. And she really did mean what she had said. She had always wanted to go to these places, so she could not understand why it hurt so much to say she would go to these places instead of Hong Kong. Perhaps she was just being selfish right now…

Yeah, that's what it is. I'm being selfish.

"Sakura," Syaoran called gently, making her look at him with a smile on her face.

"Really, I promise that it's fine. I'll just do some research on studies elsewhere that lines up with the one in Hong Kong," she promised confidently. "I can—"

Strong arms pulled her towards a warm body, interrupting her before she could even finish that statement. At that action, she could feel the back of her eyes burn, causing her to close her eyes, only to realize she had been crying without even noticing it.

"Don't do this to yourself again…please," she heard Syaoran whisper in her hair brokenly, only making more tears stream down her face uncontrollably.

"I…" she tried to come up with something to say, but ended up choking on her own sobs. There was nothing she could say. She did not even know why she felt so emotional about saying she could choose a different place to go. It hurt so much.

"I'm not going to let you put another person in front of you again. You want to go to Hong Kong, so you will go to Hong Kong, no matter how I feel about it. I'm not going to make you do something like that again to yourself. You're better than what you sell yourself to be and you're going to accept that by choosing what you want," she heard him say in her hair.

At that statement, he made her realize exactly why it hurt so much. She was trying to put Syaoran before herself like she promised herself she would not do. She did not know how long she sobbed in his chest before she found her voice to speak between sobs, "I'm sorry... I'm really sorry, but it just...it hurts so much to do that—to turn it down and I really wish I could be so much stronger now, but I can't. It just feels like everything keeps piling up on me at once. Today was just...today was so amazing and now I'm ruining it with this—acting like a crybaby. I just want to catch a break," she sobbed in his chest, holding him tighter now.

This was the third breakdown she was having since Christmas and it was barely even February yet. Her year surely started off great this year.

She felt gentle strokes on her hair, soothing her a bit, but not enough. "I'm sorry, Sakura," he apologized. "You're going to go to Hong Kong because you want to. Fuck everyone else who feels differently about it. I will see to it that you be there by April, even if I have to kidnap you myself and force you down there to take that opportunity."

Hearing the way Syaoran talk to her about all this made her heart feel overwhelmed with so many different emotions that it was hard to tell which emotion from the other, but one emotion stuck out more than any of the other ones; she was in love with this man and there was not a damn thing she could do to keep denying this feeling any longer.

She pulled back from Syaoran, but they kept their arms wrapped around each other loosely as they looked the other in the eyes. At her new discovered emotion, she could not help but close the gap between their lips in a searing, passionate kiss.

"Sakura."

A loud, sharp gasp resonated in the room, causing Sakura to sit up from her lying position on the bed. Feeling the cool air of her apartment hit her skin registered in her head that the loud panting and gasping was coming from her as she realized she was drenched in sweat.

"Are you okay?" she heard the same voice ask that had called her name.

She looked in the direction, only to see Syaoran sitting up in the bed with a look of panic in his eyes. "I..."

"Nightmare?" he asked when he noticed her unable to speak due to her panting.

Her heart was pounding so loud against her chest that she almost felt certain that he might be able to hear it too. All she could do was nod her head at that question as her mind drifted back to the nightmare she had been having for the past few weeks.

Syaoran reached over and turned the night lamp on before moving closer to her, wrapping his arms around her naked body, pulling her towards him in an embrace. She could feel herself trembling in his arms as she wrapped her arms around his naked torso. "I-I'm sorry," she heard her own voice apologize fearfully.

She had forgot to mention to him that she had been having nightmares again since Eichii appeared. Her subconscious told her that she had purposely not told him in fear of how he would react at the mention of the man again. He had taken the information rather well that she had presented to him about Akinari earlier.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. Was it of that...night?" he asked the last part hesitantly, seeming to know the damage behind that question.

Instead of speaking, she just nodded, holding him tighter. She had lost the ability to speak suddenly.

"You've been having those nightmares again?" he asked sadly. "How long has it been?"

"Maybe a little over a month ago," she said hesitantly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

"I...didn't want to worry you—"

"Sakura, you...can't keep shutting me out with things like this. If we are truly planning to be together, you have to let me in on things like this. Is it because of Kobayashi being out?" he asked.

When she heard him say that there was no trace of anger in his tone for a change. It made her feel more comfortable to open up to him. "Yes...since he's been out, they've been horrible again..." she trailed off quietly.

"I'm sorry I haven't been able to be here for you like I would have loved to...but I promise to be here for you as much as I can...if you will let me," he whispered, stroking her shoulder with his fingers.

"W-what do you mean...?" she asked, unsure of what he was really trying to say.

"I just mean...let me be with you every night I can to help you get through this again," he said, making her pull back from his embrace slightly.

"W-what?" she asked disbelievingly.

"Or...you can sleep over at my place…that way, you won't have to go through this alone—"

"What are you saying, Syaoran?" she interrupted.

Sakura was not sure if she had been hearing correctly. It almost sounded like Syaoran was asking her to move in with him.

She could see his cheeks color in the dim-lit room. "I know it's fast, which is why it's not...technically living together. Just...us going to sleep every night together...until the nightmares stop at least," he explained.

"You work though, so it's not like—"

"I won't do the overtime anymore like I normally would so we can do that. I can just come over every night I get off. I will most certainly be off before 2:37 at night to be here for you," he said. "I'm fine with it being my place too, so I can make you a copy of my key," he said

Shock glided down her body at hearing that, mind not believing what she had just heard. "Y-you'd give me a key to your apartment?" she asked, looking at him uncertainly.

The look on his face showed how serious he was about this. "I trust you and I want to do this for you. It is a big step, but I feel like it's one I'm willing to take with you...if you will let me," he said the last part shyly.

"I..." she started, unable to answer him.

She knew he was not asking her to move in with him, but accepting a key to his apartment seemed like too much of a big step for her. But then again, she had just discovered that she was in love with the man after months of everyone in her life telling her she had been.

"I just want to be here for you..." he said, a blush staining his cheek bones still.

"Okay," came her response with no hesitation.

And for some reason, she felt like that was the right decision.

A/N: Surprise! I got an update out faster than I normally do :D. Thank you guys so much for the reviews and support! They're the main reason I put my work on this site :). I will definitely try to get another update out this week since Monday will be my last day working at this job before I have to move next week for grad school, so I will have time all week after Monday to work on my fics, which is very relieving.

Anyway, what did you guys think? Sakura finally realizes she's in love with Syaoran, which took a lot of mental energy out of me trying to make her figure it out since the girl can be dense sometimes. I figured the best way for her to realize how good Syaoran is to her by enforcing her to put herself first would be the best way for her to since that has been one of her biggest desires in this story since she has always put others before herself. I don't know, what do you guys think? Could there have been a better way for her to or was this the right way? :).

As I was writing the scene with Aki and Sakura, I realized I have not really spoken much about Aki and his past, which is very dark(I haven't forgot about his first name being revealed :P), but I don't know if anyone would be interested in finding out about it or not. Not a dedicated chapter to him, but just a brief touch of it in the story. What do you guys think? I will let you guys decide that or if I should keep it out of the story since it's already as long as it is(still sorry about that! It's because I talk so darn much with my wordy descriptions T^T.).

Anyway, I'll let you guys vote on it! I need sleep since I have work early in the morning and it's currently 3am. Hooray for insomia! :)

Ja ne!