That time at the Bronze (early spring 1997)

Cordy is so right. That Bunny girl is so weird. What's her name? Buffy? That's such a stupid name. When we were at the Bronze earlier and I was trying to flirt with that total hottie, she pushed me aside! Like, really hard. Then she dragged him outside. She's like weirdly strong.

Then, oh my god. When I went outside to see find him or Cordy or Aura or someone, she was out there by herself. She turned around really fast and almost hit me with a pointy stick! What's her damage?

I think she might be in a cult. She always wears crosses and is really strange. It's really scary. I don't want to go anywhere near her ever again.

That time she found out I'm a vampire (October 18, 1999)

I have the best boyfriend ever. He'll definitely keep me safe from stupid, scary Buffy. I can't believe she's the Slayer! Well, she's mean enough. I know she's still a total bitch. I mean, seriously, who is that RUDE at a party? She totally wants to kill me because I was more popular in high school.

Oh my god. She kills our kind.

Deep breaths. I'm Spikey's little mentholated pack of smokes. I know he'll protect me.

That time Spike chained her up (February 13, 2001)

Is LA far enough away from the Slayer? And my broken heart? Oh god oh god oh god. I have to get out of Sunnydale now.

I can't believe my Blondie Bear would betray me like that. Not just with Duracella or whatever her name is, but with the skanky Slayer! There was definitely bondage fun going on, and not with me!

She's so skinny and so annoying. Her boobs are tiny! And I know Spikey loves mine. Sure, she's all tan and everything but her hair isn't em that /em great. And oh my god, she's so mean. Mean and scary! He knows she hates me. She's going to stake me, I know it.

I need to leave before she finds me. She looked so angry at Spike. I don't think she knew we were still together. Like I didn't see them staring at each other when I left.

Oh, god, she's going to kill me.

That time I had sex with Spike again (November 20, 2003)

Buffy is really going to kill me now. I didn't mean to! I didn't know I was going to end up totally possessed or whatever. And I've missed Spike so much, and he feels so good inside me…

Hold on, no distractions.

Oh, shit. Spike totally dated the Slayer, and she's totally in love with him. Did he cheat on her? With me? Oh my god.

I'm going to die.

That time she found out Spike's alive (August 2005)

I can't believe what happened earlier today! Little Buffy Summers came bursting into Wolfram & Hart today, demanding to see Spike. Apparently she just found out he's alive.

I had to hide under my desk so she wouldn't stake me. I mean, I wasn't scared, but she was yelling and everything. She even yelled at Angel. I could hear it from the floor and behind a closed door.

When she came out of Angel's office, she looked so mad. I thought she was going to stake me so I tried to apologize for halfway sleeping with Spike again and for enabling his cheating on her. I mean, I am a strong and brave woman who is pursuing her own future. I can confront my fears.

Would you believe what she did? She just rolled her eyes at me and went to find Spikey. I heard later from Jane in accounting that Alex saw them holding hands and kissing and leaving the building.

I bet they're planning something totally nefarious for me. They're going to kill me, and it's just not fair.

Do you think New York is nice this time of year?