17: Fathers

"Read this, Tokiomi. Keep reading until every word is carved into your mind. And then tell me if you're satisfied. Tell me, if it was worth it."

Tokiomi opened his eyes, amazed that he's still alive.

He briefly remembered the moment of Kirei's attack, he must have fainted soon after that. Actual words and faces mixed with imagined ones – for a moment the mage in red was sure that he can hear Sakura whispering something to his ear. Then, in few short moments of regained consciousness, the Einzbern's Master was trying to investigate him about the Grail, local ley lines and much more strangely unimportant topics, at least in such moment.

"Think of your inheritance," Kiritsugu had said back then. "What's left for you to do in this war? What is still worth dying for, now, after you've already lost?"

What, indeed?

If Tokiomi himself had already failed, his responsibility as a magus lied elsewhere. He needed to make sure that his bloodline survives to participate in the next war.

"That's right," said Kiritsugu's voice inside Tohasaka's head. "You wouldn't risk their precious lives by keeping unimportant details to yourself, am I right?"

Wait a minute! Isn't he speaking about Aoi and Rin? Are they his hostages?

Not sure if all of this happened a second or month ago, Tohsaka tried to get up, but his nerves refused to obey. A warm hand landed on his chest, ordering him to lie down and rest instead of trying to be heroic.

Even after opening his eyes at last, Tokiomi couldn't tell what's real and what exists only in the world of his feverish nightmares. He was in a castle? And somehow has been reunited with his family? How? He needed to touch Aoi's hand to make sure she's really sitting next to his bed. Still, he sensed something different in her typical caring behavior.

She was glad that her husband survived, for sure, but something in her usually calm eyes alarmed Tokiomi. Aoi was… angry at him? No, 'furious' would be a better word to describe it.

"Did you know?" Her voice was colder than ever, like she was trying to hide a murderous intent. When Tokiomi narrowed his eyes, not understanding what she's talking about, Aoi explained: "About Zouken Matou and his 'ways of training'?"

For a moment, there was only a heavy silence between them, and two accusing gazes were fighting each other, trying to dominate the opponent. Then Aoi showed Tokiomi an old, damaged diary. Its dark aura left no place for doubts – this item belonged to a powerful mage.

"What's this?"

"Matou Zouken's notes. That old monster described every detail, every… crime he committed on my little Sakura. I'm glad he's already dead."

Tokiomi had no idea how to react, he could only stare blankly at the tattered cover. It was too much strange news to process at once.

"How did you get this?" – he asked, mostly to break the intimidating silence, in which his every breath seemed annoyingly loud.

"The red-haired foreigner gave it to me." Aoi shrugged. "Sakura said he and 'the dragon' saved her. But you didn't answer my question." Her eyes pierced Tokiomi like two silver daggers and the man shivered involuntarily under this gaze. He knew that his wife is strong, enough to marry a magus, but such kind of power and cold resolve was beyond his expectations. "Did you know what they were going to do with Sakura when you gave her to them?"

"I knew the training to become a fine mage is not easy. I knew it would be hard, painful even, but I was also sure that Sakura is able to withstand it."

Aoi observed him in silence, with her hands shaking slightly and terrifying, emotionless face. Tokiomi didn't know what to think about it. He felt helpless, with his circuits in shock after losing a hand, unable to defend himself even against his own wife, if she decides to kill him with a pillow or something...

"I see," she said eventually and slowly stood up. "Then read this, Tokiomi. Keep reading until every word is carved into your mind. And then tell me if you're satisfied. Tell me if it was worth it."

She threw the diary in Tokiomi's face and left the room in a hurry, trying to hide her tears.

Somewhere in the corridor of the Einzbern Castle in Fuyuki outskirts Saber stepped back, utterly frightened.

The red coat, cute pigtails, blue eyes… and the look of an absolute admiration on her face. Rin Tohsaka, although almost as small as Illyasviel, seemed much more scarier than any dragon or wild creature Siegfried has ever encountered.

"You are Saber?" - the little girl asked… no, rather stated, proud of her own smartness. The dumbfounded knight could only nod in tense silence. "Hmph! You don't look spectacular to me."

"Well… sorry for that, Miss." The Dragon Slayer bowed slightly, like a knight. Usually it was enough to embarrass ladies, so they preferred to leave him alone.

But this little lady was unmoved by his petty schemes – she came closer, watching Saber carefully, like a car or any other item before a purchase. She even reached out her hand to poke him with her small finger.

"What are you doing to MY Saber?!" Illya stormed out of the room like a little but extremely angry ogre. First she was happy to meet Rin, one of the few potential friends she could actually make in her complicated circumstances. But short after she was ready to tear this insolent red Tohsaka devil to pieces, mostly for challenging her in magic tricks. "Summon your own Servant and leave mine alone!"

"Hah! Be sure I will!" Rin crossed her arms in a disrespectful pose. "And mine will be much stronger than this… this… reptile!"

Even Illyasviel's ears became red from barely suppressed anger, her magic circuits also activated. One more word and she will annihilate this annoying girl!

"Stop it right now or my dragon will eat you!"

Even Aoi, who was coming through the corridor with Sakura, felt that the situation might soon become too dangerous to handle. She was about to stop the girls, when – surprisingly! – her younger daughter intervened.

"It's not true. Dragons do not eat little girls," she said with a tiny but warm smile. "Dragons save them."

Aoi and Rin froze for a moment – the purple-haired girl did not talk much since she came back, and now she was smiling! It was enough for her mother and sister to hug Sakura and burst into tears.

Siegfried only sighed painfully, surprised by such sudden change of atmosphere. From a fierce battle to group crying, huh? He could successfully stand against dragons but little girls were just too much for him.

"Lady Tohsaka! Children!" Irisviel did not have enough strength to leave her room, probably only pure willpower let her remain in human form at the final night of the Grail War. "The movie will start soon!"

Illya, who tried to keep her 'adult pose' and hide embarrassment, was grateful for this intervention. Siegfried followed his Master obediently into the room and watched her taking place almost on Iri's lap.

"Why Kiritsugu didn't want to come with us?" – Illya asked, not actually heartbroken, but disappointed. "He doesn't want to talk with me anymore?"

"No," Irisviel replied, patting her daughter's head. "It's just the opposite, actually."

"Why? I don't understand."

"This is what men do sometimes when they care too much. Fathers in particular. You will understand when you grow up a little."

Illya did not question this explanation: to a girl her age mother's words were sacred. But behind her back Saber frowned in silence, thinking that no child should ever face such problems.

Even if Emiya Kiritsugu is fighting for a kinder, better world for Illya, he… No, I'm just a spirit from the past, it's not my place to question it. However…

There was a Lancer, who – just before he vanished from the world of mortals once more – said that every human is precious for Servants. Because Heroic Spirits, the mad warriors from the past, had once fought for the future, so the new generations can live on and dream on...

Would he say that again if he was summoned to this timeline? Saber had his doubts, but he also tried to explain to himself that his worries mean only one thing – that, despite being bathed in dragon's blood, Siegfried remained as human as he could.

"Climbing these preposterously long stairs in the middle of the night seems just stupid."

"Then bring out your chariot." Waver sighed. He had enough of Rider's constant complaining. It was sad but true that they accomplished very little in this war so far, but the achievements of other teams weren't spectacular either. The King of Conquerors has never been so moody before and his Master suspected that something important is coming to an end. "Or at least your horse."

"Nah, that would be even worse. What's the point of making such stairs anyway?"

"Am I a walking encyclopedia for you?" Waver sighed again. "I read somewhere that getting upstairs is like a trial. It shows if you're worthy to receive the lecture from the gods. And placing the temple at the top of the mountain makes it closer to the heavens. Or something like that…"

"So you DID know." Rider chuckled, if making such sound is even possible with his deep baritone. "See, boy, we're both hungry. For knowledge and conquest, that's it! Just imagine all the libraries we can take over together! So many knowledge gathered through ages, waiting for us to claim it, ha, ha, hah!"

It supposed to be one of Rider's typical motivational speeches, but his Master knew the big man too well to be fooled so easily. Somehow Iskandar sounded… sad, distant even. Like he did not believe his own words.

Like he couldn't believe anymore that they're going to win.

At least Rider decided to join his Master and climbed the last part of the stairs with him. Not a big deal, especially for a Servant, but good intentions count, right?

"What now?" – Waver asked when they finally passed the gate.

"We're waiting," Iskandar replied, carefully looking around in search of potential assaulters.

So they waited. Getting more and more frustrated with every passing second, Waver moved the gravel with his feet. Like Archer had said, something was wrong with the mountain, but it would take days, maybe weeks, to examine it properly with such limited resources.

The main reason why they came here – to the place with the highest possibility to materialize the Grail – was to finally join the final fight. Pointlessly. It was a gamble and they lost it.

Their mistake became even more humiliating when the flares suddenly lightened up the sky on the other side of the river. Signals said that the war's already ended. Someone tried to provoke them, make fun of them… or just communicated the obvious.

All of this was painted on Iskandar's face. But soon the giant warrior gave Waver his typical wide smile.

"So... It wasn't the longest journey I could imagine, but it seems that the great showdown will take place tonight. Now, when our battlefield is known, I must ride forth in a way that will bring splendor to Rider class!"

His chariot appeared in a burst of lightning, but Waver did not move, suddenly hesitating.

"Are you sure about it, Rider?" – he asked, not able to look his giant Servant in the eye. He stared at three – useless, weren't they? – Command Spells on his hand.

"About what?"

"Taking someone like me to battle?"

Iskandar blinked, not sure if he understands his young Master.

"What are you talking about? Have you not fought by my side already? In the canals or with that crazy swordmaiden? Boy, you even participated in the meeting of ancient kings! And you still think you're not worthy?"

"But I…" Waver's face turned red, partially of shame, and partially of pride. He couldn't deny that he, indeed, took part in all those events. But still… What Rider is really thinking? Maybe he only pities his Master and tries to cheer him up? "Why would you even need me? These are what you really want, right?" He raised his hand with Command Spells, now shining with blinding red light. "Then I will give them to you. By the power of…"

He did not manage to finish the sentence, when Rider's big fingers wrapped suddenly around his wrist.

"Don't." Iskandar said calmly, this time completely serious. "I have a feeling that you'll be needing these."

"I won't, I'm not going to fight."

"Won't you even accompany me, as a friend? I know I was a failure of a Servant, but I thought all those hardships and fun we had together mean something."

Now Waver did not understand what's happening. He stared at Rider, totally lost, and not sure why the tears are rolling down his cheeks.

"It means a lot to me! I just… didn't suspect that someone like you, a famous hero, will ever consider me a friend. And I am a failure, not you."

When Rider's hand moved again, dangerously close to Waver's head, the boy instinctively tried to dodge another friendly strike. After all, it wouldn't be the first time the King of Conquerors disciplined him like that.

But this time Iskandar only gently patted his Master's hair.

"Do you really think that I, of all Heroic Spirits, would serve an unworthy Master?" He sighed, but then smiled again, in his typical, honest way, without any hidden meaning. "Besides, I promised you a nice duel with that Dragon Knight, didn't I? Let me keep at least this one promise when I'm still here."

Waver washed away his tears and shook his head. Well, it wasn't exactly like that, but if Rider sets his mind on something, resistance is futile.

"But Saber said he won't be fighting anymore."

"Ha, ha, ha! Of course he will! A hero of his caliber does not throw words to the wind!"

Seeing that Rider's typical enthusiasm is back, even if only for a short moment, Waver breathed out a sigh of relief. After being praised like that by a man, whose ego is probably greater than the Grail itself, he couldn't behave like a capricious child! Well, even if he could, he did not want to be like that anymore.

"Why are you still standing here, smiling like an idiot?" – he asked, gesturing towards the other side of the river. Actually, he almost shouted, with power, like he thought a good Master should. "Let's go, Rider. To battle!"

"I am Arthur, King of the Britons!"

Arturia stopped on the corridor, surprised by the strange dialogue and the group laughter that followed it. Such sounds seemed… surprising in the eve of the Grail War's grand finale.

She peeked into the room, just to see Lady Tohsaka with her two daughters, Irisviel with Illya, and Saber, sitting together on the big sofa. Were they… watching a movie?

Siegfried just glanced at her and moved left to let the fellow Servant sit comfortably next to him. He encouraged Arturia with a pack of popcorn – a treat she couldn't easily ignore. Kiristugu wanted be alone anyway and she had nothing better to do, so…

"Aren't you a bit too relaxed a moment before the fight?" – she asked between the bites, quiet enough to not disturb anyone except Saber.

"It's for the children," he explained, then shrugged. "They deserve some fun, don't you think? Besides, I told you already - I'm not fighting."

But he couldn't deceive her so easily. Sharp eyes of the King of Knights could see right through him. Arturia had met too many warriors like him, who were burning inside, always struggling. Saber was as prepared to the battle as the rest of them.

"You're not an attacker, rather a protector," she said, turning her gaze back to the screen. The scene with peasants gathering mud turned out to be surprisingly funny, even for her. "This somehow dulls your blade. Unless you find something worth killing for."

"And you think I've found it already?"

"It's rather obvious." She glanced at Illyasviel, squeezed between Iri and her big Servant, like a fluffy little animal. Siegfried did not even try to deny it, only sighed hopelessly and passed to Arturia a wandering plate with chocolate cookies.

Even when the movie ended, they all stayed on the sofa, lazily stretching their limbs, subconsciously trying to make the moment last longer, even if only for few minutes.

Then Kiritsugu appeared at the door, like a ghost of cruel reality.

"It is time," he said and retreated, wrapped in a cloud of cigarette smoke. When Tohsakas left the room, he helped Iri to get up and take few unsteady steps through the corridor.

Lancer and Saber stayed behind for a while to not disturb their Masters' last moments with family.

"It was… enjoyable," Arturia said quietly, breaking the uncomfortable tension in the air. "But it's not nice of you to openly laugh from King Arthur like that."

"We're not. Such movies only show the greatness of your story. Who would have thought they make even parodies of your legend?"

"Hmm." Lancer seemed pleased by such point of view. "I'm just glad no one summoned the Knights Who Say 'Ni' to this war. They would be terrifying adversaries."

Siegfried blinked, then laughed at Lancer's comment. It was probably the first time he heard this extraordinary woman joking.

On the other hand, for her it was the first time to hear Saber laughing like that. Better late than never, she thought with a strange smirk on her usually scary face.

"This is the last goodbye. I'm glad I was able to meet you, Dragon Slayer. You're more than your legend says."

"It was an honor, King of Knights."

They firmly shook their gloved hands. Kiritsugu said nothing, only turned around and pretended he isn't the part of this prolonged spectacle. Irisviel smiled gently to both Servants, then whispered something to Illya. The girl nodded and walked up to her Saber, officially placing herself under his care.

Being too weak to stand, Iri found herself in Kiritsugu's arms, where she turned around to look at the little homunculi girl and her guardian for the last time. Siegfried understood the message in her heartbreaking gaze: Irisviel asked him to remember his promise.

Feeling the small, warm hand of Illya grasping his fingers, Saber knew he will, no matter the cost.

They were about to get into the car, when the signals from the other side of the river lightened up the sky. It was a clear challenge, a gauntlet thrown down to provoke a knight.

"Master, permission to go first?" – Arturia asked with such force that only a Command Spell could stop her now.

Kiritsugu instinctively reached for a cigarette and nodded. They were about to go all out tonight anyway, so Lancer was free to fight like she wants. Maiya had departed already and it was wise to arrive separately, surround their enemies and surprise them.

"Just be careful and do not let them corner you. You're free to use your Noble Phantasm when and how you want to, Lancer."

Arturia nodded and smiled meaningfully, when she mounted her mare. Llamrei was as ready to spread destruction as her rider.

"I will bring you victory, Master!" It was the last thing the King of Knights said before vanishing from their sight into the night air.

Emiya did not comment it. He only helped exhausted Irisviel get into the car, then turned on the engine.

The streets seemed unusually quiet tonight, like if anything that lives could feel the danger in the air and waited in silence for the conclusion.

"Hey, Iri… Before it's too late, I need to tell you something," Kiritsugu said all of a sudden, when they were crossing the famous red bridge. "I was thinking a lot recently, there was even a moment I wanted to throw it all away, take you, Illya and run away to the end of the world… But I couldn't. Not after so many sacrifices, so many decisions that took us to this point. I wouldn't forgive myself if I did." He shook his head, feeling overwhelmed by the weight of his own words. "Iri. You, of all people, can understand that, right?"

He waited for an answer, a reassurance that what he's going to do is right. For support anyone would need in his situation. For his reason to fight.

But when he looked into the rearview mirror, there was no Irisviel on the backseat anymore, only a simple golden cup, glowing faintly in the overwhelming darkness.

3, 2, 1… here we go with the ending. Who's going to die first in the next chapter?

I'm wondering if I should end this part of the story in one longer chapter or few shorter ones? What do You think?

Sorry if this chapter felt a bit too melodramatic, but there were things I needed to tell and had no better way to do so.

The movie quoted here is (obviously): "Monty Python and the Holy Grail".

Also, please don't ask if I'm alive, because… I can actually not be. I have some serious health problems recently, but I'll do what I can to finish what I started (and to do some new things I promised to write).

Anyway, thank You for being here for so long! I promise there will be at least one serious battle in the next chapter. See You soon!