AUTUMN

Sadie prances about in Lars's dreams.

Currently, his dreamself follows her through various rooms that vaguely resemble his home. He chases the chiming sound of her shrieking giggles. Bright pastel colors sparkle around them each time his hand brushes her summer skin, fading into a more muted shade when she slips out his grip. When his arms finally manage to lock around her, they fumble to the ground together. Their naked bodies intertwine. Their happy laughter blend together in a merry melody that echo brilliantly around them. It makes him feel light in the chest as his dreamself tickles her sides and kisses her neck.

Her laughter becomes breathy. She squirms beneath him, and her caressing hands on his back ignite bursts of heat that tingle his skin. He pulls back to look down at her smiling face, and the sight leaves him hard and aching for her when he starts to wake.

In the seconds where Lars lies between rousing from his slumber and opening his eyes to full consciousness, dream and memory had blended together. His hand had reached for her to squeeze her thigh, or palm her soft belly, or caress anything really as long as he was touching Sadie's silky skin. Lars gets a handful of cool sheets instead.

The skinny teen groggily sits up. The afternoon sun hits him square in the face. Lars grumbles irritably. Lying back down, Lars turns away from the window. One hand idly adjusting the tent in his blankets, the other rubs the crust out his eyes and wipes the drool off chin. He yawns a loud keening sound as he stretches, back bones popping, as reality settles back into his brain.

Right. Sadie's visiting her dad's side of the family in the awful armpit that is Jersey. She's been gone for ten days, and won't be returning for another four.

"So you're just leaving?" he had grumbled, arms crossed as he sat at the foot of her bed while she stuffed clothes into a tiny travel bag. Just moments before, he had been ecstatic when he crawled through her tiny window, eager to tell her about the weekend plans he had just made… Plans that were no longer viable. "Were you even going to fucking tell me?"

"It wasn't like I was keeping it a secret." Sadie had sighed a bit apologetically, and turned away from her dresser to face him. Hand on her hip, she took in the deep scowl pouting his lips and rolled her eyes. "And I'm telling you right now."

"Yeah, like a day before you leave," he had muttered. His lanky body slumped off the mattress and flopped down to lie fully on the floor.

"Well, it's not like I'll be gone that long," she added, and her shoulders shrugged while she sheepishly wrung her hands. "And you can text me whenever...if you want."

Lars just made a disgruntled noise at that.

This impending departure had felt too news had left a bitter taste in his mouth, and made his chest feel hollow though he couldn't exactly pinpoint why. Lars sighed heavily before he grumbled."This sucks."

She stared down at him for a few seconds, and her expression seemed to bounce between guilt and exasperation towards the situation. But she settled on letting out a short, incredulous laugh, and turned her back to him to start packing again.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're going to miss me."

"Yeah, right," he tsked. His long legs flailed about when he rolled on his side so she couldn't see his flushed cheeks. His eyes glared at her massive pile of stuffed animals. He hated the way his insides flipped. "It's just annoying, Sadie. I had already told Buck that we were gonna go to the premiere of that cheesy cartoon movie with him and the other Cool Kids this weekend. Now, when I show up alone, they're gonna think I'm a loser."

"Whatever, Lars," she softly scoffed. "You don't even want to see that movie. You said the trailer for it looked like a wet pile of garbage had a baby with some bad CGI. Why waste your money on that?"

"Ugh. Because we're watching it ironically, Sadie. There's a difference," he grumpily explained. He watched as she pulled out her white lace crop top, and for some reason he had felt relieved when she placed it back in her dresser drawer. "Besides, you were gonna buy my movie ticket."

"Why would I ever do that?" Sadie asked, whipping her blonde head back around to peer at him in disbelief.

"Oh, I think I could've persuaded ya," Lars had said with a smug, suggestive smirk.

Sadie blinked and weakly laughed him off. Shaking her head, she muttered, "I'm pretty sure you're overestimating your prowess." However, the pink in her cheeks told him she wouldn't be against him trying to prove her wrong. So he had sat up with his arm outstretched towards her.

Sadie paused in her actions to stare at him questioningly. His hand curled and uncurled in a grabbing motion, though his gaze dropped shyly to the carpet. So he didn't see the uncertain look that crossed her face, nor the stiff, reluctant way she took a half step forward. He didn't see the small smile that curved her lips either, at least not until she's directly in front of him. Sadie sat between his opened legs. He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a good squeeze before he rested his head atop hers, and inhaled her sweet scent. Foggy, yet fond memories, invoked by whatever perfume or shampoo she always used, swirled in his head. They had sat like that for a solid five minutes.

His heart hammered in his chest the whole time.

Lars now sighs and stares blankly up at his ceiling. He counts the dust particles floating in air as they catch the light, and listens to the chirp of birds and the happy shouts of children playing outside since there's nothing but silence in his home. Lars glances out of one his windows, getting a glimpse of red and browning leaves shifting in the wind. He then picks up his phone with a frown, and types in a text: It's hella boring w/o u

Lars pauses for a moment. Chewing on his bottom lip, he looks the message over a few times before he deletes 'without you'. Only then does his thumb taps the send button.

His phone buzzes a minute later with Sadie's response: lol how many times are you going to tell me that?

'I dunno', he replies, thumbs moving at lightning speed. 'Probs not til u get home :p '

'i miss you too, Lars'

He blushes down at his phone, suddenly glad she isn't here to see the stupid grin that breaks across his face.

'I'm not coming back early tho' , she adds, cutting off the usual line the conversation went when he texted her since her departure. 'You're probably only bored because you're just sitting in bed playing video games. Go outside, or clean your room or something.'

Lars sucks his teeth, rolling his eyes. Before he can think up a good retort, she sends him another text; I gtg. We're going to a game, and then dinner. I'll ttyl

Lars sighs. His phone is flung carelessly onto his nightstand, and he rolls over to lie on his stomach. He sighs heavily once again into his pillow.

He's being so pathetic.

It's not like he's never had a crush before. There was that week in kindergarten he noticed Kiki Pizza had a cute smile. There was also that cashier with purple hair that just happened to be the one to always ring up his random purchases during that one summer in middle school. There was that college girl that came to Beach City for spring break who swam around him in the ocean for hours, and Lars thought about her nonstop for all of a day. And of course there was Jenny, who's so intimidatingly cool that he's still not sure if he simply misinterpreted his ongoing admiration for her during those days he called himself liking her. But yeah. Crushes he could deal with, because, if he waits long enough, the feelings that make him all sweaty and jumbled up his thoughts would naturally fade. At least, that was the case before Sadie.

But Sadie's not a simple crush for him anymore. It's blown past that a long while ago. And he's not really certain if he can handle that. Their current situation is ...good. Better than good. More than he has any right to hope for considering she's so… Smart. Kind. Strong. Funny. Pretty. A little ball of sunshine that can most definitely kick his ass.

His heart skips a beat.

Things with Sadie are only temporary, however. Lars tries to stop the line of thought there, but his stomach drops and trepidation trembles in his chest because eventually she'll find someone else - someone better - and that'll be that.

His stomach rolls unpleasantly at the thought. But then it growls, and Lars remembers that he hasn't eaten anything today and it's almost one o'clock. So he grumbles, and slides out of bed.

He stomps around to his dresser to tug on a shirt and some boxers before leaving his room. His feet tread heavily down the staircase. The carpeted floor of the living room dulls the thump of his stomping feet, so he purposefully bumps his shoulder into the wall just to make the picture frames hanging there shake and clatter to help vent the frustration building in him.

He pauses in the kitchen doorway when he sees his mother asleep at the table.

His footfalls soften as he goes to stand by to her. There's a cold cup of tea next to her. Lars frowns. She must have crashed here after coming in from work this morning.

He gently nudges her. Nothing. He bites his lip, unsure if he should just let her be. His parents have been working the late shift for some months now, and him coming down from his room to find one of them like this during his off day isn't uncommon.

But then Lars glances at the family calendar tacked next to the fridge by the collage of family portraits and his childhood drawings. Seeing his mom's upcoming doctor's appointment marked on it in bold letters, he remembers how she's been complaining about body pains lately. Sleeping at the table probably wouldn't help with that. So he shakes her shoulder a little harder.

"Nanay," Lars calls when she starts to stir. "Wake up, nanay."

"Hm?" His mom slowly lifts her head with a small yawn. Her tired eyes open, dark circles outlining them. Lars frowns at how the whites of her eyes are moreover yellow. She's so frail looking that her large mass of orangey-brown hair seems likely to cause her neck to snap as she lulls her head back to look up at him. "Oh. Morning, Laramie."

"It's past noon, nanay," he gently informs her through gritted teeth, internally cringing at the use of his lame name. His jaw relaxes, however, when she sweetly cups his cheek and he has to fight the tiniest of smiles from twitching at the corners of his mouth. "Why don't you get to bed?"

"Oh!" his mother chuckles weakly at herself. He helps her stand up, and sees that a small pile of overdue bills had been acting as her pillow. "Thanks, dear."

Watching her stumble sleepily toward his parents' bedroom, Lars frowns at himself. All those days he clocked out early from work, or bailed completely, suddenly come back to haunt him. His parents are working so hard, and he's just fucking around like an idiot. Being useless as always.

Lars opens and slams cabinets before doing the same to the refrigerator door. Carrying a blue and white ceramic bowl his father had made some odd years ago, a carton of lactose milk, and an almost empty box of off brand chocolate cereal to the table, Lars takes the seat his mother just vacated.

Lars makes quick work of fixing his meal. Using the small, color changing spoon he once got as a prize in a box from his childhood, he stirs the chocolatey o's to turn the milk completely brown. He eats slowly while he flips through the opened envelopes to see how close they're toeing the line with financial ruin.

Glancing over it all, they really aren't that bad off. It's not even be worth stressing about, especially since he'll get his paycheck soon enough to contribute.

So Lars finishes his breakfast/lunch in relative silence, occasionally catching himself humming a bouncy tune that he can't quite place how he knows. Depositing the dishes in the sink, Lars makes his way back to the living room.

There's a sudden loud clap of thunder, followed closely by the screams of the children that had been playing outdoors. The sound vibrates through the house, and lightly jostles Lars's insides.

"Fuck," Lars yells out, legs wobbling as he jolts back in shock. He falls flat on his butt, hissing another curse at the floor before he clambers over to the window. Peering out in curiosity, his brows knit together when confronted with blue skies and sunshine. Confused, Lars unlatches the lock and opens the window to poke his head out. A second later, he spots where the noise came from.

Some weird, hulking creature is bumbling around down the street. There's another boom, a blast from the monster that causes the house to shake and sends something flying into Lars's frontyard. Chunks of grass and dirt flings up from where it landed, and Lars blinks when the cloud of dust dissipates around the figure occupying the fresh hole on his lawn.

Steven.

The young boy pops back onto his feet like getting slapped nearly ten feet was nothing. Steven cups his hands around his mouth to amplify his voice, screaming towards the action that he was okay. Lars barely makes out a feminine voice replying to the boy when Steven turns his head. Their eyes meet, and Steven beams at Lars, excitedly waving his hand.

"Hi, Lars!"

"Hey, Steven," Lars replies a bit dryly, weakly lifting his hand to waggle his fingers in greeting. "Make sure that thing doesn't knock down my house, will ya?"

"Sure thing, Lars!" Steven proclaims, clenching his fist in determination as he nods his woolly head in promise.

"And keep it down!" Lars hollers after him when Steven runs off to rejoin the fight. "Some of us are trying to sleep!"

With a light scoff and a roll of his eyes, Lars closes the window. This dumb city is so weird.

Lars makes his way back to his room, frowning when he sees the boxes holding the Christmas decorations have toppled over. He sluggishly moves to fix the boxes, barely restacking them into their proper place when another, though more distant, thunder-like clap boomed. Another light quake hits the house. The boxes wobble and topple over.

"Ugh!" Lars groans, flinging his head back in aggravation. "Stupid little..."

He continues to mutter heatedly under his breath as he rights the boxes again, this time securing them with the other boxes that got stored up here. But now the wall of space looks neater than the rest of his room.

Glancing around, his really notes just how messy his room is. Not dirty exactly, just moreover disorganized and cluttered. He could attempt to straighten up a little.

So Lars rolls up his sleeves, and starts kicking things into piles. The trash pile is quickly disposed of, the dirty clothes pile gets dumped in the hamper after he puts away the clean clothes that's been sitting in the bin since he last did laundry, and the random stuff pile eventually gets distributed around the room.

He turns to his bed, trying to remember the last time he washed his sheets. Lars sucks his teeth. Does he even care? Not really. In fact, he can feel his will to spruce up his surroundings drain into a familiar indifference.

So instead of stripping his mattress, Lars goes over to the green chair next to it. Crouching down, Lars blindly reaches beneath it. He's pretty certain he had stashed some candy under it, and munching on some gummy worms while playing a few rounds of his favorite online game sounds like a good way to waste away the rest of the day.

Something soft brushes his hand. Lars frowns, and pulls it out. He then blinks at the item pinched between his thumb and forefinger.

Panties. Plain, blue, cotton panties with a white elastic band. Sadie's.

How long has it been here, hidden beneath his armchair?

The fabric is still soft. His fingers idly fiddle with it until it's inside out. It looks relatively clean too. Brows knitting with inner debate, Lars hesitantly lifts and lowers it a few times before finally just bringing it up to his nose. The scent is a bit dull, and it's mixed in with a light musk that naturally comes from being on the attic's wooden floor for who knows how long. But it's there. Pungent, tangy, and making his head swim as he inhales deep for the second whiff. Sadie.

"Fuck," he groans hoarsely into the cotton blend as something in his stomach drops, and his dick hardens almost instantly. He blinks a bit hazily then, lowering the underwear to frown at himself as his actions truly catch up to him. "Okay, this is just weird."

He stands back up. Clutching her panties in a tight fist, Lars glances around, unsure of what the hell he is suppose to do with them.

The thought of her slightly horrified face upon him presenting them to her the moment she got back makes him snicker a bit, easily picturing her trying to snatch them out his grasp. Her cheeks would be so red! He bet she'll look downright adorable.

She might accuse him of stealing them, though. And then he'll have to defend himself, because, despite what he had just done mere seconds ago, he isn't exactly in the business of collecting girl's underwear. He has enough stuff cluttering his room as it is, let alone something that'll end in a awkward talk with his parents if it ever got mixed in with the laundry. And even if he were the type of guy to steal his lover's...his friend-with-benefits' underwear, he would certainly choose a better pair than these. He probably would've taken the grey boyshorts. Though it's even less sexy than the one in his hands, she seems to be rather comfy in the pair. It's the only piece of underwear she'd freely walk around in when he's in the room with her. And the way the fabric stretches across her perfect behind…

"Ugh, why am I even thinking about this? This is stupid. I should just throw them away. It's probably been here for like ever, and she obviously doesn't care about them for her to just up and leave them behind like this!"

A hollow pang suddenly hits his chest, and Lars kicks at his bedframe in annoyance. He immediately spews out a curse as pain shoots up his toes. He hops around in a circle, almost toppling over, until the pain stops. Lars glares indignantly at his bed, resisting the urge to kick it again out of spite.

He then lets out a heavy sigh, shoulders sagging. Soft cotton still held firm in his palm, Lars wonders if all this had been a mistake. Recently it felt as if they're in some kind of relationship purgatory. Or had it always felt like that, and he was just too happy to be touching her to notice?

Lars sucks his teeth at that thought.

He shouldn't have opened himself up like this. He should of...He should have never kissed her back in spring. Or, at least, never offered to make it a reoccurring thing. Not when he knows he's so undeserving, and it'll be his heart that's on the line. Fuck, what kind a stupid idea was that? Did he really think he was capable of not getting more attached to her? He wished he had kept his stupid mouth shut.

However...

His eyes drops to the crumbled blue fabric. His heart flutters with the memory of every tiny smile, every snort-filled laugh, every gentle sweep of her thumb across his knuckles, and every strawberry flavored kiss she'd given him since that fateful night, and his dick twitches in his underwear.

He's never wanted something more than to be with Sadie. Really be with her. It's scary as all get out, but damn it all if he doesn't ache for it. And maybe if he could just not be such a fucking coward all the damn time, maybe he could...they could…

"Oh, fuck me," Lars huffs to himself.

Lars shakes his head. He doesn't want to think anymore. His long legs move swiftly as he storms out his room in a direct route to the bathroom. He slams the door behind him, and takes a deep breath. His cheeks heat up when he looks at the panties still in his fist.

He feels a little perverse for what he's about to do.

The tingle of self disgust crawling over his skin doesn't stop him from turning on the faucet however. He waits for the water to heat up before he twists the knob so only a tiny stream is flowing into the sink. Careful not to over do it, fearful of washing away her scent, he lightly dampens the crotch of the underwear.

Turning the water off, Lars pokes his head out the bathroom door. House still and silent, Lars dashes back up to the attic to flop onto his bed. He kicks off his boxers. The hem of his shirt is hurriedly lifted up, so the cloth bunches up above his small, stiffened nipples. He swiftly brings the panties to his face. Covers his mouth and nose with it, moaning as his eyes flutter shut, and his fingers try to smother him with it.

Wet, warm, and reeking of her arousal.

Fuck yeah!

His hips buck into the air. His free hand fists his hardening cock, pumping the length in steady, leisurely strokes. Wrist twisting, hand squeezing harder around the weeping head and smearing the precum down his shaft to use as lube, Lars grunts and whimpers.

He can picture her so easily, cheeks all rosy as thick thighs shyly come up to straddle his head…

Lars thrusts up into his hand.

"Oh, Lars," she would gasp airily in pleasure, making something in his belly tighten as she rides his tongue with growing abandon. Fuck, he loved it when she lost herself in him, when she got loud without realizing and she grinded almost frantically on him. And is there anything better than having her cum against his mouth? Her distinct flavor flowing over his tastebuds like warm honey. Feeling her legs quake and turn to jelly. Those tiny gasps and keening noises of hers that transforms into breathless laughter when he keeps going. The blissfully satisfied look in her eyes right after. Knowing he's made her experience at least a fraction of how good she makes him feel. His cock quivers at the memory. God, he wants that.

Biting into the cotton, he whines pitifully when he sucks it and her taste doesn't wash over his tongue.

Longing hits him square in the gut.

Shit shit shit!

Lars's face twists in a grimace, his eyes squeezing more firmly shut. His hand moves faster, chasing the niggling sadness away with selfish pleasure. His breath quicken, harsh and hot, cotton clinging to his mouth as his jaw slacken. The warmth on the thin fabric is starting to cool. The moisture no longer feels pleasant. But she's still filling his nostrils, and it's enough.

He thrusts desperately into his hand. The heels of his feet grind and slide down the sheets of his mattress. He chokes out her name. And his seed splatters onto his belly, and dribble down his fingers.

Fuck.

After a few gasping breaths, Lars groans and peels the garment off his face. He lazily runs it over his sticky fingers before mopping up his stomach. He flops his head back when he's done. Lars stares up at the ceiling, his eyelids drooping. The balled up underwear stays clenched in his fist as he dozes off.

Sadly, seeing as he slept in past noon, the nap is much more brief than Lars would've liked.

It's been long enough, however, for the underwear loosely held between his fingers to become stiff and lightly crusted with white. Lars's lips curl in disgust. He's definitely throwing these away.

In the meantime, he tucks it between the mattress and the bed frame. He rolls out of bed with a soft grunt, dragging the red duvet with him so it can act as a cushion when he squats down in front of the television to boot up his gaming console.

He spends the rest of the day button mashing, alternative and indie rock songs blasting in the background, and only stops when his father comes up with a plate of food. Lars instantly starts to devour it full heartedly, shrugging at his dad as he gapes at the cleared floorway.

"It's so nice to see you taking some initiative," Lars's dad gently comments with a little smile. Lars rolls his eyes, unsure how to take the...compliment? Simple observation? But Lars smiles weakly back at his dad, who is still nodding at the room's newfound organization. "Even the smallest step forward can make a big difference."

"Because action is better than inaction, and nothing changes otherwise," Lars recites a bit blandly. "I know, tatay. I saw the motivational phrase of the week you taped on the fridge."

His father beams. "I didn't realized you were still reading them."

Lars shrugs, silently snorting a laugh before consuming another forkful of food. Lars can see the spark in his dad's eyes, and knows the man will be spending his break time tonight searching the internet with renewed vigor for inspirational quotes and images to print.

They then have a brief chat about his mom staying home while his dad will be heading off to work soon. Lars nods, waving his dad goodbye and promising to check in on his mom.

Finishing up his meal, Lars gets up to set the plate atop his bedside table and flings back onto the mattress. It bounces him for a moment, the springs lightly squeaking. He picks up his cell phone, frowning when he sees he doesn't have any new messages.

With a few taps to the smooth screen, Sadie's contact is pulled up. Lars stares at the picture saved with her info, a snapshot he'd taken of her when she first woke up. Her eyes are droopy and she has a serious case of bedhead, but the tiny smile she wore upon seeing him next to her in her bed made his insides flutter. So of course he ignored her pleas to delete the supposedly unflattering photo, but agreed to her demand that he wouldn't show it to anyone.

That hollow feeling needles its way into his chest again, the dull ache growing stronger the longer he looks at her picture. God, he's sick of feeling like this. And it's probably just because he was just talking about it with his dad that makes the corny inspirational phrase pop into his head. If things with Sadie are gonna change, he has to actively do something . So maybe he should just…

Lars gnaws on his bottom lip, uncertain.

Fuck it.

His thumb taps the phone icon.

It rings once, and his heart rate increases. It rings twice, and he forgets to breathe. It rings a third time, and then...

"Hello?" Sadie's voice is pure confusion in his ear, and he laughs nervously into the receiver. Why had he called her like a weirdo? No one called anymore, except grandmas or when there's an emergency.

"H-hi! Hey! Uh...My finger slipped while I was texting, and I accidentally called ya," Lars lies through his teeth.

"Oh."

"Yeah. I'll just...um. I'll just hang up now."

Sadie snorts, and he can almost see her shaking her head. "No, it's fine. We can talk… I mean, if you want?"

"Sure," he replies a little too fast, and he cringes at how desperate he sounded. Lars takes a deep breath, and reminds himself to act smooth. "Cool. Cool cool cool. What's up?"

"Uh, nothing much at the moment. Getting ready for bed. What were you trying to text me?"

"Huh?"

"You said you called by mistake when you were trying to text me," she reiterates. "What was the text?"

"Oh. Uhh, I was just...Um." His eyes dart desperately around his room, landing on the smiling bat decals he was suppose to put on the Big Donut's glass windows a few days ago. "Halloween!"

"Yeah?" she questions, a touch of laughter in her tone. "What about it?"

"It'll be here before ya know it," he responds with a light shrug though he knew she couldn't see it. "Just wanted to get your opinion on what we should do."

"Oh. Well, we could have a horror movie marathon."

"Sades," Lars tsks. "That's no different than any other day we hang. Expand your horizons, babe."

"Ugh, don't call me babe. Especially with all that condescension in your voice," Sadie chides but she giggles as she does it, despite herself. Lars smiles, pressing the phone closer to his ear to hear her tiny snort. "And if my idea stinks so bad, then what would be your suggestion?"

"Eh. I think Sour Cream is throwing a rave in the abandoned shipyard," Lars mentions causally. The aspiring DJ had pinned a flyer on the Big Donut's bulletin board, and told Lars he was free to come before darting back out to post more flyers. "That should be cool."

"Yeah, I guess. Is it a costume party?"

"It's Halloween, Sades. Of course, it is."

"Well, I don't know! Maybe you guys are too cool for costumes nowadays."

"Whatever, Sades. You sound like such an ol' lady."

"Don't make me whip out my cane, whippersnapper."

Lars chuckles, and rolls over in his bed.

"So will we be doing matching costumes, or…?" Sadie asks, and Lars blushes at the thought of walking into a party together in a couple's costume. But he nods, only to cough and confirm her question with a soft 'yeah, maybe' when he remembers she can't see him. "What should we go as?"

"I dunno," he answers with a smirk. "But I bet you'd look good in one of those sexy bunny girl outfits."

"Not happening," she swiftly cuts in, and Lars's smirk widens. "So get any ideas of you walking around in a velvet robe with a fake cigar in hand out of your head now, because I'd rather get mauled by Evil Bear."

"Fine," he pretends to whine, shoulders shaking with barely held in chuckles. "No need to die at the hands of fake looking movie monsters. Hm. We could always go as the number ten, if all else fails."

"'Cause you're so long and skinny, and I'm so round. Ha. Ha," Sadie responds dryly, but there's a hint of genuine mirth there too. "You're lucky I can't smack you through the phone, Lars."

"Yeah, well if you could, I'd have ya touch a few others things too."

"Don't be gross."

"Me?" Lars gasps innocently. "I was talking about hand holding, and such. What were you thinking about?"

"The gutter, obviously."

He snickers. "Well, if it makes ya feel better, you're more of an eight than a zero."

"...I can't tell if you're comparing my body to those numbers, or if that's the rating you're giving it," Sadie mutters. "Either way, not a fan."

"What? Eight's good," Lars chimes in defence. " Curvy ."

"Hmph."

"And besides, you're def a ten, Sades. Total dime piece."

"Whatever, Lars. Stop teasing me."

"I'm not!"

"Yeah, well...you're a ten too," she says softly, and he grins freely. "When you're not suffering from a case of jerkface, anyway."

Lars scoffs in mock objection. "I'm an eleven . All day, every day. Thank you very much."

"Whatever you say, Lars."

He snickers, getting up off the bed to pace around the room. "So how's your dumb vacation going?"

"Good, actually. Today was nice. My cousins did drag me on a shopping adventure, though."

"How dare," he huffs in fake indignance, stopping in front of his dresser mirror. His reflection is beaming back at him. He doesn't bother trying to subdue it. Lars spins on his heels, walking to the opposite side of the room just the step in a circle as the conversation continues.

"Heh, yeah," Sadie giggles. "They practically bullied me into trying on some...um. Intimates."

"Intimates?" Lars parrots, brow arching. Memories of this afternoon floods his brain, and his cheeks flame. He coughs into his hand, clearing his throat so his voice wouldn't come out weird. It still sounds a bit squeaky when he speaks though. "Like lingerie ? Why would they pressure you into buying that, unless...you told them about me?"

A pleased grin splits his face when she starts sputtering.

"N-no! I didn't even buy any. My cousins just think wearing sexy underwear is empowering or whatever."

"Mhm, a likely story."

"My point was I spent way more time in a dressing room than I ever wanted," Sadie adds, laughing softly at him. "You do realize not everything I do has to do with you? I'm allowed to do non-Lars related things."

"Yeah, I know," he whispers into the receiver, shrugging to himself. He thinks about how bitter he's been about her leaving, suddenly realizing how childish he had been acting. He does stuff without her all the time, so there's a part of him that wants to apologize, even though she wasn't even around to witness his temper tantrum. Instead he forces out a light chuckle. "But Lars related things are so great. Why go without it?"

"Why go without Sadie related things?" she fires back, and he snorts.

"Well, this time it's not my fault."

"Yeah, I guess that's true," she answers after a beat with a voice that's much too small and soft for Lars's liking. "Sorry."

"What? No, don't…" Lars grimaces, cringing a bit at the tinge of sadness in her tone. "I didn't mean it like that. Have fun with your cousins or whatever. It's fine. I'm not trying to make you feel bad."

"I know, but… I was thinking about it on the bus ride to Jersey, and I… I should have handled our goodbye better? Telling you at the last minute that I'll be gone for half the month was kind of crappy of me."

"Yeah, it kinda was," he softly agrees, but he scoffs out a little laugh to let her know it wasn't a big deal. "Sounds like some shit I would've pulled."

"Heh. Yeah. You're rubbing off on me."

"That's me. Making good girls go bad since twenty-whatever."

"More like driving girls up a wall," she jokingly sneers.

"You're such a hater, Sadie. Dang."

Her responding laughter - light and free- rings pleasantly in his ear, and he's smiling like crazy. Honestly, why did he use to force himself to go without her?

"So when ya get back," he finds himself saying, "you wanna meet up or something?"

"What? You want me to come over?"

"Nah. Well, I mean, yeah . I do. But like, maybe we could go out first? We could meet up at Fish Stew Pizza the day you get back, and uh catch up. You can show me all your lame vacation photos, and maybe we could hit up the arcade or something? See a movie? Um, ya know."

Lars chews on his bottom lip, mentally cursing himself. Nothing about what he said exactly spelled out date , but it certainly felt like he was asking her out. The line falls silent for a moment, and Lars is two seconds away from saying nevermind when Sadie finally answers.

"Yeah, that sounds nice actually."

"It'll be better than nice ," Lars somewhat snarkily remarked, grinning from ear to ear.

"We'll see," Sadie teases.

"Yeah, we will," Lars confidently says with a nod. He'll show her a good time, get her to laugh and blush and scrunch up her nose at him. And he'll hold her hand, and kiss her lips, and embrace her as much as he like because he misses her, damn it! And even if it isn't a date date, he'll be sure to end their day together with her screaming his name. And in the sweet afterglow, they'll languidly lounge about in bed together with their limbs intertwined. He'll play with her hair, and her breath will tickle his neck. And perhaps he'll get brave enough to whisper in her ear that he truly does love her, and maybe she'll look at him with those dark brown eyes and smile sweetly before reciprocating. Okay, so maybe that last part is just a pipedream, but whatever! "You'll be head over heels for me by the end of the day, baby."

He had said it as a joke, even if that sort of is his plan. Lars waits for her to laugh, scoff, maybe poke fun at him or even scold him for calling her baby. But the line falls silent.

He has no way of knowing that miles away Sadie is blushing like mad, curled up in the bed of her uncle's guest room, struggling to find her voice in the dark. So Lars frowns at himself, a wave of nerves washing over him as panic punches his gut. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

"Heh. Well, good luck getting me to even wear heels," she finally responds a second later, softly with a weak laugh. Relief crashes over Lars, and he soundlessly sighs a prayer of thanks that he hadn't ruined the mood.

"Nah, won't even bother with that," Lars chuckles quietly. His teeth sink into his bottom lip when a thought pops into his head. "But maybe you can wear that little blue dress of yours?"

"Maybe," she chirps back. "Not sure you deserve to see me in that dress."

"Please?" he begs sweetly, and she's giggling for real again. He can easily picture her rolling her eyes as she repeats her answer of maybe. "Well, if I walk into Fish Stew, and you're wearing it, then I'll know it's a date."

"A date?"

"Uh y-yeah," Lars laughs shakily, his cheeks practically burning his palm as he drags his hand over his face. How did his mouth keep digging him into these holes? "You'll have the pleasure of buying me pizza."

"Oh, lucky me. And if I'm not wearing a dress?"

"Sadie, as much as I'd like it, you can't go walking around naked."

"You know what I mean!" she huffs, and he snickers.

"You'll still have to buy me pizza. But you won't be getting any of my sweet affection, so ya know. Your loss."

She snorts. "Okay."

"Okay, you're wearing the dress; or okay, you're fine with missing out on my high quality kisses?"

"Okay, as in, you'll just have to wait and see."

Lars chuckles out a scoff, smiling smugly to himself. "It's a date then."

xxx

Sadie walks into Fish Stew Pizza with a sparkling bright grin on her face. She got in from Jersey early last night, and though excitement kept her from getting much rest, Sadie is buzzing with hopeful energy.

Today's her first real date with Lars!

Well, she's not really certain if he had been joking or not, but that doesn't take the pep out of her step. She blushes happily, excited to see him after two weeks. Glancing around, however, she doesn't see the lanky teen. Her eyes sweeps over the restaurant once more to be sure. Certain he's not here yet, Sadie goes to sit at a table near the back.

"Can I get you anything?" Kiki says in way of greeting the moment Sadie gets settled in her seat. She flashes Sadie a friendly smile.

"Um, just water, please. I'm uh waiting for someone."

Kiki nods, the pink bow in her hair swaying to the side. She leaves and comes back in less than a minute, placing a tinted red glass cup of ice water onto the little table. Sadie nods and hums a small noise in thanks, and Kiki nods back before moving on to other customers.

Sadie takes a few sips of the cool liquid as seconds tick by as a glacial pace. Her foot bounces anxiously. The empty seat in front of her stares back almost mockingly.

Sadie whips out her phone, double checking that this is the time they said they'll meet up. The texts where they laid out the plan for the day are at least two days old. Maybe she remembered wrong? But no, the messages on her screen says it plain as day. This is the time they set. So Sadie sends him a text to tell him she's here and waiting.

Five minutes go by, and there's still no reply.

Sadie frowns, her merry mood dampening a little. She reminds herself that this is Lars. Of course he's going to be late. So she wiggles in her seat, trying her best not to jump each time someone comes into the restaurant. However, she has no control over the pinch of disappointment that stabs at her each time it's not Lars walking through the chiming door. Sadie sighs and slumps a bit in her chair.

She impatiently drinks more water. Her eyes dart around the room, trying to find something to occupy herself with when Jenny Pizza's ecstatic giggles catches Sadie's attention.

"Wait, so you two are friends now?" Sadie overhears Sour Cream at the booth next to her.

"Yeah, we've been chatting for awhile," Jenny gushes excitedly as she needlessly wipes down the table her friends are seated at to appear busy. "She's coming to visit early next month and everything."

"Cool," Buck nods the same time Sour Cream says, "sweet."

Sadie shifts in her seat, and tries her best not to eavesdrop any further. Kiki stops by her table again a moment later, refilling her glass of water.

"You sure you don't want to order something?" Kiki asks gently, her eyes becoming sympathetic.

Sadie blushes and shakes her head. "No. I'd rather wait until my friend arrives."

Kiki nods, though her face seems uncertain as she fiddles with her apron. And when another five minutes pass, Kiki silently places a complimentary basket of breadsticks in front of Sadie.

"He's… He's coming," Sadie finds herself timidly telling the waitress.

Kiki just nods again, kindly giving Sadie a reassuring smile before going to a table on the opposite side of the room to collect dishes.

Sadie's insides twist.

He's going to come. This whole thing was his idea. Of course, he's going to come. Any minute now, the bell above the entryway door will ring, and Lars will be slinking his way over to her with that crooked grin on his face. And he'll tell her that he overslept or something, and she'll order something gross like anchovies and onions on her pizza just so the smell will annoy him. That seems like a good punishment for making her wait like this. Though she probably won't go through with it. The way he gags at the scent of anchovies will just make her feel bad.

She debates this for a moment longer, but it ultimately doesn't matter.

He doesn't show. Sadie waits and waits for almost two hours, but Lars never shows up.

With a heavy sigh, she scoots her chair back. It scrapes loudly on the tile floor. She can feel eyes on her as she walks out the restaurant alone. Her heart wobbles painfully in her chest. She bites down on her lip to stop it from quivering. Hands clenched tight in fists, Sadie glares up at the sky, fighting the sting of tears.

Wasn't the whole point of her little vacation to help her get over Lars? Or, at least, get enough distance to put her feelings in check. And yet, here she is! Not even a full day back in Beach City, and she's on the verge of bawling her eyes out because he stood her up.

Ugh! Why does she keep doing this to herself?

He is not her boyfriend, Sadie stubbornly reminds herself. He's just some jerk she sleeps with sometimes…

She's known of Lars for a long time, the town not big enough for her to not notice the bushy haired boy in her youth. But they're a little over a year apart in age, and were in different grades. So if she, as a little girl, saw him in passing and fleetingly thought he was kind of cute, Sadie never thought anything would come of it. And when Lars walked into the Big Donut during her second summer of working there, quietly asking about the help wanted sign on the door, her only hope was that they could become friends if and when he got the job. Which had been such a long road of struggle to get to, for even if they had similar interests, constantly joked around, and had some of the best conversations when they're alone, Lars almost always clammed up in public. Acted as if he was embarrassed to be seen with her, ashamed to have a connection with someone that… What? Wasn't cool? Wasn't some leggy bimbo? She isn't sure. But eventually that changed, and he stopped being as huge of a jerk by allowing them to be seen outside of work together.

Allowing them to be seen together? Had she really been giddy that first time he didn't flinch away when she sat next to him in public? What a low bar! How did she get so tangled up in him that she didn't see how shitty he was to her back then.

And, even after his pseudo apologies for his past behavior, he's still a jerk. A jerk with a laugh that makes her skin all tingly. A jerk with eyes that gaze so tenderly at her in the dead of night, it makes her insides melt. And whose kisses makes her weak in the knees. And he always surprises her with oyster crackers, and somehow manages to make her giggle when she wants to be angry, and rubs her back when she's feels crappy, and holds her hand while they watch dumb reality shows, and…

"Ugh!" Sadie groans out loud, aggravatedly kicking the air. "I can't do this anymore!"

The Fryman family stare at her weirdly from their stand, the trio of men averting their gazes and whistling an offbeat tune together when she notices them. Sadie sheepishly turns away, and continues on her walk home.

She just feels so stupid.

With every step she takes, a burning fury blazes stronger inside her. She doesn't even notice where she's headed when she makes a turn that doesn't lead to her house.

Sadie soon finds herself standing in front of Lars's home. She stomps up the porch steps. She doesn't even think about the possibility of being greeted by his mom or dad when her fist pounds aggressively on the door. She doesn't even care in the moment. She's so livid, she mentally curses his parents for bringing the boy into the world.

When no one answers, Sadie has to resist the urge to kick it down. Scowling at the white slab of wood, Sadie lets out a frustrated groan through clenched teeth. She then beats on the door with both fists, the rapid fire of thumps matching the hot rush of blood pounding in her ears.

The door finally swings open, and Lars glares right over her head. It only takes him a split second to sense her, however, and Lars looks down. His expression instantly softens, but Lars stares at her like he's stunned that it's her standing there. Sadie opens her mouth to yell at him, but she takes in his appearance - hair wild, bony shoulders sagged, dark lashes dewy, and red tinting the whites of his tired eyes- and she pinches her lips back together to stop herself from asking him what's wrong. His gaze darts from her frowning face to her pretty blue dress, then to the fists shaking at her sides before returning to her angry eyes.

"Shit," he finally says in a hushed whisper, before he glares at his feet and hisses more harshly, "Shit!"

Sadie's eyes go wide when he roughly smacks his forehead into the knuckles of his fist, bitterly muttering to himself that he was an idiot as he steps away from the doorway so she could come inside. Her anger is offset with concern, watching him walk aimlessly in circles as he tugs his hair.

"I totally fucking spaced, Sades," he says in way of apology, cracked voice sounding beyond frustrated with himself. His eyes are glassy when he stops pacing, his hand hesitantly reaching for her. She's so blindsided she doesn't even think when his forefinger timidly grazes over the back of her hand, she just instinctively weaves their fingers together. He lets out a tiny breath of relief, but that distressed look in his eyes doesn't fade. "Today's been utterly fucked."

"Lars, what's going on?" Sadie asks worriedly, her anger pretty much dissipated. "What happened?"

He shakes his head, hand squeezing her fingers as he silently leads her up to his bedroom in the attic. Once there, he drops her hand. He starts his pacing again, brows knitting together.

His room is tidier than the last time she's seen it, which makes it easier to notice the destruction created by whatever's upsetting him. She can see where he had kicked at the wall, and the fresh dents are right above the shattered remains of a broken game controller. Fret consumes her. When she looks back at him she frowns. Lars is still pacing aimlessly. He looks so distraught, it's really starting to frighten her.

"Lars?" Sadie calls to him gently, going to stand beside him. She cautiously grabs ahold of his elbow, and his pacing ceased. "Please tell me what's wrong."

Seeing that he's freaking her out, Lars inwardly curses and tries to take a calming breath. It doesn't work. Still, he straightens his back and spits out what's had him reeling into despair.

"My mom's in the hospital."

"What?" Sadie gasps, hand flying to cover her mouth in shock.

"She has jaundice, or something?" Lars tries to explain in a rush to keep from falling apart, but the shaky caliber of his voice proves it's not quite working. He fists his tuft of hair. "She checked in the hospital the other day. They hadn't figured out what was causing it yet. But her liver started failing, and...And she's getting an emergency transplant, so she...She's going into surgery like right now. "

"Lars," Sadie tries to break through his panic. He's starting to hyperventilate. She tenderly cups his elbow again, but he barely acknowledges her touch.

"And I'm here, because I'm too much of a coward to go sit in the waiting room with tatay ...I-I mean, my dad."

Sadie rubs his arm, unsure what to say. He plummets onto his bed, sitting on the edge with his head hung.

"And it's bull, I know it. But I can't handle being in the same building as all that. What if she doesn't … The new liver could fail too, and she can… I can't handle it. And there's absolutely nothing I can do, ya know? Other than sit here and be useless. Fuck, why am I such a waste of space?"

"Lars," Sadie protests sadly, "that's not true."

Lars scoffs, glaring at the floor when she takes hold of his chin with her thumb and forefinger. He doesn't jerk away from the touch, but he doesn't readily lift his head when she nudges him.

"It's not," she urges. "You are not useless. Lars, you're such a great person when you want to be. You have so much potential, I… I think you could do just about anything."

His heart skips a beat. She spoke with such earnest, he knows she's not saying it just to make him feel better. She genuinely believes that. And the way she's looking at him now is indescribable. If he was even half of what she thought him to be…

But he's not.

With a sigh, Lars takes her wrist, intent to push her away. But his treacherous fingers link with hers, his thumb drawing zigzags on her knuckle.

"I'm so sorry this is happening to you, your family," Sadie goes on to say, shoulders sagging slightly as she looks at him with genuine sorrow. "But it's only natural to be afraid, and no one can fault you for that. And I know there's nothing I can say to make you feel better, but I'm here to help in any way I can."

He doesn't say anything in response. Lars just nods and pulls her to him as he scoots back on the bed, seating her between his long legs while his arms wrap tight around her. He hides his face in her bosom. Every stupid emotion that's been raging inside him bubbles to the surface.

His shoulders start to shake violently, and the top of her dress becomes moist with tears. Sadie hugs him closer, rubbing his back and resting her cheek on his head. She rocks them gently from side to side, and lets him cry it out on her chest. His muffled sobs and her soothing hums are the only sounds to fill the room for a long while.

"Sorry," he sniffles when he's done. Lars slowly raises his head. He looks apologetically at her soaked dress top. Sadie gives him a small, sad smile. His face is red. Damp lashes frame tired, bloodshot eyes. His nose is twitchy as he tries to suck up watery snot. He scrubs his face harshly on his sleeve. His face comes back redder, but less wet. "Sorry."

"It's okay," she whispers. Sadie cups his jaw, forcing Lars to look at her. "I don't… I don't mind."

He tries to give her a smile of gratitude, but it crumbles quickly. Her thumbs brush his flushed cheeks, their gazes hold for a long moment, and then she's kissing him. Her lips on his are sweet and tender, and the kiss consoles him into a lulled state. His own lips are salty and yielding, and he sighs soundlessly into her mouth.

She's not certain when she started straddling him, but she's perched securely on his lap. Her hands are gripping his shirt, her mouth only leaving his long enough to free him of it. Sadie's hands caress his chest, the skin warm beneath her, feeling his body tremor at her gentle touch. He hugs her middle, so tight that his fingers crumple into the blue of her dress, as if he's afraid she'll disappear. She's barely able to pull the dress off.

Sadie presses Lars back until he's lying on the bed, kissing him sweetly, messing up his hair even more with her fingers before tenderly massaging his shaved scalp.

The bare flesh of her soft belly teasingly graze his flat stomach. A spark shoots through her, and by the way Lars trembles, she knows he felt it too. So she lays flat for a moment so the round fullness of her bra clad breasts can meet his solid chest. His groan is soft. His hold on her is firm. She keeps kissing him, hunger mixing into the comforting press of her lips on his, her hips rolling as she grinds down on him in a slow circular motion. And any pain or sadness lingering inside him washes away, if only for as long as she's touching him, kissing him.

"Sadie," he whispers her name like it's a holy thing, hushed and hot over her upper lip.

Her mouth travels down his neck. Lars silently gasps when she licks a heart over his pulse point. She slides back on his lap, fingers undoing his fly. He lifts his hips off the bed, and she rids him of his jeans and underwear, peppering the newly revealed skin with more adoring kisses as she does it.

Her bra and panties are flung away before she returns to her spot on his lap. He stares up at her like it's the first time; like her naked body is the most gorgeous thing in the world. His large hand shakes when it comes up to cradle her neck, fingers curling into the blonde tresses almost reverently, those big brown eyes of his never leaving hers; like she's the most wonderful being to ever grace the planet earth and he's unworthy of her touch. It's all nonsense, but his starry gaze warms her all over.

His mouth opens, perhaps to say what his eyes have already told her, but she steals his voice by taking his length into her hand.

He's so thick, her little fingers barely wrap around him. The stark difference in their skin tones never looked more beautiful, his sunburst tan and her creamy white clashed together as she strokes him lovingly. He worshipfully sighs her name again. A shiver rakes over her, and she sits up to guide the engorged, blushing head to her entrance.

She doesn't tease, too eager to please and make him feel good. Love on him.

Sadie immediately envelopes him in her heat, taking him so easily it's almost as if he was meant to be there. She moans at the pleasant feeling of him stretching her to the hilt. Completing her. Lars's head tosses back with a deep groan, sinking further into the pillow, neck exposed and vulnerable. She can see his adam's apple bob, and Sadie felt compelled to kiss it, teeth lightly grazing the tender flesh surrounding it. He curses her name this time, the sound coming out as a small croak. It makes the corners of her mouth quirk up.

Hands now flat on his chest, his heartbeat pounding with life under it, feeling the muscles work as it rise and falls with each heavy breath, she rides him slowly. Each undulation of her hips, every push and pull of their joined bodies, makes them gasp and shudder. Their eyes, lidded and heated, stay locked on one another. She watches his bottom lip quiver with each inhale, watches the red coloring his face creep down to heat his throat and chest, watches the twinkle in his blissed out gaze shimmer brighter the longer he stares at her.

Sadie focuses on his pleasure, never fully lifting off him and purposefully clenching around his arousal when she rotates her hips on the way down. Lars bucks up with each descent, knocking little gasps out of her as he meets her grinding motions, content to match her sensually slow pace.

He squeezes at her hips and thighs, assisting her movements, fingers digging into the skin to the point that she'll probably have bruises. The sting just adds another layer to the sensations rippling through her.

Long fingers that had once been so clumsy just months ago, now deftly strum her clit in perfect time with their thrusts. Sadie angles her head to the side, an obscene mewl clawing out of her.

"Yeah, baby," he calls out breathlessly, voice barely audible.

He almost looks delirious, so visibly affected by her obvious pleasure. Lidded, glazed over eyes appear black as he continues to stare reverently up at her, and something about his gaze and the adoring caliber of his voice when he called her baby makes her stomach drop. A fluttering warmth blooms from her lower abdomen. It spreads through her veins, tingling her fingertips as the digits press firmer onto his chest, making her heart hammer even more rapidly, heating her skin to a deep pink, and pooling between thighs. Lars softly moans at the feeling of her walls clenching around him. His attentive fingers move a little faster against the little bundle of nerves, and Sadie finds herself working harder to match him. The mattress starts to creak noisily. The back of the bedframe thumps into the wall.

"Cum for me," he hushly begs. "Please cum for me, baby."

She nods diligently at his plea. Fire blazes in her belly. Sweat beads down her bouncing breasts. Her thighs burn from effort. The slick sound of their flesh slapping echos in her ears as she frantically moves atop him. And suddenly all she sees is light, hot and white. It flashes over her in endless waves.

Sadie chokes on the air. She seizes before collapses on his chest, a trembling mess. Lars takes her happily, arms locking around her. He's been steadily grinding into her, but the precise movements falter in seconds.

"Ohhh G-god, Sadie," he moans shakily as he falls apart with her. He's crying again. She can tell by the wavering hitch in his voice. Her walls keep pulsing around him, milking him for all he's worth. He hugs her tighter against him, and she can feel every twitch and tremor of his body. "I love you so fucking much."

"Lars," she whimpers, but swallows back any other four letter L words that are begging to flow out of her.

Sadie closes her eyes, and tries her best to ignore his mutterings as she hugs him back.

He doesn't know what he's saying. His lips are moving without his brain's knowledge. He doesn't mean it. Sweet nothings, that's all it is.

But it all suddenly feels too intimate for her to bear.

Him holding her to his chest like this, her cheek resting between puckered brown nipples, hearing his heartbeat thump, his warm seed leaking down her thigh, feeling him soften inside her as his breathing evens out into that of slumber… His voice still sleepily murmuring her name. It's all too much. She squeezes her eyes more firmly shut, stopping tears from producing. Her heart aches.

She can't do this anymore.

Sadie lays with Lars for a long while afterwards, both slipping in and out of slumber.

When she's awake, her mind keeps looping the same thought over and over. This is the last time they're going to do this. This is the last time she's going to do this. Loud and abrasive in the peaceful silence, Sadie keeps pushing the thought aside in favor of dozing off. Tucked beneath his chin, his long limbs encircling her, Sadie listens to his soft snores and the steady beat of his heart until her mind is peacefully blank. However, the thoughts circle around her head when she awakens again. So Sadie now silently watches with lidded eyes as the evening light, pouring in from the windows above, dims into darkness. She frowns.

It's getting late.

With a heavy sigh and heart, Sadie slowly disentangles herself from Lars. Using the heel of her palm, she rubs the sleep out of her eye while she yawns. Sitting up for a better vantage point, careful not to jostle her bedmate as she does so, Sadie glances around the illy lit room to pinpoint the location of her clothes.

Once she's spied them, Sadie takes a brief moment to muster the strength to move to the other side of the bed, scooting slowly in hopes of getting out without making the mattress creak. She doesn't even make it a full two inches forward before an arm hooks around her waist to halt her. Sadie stiffens, turning her head to look down at Lars.

Half his face still buried in his pillow, his non-hidden eye opens and blinks sleepily at her.

"Don't leave," he whispers pleadingly.

His tired voice is weak and small, but the slender arm around her is solid. His hold on her is strong, but she could easily break away if she wanted. So Sadie's hand wraps around his wrist and lifts his arm off her, and she keeps the limb hovering in the air until she's comfortably lying down again. Lars snuggles closer, nuzzling his face into her hair, when she lowers his arm around her middle, and he falls back to sleep almost instantly.

This is the last time she's going to sleep with him, Sadie's brain reminds her as that terribly familiar ache settles over her heart once more. She closes her eyes, exhales a heavy breath through her nose, and allows herself to relish in Lars's body heat blanketing her. This is the last time.

But it's not.

She awakens to dawn's gentle sunbeams warming her naked skin, and Lars peppering her neck with tender kisses. She finds herself giggling, the moist kisses tickling her. She can feel his responding smile on her skin, as well as a short husky breath of laughter that makes Sadie's stomach drop, before his tongue begins to swirl circles over her pulsepoint. Heat spikes her blood.

Lying on his side behind her, his hardened length pressed enticingly against her backside, Lars's large hand caresses her soft tummy and down her thick thigh. Her skin tingles at the contact.

Squeezing her knee, he takes her leg and hooks it over his hip. His other hand tenderly fondles her breast, and Sadie moans in a heavenly daze when he finally eases inside her. They lazily make love this way well into the later half of the morning.

Afterwards, they held each other close, drowsily staring at the puffy clouds slowly floating past his ceiling high windows until his cell phone starts ringing. Lars frowns at the insistent noise, groaning as he sits up to send a glare towards the rarely used alarm clock on his nightstand. It's barely a quarter past eleven. The only person that would call him this early - excluding the occasional 'you're late for work, again' call from Sadie - would be... tatay!

And just like that, the happy little bubble they're in bursts. Uneasy dread churns in Lars' stomach as his mind flashes with what horrific possibilities await him with this single phone call from his dad.

Regardless of his fears, Lars still presses a quick kiss on Sadie's nose, however, before he sighs and reluctantly crawls out of bed to scramble over to the other side of the room. Lars digs his phone out of the stack of boxes that line the wall, where he had carelessly tossed it the day before in frustration. The beeping ringtone, one that Sadie only vaguely recognizes as the theme of some fake-deep anthology show, finally falls silent after a beep, followed by a shaky "hello," from Lars.

Concerned, Sadie watches intently from her spot on the bed as Lars walks around in circles, his head nodding along to whatever his father is saying on the other line. The call ends with a soft "okay" from Lars, and in a matter of seconds he's back to being curled up next to her. The tip of their noses brush while their eyes contemplatively gaze at each other. He murmurs a recap on the conversation: The surgery had went well. His mother is still unconscious from the anesthetics, but her body appears to be taking the new liver without problem. And his dad is going to stay at the hospital until she wakes up.

"You should go too," Sadie whispers. "I'm sure your mom will want to see you when she opens her eyes."

Lars nods a bit hesitantly, his top teeth lightly worrying his bottom lip while his hand slides around until it finds hers under the covers.

"Would you… Would you go with me?" Lars asks so softly it makes Sadie's heart ache. "It's just… My mom has always been my champion, as cheesy as that sounds. Like, back in middle school I had a teacher that was always messing with me, and one time I got kicked out of class for refusing to stop wearing nail polish."

"Nail polish?" Sadie whispers back, lifting her brow as if she wasn't sure she heard him correctly. Lars nods with a faint blush heating his cheeks. He'd forgotten she probably didn't know about his awkward emo stage.

"Black nail polish," he affirms. "Trust me, it looked cool. But my teacher was such a hardass about the whole thing. So he calls my parents down, and my mom chucked an eraser at the teacher's head during the conference meeting." Lars laughs at the memory, but the soft chuckle swiftly turns stiff, and his lower lip starts to quiver. He bites down to stop its trembling, and he takes half a second to attempt to calm himself before continuing. "She even scolded him for making me miss a day of class over something so stupid. It was the coolest thing to me back then, to see her take on that prick who's twice her size, and I just… The thought of seeing her all weak, tubes in her nose -" He swallows the lump forming in his throat, and sighs. His gaze lowers to their intertwined fingers, and he holds it a little tighter. "It'll just make me feel better if you were there, okay?"

She nods, the corner of her mouth hitching up slightly at his timid confession. "Of course."

His own lips curve up into a tentative smile after a silent sigh of relief, his hand squeezing hers once more in thanks before Lars presses chaste kisses onto her nose, cheek, and then her mouth. When he pulls back, he doesn't rush to look away like he usually does. Though she can easily see his genuine gratitude towards her in his somber expression, there's something else shining brilliantly in his eyes. Her heart skips a beat at the way he looks at her in that moment, and any remnant of the vow she made herself in the early twilight hours vanishes from her brain as her eyelids droop to a close and her lips find his once more.

When Sadie breaks the kiss, her eyes flutter open to the sight of Lars staring at her with an expression that seems to border on amazement. Sadie lifts an eyebrow at him in silent inquiry. With a blink, Lars seems to realize he's been gaping at her for almost a full minute. His cheeks burn red, his eyes cast down to the sheets as his lips part to exhale a humorless laugh that is almost inaudible to her ears. But Lars's fingers stay firmly entwined with hers as he sits up. He eases out of bed then, silently tugging Sadie along and helping her off the mattress.

Collecting clothes into a bundle in their arms, they walk naked from his attic bedroom to the bathroom. Silently, they shower together. He washes her hair. She scrubs his back. And they hug under the warm spray until their fingers start to prune.

They take turns wiping the other down with a fluffy blue towel. Lars gently smiles when he has to get down on his knees to properly dry off her calves, and Sadie blushes when he kisses her belly while she pats his head dry.

They turn away from each other while they got dressed, which seems silly if either thought about it for more than a second. She puts on yesterday's dress after stepping into a pair of doughnut themed boxers she stole from his dresser, while he slips on skinny jeans and a black shirt with some 70's band logo on it.

They walk down the stairs to the kitchen, eating a quick breakfast in comfortable silence. Their fingers link on their own accord as they ate, Lars giving hers a good squeeze every other minute. Each squeeze was accompanied by a shy glance, an appreciative smile, and a wave of bittersweetness. Sadie strengthens her grip on his hand, her thumb drawing comforting circles on his skin. Their hands stay linked as they put their dirty dishes into the sink, and they stay that way until Lars is forced to let go in order to push his scooter out of the garage.

As they zip down the streets to the hospital parking lot, Sadie holds him tighter than necessary, her cheek pressed into his back.

Lars calls his dad when they arrive to get the floor and room number. After going through the front desk, strolling down long white hallways and riding large elevators, they reach their destination. Mr. Barriga greets Sadie with a mild look of surprise before he grins at her and his son, hugging them both.

After a deep breath, Lars goes to stand next to his mother. He idly glances over at the beeping and hissing machines nearby, each displaying numbers and symbols he can't decipher a meaning for, until he dares to actually look at the frail woman sleeping in the hospital bed. The sight is just as rattling as he had feared it to be, but he also notices that the color in her cheeks and around her eyes seem a lot better than it had been for a while. Still, he has to choke back a sob. A heavy weight hits him in his chest, growing more and more unbearable with each passing millisecond that he stands next to his mother's prone body. Lars's eyes burn with the sting of unshed tears, his teeth sink painfully into his quivering bottom lip, and he can feel his heartbeat thumping in his throat as he inhales quick burst of air through his nose. Shit. His heart is racing. His eyes dart towards the exit. He… He can't deal with this. He can't...he… He needs to…

A small, soft hand squeezes around his long fingers.

A quick glance at the tiny blonde beside him, and the urge to flee leaves his system. Lars flashes her a tiny smile of thanks after a shaky breath and a sniffle, and Sadie smiles back comfortingly.

The rest of the day is spent quietly in hospital.

Lars and Sadie share a seat, their fingers woven together once more. They watch the tiny TV in the top corner of the room, flipping between cartoons and cooking shows. Mr. Barriga chats conversationally with Sadie, asking simple questions about the happenings of her life since he last saw her, before somehow segueing into a discussion of DIY crafts he's seen on the internet.

Dr. Maheswaran and a few nurses pop in and out over the course of the day, checking charts and spewing out encouragements to the room.

Later into the evening, Lars's dad leaves for about an hour or so to shower and take a power nap. Lars plays games on his phone with his free hand while the other fiddles with Sadie's fingers like her digits were a stress toy of some kind. She doesn't mind. Sadie turns her attention to her own cell phone to text her mom, mostly to give an update on her whereabouts.

At some point Sadie leaves to use the restroom, returning to find Lars muttering to his mother with fresh tears streaming down his cheeks. He quickly wipes his face on his sleeve when he notices Sadie's return, frowning at the floor as Sadie reclaims her spot next to him. Wordlessly, she pulls him into an embrace. Lars snuggles into her side without complaint, burying his face in her hair and inhaling deep until he feels calm enough to resurface. They shuffle in the chair a bit, refocusing their attention back to the tiny television.

Mr. Barriga returns not too long after that and he gives them money for the vending machine, so they have a junk food feast that ties them over until dinner in the cafeteria is sold.

When sunlight truly fades into an inky night sky, with Lars's mom haven't so much as flexed her fingers, dread fills Lars's gut.

"Why don't you go on home for the night?" His dad suggests to the pair with a sad little smile. "I'll call you if anything changes."

Despondent, Lars's head barely nods before he hops out the chair. He shoves his hands into his pockets, glancing in his mother's direction with a sad frown before looking at his dad. Lars and his dad exchange a few quick words in a language Sadie couldn't discern, though even her untrained ear could hear how clunkily the foreign words fell from Lars's lips in comparison the fluidity spoken from the lanky man's father. Lars nods again, glaring at the ground as he spins on his heels to stomp out the door.

Sadie silently follows him, surveying their surroundings with a bit uncertainty as she tries to recall if they're going the right way or not. But they find the elevator they had taken up from the ground floor soon enough. Sadie frowns as she watches Lars jab anxiously at the down button until the elevator doors slide open for them to enter. Once they're inside the lift, his fist slams against the G button. Lars slumps against a wall, his glassy eyes rolling up to glare at the flat light fixture acting as the ceiling.

"Hey, it'll… it'll be okay," Sadie whispers comfortingly, unsure what else she could say to help.

"You don't know that," he grumbles softly.

To that, Sadie sighs, shoulders deflating as she nods sadly for she truly didn't know. But she shrugs a second later, her hand finding his for what had to be the millionth time that day to give his fingers a reassuring squeeze.

"Yeah, but it'll be okay," she firmly repeats. "No matter what, I got your back. Okay?"

Lars nods in response, his heart swelling because he knows she means it. She'll be there for him, without fail, no matter what happens. That all too familiar warmth, thick and sweet as sap, floods his veins and he bends down to kiss her forehead without a second thought, his nose brushing along her hairline for a quick whiff of apples and cinnamon before he stands straight again.

"You're too good to me," he whispers sincerely. Her responding smile, so small and tender, is all sunshine. Even though he's staring straight ahead at the silver elevator doors, his periphery is blinded by its radiance. It melts away the cold dread icing over his heart and unsettling his stomach, if only for a moment. Lars finds himself bending down again to pull her into a tight embrace. His best friend. His lover. His Sadie… Even now, when he would like nothing more than to curl up in a ball and die, she makes him feel like life isn't a complete pile of shit. He presses an open mouth kiss onto her neck, and she holds him tighter. He loves her so fucking much. He kisses her neck again, and his heart is pounding painfully in his chest when her arms relax their hold on him. He takes a second to unsuccessfully steady his shaky breath, his forehead now resting on hers as his gaze pierces deep into her eyes. "Sadie, I… I want to be good to you too."

The heartfelt words are spoken softly, his quivering voice cracking slightly. The light warmth of his breath tickles her lips before he captures them in a tender kiss.

Sadie hums a blissful note of acceptance into the liplock.

There's a part of her that wants to tell him that he is good to her. In fact, Lars has been a better friend and person since the aftermath of Steven inhabiting Lars's body for a day. The bizarre event feels like a lifetime ago, and despite the venomous thoughts she had towards him yesterday evening that said the contrary… Lars isn't a heartless jerk. He's just struggling his way through life, and damn it all if she doesn't want to lighten the heavy load on his shoulders.

However, there's also another part of her, residing in the back corners of her mind, that tries to remind her of the countless times she's set herself up for heartbreak by overestimating his feelings.

But Sadie simply continues to kiss him back, clutching at his shirt in ardor as Lars's tongue glides over the seam of her lips. His fingers weave into her tresses, lightly scratching at her scalp. Her back is suddenly flat against the wall, and she's pleasantly sandwiched between it and Lars.

The elevator dings as to comes to a stop.

Reluctantly, Lars and Sadie pull apart just as the doors glide open. A small group of people nod and politely smile at them in greeting as they join them in the lift. Sadie waves back at them, while Lars stares straight ahead, trying his best to discreetly regulate his breathing. Lars keeps an arm draped around Sadie though, uncaring of how the strangers might perceive them as a pair for the rest of the silent elevator ride to the ground floor.

"I can spend the night again, if you want," Sadie quietly offers once they're in the parking lot.

Lars nods, thankful he wouldn't have to spend the drive back to their neighborhood trying to muster the courage to ask her to stay.

The second they're back in his room, Lars pulls her onto his bed, seating her on his lap and melding his mouth with hers in erratic kisses. He peels his underwear off her body, sighing blissfully when she nibbles on his lower lip while his hands slips back beneath her dress to squeeze the round globes of her rear. Her fingers massage his scalp. His mouth travels down the curve of her neck, and heatedly kisses his way back up to her sweet lips.

The day has left him a ball of emotions, and Lars honestly just wants to shut his brain off for a while. He also wants to thank her for being there today. And, after sitting around helplessly for most of the day, he really just wants to feel useful. So Lars rubs up and down the back of her thick thighs, lying flat on his red duvet before patting her bottom in that way Sadie knows all too well.

Sadie blushes, but she nods and shimmies up his torso.

His head now hidden beneath the skirt of her dress, her scent filling his nose, her honeyed juices coating his languidly moving tongue, Lars softly hums in delight as he lets himself drown in her.

And when she cums and becomes too weak to hold herself up, Lars gently maneuvers them so she's on her back with her dress bunched up under her chest. When Sadie tries to pull him up, intent on reciprocating, Lars shakes his head.

He kisses her inner thighs for a moment, sweetly caressing his warm lips along the creamy skin, before giving her over-sensitive bud his attention again. She moans his name, and it sounds so good to his ears she might as well be singing it. Her back arching and her hips squirming from his devoted worship, Lars's fingers sink into the cushion of her waist to help keep his mouth sealed on her as Sadie cries out in pleasure. He keeps licking and kissing and delving inside her, the tip of his tongue writing his full name in cursive within her folds, not stopping even when his jaw starts to hurt.

Lars groans. Her legs are tossed over his shoulders, his hands adoringly kneading her rump, lifting her slightly off the bed while he alternates from fluttery flicks around her entrance to laving the flat of his tongue over her clit in a rhythm that makes Sadie thighs clench and tremble until her entire body is thrashing.

Fully resting on the damp mattress again, Lars tentatively licks and suckles the delicate flesh of her pillowy nether lips until she calms down from her climax, only to delve his insatiable tongue back inside her.

After she cums the fourth time, a much more subdued version of the first three that's all gasps and tiny tremors shaking her thighs by his ears, Sadie tugs on his hair. His head tilts back in her grip, his glistening lips and lidded eyes divulging his desire to continue. Sadie weakly shakes her head. Breathlessly she tells him she can't take anymore. So he kisses up her belly, wiping her slick off his chin, and lays his head in the valley of her breasts. Sadie envelopes him in her arms with the last bit of her energy.

Lars falls asleep listening to her heart beat, murmuring unintelligible promises to an already snoozing Sadie that he'll always be there for her. He'll be good to her, the way he should have always been, because he loves her. Holding her close, consciousness slipping away from him in her warm embrace, he feels so stupid for ever denying it.

He loves her.

xxx

Lars takes off work for the next week.

During that time, Lars spends his days and nights with his dad at the hospital. Sadie texts him throughout day, doing her best to distract him with silly jokes and random anecdotes about that day's customers or some random thing that Steven has done or said when the boy stopped by the shop.

Near the end of the week, they play a game where one of them writes a phrase using only emojis, and the other has to guess what it says. It was rather amusing. They were able to waste a full afternoon on it, Sadie tittering to herself at the wild misinterpretations Lars sent her when he attempts to decode her messages. The game ends a bit abruptly, however, when Lars sends an eye emoji, a heart, and a smiley faced emoji girl with blonde hair. Sadie is certain he meant 'I love blondes', but the implication of the blonde girl being her still pops into her head. It makes Sadie feel all warm and fuzzy, like she's wrapped up in her favorite blanket.

She pretends not to see the text, though, waiting just long enough to text back with a change in subject so it wouldn't seem weird.

One night, they watch whatever horror movies play on cable networks. From her bundle of blankets and chewy candies in her dark room, Sadie texts him mocking observations about the characters and their dumb actions. Sitting in his mother's quiet hospital room, Lars doesn't make as many snarky remarks about the edited for TV film as he normally would, but he grins at each message he receives from Sadie. When midnight creeps up on them, Sadie sends him a goodnight text. He sends one back. Her phone buzzes in her hand before she's able to put it away when he sends another text. 'Happy Halloween btw.'

The day his mom wakes out of her coma, he calls Sadie to ramble excitedly for all of a minute before he says he has to go. He texts her sporadically throughout the day to relay her with the conversation he's had with his groggy mother, and then with what information he could gather from the chatter between the doctor and his father. All good things.

The night after, Lars is crawling through the basement window of her house. He's smiling wide when she nearly screams at his sudden appearance in her bedroom, and he narrowly dodges the stuffed animal she tossed at his head instinctively. Lars scoops her up in his arms merrily after snickering out an apology for spooking her, wasting no time in kissing her senseless and yanking off her pajama bottoms.

"I told my parents I was getting dinner," he chuckles a tad unevenly, thirty minutes later, still a little short of breath as he pulls his shirt back on. Lars almost looks shy when he turns back to see her watching him dress, her bed sheets wrapped around her still nude body. "But I uh...I really wanted to see you."

"I missed you too, Lars."

He grins sweetly.

"I gotta go," Lars tells her as he fastens his belt, leaning down to peck her lips goodbye. "We'll hang for real in a day or so if things stay good with my mom."

Sadie nods at his promise, chasing his lips for one more kiss.

"It will," she encourages him to believe. His little smile widens, his top teeth flashing pearly white before he gives her one more farewell kiss. Sadie watches as he goes to climb out her window. "Oh, and Lars? Don't forget to actually pick up dinner."

Lars's only response is a chuckle, the window slamming shut behind him.

And, true to his word, Lars texts her two days later asking if she wanted to go out. 'And wear the blue dress if ya want', he adds after she agrees to see him in a few minutes, 'cuz I owe you a date'.

Sadie stares at her phone, her insides instantly turning into a jittery mess before she shakes her head to snap out of it. Sadie sprints towards her dresser to get ready, mentally cursing at the pile of dirty clothes where her blue dress currently resides. It didn't really matter what she wore, Sadie reminds herself as she slips on black jeggings and a light sweater.

"I got it!" Sadie yells out to her mother when there's a knock at the door. Perhaps she rushes to the door a bit too eagerly, but at least she doesn't swing it off its hinges the way she wants to when she opens it.

Lars smirks down at her, as if her show of restraint by leaving the door intact did nothing to hide her excitement from him. But his eyes dart down almost immediately to her lips. A thrill shoots through her, and Sadie's arms lock around him the moment Lars leans down for a kiss. It's sweet. Tender. Lacking the urgent ardor of the last kiss he greeted her with, but no less passionate. It leaves her breathless when their mouths pull apart with a soft smack .

Lars stares at her for a second, watching her cheeks warm to a visible pink, before grinning at her.

"Hi," she titters breathlessly upon such a warm reception, shyly allowing her hand to brush his. He takes it without a second thought, large palm devouring her petite fingers. "Nice to see you remembered where the front door is."

Lars snorts, rolling his eyes at her teasing. "Like you didn't love me sneaking through your window like they do in the movies."

"Yeah, the most romantic of entryways," Sadie laughs as they walk down her driveway, brown leaves crunching under their feet. "Nothing creepy at all about a dude crawling in my window in the middle of night."

Lars sucks his teeth at that, but a playful smirk still tugs his lips.

"So how's your mom?" she asks after a beat, only realizing once their feet hit the cement of the sidewalk that he hadn't driven his scooter to pick her up.

"Better," he tells her as they start walking together towards town. His tone hints that he doesn't want to talk too much about it, but he remains cheery. "They think she'll be able to come back home soon."

"That's good."

"Yeah," Lars says before he clears his throat. Sadie watches his face pinch, clearly fighting to keep his emotions at bay. He shakes off whatever's clouding his brain. "But whatever, my baby. How was your week?"

"Pretty boring, honestly," Sadie admits with a shrug. It's also pretty taxing, doing all the shifts without him. "Glad you'll be back to work soon."

"Ugh, don't remind me," he bemoans, sagging down dramatically to lean his weight into her as if the mere mention of their job has drained him of energy. Sadie giggles, shoving him to stand on his own two feet, but he pulls her with him. Their sides collide, and they wobble a bit, causing them both to laugh as they settle back into a steady walking pace, only now Lars has an arm locked around her. "But honestly I'm kinda looking forward to work."

"Really?" Sadie questions, tilting her head back to look up at him incredulously.

"Well, no. Not really," he scoffs out laughingly. "But ya know, hocking doughnuts with you makes it feels like things are going back to normal. So it's like, whatever . The good whatever."

Sadie nods in understanding. They fall into a comfortable silence as they walk. The occasional shuffle of leaves, a chirp of a bird, and the distant sound of the tide hitting the shore acts as their background music on the quiet afternoon. It's nice. Peaceful even. But excitement is buzzing a bit too intensely through Sadie.

"So… Uh, this date?" Sadie carefully prompts, unable to stop herself any longer. Lars stiffens a bit beside her. She instantly wonders once again if his phrasing in the their text messages had just been a joke, but that beat of humiliating panic is obliterated when Lars nods and squeezes her shoulder. Sadie smiles, relaxing her gait before even fully realizing that she too had become rigid. "What exactly does it entail?"

"And give away the surprise?" Lars snorts. "Yeah, right."

"Oh, whatever, Lars." Sadie rolls her eyes, her smile widening at the playfulness that's creeping into his features. "You don't even have anything planned, do you?"

His cheeks grow warm, and he scoffs indignantly.

"Have some faith. Sheesh . Of course, I have something planned. First, a lovely walk around town," Lars states firmly, gesturing wildly around them as they reach the boardwalk.

"Because you forgot to charge your scooter again," Sadie points out, but Lars ignores this fact.

"And now we're headed to have lunch at the finest pizzeria in Beach City," he continues.

"It's literally the only one!"

"Pfft," Lars huffs and bends down to scoop up some leaves. Crumpling them in his fist, he tosses it up in the air like confetti, bits of red and brown raining down on them. "It's romantic as fuck, Sadie."

"My apologies," Sadie scoffs out a laugh, dusting the leaves out her hair. "Consider me wooed. ...Crap."

Lars halts in his footsteps the moment she does. Sadie sighs, rubbing at her left eye, and blinking weirdly. Lars' little smirk slips away.

"What's up?" he asks.

Sadie sighs, "I think a little leaf got in my eye."

"Aw, fuck. Sorry," Lars spews out quickly, his face cringing. "Let me see."

"I'm okay," Sadie tries to wave off his concern. But Lars still cups her jaw, tilting her head back. The thumb of his free hand gently sweeps over the lid of her eye before she opens it. He squints intently at her, his brows furrowing in concentration and creating that little crease in his forehead that always makes her want to giggle. He looks so serious, the deep browns of his eyes blending perfectly into the black irises, as he leans in close.

"Don't move," he instructs her, gently pinching at her lashes before softly blowing at her eyeball. Sadie blinks a few times, her eye watering just enough for a small tear to leak out. Lars thumbs it away, inspecting her eye for a few seconds more before nodding to himself. "There. All good."

"Thanks," Sadie murmurs sweetly. Her stomach is doing backflips at the gentle way his large, warm hands are cradling her face. It makes her feel delicate and treasured, like she's a fine piece of porcelain art.

Lars shrugs off her gratitude. His lingering hands still cradling her face, and he can feel her cheeks heat up when his thumb indulgently caresses the swell of her bottom lip. He watches, almost in a daze, as her lashes flutter at his touch. Her round eyes lock onto his, ever hopeful.

"Lars?"

His heart flits in his chest, while a shiver shot down his spine. The soft sound of her gasping his name always did something to him. Sadie stares back at him in mild bewilderment, and he can't help but smile down at her. I love you. I love you. I love you!

His lips part as if to vocalize those three little words bouncing around his head. A small clattering sound catches his ear however. With a blink, he turns to see Mr. Fryman hauling two bags of trash toward the dumpster. Remembering their surroundings, and realizing just how public their little display has been, Lars sharply shakes his head. This is so not the place to be all lovey dovey. Face red and breathing out a weak laugh, Lars lets his arms go limp and his hands fall away to be shoved into the pockets of his jacket.

Later, he mentally promises. Lars smirks at the thought. The moment they're alone, he'll love up on his girl. He starts to bend down, as if to seal the private declaration with a kiss, before once again remembering they're standing openly on the boardwalk.

"S-sorry," he sputters out, jolting back to stand straighter. His hand fidgets in his pocket for a split second before he fights through his nerves to reclaim her hand, tugging a slightly confused Sadie forward. "C-c'mon, I'm hungry."

As they enter of Fish Stew Pizza, bell ringing overhead, it's impossible to miss the chittering Cool Kids fill in the seats of a booth near the doorway. The merry group of teens smile brightly at Lars. The group, including a fourth person that Sadie has never seen before, waves the pair over.

"Lars! Sadie! Hi! This is my friend CC. She's visiting for the week," Jenny happily introduces the beautiful stranger.

"Hi," CC greets, the melodic cadence of her accent making even Sadie blush.

"Hey," Sadie and Lars both say, although Lars stutters over the simple word and speaks a bit too loud.

It still causes Jenny to coo and aww about how cute they are talking in unison and all. Lars blushes in response. Knowing Lars will want to pull away under the watchful gaze of the Cool Kids, Sadie lightens her hold on his hand in anticipation. Much to her surprise, however, their fingers stay intertwined.

Jenny scoots over and pats the cushion beside her. There's a brief second where Lars glances at Sadie, and she responds with a small smile and a shrug. Taking this to mean she didn't mind hanging with the group for a while, he nods for Sadie sit next to Jenny. The crowded booth doesn't have enough room for both Sadie and Lars, so he slips his fingers free from her grip only so he can grab a chair from an empty table.

"We're gonna give CC a tour of Beach City," Buck mentions casually. "You guys should tag along."

Sour Cream and Jenny nod in agreement.

"I'd love to get to know you better," CC adds, flashing Lars a kind grin. There's something familiar to Lars about CC's pouty brown lips and striking green eyes, but he can't place it. Regardless, he smiles back. "From what I hear, you're a bit of an enigma."

"Enigma?" Lars parrots back. CC nods.

"Mysterious," she reiterates. Lars beams, relishing at the idea of the Cool Kids viewing him in such a way. "As nice as these guys were at describing you, they couldn't really go too in depth."

"Oh," Lars responds, voice almost inaudible, the wind leaving his sails.

To this, Sour Cream and Jenny shrug a bit sheepishly. Buck makes a small humming noise that reads as him saying "sad, but true" . Sadie's shoulders sag, and she wonders if Lars will ever let his guard down enough to truly befriend Buck, Jenny and Sour Cream. It seems such a shame that he hides himself from them. Sadie discretely reaches in his direction under the table, palming Lars' knee. He stiffens in his seat when her fingers curl into the hole in his jeans to caress his skin. He shivers at the soft warmth of her touch. His eyes dart frantically around the table, and seeing no one noticed, his hand almost instantly covers hers.

"But that's okay," CC continues, her friendly grin turning flirtatious. "I like unlocking mysteries myself, anyway."

Lars blinks, dumbfounded. His deflating smile stays in place for the girl, unsure how else to respond. CC giggles softly, her dainty hand reaching out to fall on his arm to caress his bicep. CC then feigns a gasp, complimenting him on the bit of muscle tone there. Lars puffs out his chest, smugly accepting the praise as the conversation turns to his workout routine. His spiel is pretty exaggerated, if not an outright lie, and perhaps a tad boastful at parts - including an entirely unnecessary show of strength where Lars struggles to flex for the table.

Sadie frowns, rolling her eyes at the display. She tugs her hand free, and brings her it back to her lap. But the rest of the group listened, and made comments of how much effort goes into working out and how they should form a fitness group like the moms on television.

"It'll be hilarious," Buck's cool monotone declared, and Jenny laughs excitedly at the idea of wearing colorful spandex and leg warmers to jog around town.

Kiki swings by their table, conversing easily with her sister as she places a pizza the Cool Kids had apparently ordered onto the table. They all dig in, Sour Cream quick to invite Lars and Sadie to a slice. Causal chatter about their plans for the day fills the air between bites. Lars nods along, but eventually mutters that he and Sadie already have plans for the day.

"Oh, well, be sure to free some time for us," CC boldly states with a striking smile. "I'm only here for a little while."

"Huh? Oh. Um. Uh, sure," Lars sputters out. Sadie's frown deepens into a scowl, and she can feel her heart wilt as she slumps awkwardly in her seat.

"Ow!" Sour Cream suddenly exclaims, sending Jenny a harsh glare. "Why'd you kick me?"

"S-sorry! I wasn't aiming for you," Jenny apologizes, and she tosses CC a stern look. CC looks back in confusion. Sadie sighs through her nose and gets up, wordlessly walking towards the restrooms. Waiting until Sadie's out of earshot, Jenny exclaims, "cool it it, girl. Sadie is his girlfriend !"

"Oh!" CC chimes, apologetically inching away from him. "Sorry."

Lars just shrugs it off, not wanting to upset anyone or cause a scene. He simply takes another bite of pizza, doing his best to cool his features.

In the one stall bathroom of the restaurant, Sadie turns on the knob of the sink and washes her away the soap coating hands.

Just a bit of flirting. It didn't mean anything. He didn't even react to it it, really. But he also didn't turn that girl down either. And why should he? That girl is beautiful, and he's technically single and...

Sighing deeply, Sadie stares at her reflection in the mirror and frowns. She presses her damp finger to the smooth glass.

"This is stupid," she firmly admits. This whole predicament, this constant back and forth on where their relationship stands, is beyond stupid. She can't do this anymore, no matter how nice it feels to be in his arms or how much her hearts wants it. She needs to stop putting it off, because… Because… "I deserve better."

She turns off the water, inhales deep, and storms back into the dining area with her head held high. She knows what she has to do. So Sadie marches over to their table, ready to make a speedy exit with her so-called date in tow, only to be shocked upon finding the table empty of all it's occupants except Lars.

Before she could ask where everyone went, Lars stands up and explains that the trio plus guest had rushed off when Sour Cream's phone alerted them that the free concert at the park was starting soon.

"You okay?" Lars lifts his brow at her, taking in her clenched fist. Sadie nods. He doesn't seem to be fully convinced, but he still smirks at her. "Okay, so you were kind of right about me not planning anything in particular. So, uh… Wanna hit up Funland? The movies? We could also meet Jenny, Buck, and Sour Cream at the park," he tosses a few more suggestions her way, swinging his arm around her while they head towards the exit.

"Um, home?"

"Oh?" Surprise colors his tone, but he accepts her response without question. "'Kay."

They end up walking to Lars's house in silence, Sadie too frazzled trying to find a way to breach the subject weighing her heart to correct the misunderstanding. She had wanted to go back to her house.

They settle on the living room sofa, and he pulls up something for them to watch. She needs to say something. They need to talk. But her mouth refuses to form words. Instead she silently watches the television, even when Lars rests his hand on her knee.

His hand creeps higher to her inner thigh as the minutes tick by, however, and Sadie inwardly sighs.

"Lars, I…" She strengthens her resolve, lightly pushing at his wrist. "I don't want to do this anymore."

"Yeah," he agrees way too readily, with a casual shrug. Sadie can't help but feel a little miffed at that, even if he made this easier than she thought he would. But his hand is still lazily caressing her thigh. "Season two was a lot better."

Sadie blinks dumbly at his words, watching him pick up his game controller with his free hand. The show they've been watching pauses, and is replaced on screen by the browsing section of the streaming site they were using.

"They put up a new horror movie the other day," he suggests as he shuffles through the titles. "It's Japanese so there's a bunch of stupid subtitles, but I figure you wouldn't care as much."

"What? Lars, no. I -"

"Okay, okay. There is a dubbed version. But I think it would be too distracting," he tells her with a little smirk, hand shooting up to cup her sex, middle finger pressing enticingly against her slit through the thin layers of her leggings and boyshorts, causing her to gasp involuntarily.

Sadie blushes, and smacks his hand away. His smile disappears, confusion causing his eyes to squint. His head tilts down so they're more at eye level. But having his full attention, his dark eyes staring intently at her as his large hand hovers above her knee just enough to make him not touching her feel like a crime, is altogether too much. He's too close. Sadie scoots to the other side of the sofa, and takes a second to breathe.

"I don't want to do this ," she forces herself to say again, hand gesturing to the space between them.

Lars stares at her, a million emotions flashing in his eyes before he settles into a weak laugh.

"Oh, shit. Sorry. I didn't mean to just… I thought you were into it?" He cringes a bit, suddenly feeling kind of smarmy as his eyes dart to his offending hand before he shakes his head. "Sorry. We can just watch the movie. If you don't wanna do stuff now, that's cool."

"No, Lars. I mean, I don't want to do it at all ," Sadie reiterates, her voice growing softer when she tacks on, "Not anymore."

The hell just happened?

It's now Lars's turn to blink dumbly. He chews on his bottom lip, his brows knitting together until her nightmarish words fully register. He takes in a sharp inhale through his nose, his eyes closing as a wave of anger and festering insecurities crashes over him. Sadie braces herself for a scream that doesn't come, but she knows the question that comes hurtling tersely out of him before his mouth can even form the first syllable.

"Why not?"

Sadie glances away in response, her shoulders sagging with a light sigh.

When it started, Sadie really thought she could handle this type of relationship. It just made everything more painful, however. When she was secretly pining away for him for the better part of last year, at least she could put herself in check by separating what's real and what's just fantasy. The handful of times they had kissed beforehand were just isolated incidents, and easily explained away. But since their little arrangement, that line between feelings and reality became very blurred.

The emotional pingpong she's been through -from the very start of their friendship- has been such a strain on her. But there had been progression, tearful and heartfelt talks, and she also recalls the few times he whispered about feeling unworthy of her companionship.

She thought that maybe he had matured enough...That they both had matured enough that maybe this could develop into something worthwhile. However, maybe she's been deluding herself. Seeing other girls flirt with him, only for him to try and feel her up barely an hour later? What a load of bull! Lars could make her feel so treasured and special, and in a span of seconds he could also make her feel like hot garbage. And, frankly, she's sick of it.

"I deserve better than this," Sadie tells him. It doesn't come out as strong and empowered as it had when she declared it in front of the bathroom mirror, but the softly spoken words come out firm enough. "I deserve better than to just be your sex toy."

Lars's entire body recoils at that. The earth seems to slip off its atlas. His face gets all red, and he snaps up so his back is ramrod straight.

"Hold on, don't … Don't fuckin' say shit like that," Lars barely manages to say at a normal volume, through gritted teeth, his voice cracking. A pained expression marrs his features. His hands harshly fists the edge of the couch cushions. "You make it sound like I'm using you, and that's not fair. You… You… You agreed to this, Sadie. You said you wanted this too."

"I know. I did," Sadie sighs. Her anxious fingers nervously weave into her hair, getting caught in the tangle of curls. She has to yank her hand free. The slight sting from the tug on her roots is a welcomed distraction. Though it only lasts a millisecond.

"Then why?" Lars questions her again. "Why the sudden change?"

"It's not sudden..."

"Sadie, we just fucked like two days ago," he scoffs bitterly, and crosses his arms. When it's put that way, it does sound pretty sudden. So Sadie squirms in her seat, and shyly bows her head. Lars's face gets redder, and his eyes turn glassy. He scoots away until his back bumps into the armrest on the opposite end of the sofa. Lars glares at the wooden floor, refusing to look at her any longer. "So why? Did you… Did you meet someone else?"

The clear jealousy and hurt that wavered his voice causes him to frown at himself. But the absurd notion shocks Sadie into a short lived, manic laugh that has them both going wide eyed.

"Sorry, it's just..." she trails off, unsure how to explain the sudden outburst. Sadie shakes her head. "No, I haven't met anyone else. When would I have ever?"

"Then what?" he asks again, though relief softens the hard edges of his tone. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No. No, I just… Well… I want... I want more."

"More?" he repeats.

She nods, her gaze dropping to her hands nervously wringing themselves.

The little crease between his furrowed brows deepens as he thinks that over.

He… He kind of thought they had already stepped into the more territory. You don't snot all over a girl's top, and not feel a certain way as she holds you to her bosom. He had quickly realized that had been a mistake on his part just seconds ago when she announced that she's calling it quits. He shouldn't have assumed they were together just because she stood by him during this whole fiasco with his mom, and they had made love a few times. Hell, she probably didn't even see it as them making love. Fuck, he's such an idiot!

He briefly wondered if she had picked up on the shift and, with his mom being better now, she no longer felt guilty about telling him what's what. Fuck! She didn't want to be his girlfriend, and now she doesn't want to be his fuck buddy either.

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! He knew he wasn't good enough. He knew this! And yet, here he is, feeling like his chest is going to collapse in on itself because Sadie doesn't want him.

He's a miserable, useless waste of space that can't do anything! Why would she want to be with him? Except… There was something about the way Sadie had just explained it. The sad, longing tone she used… Maybe Sadie hadn't noticed the shift at all? Maybe she's actually open to the idea?

He sends her a hopeful look. She blushes, and his heart thumps. God be merciful.

"I… " Lars starts, meekly dropping her gaze. He swallows the lump in his throat. "I… We could try more."

"R-really?" Sadie blinks in surprise, staring at him with owlish eyes.

"Well, yeah ," Lars exhales, hand pushing back his curly mohawk. "Shit, Sadie. Ya gotta know that I lo... I mean… When I'm with you, I feel so… And you're so… I just… Um. "

"Lars?"

"Me being your boyfriend wouldn't be the worst thing ever," he blurts loudly, flushed cheeks burning painfully when he adds, "is what I'm trying to say."

Sadie frowns slightly, even as her insides flutter with joy. Lars dares a glance at her, his eyes gleaming with so much hope and longing that Sadie's head turns away in disbelief. She snorts, hand fisting back her own hair.

Wow. Had it really been that simple? Did all she really have to do is ask? Sadie finds herself laughing, tears springing to her eyes. This whole time, he's been willing and wanting it too.

Thinking about it, she kind of feels like an imbecile. It had been so obvious. And yet, here they are!

"God, is me being your boyfriend that stupid of an idea?" Lars softly grumbles as he listens to her shaky laughter. His heart is aching in his chest, his leg is bouncing as he caves in on himself. He wishes they weren't at his house so he could just leave. It's then that it seriously hits him that this is it. He'll have to quit his job, because there's no way he could deal with seeing her almost everyday after this. His guts twists. Fuck, he's going to miss her like crazy. He doesn't know why he even bothers to say it, but the words that just moments ago were stuck in his throat comes flying out of him. "I frickin' love you, Sadie."

"I know," she hiccups. Lars looks back up at her, the sting of her laughing at him is forgotten when he sees the steady flow of tears streaming down her cheeks. He moves towards her without thinking, cupping her jaw and thumbing away the damp streak from her flesh. Her eyes stare up at him in wonder, and her smile is pure joy despite her lips quivering. Another watery giggle bubbles out of her, and Lars suddenly understands it's not him she's laughing at. "I love you too."

"Shit, babe," Lars laughs, though it's more a huff of relieved air. "Don't scare me like that."

"D-don't call me babe."

They both let out breathy, elated chuckles. His forehead presses to hers, and their noses bump. It's then her words truly sink in, and his heart soars. A wonder filled smile stretches his lips from ear to ear.

"I love you," he whispers happily, because he means it, and because he really really wants to hear her say it back again.

"And I love you, Lars. I ...I have for a while."

"Yeah?" he asks softly, almost in awe. It just isn't possible. This can't be real.

"Yeah," she reaffirms with a soft laugh, her eyelids drooping. He grins wider, tilting his head and causing the tip of their noses to brush in a lazy Eskimo kiss. It's real.

"Me too."

Sadie's warm smile floods him with joy. Her fingers curl into his shirt, and she pulls him closer. Their lips come together, soft and tender. Lars sighs as if her kiss is the only thing he's ever wanted, and Sadie takes this moment to ardently slide her tongue against his. His arms lovingly embrace her, pulling her closer until she's almost on his lap. A rush of euphoria surges through them. She leisurely suckles his lower lip. His fingers thread through her hair. His lips wander down her neck, earning him little pleasured sighs, before returning to her mouth with growing ardor. It's all familiar, yet somehow new.

They soon lose themselves completely in the sweetest kiss they've ever shared.