Tap...tap...tap...is this thing on?
I know it's been a really long time since I've updated this, and I'm really sorry about that. I've had a lot going on since I last updated, I moved out on my own which has brought about a lot of it's own challenges. I also suffer from depression and anxiety and as a result of the move those seemed to go into overdrive. There was a few times where I thought I wouldn't be able to finish this chapter, and as you can see it took over 6 months to do so! But here I am. I'm back, and I have every intention of finishing this story. I don't have anything planned for afterwards, but I'm sure inspiration will strike when the time is right. I just cannot promise it will be Glee related. If you follow me on twitter, a poll will be up shortly. :)

Thanks for sticking with me!

Chapter 19
Finn woke up the next morning, and the first thing to hit him was the nagging pulse in his temple. The throb of the headache pounded between his eyes as he slowly sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the couch with an almost practiced precision. It took him a moment for his movements to catch up with his brain; this wasn't his room. He casted his eyes down to the carpet, and although he was already in an unfamiliar building, the flooring was even more out of reach. He squinted briefly in an attempt to brace himself against the pain of the headache that seemed to be increasing in intensity by the second.

Finn rubbed his temples in an attempt to ease the throbbing, to no avail. He cursed himself quietly for drinking as much as he did last night. He had been using alcohol as a crutch for years, and every morning after was just like this, usually followed by false promises to himself to never drink as much again. Not exactly the impression he had wanted to make on Harper, let alone the woman he had left all those years ago.

He looked up when he heard a quiet throat clearing. "Good morning," Rachel said kindly. "I hope the kettle didn't wake you. It's a lot louder than the one I have at home," she rambled.

He smiled tiredly as he nodded, "I didn't hear it at all," he offered. Rachel nodded. He tried not to stare at her, but even with as spacious as the suite was it was hard not to direct his gaze back at her. Finn couldn't help but note the differences in her he had been so blinded to yesterday. He had been so blinded by his anger, his surprise and his pure shock at seeing her after all these years; that he hadn't been able to just…look.

She was still very Rachel, very Rachel with her long brown hair, her wide brown eyes. She had washed her face and was without a stitch of makeup this morning, and in a blink…she was his Rachel. The Rachel he had run from. The Rachel he had left behind. Just, older but still almost frozen in time.

Finn blinked back the flashes of memories and steeled his features. "I should go," he cleared his own throat and coughed when he found it to be impossibly dry, thanks alcohol. "Sorry I crashed," he scrubbed the back of his head, musing his hair that was already screwed up from sleeping on the couch.

"It's fine," Rachel whispered. He noted the hesitation in her voice. "You weren't really in any condition to roam the hallways anyway," she sighed.

He nodded, a little embarrassed by the amount that he had drank last night, the way he had conducted himself. Finn stood to full height after a small silence formed between them. "Well thanks," he nodded softly.

Rachel bit her lip. She held the large mug of tea in her hands.

"So that's it?" she asked softly. "We're not going to talk?"

Finn stopped in his tracks. He had only gotten a few steps towards the door before her words stopped him cold. He turned towards her, only to find her once again with her lip between her teeth.

He may have been drunk last night, but he remembered the words that had spewed between them. He remembered the way she had cried, the way she had told him everything he had been afraid of, everything he had run away from. Everything he had done and been responsible for.

"Didn't we talk enough last night?" he asked, even though he was truly unsure of the answer. So many things had been said on both ends, and he was unsure where they stood; as people, as birth parents.

"I was hoping that we could talk while both of us were sober," she stated with a slight waver to her voice. "It's been 18 years Finn."

Truth was, Rachel had laid awake for most of the night while Finn slept on the couch. The entire day had been a roller coaster of emotions that were taking a lot to process. She had envisioned spending the day with her fathers, and never dreamed she would be confronted by her past, or meet her Harper. Thoughts of everything that had happened had replayed over in her mind like a film reel, and the most disturbing of all had been the exchange she had with Finn. The words and vague explanations had left an uneasy, bitter taste on her tongue and she felt like he owed her more.

"I know how long it's been Rachel, trust me," he answered quietly. The pound in his head throbbed as he tried to come to a decision, like a coin flipping continuously in his mind. "Don't you think we said enough last night?" he repeated his question from moments earlier, not sure if he was going to get a different answer.

"I just thought, maybe we shouldn't leave some of those ugly words on the table," she shrugged. Any sentimentality that Rachel felt moments ago fled as the final word left her lips. She sighed deeply before she took a long sip of her herbal tea.

Finn took his own deep, cleansing breath and tried to keep his emotions in check. He hated to admit it, but she was right. Now that she knew where to find him, and so did Harper for that matter- it would probably do some good to clear the air once and for all, without liquid courage.

"Lunch?' he asked softly. "You'll have to choose where though, I have no idea where's good," he rubbed the back of his neck.

"I know just the place," Rachel offered him a small smile. She grabbed her phone off the small table she had left it on and handed it to him. "Leave me your number, I'll text you where to go."

Harper sighed, and put her phone face down on the table beside her.

Scott and Diane looked at each other over their respective cups of coffee, sharing almost the same worried glance. Harper picked up her own mug, and took a long sip of the hot chocolate she had ordered to go with her omelette.

"He hasn't texted back, has he?" Scott asked carefully as he placed his drink down.

Harper shook her head.

"I haven't heard back from Finn since last night," she answered. She dipped her head down staring intently but blindly at the food on her plate. "Rachel either."

She paused a moment.

"Guess I wasn't what they expected."

"Harper," Diane chastised.

"What?" she snapped. Her chest heaved a touch, with the emotion of her feelings. "Why haven't they texted me, mom?"

Harper had dreams, and while yesterday was beyond her wildest imagination because of Rachel just appearing, she felt there was some unfinished business with them. And having not heard from either of them, her mind filled with doubts about whether yesterday had gone as well as she thought.

"Harper," Scott chimed in defending his wife. "Honey, we know you're disappointed, but you do not have permission to take it out on your mother and me."

She slumped back against the cushion of the booth.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled under her breath. Suddenly she wasn't feeling as hungry as she when they first entered the little diner next to their hotel.

Diane reached across the table and touched her hand gently.

"I'm sure there's a reason, sweetheart."

Harper slumped a little more, but allowed her mother's touch to comfort her.

Seeing that she was neatly pacified for even just a moment, both Diane and Scott returned to their meals. Harper started to pick at her own meal, not because she wanted to eat it, but because it seemed to be the only thing to do.

"You know, maybe it's for the best," Harper sulked, chewing on a piece of her omelette. "But I still can't believe I haven't heard from Finn."

Neither Diane or Scott replied, instead letting her air her grievances.

It was almost prophetic, as his name left her lips, it lit up the screen of her phone. Harper scrambled to grab her phone as she dropped her fork against the table top with a clamour.

Happy New Year, Harp. Hope you had a good night with your parents. Was all the text read, but it brought her an immediate wave of relief and her grin gave it away.

"Who is it?" Scott asked carefully.

Harper was just about to answer him when her phone vibrated once more. This time it was from Rachel.

Good morning Harper! Happy New Year.

Harper slumped against the booth, but this time it was in relief.

"Maybe they did like me after all," she mumbled as she quickly started to type back to them.

The deli Rachel chose for them was closer to the hotel than Finn thought. He followed the simple directions he found on his phone, which had him arriving at the deli a full 15 minutes early. He decided to wait inside the restaurant, rather than wait outside for her, given the fallen temperatures.
The small restaurant was impossibly warm, and he shed his coat almost immediately. His stomach growled as he uncomfortably looked around, a reminder that he hadn't eaten anything since he left her suite in the wee hours. He looked around to distract himself from the hunger pains as he waited. Along with a burst of cold wind came in Rachel.

"You're early," she commented taking a few steps to stand beside him. She put her suede gloved hands together and blew her warm breath over them.
Finn stuffed his hands in his pockets and gave her a small smile. He remembered that he was always the late one, back in high school.

"Yeah. Google," he chuckled. He pulled his hand out of his pocket and held up his phone.

"Shall we?" he gestured with the same arm to the tables he had just been debating over.

"We should probably order our food first," she chuckled as she took a few steps to the counter. Aside from them, the little restaurant was basically empty.

"Right," he nodded.

Finn followed her to the glass counter and listened as she flawlessly ordered some fancy kind of sandwich with extra avocado.

"Sounds like you've been here before," he mused.

He watched her smile and tuck a piece of fly away hair behind her ear.

"Just a few times," she chuckled. "What would you like? My treat."

"Um, I'll have the rueben on whole wheat," he ordered.

"And to drink?" the older man behind the counter asked.

"Oh," he chuckled. "Just a bottle of water is good with me"

Rachel walked the few steps up to pay for their food. He quickly caught up and produced a $20 from his wallet.

"I wasn't really going to let you pay," he chuckled forcing his arm over the counter in front of her credit card.

He heard her huff a little as she put her card away.

"Thank you."

He nodded, shuffling to the side, waiting for the food to be ready.

"Want to sit?" she offered, stepping back a little. He followed her lead in a move that felt eerily similar to another life.

Once they each settled in their seats at the table, a long moment of silence descended over them.

Finn folded his hands on the table a few times over in response to the discomfort of it all, but never managed to settle in a comfortable position. He finally shoved his hands in his pockets and rested against the back of his chair.

With each tick of the clock, Rachel wondered if this had been a good idea after all. She felt uncomfortable under his gaze, and watching him out of the corner of her eye told her he may just be feeling the same.

"How are your parents?" she asked quietly. The silence and unease were getting to her.
She watched as an uncomfortable flittering crossed Finn's features the moment the question left her lips. It was much the same reaction the mention of his mother had garnered yesterday.

Finn pulled his hands out of his pockets in response to her question, and once again rested them on the table in front of him. He used his thumb to brace himself against the old, textured table as he tried to formulate just how to answer the question.

"I-," he stumbled over his words, before glancing over at the counter to see if their food was ready. "I haven't seen my parents in a long time."

Finn grew more uneasy as he felt the stare of her brown eyes on him. He felt right leaving it at that, but when he looked up and met her stare, he knew the answer was not going to be enough for Rachel.

"Since I left you," he rushed through the words, the truth biting the air around them.

When he had run from Rachel, from the new reality that their baby girl (Harper) was placed with her adoptive parents, he knew he couldn't go back home. He knew there was nothing for him there. Finn knew his parents' opinion and he did not want to endure their disappointment in the choice he was forced to make. So, he had run. He bought the ticket to Oregon on a newly-opened Mastercard and ran away from everything in his life.

Rachel noted his unease, but she couldn't help but want to dig a little more. She chewed her lip wondering about the implications of what she was about to ask. From what she remembered Finn had always been close with his parents, his mother in particular. Rachel had fond memories of spending the evenings over at the warm house in the chilly evenings of the Ohio winters. She had fallen in love with his family as easily as she had fallen in love with him. And for a really long time she had included the two of them on her list of recipients for her holiday cards.

"They weren't very supportive of my life choices," he said as he traced his finger along a small crack in the table top.

Rachel recoiled, sat back in her chair slightly so her back was pressed against the metal bars. She felt daggers from his stare.

"But you were so close," she whispered. A wave of sadness overcame her as she tried to process the information she just learned. The puzzle she put together over the years was splitting apart at the seams, and she couldn't help but feel a touch of guilt at her part in all of it.

"Well, time and circumstances changed that, didn't they?" he retorted. "They weren't exactly throwing a party when I told them we were going to give Harper away."

"We didn't give her away," Rachel whispered. "We gave her a better life."

Finn sighed deeply. "I don't really want to talk about them," he shook his head as the counter attendant brought over their meals.

Rachel nodded her understanding as she looked at her plate. She grabbed her utensils and unfurled them from the napkin wrap they were housed in, mainly for something to do as her thoughts ran away from her. It hurt, to know the damage she had been a catalyst to. She steeled herself against those thoughts, because it wasn't her fault, though it was in her nature to think so.

"You were right," he offered after a few minutes of silence. She looked up from her plate to watch him swallow the bite he had taken. "This stuff is delicious," a smile returned to his features and in a moment, Rachel felt herself relax.

They sat at the deli a lot longer than Finn had anticipated. As they finished their meals, an ease fell over them. The animosity from the night before was slowly dissipating as Finn tried to listen with rapt attention as Rachel explained life in the city. He tried to appear interested, and he knew she was trying to make conversation but it was hard for him to focus.

"I'm sorry, I'm rambling a lot," she said as she reached for her glass of water that she had just requested. "I know it's probably really boring to you. You never liked the city. Why don't you tell me about Oregon?"

"What do you want to know?" he asked as his own hands wrapped around his coffee mug.

"What is life like there? Why did you stay there?" she inquired.

"It's quiet," he answered slowly. "It's kind of country, and you know, I'm a bit of a country boy."

Finn offered her a slow side smirk that was gone from his face as quick as it appeared.

"I have a house there. It's not much, it's small, but it's mine."

Rachel nodded. As he continued to describe what his life was like, down to the dog Harper had told her about yesterday, she couldn't help but be reminded that what he was describing was what he had always dreamt of. In their younger years they had shared their hopes, dreams and aspirations and while Finn had never had an end career in mind, he had always wanted the house with the dog. And at one time, she had thought she would end up where ever that was, with him. How wrong had she been?

"I redid all the floors myself. I learned everything from youtube and the guys at Home Hardware," Finn chuckled a little. "Kind of different from cars but I think they turned out alright."

He lifted his hand to brush the back of his neck as an embarrassed blush lit his cheeks. He tried to tamper the pride he felt, but it felt good to gloat for a moment about his successes and accomplishments; to someone other than some of his older customers that is.

"I'm sure they're done well," Rachel smiled softly.

"I think so," he smiled in return.

They walked back to the hotel together, the only sound between them was the solid crunch of the snow under their feet.

"When do you go back?" Rachel asked as the hotel's front door came into their view.

"In the morning," Finn answered quietly. "I have to get back to the shop."

Rachel nodded. "I'm out for another two days. I always take a few days around the holidays to just be with my fathers."

It was Finn's turn to nod. They approached the door and Finn reached for the handle to open it for her, gesturing for Rachel to go through.

"Thank you," Rachel offered him a smile as they made their way into the building. The instant warmth hit both of their cheeks instantly. Finn rubbed his hands together to get the heat to circulate through his fingertips. They both walked towards the elevator in a familiar sync, both reaching for the button in a coordinated fashion. Their fingers brushed for a moment on the metal feeling button, just as the elevator doorbell dinged to announce its arrival.

Finn jerked his hand away just as the doors opened; revealing both of Rachel's elderly fathers.

"There you are," Hiram smiled brightly. "Your dad and I were just heading to lunch, join us?"

Leroy nudged his arm gently. "And who do we have here?" Finn scratched his head as the two older men stared at him for a moment. "Finn Hudson, as I live and breathe."

"Hello sirs," he nodded. "Rachel, I'm going to go," he nodded to the elevator doors that were still open.

"Don't run away on our account," Hiram smiled. "It's been a few years, hasn't it, son?" he smiled. "What brings you to the city?"

Rachel cleared her throat, interrupting the string of questions. She had briefed them already, but she knew her fathers were nosy, and seeing them together in the foyer was probably doing a number on her fathers' radars.

"Daddy," she chuckled uncomfortably. "We just had lunch. Let him go." Finn nodded, taking the moment to escape through the doors that quickly closed behind him.

"Finn?" Leroy asked softly as the smooth sound of the elevator went up behind them.

"What about him?"

Leroy gave her a look. Being an only child meant she understood what every look meant, without a word being uttered.

"We just had lunch." Rachel avoided her father's eyes for a moment. "Why don't I come with you to lunch? I could use a coffee," she offered quietly. She knew they had questions, and part of her really just wanted to talk about what she had learned. Her fathers, even in their older years, were her best friends.

A long sigh released from Finn's mouth the moment the doors closed behind him. The instant security the doors provided him allowed him to finally allow his shoulders to drop from the stiff position they held. He hadn't been expecting to come face to face with Rachel's fathers, though he knew by now that they were staying here as well. Her Fathers had terrified him 20 years ago, and he was a little embarrassed to admit they still scared the shit out of him. He was sure they had their opinions about everything that had transpired between him and Rachel, and while the conversations he had with Rachel had done him a lot more than he had expected, he wasn't quite ready to face her fathers.

When he got to his hotel room, he noticed that housekeeping had been by. The bed was made, and there appeared to be fresh coffee and water on the small table in the room. He didn't have any plans for the rest of the day, and as he flopped on the bed he wondered if he should reach out to Harper and her parents for one more meal. He rubbed his eyes hard as the effects of an all-night bender and sleeping on a couch; not to mention the emotional toll of the last few days; seeped into his bones.

The dinging of his phone dragged him out of the quiet thoughts he was having, and with his eyes still closed he blindly reached for the ringing mobile.

It was Harper, as if he had willed it to happen, asking if he had dinner plans. Part of him wished he wasn't heading back to Oregon tomorrow morning. Though he loved where he lived, his little house and his little shop that made him so happy – he wished he could be closer to Harper. He made plans with her quickly, agreeing to meet her and her parents' downstairs at 5:00pm. He made a promise to himself in that moment that for this dinner, he would remain sober. Since it was his last chance to spend time with her for awhile – he wanted to be present.

Her parents had insisted on taking him to the airport the next morning, despite his protests. He could get back to the airport the same way he came, but they hadn't wavered. As they drove through the streets of New York toward the airport, Harper happily chatted beside him about the places they were passing, memories she had of specific events in her life that had taken place in the city. He smiled slightly at her incessant chatter, something he realized she shared with Rachel, who from memory, would chat about the most random things when she was nervous. It was so unlike him, who would stay quiet and stoic in the same situations.

"We'll do this again, right?" Harper asked softly.

Finn looked over at Harper, who in what seemed like a millisecond had stopped her chatter.

"Of course," he smiled softly. "You can't get rid of me that easily."

Harper sighed with relief.

"I know we didn't get a lot of time, but you have my number now and we can talk whenever you want. No more internet chats," he laughed softly.

Harper nodded. That had been her one fear, that now that they had met her – they wouldn't want a relationship with her. She had talked at length with her parents yesterday during lunch about how she felt, and while they had assured her that wouldn't be the case, it was good to at least hear it from Finn.

"Thank you," she whispered. "For coming out here and for telling me so much about you, and Rachel even. It's meant a lot."

It was Finn's turn to nod this time. "You've helped me too, even if you might not realize it."

Both Scott and Diane shared a look in the front seat but stayed quiet.

Finn walked into the airport, coming to a stop in front of the arrivals and departures screen. He told himself he was just checking to make sure his flight was on time so far. But as soon as his eyes laid on one particular flight and the information, he knew his decision was made. He turned on his heel with his rolling suitcase and back pack slung over his shoulder, and headed for the ticket counter to change his ticket for a new destination.