It all started because of a 'happy accident'.

When Trisha Elric tragically passed away, the ususal search for any living relatives that could take them in occured... And somehow, by what had to be sheer luck, Hohenheim's 'brother' was said to be living in Central.

Well, more specifically, underneath Central, but that was in the fine print.

To this day, it is still not quite known exactly how they managed to find the lair of the homunculi and their Father.

It is even less known how it was figured out that they were linked to the Elric brothers.

And only speculations can be made on exactly why anyone thought that letting the two boys be adopted by the homunculi and their Father was a good idea.

Father had mail. That in itself was odd. So odd, in fact, that he had gathered all of his children around so they could all stare at the envelope in shock.

"How did they even..." Lust trailed off as Father opened the letter, and frowned as he read it.

"Do any of you know the names Edward or Alphonse Elric?" He asked after reading the first sentence.

There was a long pause as his children attempted to remember the names of the people they had killed recently.

"Or Trisha Elric?"

There was an even longer pause.

"Ah, so they're his children."

"Because that clears so much up." Greed snapped sarcastically. "This whole thing makes no sense. Who the fu-"

"Watch your language Greed," Father said suddenly, tone cold. At that, all the homunculi frowned. Father never cared what they did... Unless Gluttony had eaten all the chimeras that guarded thier lair again. Then he cared.

"Edward and Alphonse Elric are two young boys that recently lost their mother. It appears that we are their only relatives since their father left a while ago."

At this, Envy could only splutter. "W-what? We're related to these two random kids?"

"How?" Lust demanded.

Pride merely narrowed his eyes.

"Through their father, you know, Van Hohenheim. And we're taking them in because they have nowhere else to go."

"Oh."

There was a long pause.

"Do we have to?"

Father suddenly beamed. It was scary. "It would annoy Hohenhiem. So yes."

"Brother, have we ever even heard of these people?" Al asked timidly.

"No. No we haven't. Either the bastard just never told us, or... Long lost relatives?" Ed shrugged.

"I still can't believe that we're going to Central... It's so far away." Al whimpered. Ed hugged his younger brother as Al began to cry.

"I know Al... At least we'll still have each other."

"Y-yeah... Do you think they're nice?"

"I hope so!"

"Someone needs to go and collect them." Father informed his children. "They live in Reesembool."

"Well, I'm sure as fu-"

"Greed!"

"Sorry," the homunculus reluctantly corrected himself. "I'm not doing it."

"Who?" Gluttony asked cluelessly. "Can I eat them?"

"No... What about Sloth?"

His only response was a snore.

Pride sighed. "Why even ask him? It can't be me. I can't really travel with my vessel. Too many questions."

Wrath shrugged. "I need to get back to the military soon anyway."

Father was rapidly running out of options.

"Envy?"

Envy whistled innocently. Father sighed.

"Lust... Just please..."

Lust sighed. "Fine."

Ed and Al stared up at Lust.

Lust stared down at them in shock. They did look a lot like Father. They also looked like very, very sad children.

Well they had just lost their mother.

Contrary to popular belief, the homunculi weren't emotionless. They weren't born cruel, even if they embodided sins. Because after years and years of trying, they'd learned to be human, even if just a little.

And...

"At least act normal around them."

Granted that Father's statement had been directed at the likes of Envy, Greed and Pride, but she had no doubt that he would be annoyed if she accidently traumatised the children they would be raising.

So Lust smiled as she looked at the boys. "Hello," She said as kindly as she could. "I'm..." Well, they were coming back to the HQ, so she may as well be honest. "I'm Lust. I'm your cousin." That was what was on the papers, apparently.

"I'm Edward." The older one introduced himself with a nervous smile.

"And I'm Alphonse." The younger boy smiled even though he was shaking.

"You two don't need to be so nervous." Lust laughed, hoping that she didn't terrify the children any more than she already had. Father would kill her. "We're family!" Crap, she really didn't know how to deal with children. At all...

Still, it was better her than Envy, or Greed. She almost shuddered at the thought of either of those two being near impressionable children.

Especially the two innocent, golden eyed children staring at her with something like hope in their eyes.

They took the train to Central because it was the fastest way there. The boys didn't have much luggage, only two suitcases between them. They were, however, surprisingly heavy.

At her questioning glance they boys laughed sheepishly.

"They're alchemy books."

What? The boys knew alchemy? Weren't they a bit young for that?

Well, if nothing else, this was sure to be interesting.

By the time they arrived in Central, it was late at night. The boys could barely walk straight, let alone carry their bags.

Lust sighed, and took the bags from them. "We're nearly there. Don't worry."

Ed yawned. "Good."

"Brother!" Al yelped, though it looked like he agreed with Edward.

Maybe it was a good thing they were tired, since they were then too sleepy to so much as raise an eyebrow as she lead them pass the chimeras into their HQ.

Thankfully, their rooms were normal, and the two collapsed onto the beds. She put the cases down and shrugged.

Well, they were here in one piece and not traumatised. Success then.

"Well Lust, did you collect the boys?" Father asked with some mild interest as he turned a page in the book he was reading.

"Yes." She made a show of inspecting her nails. "They're sleeping."

"What are they like?" Greed asked, sounding bored.

"Quiet... Probably because they're greiving. Oh, and they know alchemy."

The book snapped shut. "Oh? That's interesting. They really are Hohenheim's kids... Hmm... I take it that they're still learning, naturally. They will need teaching in all aspects, actually."

The seven homunculi suddenly all had a very bad feeling.

"Guess what? You all have a new job!"

"What the f-"

"Greed!"

Once again, Envy whined. "Do we have to?"

"Yes." Father smirked. "Those boys are family. Treat them like you would each other... Well, if you couldn't regenerate... Am I clear?"

Whether they sounded reluctant or just plain bored, all the homunculi agreed to at least try. They'd done worse on their Father's orders.

And well, these kids were family. If there was one thing any of the homunculi valued, it was blood and family.

Hohenheim was going to be so pissed!

The next morning, Ed and Al decided to explore, as they hadn't been given a tour, no one had come to check on them and they were bored.

"Do you think we're meant to be doing this?" Al asked curiously.

"Probably not." Ed shrugged. "But it was either that, or stay in the room and re-read a book."

"Good point."

The corridors were weird- and cold. There were pipes running along the sides... Was that normal? Was it something that people in Central did? (Well, Reesembool was pretty rural...)

Ed highly doubted that.

In fact, he had a sneaking suspicion that...

They rounded a corner, to gain full view of a large room where the floor was crossed with pipes, all leading up one chair.

On said chair- or was it a throne- a man that looked exactly like Hohe- that bastard (and it was Pinako that taught him that word, so she couldn't very well tell him off for using it) sat reading a book, looking bored and ingoring the general chaos around him.

Said chaos consisted of a stange man with what looked like a feather boa on his jacket pulling ... a palm tree's hair while said tree screamed like a little girl and attempted to punch the one with the sunglasses.

Lust would have looked dignified, if not for the chubby person whining and tugging her sleeve like a child.

There was a sound like thunder- the large man snoring.

And a child was face palming... With what looked like shadowy faces consisting of razor sharp teeth and glaring red eyes doing the same with their tiny claw-like hands.

Ed slowly turned to his brother, and spoke with a voice filled half with impressed awe and half complete and utter horror.

"We are related to some weird people."