Respect the Rainbow Propeller Hat of Doom

SUP BITCHES?!

….I'm just kidding. How's it going my peeps, I'm coming at ya with content fresh off the press!

I just noticed that we have a whopping 137 Favs and 126 Follows for this fic and it made me so super FRICKIN happy that I was in a mood to type!

I like to thank the following for leaving a review: Percy-Jackson2004, Raxacoricofallapatoreous, Kurosaki Yukia, brookeyy14, CRUDEN, and Dragonette718.

I love talking with and receiving feedback from my readers :) Thank you.

I do believe a disclaimer is in order: DearlyFictitious does not own the Percy Jackson series or anything Marvel related. This was written purely for entertainment and no money was made off this.

The following storyline was brought to you by three hours of sleep and 2 pots of Highlander Grogg coffee. Lol this also wasn't proofread, like, at all so #NOFILTER!

Bruce Banner took a sip from his chamomile tea and inhaled it's sweet notes with pleasure. So far today had been a good day. He woke up at seven A.M. to a lovely plate of raspberry stuffed french toast, went on a light morning jog in the indoor gym, spoiled himself with a nice long bathtub soak, and managed to solve another pesky equation!

This morning had definitely been a good start, a nice and very welcome change from his past starts. He took in the scene before him and smiled faintly, listening in to the wonderful sounds of agony and humiliation.

"Aaaaauuugh!"

Yup. Just another day of team building exercises.

Clint Barton stood on a platform with his chest puffed out, geared up in bright red 1980's gym teacher shorts, complete with long white crew socks, eyeing his victims underneath the brim of his hat.

"Stark! Drop and give me eighty !"

"Oh c'mon!" he wheezed out, "I just did thirty chin ups!"

"No sass from you today mister!" he jumped off the platform and planted his feet between Tony's shoulder blades, making him eat floor, "Push ups!"

"Hrrrggghhh"

He zeroed in on a red faced Jason, "Grace! There's nothing amazing about those splits of yours, go lower!"

Jason trembled a foot off the ground, sparks danced across his clammy skin from the strain, "You gotta be kidding me, my scrotum is screaming at me right now."

"No excuses boy, drop it like it's hot!"

The Son of Jupiter whimpered and looked ready to cry.

Bruce was trying his best to smother his laughter behind his hand, but it was no use. This was definitely his favorite day of the month.

Drill Sergeant.

The team had their usual regulatory group exercises weekly, but they all agreed that sometimes you just needed to push others past their limits and let your sadistic side run loose.

The idea came from constant bickering during the specialty drills where they'd focus on their fields of expertise; they'd argue back and forth and how to improve their special killer moves in the best way possible and end up in fist fights with one another.

Tired of the constant interruptions during their exercises, Steve had them all get together and resolve this issue in the living room one night. It was Tony who suggested that once a month one of them would play the role of drill sergeant and dictate the hour. The vote was unanimous and it had started out quite tame, the golden rule was that whatever happened during that hour, stayed in the that hour; absolutely no grudges allowed outside of the drill.

Well, Natasha found a loophole...the golden rule stated 'no grudges outside of the hour' so, what would happen once they revisited that hour next month?

The grudges came back with a vengeance and reincarnated within the next person playing the role of drill sergeant.

Somewhere along the line, it stopped being an improvement exercise and warped into a full on sadism flex.

This month was Clint's turn, and Bruce, like every other month, was glad that he was exclusively excluded from this activity.

Said archer marched towards Natasha, who was currently doing a one-handed handstand while balancing a stack of weighted discus' on her feet, and tsk'd at her dismal target practice.

"Romanoff! You call that a headshot?" he taunted while poking her ribcage.

The gun in her shaking hand twitched in his direction, "Maybe if you stood in front of the target I'd have better luck."

" I could shoot that target dead ten times over with my head up my ass!"

"That can be arranged." she growled.

The archer stood over her pompously, "Exsqueeze me? Who's wearing the hat here? That's right, I AM!"

Oh yeah, the drill sergeant also had to wear a rainbow propeller hat in order to assert their dominance. If you asked any of them when and why that tradition started, none of them could ever hope to give you an answer.

At that moment a loud thud sounded from the other side of the room and two squawks of pain could be heard from a tangle of limbs.

"I blame you Thor." Steve wheezed in between gulps of air, his forehead pressed deep into the yoga mat, "Did you have to keep your shoes on?"

"T'was your unsteady legs that brought us this misfortune." Thor hissed underneath his breath.

The buff blondes had attempted and failed a yoga boat pose and somehow a foot from each of their poses slipped in between their legs and heel drop kicked each other in the crotch.

Clint skipped over and placed his hands on his hips, "C'mon ladies! Yoga can't be that hard."

Both heros on the floor were unwilling to admit it, but even being at the pinnacle of strength and fitness, their solid bodies were as malleable as an iron post.

"Clint." Steve tried to reason, "Perhaps we could try another pose-

"NAY!" blurted Thor, his deep voice a few octaves higher than usual, "We shall suCCEED AND CONQUER THIS STANCE!" he then grabbed a miserable Steve by his highlighter leggings and hauled him back onto the mat.

Clint stood back and observed his work. An evil smile graced his face as he watched Tony struggling on his 28th push up; last month the stupid billionaire made him answer trivia while target practicing and every time he answered wrong a 'light' shock would course throughout his body. By the end of the exercise he was a twitching mess!

He walked over an knelt next to Tony, "Hey Stark, you know what'd make this better?"

After completing his 30th push up, he blinked the sweat out of his eyed and growled, "Oh, do tell Tweety."

Without breaking eye contact, he called Jason over, "Hey Grace c'mere a sec!"

Hobbling over, Jason collapsed on his butt with his legs tucked under and squeaked out, "What now?"

"You can take a breather on those splits." he took sick pleasure watching his hopeful expression fall at his next sentence, "You can help Tony here instead! For every second he takes too long on his push up you'll have to do ten squats."

"Gods no…" his legs were already on fire!

Tony gulped at the murderous expression directed at him from the young Sky Prince.

The archer walked away cackling at the sound of Jason's shouting and sauntered towards the other demigod in the room.

"Jackson!" he barked, "You trying to jump rope with that silly string?!"

Startled, the water in the Sea Prince's hand lost its shape and splattered everywhere.

"Percy!" complained Natasha from the other side of the room.

"Blame Clint!" He narrowed his eyes in the archer's direction, "You need something, gymshorts?"

Proudly, Clint hiked up his bright red shorts and belted out his order, "Get into position."

Percy groaned, but did as he was told.

He lifted the water from the floor and nearby jugs and formed a sphere in his palm. His eyes bore holes into Clint's figure as he waited silently for further instruction. The smirk on Clint's face was nearly enough to break his already wavering patience.

Bruce saw the impending disaster and wisely made his way out of the room.

"Alrighty then." he prowled around him, assessing his stance to some unknown form, "From the top."

Giving him the stink-eye, Percy did as he was instructed and started to twirl the massive water whip around in a circle. "How's this Mr. Bossy?"

"Too limp, go faster."

He went faster.

"More pizzazz!"

He added more 'pizzazz'.

"I wanna see you nae nae that water whip you hear me!"

Percy fell over in exasperation, the water in his fist losing form and splattering around him, "The hades does that even mean!?"

"The fuck if I know!" he snorted, "Alls I know is that it looked like shit. Do it again!"

He finally stopped in front of Percy just as he looked at though he would explode, "Stop waving it around like a sissy and whip it like you goddamn mean it."

The look on the demiteen's face could've curdled milk, "You son of a-

"WHIP IT!"

Whatever composure Percy had left completely evaporated and with an incomprehensible war cry the whip in his hand had collected all the surrounding liquids, from the water pipes to the sports drinks in bottles, and formed a massive water cyclone!

Steve, in the middle of attempting a super soldier pose**, paled when he saw the massive structure, "Holy…"

"Is this a challenge?!" demanded Thor.

"Clint you idiot!" wailed Natasha

"Perseus Achilles Jackson don't you dare!" shrieked Tony.

"Dude!"

"ASDFJKLFAFLFSA;FLJLAF!"

And with a mighty heave, the Sea Prince unleashed his icy funnel of doom on the inhabitants of the room, and Clint was the unfortunate soul front and center.

He stood there dumbfounded as it approached him,

"Oh, mama."

o0•LineBreak!•0o

From the safety of the landing above the gym, Bruce whipped out his phone as the doors of the room flew off their hinges and released its contents.

First out the doors atop of a foam platform was Tony who's hand was outstretched towards a drowning Jason.

"Sparkles! Grab onto me and don't let go!"

"Why on earth would I let go?!"

And like that they continued down the hallway.

Next was Thor who was swimming downstream with vigor while Natasha clutched his back for dear life. "Ha! Take that treacherous waters! I wilL OVERPOWER YOU!"

"Focus on the swimming meathead!" reprimanded the spy.

Following closely after was Steve who had a death grip on a yoga ball muttering, "IpledgealleigancetotheflagoftheUnitedStatesofAmericaandtotheRepub-"

Last but not least came Percy who was using Clint as a surfboard, making sure to bump into every single wall and object on the way out, "How do you like me now?!" he bellowed with his fists in the air, "SURFS UP!"

Percy's five minute thrillride of terror included, but was not limited, to wall bashing, furniture hopping, stair sliding, head ducking, flickering lights, and screaming; the whole team's final destination was the main lounge where Bruce, waiting patiently, had somehow known they'd end up there.

After a moment of deathly silence, Steve was the first to recover and greedily gulped air into his battered lungs,

"JUMPING JEHOSHAPHAT!" he exclaimed, "Is everyone alright?!"

"Define alright." grumbled Natasha next to a delirious Thor. "How you doing over there Tony?"

"Just peachy." he moaned back in pain, "It's not as though I just shaved ten goddamn years off my lifespan!"

While the adults in the room were doing self assessments, Jason waded through the shallow water and stopped in front of his fellow demiteen who was sitting cross legged on the surface of the steadily draining water.

With shaking limbs, he got on all fours to look him straight in the eyes, "Percy...what in the actual fuck?" he demanded.

Looking quite embarrassed, the Sea Prince scratched the back of his annoyingly dry head and said, "Yeah...I might've gotten a bit carried away."

"You don't say?" the Sky Prince quipped back sarcastically.

A heartbeat of tense silence passed and Percy sighed heavily, "You okay man?"

One look into those Baby Seal Eyes™ and Jason suddenly couldn't find it in him to stay mad at his bro anymore, "Yeah, I'll live." he glanced over to the other Avengers, "Tony's gonna give you hades the next time he's the Drill Sergeant though."

Percy paled, "I am so dead."

Just as the team gathered their bearings, Steve did a head count and started to panic.

"Where's Clin-

"Kyaaaaaaaaaah! Tony why is there a dead body in the hallway?!" screamed Pepper.

Tony facepalmed, "Found him."

The the sea is rebellious and doesn't like to be tamed Clint.

Lol don't worry folks, Clint's not dead! He's just not very responsive right now... or breathing…...okay, maybe someone needs to perform some CPR asap!

Ahem! Anyways, this chapter was so much fun to write and I hope you peeps enjoy it! And yeah, that ** Super soldier ** pose? Look it up, it's real and I couldn't resist using it :D

But for real though, I need help with Percy and Jason's Hero names! Otherwise I'm gonna give 'em something only half fitting! And at this point Tony's gonna end up giving them their names!

Leave your suggestions and prompts in the REVIEWS and I'll see you next time!

~Loveandhugs from me! DF