A/N: *stares at fic* It got… really long. I've made a monster…

Length aside, I had a lot of fun writing this because despite the slight angst, it's utter crack. Really. I mean it. Don't take this seriously. This is pure indulgent love after reading so many warring clan fics. This is already complete and I'm just dividing it into chapters.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Naruto. They are owned by J.K. Rowling and Masashi Kishimoto respectively.

Pairings: Hashirama/Hikaru (fem!Harry), slight Mada/Tobi, slight Touka/Izuna

Ages at the start of the fic:

Hashirama, Madara, Mito- 27

Izuna, Tobirama, Touka- 25

Hikaru- 21

…

Hashirama walks face-first into a wall at the sight of Uchiha Hikaru.

He flushes, stands upright, and pretends to be very interested in the wall he just smacked his head on while the rest of the people around him mimes not seeing the prestigious Senju clan head flail in public.

Mito laughs, being the cold unforgiving woman she was, and slinks to a flushing Hashirama's side with a huge grin on her face.

"Lovely, isn't she?" she drawls, and there was a catlike aura of satisfaction on her face that Hashirama struggled not to give her more ammunition damn it. Touka already gave her his baby pictures as blackmail, what more does the redheaded harpy want?

"Yes," he blurts out in defeat.

Mito smirks. Hashirama mourns the fact that he was such a pushover when it came to the women in his life.

"You know that attitude of yours is half the reason why I'd never marry you." He mutters, glaring at her.

"Oh yes, and the other half is that you're completely gone for Madara's little sister. Face it. You're dead, Senju." Mito said with a little cackle in the end and Hashirama wishes that glass would break on cue at the sound.

Instead, he ignores her and stares at the being that caught his attention, eyes soft and wistful.

…

The Uchiha clan's best kept secret was not the inner workings of the Sharingan nor the stone tablet hidden beneath the clan grounds.

It was the existence of one Uchiha Hikaru that the world had absolutely no knowledge about. Even most of her clansmen had no idea that she existed until she appeared on the battlefield.

Hikaru was the results of a one-night tryst, her parents brought together by grief and misery. Uchiha Tajima recently lost his wife and unborn child and Uzumaki Haruka had just received word that her husband died in a skirmish against a clan from Kiri.

The young Uzumaki woman took solace in the same tavern where the Uchiha clan head was stopping for the night. They ended up together after one too many drinks. It was meant to be a fleeting thing, never to be repeated, but that single night had brought forth a bastard child.

Tajima did not learn of his daughter's existence until Haruka died when the girl was three. He demanded his child from the Uzumaki clan head, who was also Haruka's older brother. The clan head acquiesced upon young Hikaru's own request to meet her father.

Tajima was a distant figure to Hikaru, especially when it was clear that she did not possess the Sharingan. The girl was obviously his child, having the pale skin and hair of an Uchiha and the features of Tajima's mother, but the Uchiha clan head saw no use in his youngest child.

She was a daughter and was of no use in the battlefield. She was good for a betrothal but nothing more than that.

His sons thought otherwise.

Madara and Izuna loved their little sister fiercely and after losing three siblings, they were not taking any chances with Hikaru, who was a girl on top of being their youngest.

They coddled her, forbidding her from leaving the compound despite her protests. To them, Hikaru fighting was not an option, and there was no need for her to dirty her fingers when Madara and Izuna was all too willing to do it for her. And so they kept her behind closed doors even when their father died, trying to keep Hikaru entertained with gardening or reading books sent by the Uzumaki clan.

(They didn't know that Hikaru was fighting as well. The reincarnated witch disliked senseless killing, but she could protect.

She put the Uchiha compound under a modified Fidelius charm, preventing anyone who meant ill will to find the place.

She learned healing and augmented it with her magic. She combined runes with fuuijutsu, keeping the clan safe while her brothers went out to battle.

She would find stray children around forests and lead them back to their clan. Hikaru didn't care if they were Uchiha, Senju, Hyuuga, or from any other clan. They were children, and they did not understand true war.

She gave Madara and Izuna little trinkets that her brothers indulgently carried around with them, a tiny gunbai for Madara and a kodachi for Izuna. Only Hikaru knew that the trinkets carried a protective rune and served as portkeys, alerting her of her brothers' wellbeing.)

It all came into a head when Tobirama fatally injured Izuna in battle, slicing through his abdomen with a wound that no medic could possibly heal. Madara had rushed to his injured brother in terror, yelling at Izuna to hold on while trying to stave the bleeding with trembling hands.

It was inevitable— it was clear to all that Izuna was slowly dying from the wound. But then a flash of bright light erupted from the tiny kodachi necklace Izuna was wearing and a lithe figure appeared beside the Uchiha brothers.

Before anyone could react, golden chakra was pouring out of the stranger, directing it at the injured Uchiha's wound. Everyone watched in shock as the fatal stab slowly closed and Izuna's pallor returned to normal in a few seconds.

After a quiet stillness, the golden chakra dissipated. Madara's relieved expression transformed into a frightening snarl of rage as he pinned furious eyes at Tobirama. The Senju tensed, only for the black-haired girl to grab Madara's hand, the one reaching for his blade.

"Enough, nii-san." she said softly. "Please. For Izuna-nii."

Those words were enough for Madara to hesitate and loosen the grip he had on his weapon. Then the Uchiha head sighed, closed his eyes, and turned his back on Tobirama, prompting everyone, Uchiha and Senju alike, to slowly drop their stances and weapons.

Everyone was tired.

They wanted peace.

A month later, a Senju envoy came to the Uchiha compound bearing a message of truce.

…

"Congratulations on the creation of the village, nii-san. Hashirama-san." Uchiha Hikaru said, smiling at the two clan heads. Then her eyes turned playful. "I hope this means you get to let me out more."

Madara laughed and ruffled his sister's hair, not noticing the way his best friend was staring at Hikaru helplessly.

Hashirama couldn't help it. The youngest Uchiha was entrancing.

Hikaru was, in Mito's words, lovely. Stunning, beautiful perfection. The Uchiha clan was known to have good-looking people in their family, but there was something about Hikaru that made her stand out amongst her clansmen.

Hikaru was small and lithe and had the smallest dimples whenever she smiled. Soft black curls spilled on her shoulders like a messy waterfall and her skin was the palest snow. But what Hashirama was truly lost in was Hikaru's lush green eyes, the color of the brightest leaves in spring, reminding Hashirama of the colors of his beloved Konoha.

Hashirama knew he was spewing out the words of a besotted idiot but it was an apt description for him right now.

"Maybe it'll go away," he moaned at Touka one evening. "It's just attraction, right? It's just temporary, right?"

"If you say so, clan head-sama." Touka rolled her eyes as she sharpened her kunai. "Why don't you test that theory? Sleep with the baby Uchiha-hime and maybe it'll go away."

Hashirama reddened and his faced morphed into a scandalized expression, like Touka had just volunteered to cut all the trees in the world with a blunt machete.

"Impossible! I won't do that! Hikaru's innocent! Too young! I'll break her heart!" Hashirama sputtered. "And Madara would kill me!"

"I find it interesting that you care more for the baby Uchiha's feelings than the fact that Madara would literally gut you if you went near her with impure intentions." Touka drawled.

"Well, I don't want her upset!" Hashirama slumped, eyes turning miserable. "I'd rather have Madara angry at me than make Hikaru sad."

Touka stared at her cousin blankly.

Holy shit.

This wasn't just some stupid urge of Hashirama's. This was real.

And Hashirama hadn't even properly met the baby Uchiha-hime yet.

Touka snorted. Figures. Her wishy-washy cousin seemed like the type to fall in love at first sight.

Then she smirked. She wondered what Mito and Tobirama thought about this.

…

The Uchiha clan members stared at the beaming, little green-eyed one. Behind Hikaru, Madara and Izuna loomed at the all menacingly. They blanched.

"So… um, Hikaru… hime?" One of the elders squeaked, flinching when Madara's eyes narrowed at him. "You… uh, want the new Uchiha compound built in the heart of the village?"

"Yes," Hikaru said cheerfully. "I heard some of you saying that you want to build it in the west, but that would isolate us from the village, ne? That just wouldn't do."

"But Hikaru-sama!" Another man stuttered. "We'd be lowering ourselves with the other clans! The Uchiha are the founding clan of the village and people ought to remember that!"

"And people will remember that because we'll be there to remind them. We're not lowering ourselves, we're showing the people that we're approachable and likeable despite being nobility." Hikaru said with a sweet smile. Pander to their ego and slowly steer them to the direction you want without being blatantly obvious. Hikaru learned how to spin aristocracy around after a lifetime with purebloods.

"But what about the Senju? They built their compound to the east, far from the village proper!"

"That's because the forest is there," Hikaru said. "Hashirama-sama is fond of nature, so building the Senju compound is out of personal preference. But we don't have any other reason to build our compound in the west other than wanting to look superior. We already are, so why does anybody need more reminding of that?"

Mumbles around the room. In the end, they decided to build the Uchiha compound near the village, because Hikaru-sama did have a point, didn't she?

Plus, Madara-sama and Izuna-sama looked inches away from brandishing their weapons at their heads.

They wanted their bodies intact, thank you very much.

…

The margin of vote was very close but in the end, Senju Hashirama was appointed as the Shodaime Hokage of Konohagakure.

Madara was inwardly sulking at that. But then again he didn't feel too bad; the numbers were almost neck to neck. He was satisfied that he was just a few votes away from Hashirama and would've had a good chance of winning the title of Hokage. It was just a few tens of votes that made the difference.

And besides, Hikaru pointed out that he wouldn't want to be stuck in a day job behind a desk sorting out paperwork anyway.

"You could hardly sit still in a meeting with the elders, nii-san." Hikaru laughed. "You mostly glare them into submission. Imagine going through that your whole life. Plus, the agony of paperwork, can you imagine?"

Madara soured at the thought, then shrugged. It was true; part of him wanted to be Hokage just to one-up his rivalry with Hashirama. But in the end, the cons outweighs the pros.

As such, Madara was petty enough to taunt the new Hokage with the facts Hikaru pointed out to him.

…

"You need an assistant, Hokage-sama." Yamanaka Inoshi said firmly at the start of the clan council.

Hashirama stared at the Yamanaka head uncomprehendingly. His inability to process Inoshi's words could be because of drop-dead exhaustion, he wasn't sure. He had been busy balancing construction contracts and village accounting forms all night…

Wait, what day was it again? And why were there three Yamanaka heads in his vision?

Beside him, Madara snorted. He really ducked a kunai there when he didn't get the Hokage title.

"An assistant is a good idea," Nara Shikaro drawled. "Just in case you are unavailable or incapacitated, having an assistant to deal with the inner governance of the village would help."

"Wouldn't that be the job of the village council?" Hyuuga Hiroki pointed out.

"They would still need to take orders from someone who knows the job intimately. Take it as a second-in-command title, one that would keep the village running. If the Hokage is down, his right-hand should temporarily lead the administration." Shikaro said. Then he eyed Madara pointedly.

The Uchiha clan head blinked. Then blinked again.

Then he got it.

"I would like to decline," Madara said politely, even though he wanted to shout, 'fucking hell no!'. "I'm afraid that Hashirama and I just might have several conflicts of interest if I am appointed as an… assistant."

Actually, he just didn't want to take Hashirama's brunt of the job. Knowing the idiot, he would foist his paperwork on him on the grounds that they were best friends.

Ugh.

Madara didn't get the Hokage title and since he couldn't lord it around, he refused to directly work under the dunderhead that actually got the job.

"Sounds reasonable." The Nara head nodded lazily, although there was a flash of knowing amusement in his eyes. "But in my opinion, it should be an Uchiha. You are half of the village founders, after all."

Madara blinked at the Nara head slowly. Huh. That was the first time he heard someone outside of his clan acknowledge the fact.

It felt nice.

"Well… Izuna is out." Madara said, feeling out of sorts at the Nara's words. "Izuna would turn the Hokage office upside down if we appoint him. And burn the place while he's at it. He has a thing against… work in general."

And it couldn't be any of the old dodders hobbling around the Uchiha estate. They were still glorifying the warring times and would rather gut a Senju than work alongside one.

Madara was just wishing they'd drop dead soon.

"How about your sister, Hikaru-hime?" Inoshi queried.

Both Madara and Hashirama perked up at the name, although for different reasons.

"Hikaru? Well…" Madara flashed back to one night ago when Hikaru threatened to leave the village and wander by herself if he and Izuna didn't stop their hovering. He winced. "Hikaru would be… open to the idea."

Hopefully this would stop his sister from getting too adventurous.

"But she's a woman-" One of the clan heads began to say.

"And?" Mito rose a brow from her position as the Uzumaki representative, a sharp grin etched on her face. "What was that about being a woman?"

The man quailed immediately.

The clan heads agreed to appoint Uchiha Hikaru as the Hokage's administrative assistant if she was amenable, and they dispersed soon after.

"She'd be happy about this," Madara muttered, thinking of the smile that would undoubtedly grace his baby sister's cute face when she got the news. He got up from his seat and spared a glance at his blank-looking Hokage. "Oi, treehead. You're turning red, why is that? You sick or something?"

Hashirama startled violently, yelping and sending paper flying all over the place. Madara deadpanned at his flailing and wondered how on earth did this guy got to be in charge of anything, let alone a whole village.

…

The Uchiha clan was befuddled.

Ever since they built their compound inside the village proper, people were being nice to them. Not that they weren't civil before, but civilians usually skittered away or stared in awe when they passed by. Now though, people would greet them in the streets, ask for their names or just call out a hello that they couldn't help but return back.

A few of them even got invited to drink or play cards!

They were confused at the cheerful pushiness of the villagers, although they didn't react negatively. They already got a lot of practice from Hikaru-hime, who was happiness and bubbliness rolled into one, and who would prod and pout and sulk if they ignored her.

And kami forbid if she was giving you the sad eyes the same moment Madara-sama or Izuna-sama passed by. No one wanted a Susanoo after their ass.

And so since they were desensitized with this level of friendliness, they just rolled with it, accepting offers for drinks or night-outs from the villagers and other clans. They then invited their new friends to visit the Uchiha compound despite the elders' mutterings.

It would be rude not to invite the villagers when they were being friendly, right?

And slowly, the Uchiha clan was integrated into Konoha, one invitation at a time.

…

"I will be your assistant from now on. I look forward to working with you, Hashirama-sama." Hikaru said politely, bowing at the Hokage.

Hashirama floundered, speechless, then looked up at the other clan heads helplessly.

They were smirking. Akimichi Choudai gave him a thumbs up. Inuzuka Mori waggled his brows. Baring Madara, who just looked expectant, the others clan heads looked plain amused.

Hashirama paled. Fucking traitors! How did they know?!

(Little did he know that they had pried out all his hopeless poetics about Hikaru that one time they dragged him to a bar and got him completely smashed.)

"Just… just call me Hashirama, Hikaru-hime." The Senju head stammered, turning to the object of his affections and trying his best not to meet Madara's eyes. His best friend could smell fear and if he ever realized what Hashirama really wanted to do to his little sister…

He swallowed.

"Alright. Then just call me Hikaru." she smiled and it was so bright and sweet and Hashirama felt his heart thudding in his chest.

He was doomed.

…

For some beautiful, exhilarating reason, they worked well.

Hashirama was breathing far easier with an assistant around and even more so since it was Hikaru who was giving him a hand.

The young Uchiha-hime was awfully intelligent and knew the ins and outs of the forming government. She was politically savvy and took care of the more mundane paperwork, passing on the more sensitive files to the Hokage and assigning other duties to people who could accomplish it without needing Hashirama's intervention. She had a serene disposition that was enough to calm any agitated shinobi knocking on the door and was firm and kind, never condescending, and Hashirama could only mourn as he fell even more infatuated over Madara's little sister.

Hikaru made sure he had sustenance when he forgot to eat, proper rest when he was tired, and she would sometimes drag the Hokage out from the office when he was getting too restless, offering a spar to unwind.

The first time Hikaru took Hashirama to the training grounds and told him to attack her, the Hokage stood for a full minute with a blank face.

"You're clearly strung high from being in the office for too long." Hikaru said, standing there all light and frail-looking. She looked amused, green eyes twinkling. "I won't snap, Hokage-sama."

And then she lunged, making Hashirama yelp in surprise. He barely had time to move out of the way, Hikaru moving faster than his eyes could see.

Hikaru may not have her clan's coveted Sharingan, but she made up for it with many things to stand beside her brothers. She had her seals; destructive, intricate seals that could blast a whole target to bits or electrocute a heart to make it stop beating. She had her speed and ingenuity, and a stubbornness that she fully inherited from her brothers.

And she had her magic.

Hikaru apparated away from the blast of Mokuton the Hokage sent her way, appearing right behind Hashirama to deliver a quick hit. The Senju paused in surprise at her sudden disappearance but felt Hikaru's presence behind him just as quickly, snagging the fist that was about to strike his neck and engaging the young Uchiha in a taijutsu fight.

Hikaru was light years behind Hashirama at hand to hand combat, but she held her own for a few minutes, sending a quick stunner at him. Hashirama easily dodged the odd red light that came from Hikaru's hands before delivering a soft blow on her shoulders, strong enough to knock Hikaru a few feet away.

Just as he thought to end the spar, Hashirama's eyes widened when he felt a tugging in his gut and was sent flying through the air feet-first, a rush of vertigo spinning through his head. There was an odd pulse of chakra in his feet and Hashirama realized that it was a seal. Hikaru must have found time to slap it on his ankle while they were engaged in taijutsu.

"Truce?" Hikaru called, breathing heavily.

"Truce." Hashirama laughed out, feeling exhilarated. The seal on his feet dulled and he was dropped to the ground unceremoniously.

"Thank you for the spar, Hokage-sama." Hikaru grinned. "I hope you feel better after that."

Hashirama breathed in and nodded softly.

Hikaru was kind, strong, intelligent, and had the most brilliant green eyes he had ever seen.

Hashirama just fell harder in love that day. It wasn't just physical attraction anymore.

He was fucking doomed.

…

It was a common thing to see the Hokage with his Uchiha assistant passing by the village.

The villagers were amused at their Hokage's not so very discreet mooning over young Hikaru-hime. And it was also clear to all that the young Uchiha princess was more than fond of the Senju clan head.

After all, even though Hikaru was kind to everyone, there was a sublime aura around her that prevented the villagers from breaking her walls completely. She would only be truly attentive and energetic around her brothers and Hashirama-sama, fussing and arguing with them with a bright sparkle in her eyes.

Soon, everyone and their grandmother knew that the Hokage was enamored with Hikaru-hime. Except of course, the three Uchiha siblings themselves.

And after seeing Madara-sama create a gigantic Katon dragon after one amorous suitor thought to cop a feel against Hikaru-hime, it was probably for the best that they weren't clued in yet.

No one wanted the Uchiha and Senju breathing down each other's necks again. They just built the village, no need to burn it down so soon.

…

A/N: I've actually put this up as yaoi first, forgetting that my younger cousins and sister are reading my fics in this site (they found my username) with the expressive request from my aunts, uncles and parents to not make it weird. Yaoi is fine for them but apparently, mpreg in the warnings is one of those weird things in life and now they're asking questions and discovering the dark side of the internet (they're so innocent (0_0) ). I've re-written this thing as penance. Don't know if I'm going to put the original back up. Probably not.

This is going to be a three-part fic. Again, it's already finished. I was just unsure about the length in one go. Tell me what you think.

Read and review.

Memory out!