All of This and Heaven Too

Fandom: Haikyuu

Summary: ''I found you on the mountain, next to your frozen corpse, widower's marks inked across your back. Black grief stark against your winter-white skin, the wings of a raven. Feathers spread over your shoulder blades.

Another suicide, I thought.

But you weren't.''

Kuroo-no-Mikoto falls hopelessly for the ghost of a widower. If only he didn't know the ghost of his wife too.

Deity/Shinigami AU

Disclaimer: I don't own Haikyuu.

Written for Kurodai Weekend 2017 Day One, which had the prompt: ''Spirits (Shinigami/Yokai and Excorist AU)

Part of my Deity AUs.

I found you on the mountain, next to your frozen corpse, widower's marks inked across your back. Black grief stark against your winter-white skin, the wings of a raven. Feathers spread over your shoulder blades.

Another suicide, I thought.

But you weren't.

The first time, the only thing you said was: ''I won't get home in time for dinner.''

And my existence zoomed in on you, like a moth to the flame.

What a laugh the other Gods must've had.

Curiosity killed the cat and being a deity never halted my feline inclinations.

You refused to come with me.

How foolish. If you were not you, I might have brought you to the afterlife. But you are you, all pensive eyes, waking over your own body as you remain at the place you died, a spectre of the living, a soul un-attached. And I want to keep you, if only to play with you for a little.

Why won't you play along? It'd be fun! You be the thread, the silly thread, and I'll be the cat pawing at it. Mighty fun, you see!

I'll persuade, pursue you.

…If you won't come with me to play, I'll amuse myself right here.

The sun went down and I appeared, slipping past the ravine between life and death. Gliding frigid fingers over your shoulders, your forever frozen form intangible to all except the immortal. The last sun rays slid right through you, your partial transparency breaking the light into rainbows as if you were water-made. ''Widower's marks?''.

You frown and reach back to cover your tattoo with a hand, like trying to heal a wound by painting it over. ''I was on the way to honour my dead wife when I got stuck in the snow storm. I thought I was lost, but it seems I might've been on the right track after all.''

How curious. I don't like the thought of someone else's dirty paws on your skin.

''You, a wife?'' A single finger stroke over your back, a sign of ownership, ''A shame it is, of such a lovely man.''

You slap my hand away, glaring. ''Yui was never a shame.''

A knife twists in my chest as you sit down.

It's not really there, but I want to take it out nonetheless and hunt down the woman who dared to make you love her so. Or maybe I won't. Maybe I'll let it sit there, slicing into my flesh as I tear into hers- claws only.

You're mine. You don't get to be someone else's too.

''…Her name was Yui, huh? Wouldn't happen to be Michimiya Yui from the rock altar, right?''

Another day, another attempt to convince you to move on, another insensitive question that would no doubt urge you to punch me in the face someday. A smirk curled around my mouth.

''Sawamura Yui, but yes. Michimiya was her maiden name. I would appreciate it, though, if you wouldn't mention the rock altar.''

''Oh, pardon me. I always forget Saeko's offers bleed to death. Must've been quite the sight.''

''My wife.''

''…I'll see you tomorrow.''

You keep staring at your corpse, its heart unbeating, frost crawling over it, the sweet lips blue. Perfectly preserved, crystallized in time as if you could slip back into it and resume your journey anytime now.

In the summer the ice will melt. Will you still linger here when the flesh starts to reek of rotten fish? Will you stay, when your skin turns to dust and only your bones remain?

You lick your lips and I want to do the same.

(Why won't you come with me?)

''How was your day?''

''Cold as hell and I'm not even there yet, though I don't get what the devil is doing among the living.''

''Not the devil, darling, but I'd fall for you~.''

''…Christian mythology? Really?''

''C'mon, you laughed!''

Oh, you're a thread. My red thread of fate, and oh, you keep jerking me around, my love. Cat got the canary turns into raven caught the cat. I'm powerless when it comes to you.

So if you ask, I cannot refuse you. I will tell you what you must not hear and it will devastate you- all because you ask it of me.

So please, don't ask. Please don't, because it might be the one wound I can't heal.

Could you be so cruel?

Don't be. I'm begging you.

Please.

Gods don't kneel, but love has been a greater force than divinity since before time existed.

You beg me to take you to Tanaka mountain- I cannot.

It would ruin you, my darling. But I don't tell you that. I smile and laugh and play the villain with silly masks and shoes too large to fill.

Your eyes pierce through me like a knife in the butter.

You cut me open every time and watch my organs sputter and die- uncomprehending of what you're seeing as I choke to death.

Or perhaps you do understand.

Stars whirl and dawn breaks and I flinch away from daylight.

I'm the one who refuses to tell you the truth.

I'm good at torturing myself.

Mourning leaves scars on souls, and yours are clearly visible on your ghostly silhouette. But still, when I asked you, you answered.

''Will you accompany me to the Winter Solstice?''

''Has it been so long already?''

I frown. ''What do you mean?''

''A year has gone by since I came here.''

I blink. Such a tiny amount of time- and you measure it?

That is not what I want. I'll have forever with you if I have my way.

''I thought you'd like to see the Spirit Convention, that's all.''

I try to reach for your hand, but you decline and stand in your own power.

Still, you come with me and it tastes like a toast to victory, though I'm drunk on you already.

Ushijima mountain is fun. Simultaneously teasing Tooru-no-Mikoto, laughing at the clumsy, silver-haired giant accompanying Kenma, and having you along for the ride.

I stomp down on the earth as the drums bang and the world starts to spin.

We dance through the jam-packed festival grounds, my feet next to yours. A step forward, two back. A fight, a competition, a divine struggle for power between the ghost of a man and the lovesick God at his feet.

And over your shoulder, I see them. I slow, movements not quite keeping up with yours, jarring the harmony.

You frown.

My eyes are no longer on you, but your displeasure is clear. You turn around, but I stop you, catching your face between my hands.

You can't see them. I won't let you.

I knew Saeko kept Yui, of course. It was her right. Her sacrifice, her choice. Yui joined the hunt, like all the others before her. But unlike the others, she slept in Saeko's temple, she slept in Saeko's bed, she slept in Saeko's arms, but most importantly, in her heart.

When you were alive, she was your wife, but both of you are dead now, and while you carried widower's marks, she was kissing another.

I love you, and I cannot break your heart by showing you her soul.

The third time I turn you away, your face is set to thunder. ''Stop doing that. What are you trying to hide?''

''My love for you!''

You shoulder past me, jostling me, and running straight into the very person I didn't want you to see.

Your wife.

You see her face and gasp, your hands flying to her shoulders, her face, as if she'll melt any moment. For all you know, she could.

''I thought you were dead!'' you clutch her to your chest, strong arms around her small frame. Small, but not fragile, never fragile, she's a hunter, a predator, the one who will snatch you from me.

''I am! Dead as a headless codfish with the guts ripped out! Except for the fish part, of course.'' She babbles from where you're squishing her.

''Yui,'' you laugh, hysterics spiraling, ''That is never going to be funny.''

I close my eyes and let the crowd's noise wash over me.

I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to be hurt, but that doesn't mean I didn't know what would happen if you knew. If she… If she still loved you.

I don't step away, I don't go to hide. I'm staying right here, lump in my throat, eyes burning, nausea swirling in my stomach cavern. I do not hunch, I do not cry, because I am a God, and I shan't shame my mountain.

And the most horrid thing? I cannot even wish you well because Saeko is a free spirit, but she looks at your wife like she puts the stars in the sky, and she'll never let her go.

Or maybe she will if she loves her enough.

Cold creeps into my bones. They freeze, they ring, they shatter.

You're humming when you return. ''Let's go home!''

I don't understand. There is no woman at your side, no angry goddess chasing you.

Just you, standing there on the road, a larger than life picture, contrasting with the sky.

You chuckle and take me by the hand, descending the mountain as easily as a goat, dragging me with you.

I don't understand.

Why are you acting like this?

The steep, meandering path seems to go on forever, but I can't bring myself to speak.

Your legs dangle over the platform's edge, the sunset painting your features red, orange, yellow with soft kisses of light. A soft sigh leaves your lips. The wind breezes through your brown hair and I long to reach out.

Will it feel like bristles? It must, when it's so closely cropped.

From this high up, you can see as far as the eye reaches. Tanaka mountain, Ushijima, Aone and even Bokuto. All sides covered with trees, and long, long stairs to the shrine at the top. The jewels on the crown, cloaked in mist and clouds. But sitting next to you, not even the darling village down in the valley below can distract me- the only view worth watching is you.

I swallow.

''Did Yui not love you enough to leave a goddess for you?'' The question lies heavy on my tongue.

You blink and frown, eyes gliding over my face in confusion.

''What-'' You stop, your expression the breaking dawn, and burst out in deep, booming laughter. It echoes in the valley beneath.

I don't understand at all.

The last wheeze dies down, and you take my hand, playing with my fingers. ''I was twenty-two when I married her, you know. She was warm and so full of life. The sun incarnate, I often thought. She'd always dreamed of getting married. So when the name day came and they announced she would be the one sacrificed on Tanaka mountain, I knew I had to make it come true. And if she didn't get to marry her dream girl, well, then 'lil old me would have to do.''

It's soft and gentle, and- ''Dream girl?''

Your breathing is the world between us. ''Yui's my soulmate, just not that way. As to the marriage,'' You shrug, ''That's what best friends are for, right?''

Oh.

Oh.

Your hands linger on my waist and you lean in, bringing your face so impossibly, wonderfully close. My lips part. Your pupils dilate, devouring the iris as you touch your mouth to mine.

I close my eyes.

Butterflies flutter in my stomach.

It's warm and alive, and I crawl closer, kimono folds falling over your knees as I clutch your neck like a lifeline.

I will never tire of this.

Afterwards, you look me straight in the eye, and say: ''We are going to have serious conversations about honesty and communication.''

And I laugh and nod, hopelessly in love, and as lost in you as you are in me.

I almost can't believe it. We can have all of this.

And heaven?

Heaven too.