A/N: I don't own TMNT.
Warning: This is a sad fanfiction! You were warned!
He wasn't supposed to be sad.
Punch.
He wasn't supposed to be upset.
Kick.
He should've known that it would be coming all along.
Stab.
But he was sure he was hurting a lot more than the dummy was right now.
He punched it, he kicked it, he stabbed it, till all the stuffing fell onto the ground and it was just a hanging rag of cloth.
But he didn't stop there. He mercilessly beat it to weaken it, to rip it to shreds, to death...
Just like... just like...
No! He couldn't think about that. It hurt too much. Working out made the pain go away for a little, so he continued to do so.
Punch.
He was supposed to be unaffected.
Kick.
He was supposed to be fine. Like he always said he was.
Stab.
He was supposed to be strong.
But he wasn't.
No. He punched it, he kicked it, he stabbed it, even though it was already broken, to push the thoughts away.
But they kept coming back.
It was weakened, it was ripped to shreds, it was dead...
He shook his head, to clear his mind, to forget it all...
But he couldn't.
He knew his eldest brother would want him to be strong, at least for his brothers. Not the upset, sad, grieving turtle he was right now.
But the truth was, he missed Leo so much right now.
Leo. He'd never said the leader's name aloud after that day.
Leo, the blue-masked turtle. Those cobalt blue eyes that never held fear. The brother that was always strong and never cried.
The Fearless Leader that knew him more than any of his other brothers...
He pushed those thoughts away because if he thought about them any longer, the tears that he'd been holding back for so long would fall.
Punch.
He had to be strong.
Kick.
He had to be strong.
Stab.
He had to be... he had to be...
I can't do this, Leo. I miss you so much...
I'm sorry for all the times I yelled at you. I'm sorry for all the times I called you mean names. I'm sorry for all the times I fought with you...
Please come back, Fearless Leader...
The tears that had been threatening to fall suddenly broke loose and spilled over his face. He fell to his knees, sobbing, crying.
I need you, Leo.
I can't do this.
I can't be strong...
He felt warm hands embrace him, pulling him into a hug.
"It's okay, Raph," his youngest brother whispered.
He tried to stop the tears, wiping them away, but they kept coming.
"I'm sorry, Mikey, - I-I didn't mean to- I just - I just miss him so much..." he whispered, still sobbing.
The orange clad turtle hugged him harder. "Me, too."
A/N: That was sadder than I thought it would be... hope you liked it anyway!
Remember to review and favorite! :)