Zootopia Police Academy, 51 weeks and 4 days ago…

"You sure you don't want to stick around, Nick? We've still got half a cake left!"

"No thanks Tony, never liked cake much." Nick replied. That was a half-truth, Nick only disliked sheet cake; homemade cakes were another story. His tiger friend shrugged.

"Suit yourself then. Night pal!" called Tony before he disappeared back into the fray.

"Goodnight." said Nick as he headed down the hall for his dormitory.

It was a Friday night at Zootopia Police Academy, just over a month into Nick's stint as an officer-in-training. Their instructor Major Friedkin had taken the full weekend off, giving Nick and the other trainees two whole days to rest up, catch up on their studies, and rest some more. And of course, throw a party. The fact that one of them, an elephant named Stevens, happened to have a birthday that day was just icing on the cake, no pun intended. Somebody had gone into town and brought back two sheet cakes and several bottles of cheap champagne, and by now everybody was having a whale of a time. While the cat was away the mice were playing, however outdated that expression was. Nick, however, had decided to retire early, not being much of a drinker or party animal.

Nick entered his dorm and closed the door behind him, but he could still hear ambient party noises in the background; it sounded like Stevens was challenging Hathi (another elephant) to a champagne chugging contest. He shimmied up the ladder to his bunk and collapsed on the oversized mattress that was his bed for the next six months. It might have been just right for a wolf, but for a half-pint fox like him it was like a king-sized bed; he could stretch out all the way and only the tip of his tail could touch the end of the bunk. It may have been lumpy and still smelled a little like wolf, but it was definitely better than the army cot he used back at home. A small perk of being the smallest cadet at the Zootopia Police academy. He had sublet his basement suite to Finnick and a couple of his friends for the duration of his stay, and could only hope he didn't come to regret that decision. As a precaution, he had packed his few irreplaceables in a box and left it with his friend Judy for the time being.

Nick laid back in his bunk and sighed. Today was his birthday too. 32 years young. He hadn't celebrated it in years, not since the last time he had seen his mother… he shook his head. Their last confrontation was not something he liked to remember. He had said some pretty awful things to her those nine years ago. He had gone over to her apartment for a birthday dinner, and that was when she had let the ball drop that she had found out about his hustling activities. They'd had a fight, he'd walked out, and every year since then they had not spoken and he would just ignore his birthday as much as possible, often forgetting it entirely.

It was the biggest regret of his life.

Suddenly his phone gave a buzz. Startled out of his reverie Nick pulled it out and looked at the screen, and saw it was a text from Judy:

Hey! Sorry, you still up? I got some news.

Feeling his mood brighten a little Nick pressed call and soon the face of his favorite bunny appeared on the screen: "Hey Carrots, what's up?"

"Hi Nick!" proclaimed the cheery rabbit on the other end. "Sorry to be calling so late, but-"

She suddenly paused and frowned, her ears swivelling. "Heeey… are those party sounds I hear on your end?"

Nick smirked; sometimes he forgot about the amazing hearing capabilities of bunny ears. "Yep, our illustrious instructor is away for the weekend and one of my fellow cadets is having a birthday, so the others decided to put two together and throw him a party."

There was suddenly a loud THUMP somewhere in the distance, followed by cheering, and then an enormous belch, and then uproarious laughter. "And it sounds like Hathi just won the champagne chugging contest."

"A birthday party?" Judy scoffed in false indignation, "I had a birthday while I was at the academy, and nobody threw ME a party! Ah well, we bunnies don't really do birthday parties anyway. I mean, can you imagine with a big family like mine? We'd be having parties every day. That's a lot of carrot cake."

Carrot cake. Of course. Nick chuckled at the thought, but found he wasn't in the mood for cracking a joke about that. "Okaaay… so what's this news you bring me?"

Judy positively glowed. "Well, I was working overtime today, that's why I'm calling so late, and I got a chance to talk with Chief Bogo. And he said he's been in touch with somebody at the academy, who said your grades so far have been the best in your class! Congratulations, Nick! Bogo said if this keeps up you're a shoo-in for Precinct One, and he'll definitely partner us up! Top of your class, I knew you could do it!"

Nick was definitely glad to hear that, but try as he might, he didn't feel like blowing his own horn right now. So instead he simply murmured:

"Thanks Carrots, I knew I could do it too."

Judy looked taken aback. "That's all you have to say? 'I knew I could do it too'? Nick, are you feeling alright?"

Nick startled, and then deflected: "I'm fine, I'm just surprised Chief Buffalo-Butt actually used words like 'shoo-in'."

"Okay, his exact words were 'I'll consider it', but for him that's like saying you're a shoo-in," Judy replied, "Are you sure you're alright? You seem distant tonight."

"Of course, couldn't be better, what gives you that idea?" Nick responded with his most sincere expression.

Judy wasn't buying it. "Nick, you're alone in your dormitory while there's a party going on next door, you barely patted yourself on the back when I said you had the best grades in your class, and you didn't even crack a joke when I mentioned carrot cake. Is something on your mind? You know I'm always willing to listen."

"Well…" Nick sighed, and considered telling her what day it was, but decided to give her something else instead: "The truth is, Carrots, I am on board with this whole becoming-a-cop thing, really I am, but, there's still this little part of me that believes it's never going to happen."

Judy tilted her head in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"I'm a fox, Carrots. And as such, I'm used to being scorned and rejected, never getting what I want. I mean, you know what happened the first time I tried something like this."

Judy nodded, recalling the tale of the junior ranger scouts he had told her on the gondola in the Rain Forest district.

"And now I've been here a month, and the people actually like me. They respect me, they even treated me like a hero when I first got here, and that felt weird. Some part of me still worries this is all some giant prank, or some other crisis will happen and I won't become a cop after all. I know that's stupid, but old habits, they die hard."

It wasn't a lie, Nick really did feel this way sometimes; it was just something he would have kept to himself had he not been put on the spot. Judy gazed off for a second, digesting this rare show of vulnerability. But when she answered, it was with the greatest amount of warmth and sincerity she could muster: "Nick, I once said you'd make a pretty good cop, and I meant it, and now I think you'll be great. And with any luck, you'll get to make this city a better place for other foxes as well. It'll happen, you'll see."

She leaned in closer, "I promise."

Then Nick heard a beeping on Judy's end. Judy looked at her screen and frowned. "Sorry Nick, my parents are calling, I better take this. Could be about my sister and her new litter. I'll call you back tomorrow. Goodnight!"

"Goodnight, Carrots." And they both hung up.

Nick stared at his phone for a few seconds more, and then set it down and stretched, hearing the tendons in his joints cracking. He had wanted to tell Judy what was really on his mind, but there was no sense in opening up that can of worms. He loved that rabbit, but bringing up his birthday might lead to her probing about his family, which would lead to his mother, and that was not a story he cared to share with her. Not now.

A childish idea suddenly came to him. Sitting up, and listening out to make sure nobody was coming to walk in anytime soon, Nick leaned way over the side of his bunk and scooped a tiger-patterned cigarette lighter off his bunkmate's bedside table. He mentally shook his head at it – if Hobbson really wanted to pass the physical exam and become a cop he would have to give up smoking. Nick laid back in his bunk and turned the oversized lighter over in his paw a few times, and then flicked it on. A small golden flame illuminated the room.

"I wish…" He whispered, "…I wish becoming a cop will work out."

And then maybe I can find Mom, show her my new uniform, and tell her how sorry I am.

And he blew the candle out.