Reality
Danny was woken by the sound of a faintly beeping alarm clock. He opened his eyes and remembered where he was. He rolled over, reached over Baez and quickly turned the alarm off before it got any louder. He lay beside her, gently brushed her hair to one side and started kissing her neck. She awoke with a smile, feeling the warmth of his chest against her back and his mouth on her neck.
"Morning." She greeted him grinning.
"Morning." He whispered into her ear between kisses. She glanced over at the clock and seeing the time she went to get up. Danny quickly snaked his arm around her waist and held her against him.
"Stay here." He whispered against her neck. She shivered, smiled and glanced over her shoulder at him.
"We have work." She told him. She felt his hand grazing the skin of her stomach heading south.
"Call in sick." He replied and she chuckled.
"Both of us?" She questioned him. Moments later his hand reached its destination and she gasped. She got lost in the sensations as his fingers got to work and his mouth continued its assault on her neck. It only lasted for a minute until her alarm clock started to buzz again, Danny having only managed to put it on snooze. She reached out and turned it off properly then grabbed his hand.
"I have to go, I'm testifying for your sister today, remember?" She reminded him, hoping mentioning his sister might cool him down.
"Oh, right." He remembered but persisted with trying to get his hand back. She laughed and lifted his arm off, she disentangled herself from him and climbed out of bed. She turned to look at him and grinned at the pouty face he was making. As she went about laying out the clothes she was going to wear, he put his hands behind his head and watched her. She grabbed a towel from behind the door and walked out of the bedroom, seconds later she poked her head through the door.
"Hey." She called to get his attention.
"I'm going to have a shower." She told him, he nodded and saw her raise her eyebrows and as a suggestive grin spread across her face.
"Wanna join me?"
He straightened his tie as he entered the kitchen, he saw her standing at the bench and walked over. He came up behind her and slung his arms around her waist and, resting his chin on her shoulder, peered down to see her spreading jam on a piece of toast. In his peripheral vision he saw her smile at the closeness and placed a kiss on her cheek.
"Here." As she spoke she lifted one of the two mugs of coffee on the bench.
"Thanks." He replied, taking it and having a sip only letting go of her with one hand. She smiled at his determined effort to stay close to her. She gently pushed back against him as she picked up two plates of toast and then carried them over to a small table. He grabbed both mugs and joined her, he then handed her her mug and took a bite of toast.
"So, I've been thinking." She said after taking a sip of coffee, he quickly swallowed his mouthful.
"About what?" He asked.
"Putting in a new partner request. I think we should wait." She told him, he washed down his bite of toast with a large sip of coffee.
"Why?" He asked putting down his coffee and his piece of toast.
"Well, if you turn up to work with no ring the same day I put in for a new partner, it's going to look really bad. I mean, I know we weren't saints but we didn't do what everyone at work will assume we did. Besides, you know what cops are like, the entire police department will know by the end of the day. Which means it would get back to your dad, who I'm guessing you're not ready to tell yet." She explained staring into her coffee, not sure how he would take it.
"Ok, we'll wait." He agreed and her eyes flicked up.
"Really?"
"Yeah." He smiled reassuringly.
"You know it's against the rules. We'll get in a lot of trouble if anyone finds out we're dating while we're still partners." She felt compelled to point out.
"Hey, when have I ever cared about the rules?" He grinned and they both laughed.
"Good point."
He finished the sentence he was typing then stretched back in his chair. He glanced over and reached for his coffee when his eyes caught sight of the framed photo of Linda and the boys he kept on his desk. He picked it up and stared at it, making a mental note to get a photo of just the boys. He opened a drawer and placed the frame, photo side down, carefully inside. He took a sip of coffee and turned back to the report he had been writing. He had barely restarted typing when Baez came in to the bullpen. She walked over and stood at her desk, she took off her coat and hung it on the back of her chair. He was about to greet her when she looked at him and nodded over to the coffee machine, she then picked up her empty coffee mug and headed over. He immediately stood, picked up his almost empty mug and followed her.
"Hey, how'd your testimony go?" He asked as he reached her and held out his mug.
"It went well, the defence attorney barely cross examined me." She told him as she filled his mug and then her own. She placed the coffee pot back in the machine and placed her mug down beside it.
"On the way back I had this made." As she spoke she quickly glanced around the room. She put her hand in her pocket and then pulled it back out. She lifted it up and he saw she was holding a newly made copy of the key to her apartment.
"I figured you're going to need it." She smiled as she handed it to him. He took it and quickly stuffed it into his pocket.
"Thanks." He smiled back at her. They stood still for a moment staring at each other before they broke eye contact and made their way back to their desks. They had just made it to their seats when their captain came out of her office.
"Reagan. Baez. Some joggers found a body in the park." She told them as she handed Danny a piece of paper with the details on it.
"On it." Danny replied as he and Baez retrieved their guns from their drawers and put them in their holsters. The captain turned and went to walk back to her office.
"Boss?" Danny called after her causing her to turn back around.
"Yeah Reagan?"
"Can I take a couple of hours of personal time tomorrow afternoon?" He asked.
"Sure, do what you need to do." She answered, flicking her eyes down to his bare left hand and then straight back up. She gave him a sympathetic smile and headed into her office. He turned, grabbed his coat and put it on as he rounded his desk and fell into step with Baez. He could feel her eyes on him as they walked down the corridor.
"Going to tell the boys." He answered her unasked question.
"Tomorrow?" She asked surprised.
"It works best with everyone's schedules. Besides might as well get it over with, right?" He explained. She snuck a glance at him as they descended the steps of the precinct.
"Right…"
The next afternoon Danny found himself at his father's house, he opened the door and let himself into the kitchen. He closed the door behind himself and when he turned around he saw his father and grandfather sitting at the kitchen table staring at him.
"Hi." He greeted them, feeling uncomfortable.
"Hi." Henry replied.
"Hey. How are doing?" Frank asked concerned. He sighed and made his way across the room, over to the table.
"Okay, I guess." He shrugged.
"If you need anything, we're here." Henry told him.
"Thanks." Danny replied. He stared at them expecting them to put their two cents in but Henry and Frank remained silent both knowing they should stay out of it. Danny was about to leave the kitchen when Linda walked in, she looked up and sighed when she saw him.
"Hi." He spoke first.
"Hi. The boys are upstairs, I'll go and get them. We can do it in the lounge." She informed him. He stared at her and nodded his acceptance. She turned around and walked back out, he sighed realising just how much things had changed. He quickly glanced over at Frank and Henry who had been staring, then left the kitchen and walked through to the lounge. As he took a seat he heard Jack asking his mother what was going on as they came through from the foyer.
"Hey Dad." Sean greeted him cheerfully.
"Hey guys." He replied giving them a smile.
"Hey." Jack added his greeting.
"Take a seat, your father and I have something we need to talk to you about." Linda told them and they sat. Jack looked between his parents, sitting on the sofa across from him and his brother, and had a feeling he knew what was coming.
"Are you guys getting divorced?" He asked, taking a guess at what was going on. He watched his parents eyes widen in surprise and began to wonder if he'd misread the situation.
"It's just, you bring us in here to talk and you're all serious and we haven't seen Dad in like, two days." He explained his logic. Hearing his brother laying it all out and seeing his parents faces Sean realised Jack was right.
"You are, aren't you?" He asked fairly certain he knew the answer. Danny and Linda looked at each other and realised just how much the boys had picked up on.
"Yes." Danny confirmed and studied his sons faces for their reactions. The boys nodded slowly, not all that surprised, and leaned back against the sofa.
"We're sorry." Jack offered, feeling bad for his parents.
"Thank you." Linda smiled, touched at her sons concern.
"Have you been fighting?" Sean asked, wondering if he'd missed something.
"No." Linda assured him then looked to Danny to take over.
"The thing is, just because two people aren't fighting it doesn't mean they're happy. Your Mom and I have decided to go our separate ways because we both want more than what we have with each other." He chose his words carefully.
"So what happens next?" Jack asked. Danny glanced at Linda who gave him a look telling him to keep going.
"Well, as you already noticed, I've moved out. The next step for us is to get lawyers and get started on the paperwork." He saw her look at him out of the corner of his eye and turned to see her trying to cover her reaction to hearing him talk about lawyers.
"What happens to us?" Sean asked more curious than worried.
"You're going to stay here with me until I can find a place for the three of us." Linda informed them.
"So we don't get to choose?" Jack wondered aloud.
"I'd love to have you guys with me but with work it's just not practical but I'm going to get a place with rooms for both of you so you can come and stay. Your Mom and I will work something out." He explained. The four of them sat there, looking back and forth between each other, letting it all sink in. It had all of a sudden become very real.
When he arrived home he found her on the sofa reading a case file, he walked over and joined her. She looked up when he sat down and he gave her a quick kiss.
"Hey. What are you doing?" He asked as he peered over at the file and saw it was the one on the dead girl found in the park the previous day.
"Hey. I didn't make any progress while you were gone so I thought I'd look back through the file and see if I could find anything we missed." She explained as she closed the file and placed it on the coffee table.
"Find anything?"
"Nope. So how did it go?" She asked turning her body to face him.
"Alright I think. Them being a bit older helps, they understand. In fact they didn't seem all that surprised." He told her shifting to face her.
"That's good right? Better than it being a bombshell." She thought aloud as she rested her arm on the back of the couch and leant her head against her hand.
"True, so we briefly talked about the living situation." He continued.
"Yeah?"
"We agreed that they'd stay at Dad's until Linda can find a place for them. I told them I would get a place with rooms for them so they could come and stay." He told her.
"So we need to find a bigger place." She concluded. He raised his eyebrows and her mouth dropped. She went red and looked down at the sofa.
"I mean….if you want…want me to…" She trailed off as she realised how presumptuous she had just been. He stared at her, glad she was so amenable but surprised she doubted his desire to live with her. He placed his hand under her chin and gently lifted her head until her eyes met his.
"Of course I want you there." He told her and felt his heart beat a little faster when a beaming smile lit up her face. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her lips. She kissed him back and rested her hand on his shoulder. He deepened the kiss and moved forward causing her to lean back, he kept moving lowering them both down on to the sofa.
Later that night Baez awoke to find herself alone in bed, she rolled over and checked the clock. She saw the time was 1:47am and also noticed there was a light on in the kitchen. She climbed out of bed, grabbed a robe hanging on the inside of the door of the wardrobe and put it on. As she walked down the hall tying the robe around herself she saw Danny sitting at the small table in the kitchen staring at the screen of his laptop.
"Hey, couldn't sleep?" She inquired as she came up behind him and rested her hands on his shoulders.
"Nope, you?" He replied leaning his head back against her stomach.
"I don't know why but I can't stop thinking about the girl in the park." She told him. He took one of her hands and pulled it gently so she would come around and end up in front of him. Once she had he turned her slightly and pulled her onto his lap. She smiled as she slung her arm over his shoulders and he wrapped his arms around her.
"We'll figure it out." He reassured her as she leaned the side of her body against his chest.
"So what are you looking at?" She asked turning her attention to the laptop. She looked at the screen and on it was a listing for a three bedroom apartment.
"You're keen."
"No time like the present." He shrugged. She glanced back at the screen and noticed a second tab was open. She dragged the cursor over and clicked on it. The second tab contained results of a search for divorce lawyers.
"You know there's no rush right?" She asked, concerned he wasn't giving himself time to process.
"I know. I couldn't sleep and it has to be done so I figured I might as well get started. I'm going to make an appointment with that one tomorrow." He told her pointing to the third search result.
"Sounds good." She smiled supportively and he gave her a gentle squeeze.
"Do you want to go back to bed?" She asked and he shrugged.
"I said bed, not sleep." She pointed out with a suggestive grin. He considered it for all of one second.
"Danny!" She squealed with laughter as he scooped her up and got to his feet. They grinned at each other as he pushed his chair back with his legs and carried her back to the bedroom.
Only two days later, early on a Friday afternoon, he was sitting the office of the lawyer he had chosen watching as she read back over the notes she had taken as they talked. She scribbled a final sentence then placed her pen on top of the notepad and looked up at him.
"Well, based on what I have here I can begin drawing up your divorce papers. I can probably have them to you by the middle of next week." She explained leaning back in her chair.
"That soon?" He was taken aback.
"Given that you lost everything in a fire and already have an agreed upon custody arrangement, there is nothing to contest so it's simply a matter of putting it all on paper and having you both sign off." She clarified. She could see she had surprised him with her suggested timeframe.
"Of course, there's no hurry, you can take some time, consider everything and then let me know if and or when you'd like me to get started." She offered and could see him turning it all over in his mind.
"Alternatively, I can get started drawing up the papers and once you receive them you can hold on to them for a while and decide then if this is what you really want. It's up to you." She finished and waited for him to respond.
"And once they're signed?" Danny asked, buying himself some more time to think.
"I will submit them to the court and, barring any unforeseen issues, in fifteen to twenty working days you'll receive your divorce decree and be legally divorced." She replied. Danny sat there stunned, he had only come in to get the process started and here she was telling him it could all be done and dusted within a month. As she smiled at him, patiently waiting for a decision, he tried to think of any reason he shouldn't have her get started. He sighed when he realised he couldn't think of one.
"Go ahead, draw them up."
That Sunday Danny was woken by the sun shining in his eyes, he stretched and rolled on to his back. Moments later he felt his arm being lifted and saw Baez tucking herself under his arm and placing her head on his chest.
"Morning." He smiled and kissed her forehead.
"Morning." She replied placing a kiss on his chest and draping her arm over him.
"Been awake long?" He asked.
"Just a few minutes."
"You should have woken me." He told her as put his other arm around her and joined his hands.
"Interrupt your first Sunday sleep-in in who knows how long, I don't think so." She smiled. He smiled and sighed contentedly, after a few seconds she shifted and propped herself up on his chest.
"So your dad's ok with you not going to Sunday dinner?" She asked curious.
"Not really, but once I pointed out that in order to have me there he'd have to kick Linda out of the house for a couple of hours, he stopped arguing with me." He explained.
"And not going church?"
"I won't be at dinner so he can't tell me off." He grinned.
"So we have the whole day to ourselves?" She asked to check.
"Yup." He confirmed and saw a grin spread across her face.
"I wonder how we can pass the time?"
As predicted the divorce papers arrived on Wednesday bringing a cloud of sadness into the happy bubble Danny and Baez had been living in. Danny sat down and read them over twice and with a heavy heart signed below his name. He got his phone out and texted Linda to set up a time to go over and talk. He wasn't expecting the quick reply that came telling him she was free to talk right now. He found himself yet again surprised by how unexpectedly fast things were moving but resigned to just get it over with. Half an hour later he walked in the kitchen door of his father's house and after a quick search found Linda sitting in the living room. She looked up when entered her eyes widening when she saw the yellow A4 envelope in his hand.
"Hi." He stood uncomfortably just inside the room.
"Hi." She replied and gestured for him to sit.
"How are you?" He asked not wanting to launch straight in.
"Okay I guess, you?" She replied.
"I'm alright." He shifted knowing there was no point putting it off any longer.
"So these came in the mail today." He told her as he opened the envelope and pulled out two copies of the divorce papers. He handed them to her and she scanned the top page, her stomach dropped as her suspicion about the contents of the envelope was confirmed.
"You've already had papers drawn up?" She asked stunned.
"I didn't know it would happen this fast." He assured her.
"I went to a lawyer just to get the process started but after I explained our situation she told me it could get it done in a few days. We already worked out a custody arrangement and because we lost everything in the fire we don't have anything to fight over, there's nothing to contest." He explained.
"Nothing worth fighting for?" Erin spoke as she entered the room. Danny looked to his sister and saw the disappointment on her face.
"You don't understand." He told her.
"Hey I've been there." She reminded him.
"It was different for you, you and Jack were fighting, making each other miserable. Do you have any idea how hard it is to leave a marriage that's still functioning, that still kind of works. To wake up one day and realise it's not enough anymore. You tell yourself you can live like that, be happy with what you've got and you try. For years you try and live like that until one day, you realise you can't. You need more. You want more. You know that you both deserve more than you can give each other. So you do the hardest thing you've ever done and leave. Leave a relationship that's been your life for the last twenty years. You don't understand." As he admitted what he'd been dealing with he felt waves of sadness and guilt wash over him. Both woman stared as they finally saw just how hard this had been for him.
"I'm sorry." Erin said.
"Just take some time and look it over. If your happy with it, sign the copy I've signed, keep the other copy and if you could mail the signed copy to the precinct that would be great. Otherwise let me know and I can come back and get it." Danny explained and went to leave.
"Wait." Linda called after him and he turned back around.
"Can you look over this for me?" She asked Erin, who nodded.
"Give her a minute, if she says it looks okay, I'll sign it." Linda said handing a copy to Erin. Danny took a seat and they sat in silence as Erin read. After a few minutes she finished and looked at Linda.
"This all looks good, if your happy with the terms, initial each page and sign on the dotted line." Erin advised her handing back the document. Linda read it and finding everything satisfactory picked up a pen from the coffee table. She initialed each page but before she signed it she stopped and looked at Danny. She stared at him silently asking if he was sure, he saw and understood her look, he swallowed hard and nodded. She signed her name and slipped the signed copy back to the envelope and handed to him. He took it, stood up and went to walk out of the room.
"Danny." She called after him. He stopped and looked back at her.
"I really hope you find what you're looking for." She told him genuinely.
"You too." He replied and walked out. He walked back through the house and thought about what Linda had said. As he stepped outside his mind drifted to Baez and he smiled, he'd already had.
