"No, a little to the left. Yeah that's good right there. Just.. no! Don't change! That was good, why did you stop?"

Killian sat up in a huff. "Christ luv, do you want to just do it yourself? I'm doing it the same as last time and you didn't complain."

Emma pulled the sheets back up over herself. "God damnit Kil! Way to kill the mood. I was just giving you some tips!" Killian tried to kiss her again but she pulled away and rolled onto her side. "Just forget it. You stink of rum anyway and I'm getting a headache."

"Luv, come on! It's been weeks. I thought you were in the mood? Let me try again." Killian pleaded desperately.

It was true. It had been weeks and Emma herself was in desperate need of a release. She'd been pumped up since they came off stage and wanted nothing more than to orgasm and go to sleep but it just wasn't doing anything for her. She closed her eyes and pulled her long term boyfriend in closer trying to imagine softer skin and ignore the stubble scraping her chin. She tried to concentrate on the sensations in her body and focus on the image in her mind that always managed to get her off. Killian wasn't a bad lover. It was Emma's head. For a while now she'd had a crush, a stupid crush on a completely unattainable, straight woman. Emma had always known she was bisexual and had been quite happy with her man for years. She hadn't even been looking for anyone else. Not until she saw her. She tried harder to feel something, anything that would get her to where she needed to be. She knew once she got going, it'd be better. After what felt like an eternity, Emma tapped Killian on the shoulder and rolled them over. She straddled him and fucked him hard. She wasn't going to get there tonight and she knew the quickest way to get him to come was with her on top, so she rode him until she felt him tense up and then everything went limp.

"Ah that's more like it luv. Did you?"

She smiled at him. She knew this was her issue so she lied. "Oh yeah. It was awesome. I'm gonna go take a shower, ok?"

"Sure. If I'm asleep when you get back, love you." Killian said already closing his eyes.

"Yeah. Love you too." Emma went to the bathroom and switched on the shower. She felt dirty lately. Every time they had sex, she just wanted to wash his scent off her body. In the beginning, she'd loved being able to smell him on her skin but now it kind of made her gag a little. She loved him. She wanted to be with him and things were going to get better if she could just focus on reality and not the fantasy that had taken over her life. Emma scrubbed between her legs and around her neck at least three times, adding more soap until she was sure she smelled like herself again. Tomorrow morning Killian would be at his day job bright and early so she'd sort herself out then. She stayed under the steaming hot water until she felt exhausted then she dried quickly and returned to bed to try and get some sleep.

The next morning, she woke to an empty bed. It always panicked her a bit at first but then she felt better realising she had some time to herself. It wasn't like she was obsessed with sex or anything like that, she just needed to chill. Her hand snaked down to her clit and she began rubbing it gently while her other hand tickled her sides, occasionally kneading her breast. Soon enough she was getting close and she rolled onto her stomach as her hips bucked against her hand. She brought herself to orgasm in record time and then went to get a coffee.

She flicked open her e-mail on her phone and went through her social media platforms. It was her daily ritual. Some people read the news at breakfast, Emma stalked Instagram and Twitter. Someone posted a video of her gig last night and tagged her. She clicked it open to see how she'd sung. Not bad. It was a surprise that anyone even filmed it. The amount of gigs they'd done lately were slim and not many people were in attendance. It was mostly bars looking for cheap or free acts and they mainly did covers. Emma hated doing covers. She was a songwriter first and foremost but as yet hadn't managed to sell or get radio play for a single song. It had been 10 years now and at 30, she knew it was highly unlikely to ever happen for her but she could still dream.

She got a notification to her e-mail account.

Check out Regina Mills recent tweet.

"Damn it woman! Can't I go a whole five minutes without seeing your name?"

She clicked the link and stared longingly at the photo of the actress she had been obsessing over ever since she first saw her in Recoil, a science fiction movie. It had been 3 years ago and she instantly felt drawn to the woman. She had done another 2 movies in the series and had just tweeted a photo of herself and the main actor at a convention. Emma felt a pang of jealousy. She envied the people who had gotten to meet her favorite star and considered buying a ticket for the next one. She'd never been much of a fan girl and the idea of going to such an event made her feel a bit desperate.

Emma did a quick search online to see where the next ones were being held. When she saw there was one in her city in 4 months time, she impulsively bought a ticket. It would be an experience if nothing else. She must have been hungover. It was the only way she could justify her next action because she'd never once thought to message such a high profile person. She clicked reply on the tweet and wrote; see you in Boston.

...

"Testing, one two, one two." The microphone screeched as Emma checked her levels. Killian was tuning up his guitar and shredding some serious arpeggios. There were two other guys in the band. Jefferson on drums and Will on bass. Emma played rhythm guitar as well as being the lead singer. She nodded to the guys and everyone signalled they were ready. She spoke clearly into the mic.

"Hey everyone. We are Forbidden Fruit, thanks for coming this evening. We're gonna do a few covers and some original stuff for you so sit back, have fun and enjoy the ride!"

The gig went well and they even managed to shift a few CD's. It wasn't much money, especially split between 4, but it all got pumped back into recording and studio time. Emma saw Jeff and Kil plotting and she knew he'd be out for the night. Jefferson was wild. He always seemed coked off his face and when he and Killian got together, it was usually an all nighter.

"Emma luv, I'm going to head out with Jeff and Will. Lads night. Do you mind?" Killian asked her. It wasn't really a request. He did what he pleased most of the time and Emma was used to it.

"No, it's cool. You guys have fun. I'm gonna stick around here with Rubes for a bit anyway. Girls night." She winked and Killian headed off with the group with their instruments in tow. She turned to the bartender and rolled her eyes. "So what time do you finish tonight? Wanna do something?"

The dark haired woman smiled apologetically. "Sorry dude, I'm here until closing but you can stick around and keep me company if you want." She placed a Jack Daniels down in front of the blonde and winked. "You've still got another couple of drinks on the house."

Emma took the drink gratefully and swallowed the burning liquid. "Yeah, I may as well."

Ruby noticed how her friend was not her usual bubbly self. Usually after a show she was hyped up and ready to party. "What's going on with you? Are you and Killian ok?"

Emma shook her head dismissively. "Yeah, same as always. I guess I'm just bored."

Ruby nodded. "Em, I've known you since high school. You've never stuck anything out this long. You were always talking about traveling and touring, living on the road. Why aren't you guys doing that?"

Emma sighed. "I know, I know. It's the guys. They just seem pretty content with playing one or two shows every now and then and getting wasted. And Kil's got that cushty office job. I dont think his heart is in it anymore. It's like he lost his passion. I'm sick of it to be honest. I'm about ready to just give up for good."

Ruby considered Emma's words. "So leave them. Go solo. Remember when you went busking around Europe? That was awesome!"

Emma laughed. "Yeah if you class having no money and sleeping in people's floors as awesome!" She thought about it some more. "That was a brilliant summer to be fair. I couldn't do it again though. I couldn't leave Kil for that long."

Ruby raised an eyebrow. "All I know is, you've changed Em. When you're with him, you seem to censor yourself and play it safe. I just want you to be happy."

Emma swigged the bourbon and pulled out her phone as Ruby went to serve another customer. She did a double take and almost choked on her shot. She checked again and then again, rubbed her eyes and started squealing. Ruby came back over. "What has got into you?"

Emma shoved her phone into Ruby's hand. "Read that.. tell me I'm not dreaming!"

Ruby looked down at the thing that was causing her friend to flap. "What am I looking at here?"

"That there. The top line."

Ruby read it out loud and grinned. "Regina Mills is now following you." She laughed. "Don't tell me you're still crushing on her! Wow, she just liked your video!"

"What? No she didn't!" Emma snatched the phone back from her friend feeling her cheeks turn pink. She read the notification for herself. "Jeez Rubes.. better get me that other drink! Mind if I just die here on the bar?"

Ruby laughed. "God you're a loser! Sorry to burst your bubble but it's probably her PR people. I bet she doesn't even use that account."

Emma stuck her tongue out. "Thanks for that Rubes. Way to trample on my dreams. But you're right. It's probably just her peeps."