A/N: Hello! A brand new one shot from me! The idea came about when I was feeling angsty and was written in the same sort of mood... oops?
Reviews would be appreciated for this story. I love to hear what my readers think! It also helps to give me ideas for future stories to write for you all, which I love to do.
Enjoy! :)
Keep Smiling!
Emma startles awake once again, breathing heavily and erratically. The last vestiges of the dream fade away and the ceiling of the room becomes visible in her blurred vision. Her right hand runs through her mussed hair before her palm presses against her tired eyes as she withholds a sob.
Killian shuffles over, even in sleep seeking to comfort her. He throws his blunted left arm over her waist and his head lands just above her shoulder, warm breath puffing out onto her skin. However, instead of being soothing, the gesture stifles her.
As not to wake the pirate up, Emma carefully climbs out of bed. She grabs her thick cardigan, pulling it on and moves downstairs where she can be alone. Her arms wrap tightly around her knees when she sits down on the couch.
It has been two weeks since they managed to safely extract the Darkness from Emma, consequently stripping it from Killian too - just before she would have ended up killing him. After four more long and restless nights, Emma finally slept after seven weeks of not doing so but has dealt with nightmares every night since. It has left her utterly exhausted and her emotions are all over the place.
But, there is one emotion that is always there recently, lurking beneath the surface.
Anger.
It manifested itself originally when she was first inhabited by the Darkness and has only grown and lingered. Yes, as the Dark One she did some unspeakable things but, no one saw her as Emma; no one accepted her for who she was during those weeks.
She burrows deeper into her mind and darkening thoughts. A miniature heart attack is caused when Killian shakes her out of it.
"Are you alright, Emma? You've been sitting there for more than an hour now."
Emma scrambles up from the couch and moves backwards until she stands by the fireplace, making sure they are separated with plenty of space between them. Her eyes are wide, panicked.
Killian stands up from the couch, a flurry of emotions on his face. "Emma?"
"When you were the Dark One, I saw you for who you truly are despite so many of your actions saying otherwise. Yet, you didn't do the same for me. You didn't see me as Emma - you, just like everyone else, only saw the Darkness and refused to look past it and what it could be capable of."
Killian takes a step forwards but immediately stops when Emma holds up a shaking hand.
"I became that... that thing to save your life - to protect you and everyone else in this town. The Darkness could have destroyed everything but I sacrificed myself to it because as the bloody Saviour, that is my fucking job!"
Killian takes another step closer, the pain in her shout hitting him. "Sweetheart, calm down." he says, worried not just by her sudden outburst towards him, but by the way her breathing is becoming more erratic. "You know that you can talk to me and I thought we had spoken about all of this. I'm sorry, Emma."
Emma simply shakes her head before poofing herself up into the bedroom. Hastily, she removes her night clothes and replaces them with fresh underwear, jeans, a long sleeved blue shirt and her red leather jacket. Her hair is left, forgotten and un-brushed; tangled around her shoulders. She just finishes putting some socks on when Killian bursts into the room.
"Em-"
His words are cut off when Emma poofs herself back downstairs, beside the front door. She pulls on her knee high boots and vaguely hears Killian running down the stairs before she transports herself again.
Emma ends up on top of one of the hills, looking down over Storybrooke. She sits down on a fallen, weathered log and takes a deep, and unsteady, breath.
Killian's words mull around in her head constantly. Her anger doesn't abate, growing instead as she sits in solitude. It is hard to tell how much time has passed as she delves deeper and deeper into her thoughts.
It registers, barely, when her name is suddenly called to her right. Emma whirls her head to see Regina standing there, her parents behind her. She gets up from the log and takes a few steps back, not wanting to be around anyone.
Regina starts moving towards Emma as if she is a wounded animal. Her steps are slow, and her hands are raised slightly.
"Killian told us what happened this morning." she says, her voice soft; a tone Emma has only heard to reassure Henry. Emma huffs, not entirely surprised. "We can completely understand you being angry for what has happened to you but you shouldn't take it out on those you love, those who love you."
Emma shakes her head, looking out at the view of the town. She blinks at the fact that the sun is much higher in the sky than before and she hadn't noticed.
"I have a right to be angry at whoever I please." she says. Emma then turns her gaze back to Regina, fists clenching and unclenching at her sides. "You know, I became the Dark One to save you, Regina. I sacrificed who I was so that the Evil Queen could have her happy ending. But apparently no one believed that I was strong enough to fight the Darkness and its impulses."
"That isn't true, Emma." Regina argues, glancing back at Snow and David.
"How many times have you told me that you know 'the lure of evil' more than anyone?" Emma asks harshly. "You never cared about what the Darkness was doing to me - you just wanted to control the Dark One so nothing else could ruin your chances at happiness. What I had inside me, controlling and manipulating me, wasn't just evil like you loved to wave around. I had the very meaning of evil and death and destruction inside me, wanting me to do the most despicable things; and I didn't."
"We still helped you. The Darkness is gone." Regina says, still trying to come closer to Emma.
Emma laughs drily. "Your actions led to Killian dying and then him hating me with everything he was because I saved his life. I couldn't live without him." She pauses for a moment, blinking away the tears that have swelled in her eyes. "Perhaps it would have been better to let you be taken instead of me."
"Emma!" Snow exclaims her daughter's name in shock. "You cannot mean that!"
Emma looks over at Snow, fire in her eyes. "I do."
David steps forwards, trying to reason with her. "Sweetheart-"
"If I hadn't sacrificed myself, I wouldn't have had my family hating me, refusing to accept me. I did that - I allowed the Darkness to take me - because that is my job as the Saviour. Now, what made me the Saviour? Oh yes! Regina's dark curse."
"Emma." Her mother's tone becomes almost warning. Regina simply stands there and takes the verbal lashing.
She knows that Emma just needs to let it all go, and she doesn't mind.
"None of this would have happened if I wasn't the Saviour." Emma says, her voice breaking under the weight of her emotions. Her tone changes then, becoming soft; tired. "I wouldn't feel so exhausted with everything because I cannot sleep at night thanks to nightmares of what the Darkness wanted me to do to you all. I wouldn't have had to sacrifice myself because my job is to ensure that everyone gets their happy endings; apparently at the expense of my own."
Regina and her parents watch as Emma seems to shrink in front of them. Her shoulders curve inwards, her back slumping.
"I just... I'm so tired and... I don't want to do anything anymore. I don't... don't want to be this anymore."
All the fight leaves her then and she finally breaks down.
Snow cautiously approaches Emma who stands there, sobbing heavily and painfully.
"I'm sorry." Emma repeats over and over as Snow cups her face in her hands.
"Shh, now. Come here, baby."
Snow wraps her arms around Emma. Her knees grow weak and her sobs intensify; prompting David to rush over to them. He supports his little girl, cupping the back of her head as Snow rubs her back. Together, they mutter reassurances and loving words to attempt to soothe her.
Regina takes the opportunity to contact Killian whilst the Charmings have their moment.
"Did you manage to find her?" Killian asks as soon as he picks up the call.
"We did. Snow and David are just calming her down now so we can bring her back."
"Calming her down? Is she all right?"
Regina sighs, eyes darting over Emma's shaking form.
"Too many bottled up emotions have come out at once." Regina explains. "She will be fine soon enough. We just need to give her time."
Killian lets out a harsh breath. "I should have been there for her. I should have-"
"We all should have been more supportive, Killian. Don't blame yourself." Regina says. "Did Henry head off to Granny's before school?"
"Aye. He left just as you called. He has some work in his bag so he will be productive and Granny will keep an eye on him."
"Good. We shouldn't be much longer."
"Thank you, Regina. Truly." Killian sighs.
"It's no trouble, Killian. See you soon."
Regina ends the call and pockets her mobile in her trouser pocket. She moves over to the others. Emma's cries have softened when she suddenly goes utterly limp. David catches her, putting an arm beneath her knees and the other around her back. Snow looks at Regina, worry embedded deep into her features.
The Queen moves up to them and waves her hand over her friend's body.
"Her body is completely exhausted, which I suppose isn't a surprise. She won't wake up for a while."
Snow strokes back Emma's mussed hair, standing close to David's side. She turns to look at Regina and nods strongly. In a matter of seconds, they go from being surrounded by trees to standing in the middle of Emma's living room.
Killian rushes over from the kitchen as David carefully places Emma down on the couch.
"What happened?!" the pirate questions, kneeling beside Emma's head. His hand cups her cheek.
Snow drapes a blanket over Emma's body. "She passed out, Killian. There were a lot of anger fuelled words and then it was like a dam had broken. It seemed as if she would never stop crying."
Killian's jaw clenches and he stands up, moving into the kitchen for a moment. David quickly goes after him, returning together a minute later with his arm around his shoulders. Snow has taken Killian's previous position, eyes fixed on her daughter.
"We should have expected that this would happen." Regina comments. "She has the purest light magic as the product of True Love but the Darkness pushed that away, snuffed it out and changed every perception that Emma had of her own magic. It became more than just a part of her, it controlled her."
Snow brushes Emma's hair away from her face, tenderly tucking the tendrils behind her ear. Her heart breaks at the red and puffy state her eyes have adopted.
"I just can't believe that I didn't realise how bad she has been feeling. I'm her mother, I should know these things!" David places his hand on his wife's shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. She takes a deep breath. "We've put so much on her shoulders - too much! We need to take more of the burden on our shoulders too."
She looks up at Killian who has his gaze fixed on his love. His jaw ticks and his eyes are impossibly sad.
"We need to show her that we truly love her for who she is, no matter what. I thought I had proved that to her."
"You have, Killian." Snow interjects immediately. "You heard Regina. The Darkness controlled her and now she has to find some semblance of normalcy again. She knows that you love her and you know that she certainly loves you."
Killian nods slightly. "It's just... we forgot that when she was Dark, she was still Emma - completely different to how I was. She was Emma and we didn't treat her as such."
They all agree, nodding and looking at each other.
"I'll talk to Emma and apologise for everything. I know what it is like to want to be accepted but people only see what is on the outside. I should have tried to help, not judge her because I saw Darkness. She needs to know that I am sorry."
Snow and David smile at her before exchanging a look and turning back to Emma.
"Do you think she will forgive us? We should have been there more." Killian asks.
Snow strokes Emma's forehead, a weak smile on her lips.
"We just have to have hope that she will." she says, her voice soft. Her thumb strokes gently over the apple of Emma's cheek. "But I have every ounce of faith in her and don't doubt it for a second."
End note: Please review! :)