(Ir)Rational

There wasn't a cat in Hogwarts that Minerva McGonagall didn't know personally. In a school of nearly seven hundred pupils, not including the members of staff, there were currently forty - four cats of varying ages in the castle. That number was somewhat below average, owls really were all the rage.

She made a point of befriending the students who brought in cats, of watching over them as the house - elves helped to feed them, it was one indulgence that Minerva kept quite private but always enjoyed. Particularly when she shifted into her animagus form and did her best to blend in.

As one of the few animagi in Magical Britain, Minerva had thought that actually achieving the transformation would have been the hardest thing. Indeed, when she had finally mastered it and registered, there was the unexpected press attention that Albus had had to help her navigate — being the only female animagus in Britain in the twentieth century so far was front page news for a time. Then she nearly got in a fight with Mrs Norris, barely making it out with both ears and all limbs intact, and realised quickly that just because she looked like a cat did not mean that they would necessarily accept her.

So Minerva learnt to blend in. It was often her way of unwinding, after a long day teaching first years and moody teenagers, to meander through the passageways of the castle that had long been her home. An odd nighttime habit perhaps, but it led to her following young Miss Granger's cat on the fifth consecutive night Crookshanks left the castle. He had, up 'til now, been quite aloof with her and so she thought perhaps they could bond over hunting.

When Crookshanks changed his path from the grounds to closer towards the edges of the forest, her heart sank. Perhaps he was the kind of cat that preferred a nest full of bird's eggs; that was something she herself couldn't stomach. She kept watching, trailing behind as her disappointment shifted to confusion and then something darker.

There was a long moment, after Crookshanks had frozen the Whomping Willow when Minerva did not know what to do.

'Don't treat life — or anything at all — like it's a storm in a teacup,' her mother always used to say. So she grew up never over - exaggerating, always having some sort of plan; she always knew what to do next. Following Crookshanks with no real forethought for what may come next was a first for Minerva. Perhaps it was the Gryffindor blood in her, still coursing strong, but her instincts were screaming that something was wrong so loudly it was a thought that couldn't be ignored.

Freezing the tree was easy enough but then Minerva shifted back into a cat, preferring to have night vision for whatever she may be about to face. She saw the dog waiting patiently at the end of the path, realisation bleeding into rage. Her reaction was so fast that she almost shocked herself; a fluid transition from animal to human echoed by three nonverbal spells, dark navy, red and white lighting the room.

Crookshanks yowled in the large wooden box she had transfigured out of a chair that had been lying on it's side, but she ignored him. All Minerva's attention was on the man, unconscious and tied to the floor by twisted vines that had grown out of the wooden planks underfoot.

Sirius Black.

He looked haggard, unkempt, nothing like the young man she had watched grow up. Except he had not always looked charming, suave or whatever other 'cool' adjective Sirius had always so desperately tried to emulate. Staring at his malnourished appearance she was reminded of the days when he would come to her quarters, long after curfew when his breathing would jerk and stutter, tears pooling in his eyes. Anxiety had always been something the young man had hid well. No one but his closest friends could have ever guessed of the gnawing fear that threatened to consume him, of the panic attacks that Minerva herself had helped to talk him through. Whilst she firmly believed in treating all students fairly, there were favourites that stayed with her throughout her career. Often it was the students that she felt like she was making a difference with.

Sirius had been one of those. It had taken years but he had grown to trust her and then…

Minerva took a slow, deep breath, feeling her heartbeat stutter with panic and guilt. She went through a series of breathing exercises, trying to get her mind calm and clear, the irony of herself feeling anxious thick on her tongue.

She should tell Dumbledore.

She should summon aurors.

Rational thoughts ran through her mind, each discarded quicker than the one before it. For the first time in her living memory, she ignored her head, every sensible plan and let the emotions take over. Now the memories were threatening to take over; she had found him trying to heal an injured leg instead of laughing with his friends at the start-of-term feast in Second Year. When the Potter's love and attention had become overwhelming, Sirius had come to live with her for six weeks before moving into his first apartment. He had shown her his animagus form and she had offered to talk to Dumbledore about hiring him, on an apprenticeship scheme. Even then Filius had been looking to retire and had been overjoyed at the thought of Sirius taking his place.

'I need to be a part of the war…' Sirius had told her reluctantly.

Then he had thrown it all away.

Had he been lying to her even then? These were the questions that had plagued her for over a decade and now she was going to get her answers.

Raising her wand, Minerva cast two spells. The first spell had the vines which had pinned him to the floor writhe and drag him across the floor, then up the wall until he was on his feet. It was not the most elegant of ways to bind someone but she did not want to waste time unnecessarily. It was secure, that was the important thing. He would have to tear the whole wall he was stuck against first before getting free.

The second spell woke him up. She saw panic in his eyes as they darted around, his muscles straining against the restraints and then his body went slack as his eyes landed on her.

"Professor?" His voice was hoarse, it cracked with emotion and Minerva forced herself to breathe again.

"I want to know when Mr Black," she demanded, frustrated when her accent thickened, when she didn't sound as calm and collected as she wished to feel. "When did you decide to betray everything you loved? Everyone who ever cared for you."

"I didn't!"

There was desperation in his voice now, eagerness in his eyes that spoke of madness.

"I swear Professor, I swear. It wasn't me, it was Pettigrew. I'm innocent, there was never a trial, I never got time to explain myself. It was Peter who betrayed us all. He's here, in the castle, I'm going to kill him and then everyone will believe me," Sirius stopped abruptly and Minerva tensed as he looked her dead in the eye. "You think I'm crazy?"

"It is hard, Mr Black, to believe a word you say after such a long Azkaban sentence. Never mind the fact that you are babbling nonsense," her voice was clipped, thankfully restrained as disappointment flooded through her. So his mind was lost, perhaps that was better.

"Minnie, look, just listen -"

"Don't call me that."

Her wand was raised again and but Sirius did not flinch.

"I know I can't ask you to trust me. I know I… I fucked everything up. Trust me, I've had lots of time to think about everything I did wrong. But please, let me try and explain things. Just give me a few minutes to tell you what I know, then you can do whatever you want to me."

In his youth Sirius would have said the end with a leer, the grin which he had perfect in fourth year that made girls and boys alike blush. The man she saw before her looked dejected and she found herself once again ignoring all rationality.

"Talk clearly and quickly Mr Black."

"But no babbling." There was the ghost of a smile, visible only in the brief creases of the corner of his eyes.

How much time passed Minerva wasn't sure but the sky was lightening, from the black of night to an indigo hinting that dawn would soon burst across in the sky in a kaleidoscope of peach, gold and silvery mist coating the ground. The few minutes had led to much longer. Now they were both sat, Sirius still occasionally rubbing his wrists and looking like he might bolt any moment. He was petting Crookshanks with the sort of repetitive movement that told her it was subconscious.

"I didn't know Remus was in the castle," Sirius murmured, "and the rest of the plan… Minnie I can't ask you to do that for me."

She tsked and shook her head.

"You aren't asking me to do anything Sirius. I am telling you what I am doing, whether you care to go along with my actions is your decision."

He gave her a sideways glance and then sighed.

"Thank you. I… I think the revenge is driving me more mad than the Dementors ever did."

Carefully Minerva placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You will transform. We will go to my quarters, where you can eat and get clean. I will see to this rat, but more importantly I promise I will see that your name gets cleared."

The relief was palpable on his face.

"And Dumbledore? Or what if Remus smells me?"

"It will be okay," she said simply, because she didn't have any answers or any hint of an idea what to do if Dumbledore or Remus stood in her way. That was the problem with thinking her heart, she thought ruefully, it left her head playing catch up.

"But Sirius, if you come with me it's because you trust me. No gallivanting around the castle on some harebrained scheme."

"That doesn't sound like me at all. Okay wow, your glare has not changed one bit. I promise Professor, I'm exhausted and starving. I'm so grateful for your help I want to cry. Of course, I feel guilty for involving you now but I hadn't thought about Harry," Sirius paused for a very long moment, staring down at Crookshanks in his lap. "I don't want to go mad. So I'm happy to… to try something else."

She squeezed his shoulder, for a moment unable to speak as she forced herself to not shed a tear. One of them had to be strong.

"You can call me Minerva, it's been quite a few years since I was your Professor."

"So Minnie? You're saying I can call you Minnie?"

"No Mr Black, that is not -"

"James would freak out." Sirius laughed unexpectedly, throwing his head back and Crookshanks hissed. "That's going to be one of the first things I tell Remus too, I'm pretty sure he bet me two Galleons that you would never let me."

She tried not to smile and when he had transformed as sunrise streaked over the sky, following close at her side as they walked, Crookshanks running ahead to go back into the castle, the mood was back to being fraught with tension. Minerva was well aware that it could go wrong at any moment - and yet every instinct, every rational thought was telling her that this was the right thing to do.

She was going to save Sirius, just as she had so many times before. She was going to save him.

A/N: This was written for Round One of the 'One Character Only' Competition run by AlwaysPadfoot.

Prompts used were 'teacup', 'anxiety' and 'nest'.