Bacta gel still confuses her, even though she feels like it shouldn't. She can fix a ship and basically anything else, she can build a speeder, she can use the Force, she can fly, but give her some medicated goop and she becomes all thumbs. It's not helping that Poe has removed his shirt so she can address the wound more easily—him sitting before her bare chested is just…distracting.

The MedBay is small and more akin to a glorified medkit than an actual treatment facility, which is just as well since it means that it more or less leaves Rey and Poe to tend to his wound themselves. Frankly, Rey doesn't want to deal with anyone else, still feeling jumpy and protective from the earlier events, so she locates the supplies she needs and concentrates on applying them. Between that and trying to ignore the way seeing so much of his flesh is making her cheeks turn pink, she has effective enough distraction to keep her thoughts from roaming to those that will provoke the earlier anxious feelings.

At some point Poe laughs at her ministrations and offers to deal with it himself but she's having none of it so long as it allows her to touch him and remind herself that he's real and safe next to her. And if she happens to sit a little closer to him than what is strictly necessary or would be deemed unsuspicious to an outsider, so be it. She can't find it in herself to care, really. All she can think about is how her blood ran cold when she saw him get hit with the blaster bolt. It almost felt like the moment she couldn't find his pulse when he was still strapped into the gunner's seat.

Stop it. Those thoughts aren't helping.

"I could just Force heal this— it will be a lot faster for us both." She offers it seriously while she tries to dab a sufficient but not excessive amount of the gel on the open wound.

"No." The word is more forceful than she's used to hearing from him. They'd had terse, charged exchanges before but this is different; the energy is different and it makes her look up at him in confusion. "There's no way you're fully recovered from healing me last night and that fancy blackout trick must have taken a lot out of ya. Don't exert yourself over a blaster scratch. I'm a simple man; the old fashioned way is fine."

With extra care she wraps his arm with a bandage and looks up to meet his eyes.

"You're all set."

"Thanks, Jedi. You're a regular medic now." She hands him his shirt and he begins to pull it back on. "We should go find some food and meet up with Keeter for that drink."

It's a short walk from the MedBay to the small area they consider the mess hall but Rey decides to use the time to ask the question that has been on her mind for some time now.

"Poe, is something wrong?"

His brows furrow as he looks over at her. "Why would something be wrong?"

"You've just been acting strangely since we got here. If I did something—"

He stops, pulling her to stop and turn to look at him. "Nothing is wrong, Rey. I promise." He glances around them then and Rey notices the couple people milling about. "Can we talk about this later— just the two of us?"

She'd protest but she can feel his discomfort clear enough that it could very well be her own.

"Sure."

After eating they find that Keeter's quarters are only marginally larger and more elaborate than the ones in which they've been situated, which seems to fit the man just fine. He does manage to have a bottle of whiskey that Poe smirks at and proclaims 'the good stuff' before the Captain pulls it open. Once they've all taken a glass, Rey's less full since she tells them she really hasn't drank before, Keeter and Poe fill her in on what happened with the two traitors earlier that day.

According to Keeter they'd transferred from another base a few weeks back and now he's finding there's a high likelihood they'd been sending information to the First Order when at the other bases, since breeches of confidentiality seem to have followed in their wake. The men had opened fire while Keeter gave Poe an update on the status of the uprisings and the rest of their journey to the Finalizer. He hypothesizes Poe was their target due to his rank in the Resistance.

"Luckily they were shit shots," Poe adds with a shrug of his injured arm and a smirk.

"Yeah, point blank range and they still couldn't get you." Keeter motions his glass toward Rey.

"Don't know if that's fair, though, Keets— a woman who can best Kylo Ren doesn't exactly have an equal match in any fight." He elbows her gently with a lopsided grin and a wink before looking back to the Captain with a serious expression. "Do you think they were able to get any information to the First Order about our mission?"

Keeter shakes his head. "I kept it quiet; no one knew you were even coming until you landed and they don't know anything other than that you're in a First Order ship. Those guys were in the hangar the entire time since you landed— they didn't have time to transmit anything— so you haven't been compromised. It was close, though." The Captain scrubs a hand over his face. "Enough of that— Rey, you were going to tell me how you learned to fly."

She doesn't remember agreeing to that.

"I built a flight simulator growing up on Jakku."

"Must have been a good one— even Dameron seems impressed with your skill." He gives her another smile that she tries to reciprocate but only marginally succeeds at since she feels so awkward right now. She doesn't want to talk about scavenging and the loneliness that went along with her life on Jakku.

"Only begrudgingly. BB-8's sung her praises enough times." He rolls his eyes but she can tell by the faint smile with it that it doesn't actually carry any bite to it.

"Yeah, Dameron here tells me BB-8 is obsessed with you."

"I don't know about obsessed."

"Nah, Jedi, BB's obsessed. You're probably its favorite person, other than me, of course."

"Well, BB's one of my favorites, too."

"Why are you and the droid so close? I mean, I kind of get his weird preoccupation," Keeter motions at Poe, "but what about you?"

"Uh, I don't know. I guess because BB-8 was my first friend." She doesn't miss the surprised look on the Captain's face nor the way Poe's hand twitches toward hers momentarily. "A Teedo had caught BB-8 in a net, probably planning to sell it for parts."

"And you chased Teedo away and took BB-8 in." She looks at Poe in a mixture of relief and surprise, her thoughts lifting when she sees his warm smile before he turns his gaze back to his friend. "Little buddy told me all about it: how she saved it, even refused to sell it for a huge amount and helped get BB-8 back to the Resistance."

"Well, I didn't make it all the way to that."

"Right, I forgot; you ended up besting Kylo Ren and helping bring down Starkiller base instead."

"Oh, that's all?" Keeter chuckles at Poe's summary.

She doesn't really understand why he finds it funny but she feels more than sufficiently self-conscious and welcomes Poe saying he's tired and announcing they should call it a night. The walk back is short and silent until they reach the door to her room and she glances at the bandaged burn on his arm. She doesn't give him much of a choice and pulls him into her room for her to change the bandage. Unfortunately she hadn't thought it through— that she would have Poe Dameron, Resistance pilot and man she's completely confused about, sitting on her bed without a shirt while she tries to concentrate on bandaging his arm.

Her eye catches on the silver chain around his neck that she had noticed earlier and the metal circle dangling from it.

"What is that?"

"Hmmm?"

"Your necklace."

"Oh, uh," he clears his throat uncomfortably, "it's my mother's wedding ring. After she died my father gave it to me and I haven't taken it off since. I guess I like to think it brings me luck."

"That's beautiful." They fall into silence that's not entirely uncomfortable but is thick with the events of the past days until he breaks it.

"Sorry about Keeter, he means well but he doesn't get it when he's prying."

"It's OK; I know most people wouldn't have any trouble with those questions. He didn't mean any harm. I'm just still not sure how to respond without people looking at me differently, or at least any more differently than they already do."

"You don't want their pity."

"Or cruelty. There's already enough fear and expectation that comes with being Skywalker's student."

"I can understand that. I grew up as the child of a Rebellion pilot and a Pathfinder; people make a lot of assumptions about you." He pauses, looking as though he's just realized something. "That's why you don't tell people Luke's your father, isn't it?"

"There are a lot of reasons why but that is one of them. I've been alone all my life, always wanting to belong. But I don't want it to be just because people know I'm 'Rey Skywalker'. I want to actually belong somewhere."

"You do belong, Rey. You're part of the Resistance now; you belong with us." She knows the words are sincere but she still doesn't quite agree with them. Before her, Poe shifts so he's now facing her, one leg pulled up on the bed. "Rey, about your question earlier: I'm sorry if I made you think I was pushing you away or something. I just didn't know how to act in front of all of them after everything that's happened. We never really talked about it and I'm not really used to dating anyone—"

Her eyebrows must shoot toward her hairline in surprise because he stops short and his upper chest and neck begin to color with a creeping flush. He wears the expression of a child who's just been caught.

"Dating? I don't remember you asking me."

Quickly he regains his composure and reaches out to tuck a lock of her loose hair behind her ear. "Well, I did ask you on a date." He gives her a lopsided smile to show he's teasing her to cover his slip up.

"I don't think the two are quite the same, Pilot."

"Well, I didn't really think there was much question given the past couple days. I mean, you've saved my life at least three times now— I figure that means we're at least dating." She tries to ignore how her heart flip flops in her chest at the words.

"You must have very odd courting traditions on Yavin IV."

"Mmmm, we do. If you save my life one more time I'm pretty sure that means we're married, so be careful." He takes her hand and looks up at her through his damn, beautifully dark eyelashes.

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind." She's smiling enough that it almost hurts.

"Do you want to— date, that is? Or whatever people call it?"

"Wow, I don't think you could have sounded more like an old man."

"OK, so I'm not very good at this particular part."

"Aren't you supposed to be charming or something?"

"I am charming and you know it." It's completely silent as he inches closer to her and takes both of her hands in his. "Rey, you already know I'm drawn to you. I want to be with you. Despite our rocky start and my clumsiness, I think we could be really happy together. Do you want that, too?"

She can tell he's holding his breath and oddly, she finds it adorable. Poe Dameron, cocky Resistance pilot, is nervous about asking to date her. It makes her want to laugh with giddiness but she settles on an excited smile.

"Yes."

The tension in his face disappears and is replaced by a smile. "Really?"

"Yes, really."

Now she does laugh until it's cut off by his lips on hers. They're pulled closer to each other as he moves his hands to her waist and she knots hers in his hair. It's not exactly clear how it happens, she's distracted by the way he deepens the kiss and she responds, but she finds herself in his lap. Usually being this close to someone else would bother her but she surprises herself by wanting more of it. When the kiss breaks she almost whines at the loss.

"It's not fair to ask me something like that when you're not wearing a shirt."

The smile he gives her is salacious and bright as he raises his eyebrows at her. "I'll have to remember that." They both laugh at the words until she tries and fails to stifle a yawn. "I should let you get some sleep. The mechanics still need to talk with you before the repairs are finished."

He begins to lift her off his lap but she slides her arms around his neck to stop him. "Stay, please? After everything, I don't know if I can believe you're OK unless I can see you." She knows she's blushing at the admission and she hopes he doesn't turn down her request.

"Of course." When she doesn't move, he quietly laughs. "You're still going to have to move for us to sleep; it won't be comfortable otherwise."

The dip in the mattress of a second person as he lays down is still new but something she already finds herself adjusting to. There's comfort in having him there with her and not just because she's nervous over the recent dangers they've faced. After a life of solitude and then a short stint of overwhelming amounts of people, having one person this close is satisfying in a way she never thought it would be. Even the men she'd spent the night with over the course of her life never gave her this feeling of warmth. So she revels in it, pressing close to his bare chest with his arms around her, and drifts off to sleep.

He wakes with a start and glances around in alarm, trying to remember where he is. The weight on his arm and against his chest anchors him with the reminder that he's in a borrowed room at the check point with Rey asleep beside him. It's difficult to see the chronometer from where he is without disturbing her but he manages to crane his neck just so to spy that he's only been asleep for a couple hours. He could deal with several more like this.

In the quiet stillness he lets his mind roam back over the events of the past few days. What a strange whirlwind they've been. When he thinks of just the past day cycle he can feel his chest constrict, thinking of how close he came to his own demise. Really, he had met it. Should have met it. But didn't meet it…

because of her.

His gaze falls to her sleeping form next to him. She's so peaceful in her sleep; so free from the stress and traumas of her life. It makes her look younger, though really it's probably just that she looks her age and he's painfully aware of it right now.

Her age. Twelve years his junior. He'll never hear the end of it. He can already hear the jokes and ribs from the others about being a perverted old man because he's thirty-two and going after a woman of twenty. He's surprised that Keeter hasn't already cracked some of them. But he doesn't care as longs she doesn't. As long as they leave her alone it's fine.

It's ridiculous for him to feel a want to shield her from it. He knows that. If there is anything in this galaxy he is certain of, it's that Rey can take care of and absolutely protect herself and she can do it much better than he can. But she shouldn't have to defend herself from hurtful gossip and cutting words that are because of him.

He was my first friend.

He thought he could hear his heart breaking when she spoke the words earlier and he definitely wanted to smack himself for all the times he's rolled his eyes at her and BB-8's closeness. The little droid hadn't told him that particular detail, though he feels confident BB-8 knew, but that doesn't excuse his own callousness. All this time he's inflicted more pain than he really had ever considered. He's an idiot—a shameful idiot— and he won't let anyone hurt her like that over him. Navigating social dynamics like that still clearly aren't her forte and there's absolutely no reason she should have to waste energy on it because people want to gossip about him.

"Why are you thinking about all of this?" Her sleepy voice comes with her breath against his chest and it surprises him; he didn't know she was awake. He also didn't know she was reading his thoughts. "Sorry, it's harder for me to control what I hear when I'm half-asleep and your thoughts are so loud."

"You're the only person to ever tell me my thoughts are loud, you know that?"

"You haven't spent much time around Force users, then."

"Not until recently. I suppose I'll have to get used to it, though, since I plan to spend a lot more time around Jedi than before."

"Then Master Luke will need to teach you how to quiet your thoughts so they don't wake me."

"That's a conversation I don't look forward to."

Undoubtedly the Jedi Master knows of Poe's reputation by now or, if he doesn't, he'll find out about it shortly, either from gossip or the General. That thought suddenly makes him desperately wish that he had not been such a consummate flirt for so many years. While no one would ever say that he's wronged a woman, they will say that he's shown interest in many. It will make it much more difficult for him to impress upon the Jedi Master that those habits have changed now that he's seen what his life could look like. Because yes, he has seen what it could be.

After the darkness had consumed him he found himself in a dream, though it felt more real than even many of his memories.

He's walking down the stairs of his father's house on Yavin 4, the stairwell and walls exactly as they were the last time he visited. When he reaches the bottom of the stairs he turns into the living area and sees a scene familiar to him in this reality: his father and grandfather talking and laughing with Rey, who sits nearby.

He can't help but light up with happiness at the sight. Rey fits so naturally with them and he knows that every day she's happy to be accepted into this family and surrounded with such warmth. She tells him each day when he wakes up next to her and asks how she is. The fact that they can build that together brings him a greater sense of satisfaction and accomplishment than he could ever have dreamed. There could be no mission possible that can compare to the one he has embarked on with her.

When he had gasped back to life and found himself looking up into hazel eyes that were filled with concern and relief, he knew it was much more than a dream. It was a possibility. It had to be. And it was one he wanted.

It must be a possibility. It's that hope that's brought him sudden resolve that his past will not reflect his future habits— not if it means that he could have a shot at that image in his mind. He's used to making quick decisions with finality and this is no exception: he knows he wants to be with her and whatever that means or requires is what he'll make happen.

"I'm a grown woman." Her words shake him from his thoughts— ones that he hopes weren't so loud that she would pick up on them. "Luke will just have to accept whatever happens; it isn't his choice."

"I know and I'm sure he does, too. It doesn't mean I'm looking forward to being under his scrutiny, especially given my past…indiscretions with women."

"How many women?"

"What?"

"How many women have you slept with?" He's now deeply regretting mentioning anything about his reputation. This is not a conversation he really wants to have when he's still sorting everything that's happened and it's all so new.

"Do we really have to talk about this right now? We're on a dangerous mission and I've already died once on it. I'd rather not make it twice."

"I just want to know. If we both survive I want to know."

He hears the unspoken words in her statement; the ones that are underlined with fear.

"Uh, I don't know— a good amount. The amount a man my age would have."

"That's not a number. It's that many?" The slight disappointment and self consciousness seep into her voice as she talks. "Are any of them on the base?"

"Some, yes."

"Who? I don't want to run into one of them and be surprised if they say something about you."

"I don't think I should tell you who they are, buttercup."

"Why?"

"Because I've seen what Luke can do, I've seen what Kylo Ren can do, and I've seen what you can do. Telling my Jedi girlfriend, who has arguably the best hand-to-hand combat skills in the whole galaxy next to Luke, the names of women I've slept with doesn't seem like a good idea. A Jedi versus a regular human is not exactly a fair fight— especially not with a lightsaber."

"I'm not a Jedi yet; I'm only an Apprentice. Regardless, Jedi don't seek revenge and we control or release jealousy."

"Uh huh, I get that, but I still don't wanna tempt fate."

"But what if one of them says something to me?"

"I don't think any of them will. It didn't mean anything to me or any of them, I promise. Most of them are dating someone now anyway. It's more likely that people will comment on our age difference and they'll say that to me; not you."

She looks at him confused still so he continues.

"I'm twelve years older than you. If anyone is going to focus on anything, it's that. And if there's anyone they'll think is devious, it's me."

"Oh." She hesitates a moment before her face splits with a radiant smile. "Did you just call me your girlfriend?"

He doesn't bother suppressing his groan, though it is only half-hearted. "Don't make me regret that." He kisses the tip of her nose and smiles down at her before he changes the subject. "I'd ask who on base you've slept with but I already know the answer."

"What?" Her voice squeaks in surprise.

"Did you forget that I caught you trying to sneak back to your quarters just a few nights ago?"

"Well, no. But that doesn't explain—"

"People talk, Rey. Things like that don't stay a secret, especially not when you're the only Jedi Apprentice on base and are something of a hero and novelty to everyone."

"Oh."

"Even outside the rumor mill I'd still at least know about Seth: sleeping with you was practically a life goal for him. He made sure to tell anyone near him about it."

He's not Force sensitive but he can feel her sudden mortification and anger from the way her muscles suddenly become very rigid.

"He told people?" Poe only nods. "I don't understand. He just bumped into me at a party— he spilled a drink on me."

"Seth has spilled a lot of drinks on a lot of women; it's his fallback to start a conversation— he's pretty bad at it otherwise. He did that because he wanted to make sure that he slept with Luke Skywalker's student but probably was terrified to talk to you."

"I saw him before we left— he had a bruise on his jaw. He was obviously trying to avoid me."

"Yeah, I'm not very proud of that."

She's about to ask what he means but then the image of their confrontation is being projected so strongly from him that she doesn't need to.

"You hit him?"

He sighs heavily, bracing himself for the inevitable fallout that his confession will bring. "Yeah. I think General Organa is gonna be mad at me about that for a long time. I couldn't let him go unscathed after what he did and said."

"Wait, you tell me you're worried I'll go after the women you've slept with but you've actually punched a guy because he slept with me?"

"What? No." He's grasping desperately for words, confused about what she means when it suddenly strikes him very forcefully. "I didn't punch him because he slept with you; I punched him because he endangered the squadron by disobeying his orders and he talked about you like you were just some conquest to be won. It was just…insulting."

"You know what I think?" He looks down to see a sly smile across her features. "I think you wouldn't punch someone over what he said about me if you didn't like me. I think that you liked me, even then, more than you would admit. I think that—"

Her words are cut off when his lips are urgently pressing against hers as though he'll suffocate otherwise. When he pulls back, it's only barely and his lips ghost over hers when he speaks.

"Yeah."

"What?"

"Yeah, you're right. I had to come back from the dead to figure it out but yeah, you're right: I wanted you even when I wouldn't admit it. I couldn't stand the idea of someone hurting you." The tendril of hair that always seems to fall in her eyes catches his attention and he brushes it back, thinking of how to make sense of all this to her. "I know you don't need to be protected— hell, I'm scared of the things I know you can do— but it doesn't mean that I won't want to set someone straight when you're not there to do it yourself."

"I know."

"Is that OK?"

"Yes."

"Good." He scoots closer to her, moving to carefully kiss her cheek with his eyes closed. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired but OK." He notes with a certain sense of satisfaction the breathlessness of her voice that has nothing to do with fatigue.

"It's essentially the middle of the night by standard time; you should go back to sleep." He knows his voice is a husky timbre as he says the words before placing another soft kiss to her jaw. He continues to pepper her jawline with kisses, only stopping to ask, "are you comfortable?"

"Yes— after years on Jakku I can sleep just about anywhere. But you're distracting."

He hears the soft, strangled groan that he knows she was trying but failed to suppress. It almost causes him to chuckle but he stops himself just in time, knowing that her reaction to that would not be positive. The urge to antagonize her just slightly, like he's so used to doing even if it is in a new way, is strong and he can't help but indulge it a little before letting her fall back asleep.

"I don't know that I can do anything about that; you'll just have to learn to work around your intense attraction to me."

"Oh kriff, really, are you always like this?"

"When a beautiful woman who likes me enough to repeatedly save my life is in bed with me, yes."

"Is it ever going to change?"

He doesn't think he's imagining the other, unspoken question that goes with the one she's just voiced so he locks his eyes to hers. "Absolutely not. So you'll have to learn to deal with it."

She lets out a mock groan but he doesn't miss the slight smile that goes with it. "Even in public?"

"Jedi, I'm going to want to shout it from the rooftops when we get back to base. Being publicly affectionate is the least of it." He places a soft kiss on her cheek then. "I want everyone to know just how crazy I am about you. So see? You don't need to worry about any women saying anything to you; everyone will know exactly where my loyalty lies. Is that OK?"

She nods around a yawn before scooting closer to him so she can mold herself against him with her ear pressed to his chest as it was before. "We'll talk about it later."

He knows he should let her go to sleep but there's one thing gnawing at his mind still.

"Rey?"

"Yes?" The word comes out with an edge of exhaustion and he knows that she'll fall asleep any minute.

"Thank you."

She perks up at the words and he can sense her confusion. "For what?"

"For caring enough about me to always come back to save me each time. Other than my parents I don't know that I've ever had someone truly care for me that much."

There's a shift next to him and then he feels her press a kiss to his collar bone. "Thank you for wanting to be saved."

The smirk he feels cross his face at her reply stays long after he hears her breath even out with sleep. There's so much that he wants to say to her still but he contents himself with being here with her and embracing the gift he's been given. As he drifts off to unconsciousness he knows he's still smiling to himself.