A/N: Congratz to Tee Hill for being the 200th reviewer for 'Paradise I Wish, Truly I Do' xx Alexis

As I stare out of the penthouse office window overlooking the city of Seattle, seeing everything and nothing at the same time, due to being lost in my own thoughts. I asked myself once again "Was I That Gullible, back then?", The answer, unfortunately, was yes, yes I was!

I was then but not any longer, not now. Here I was back in Seattle, back in the same office, after five years of being away. But I couldn't help but remember all that happened back then, if only it had been just a case of me disappearing, that would have been easy. But my luck was never that good and changes had started within me, unknown to any, or so I thought.

Memory

Turning from staring out at the Seattle skyline blindly, I was so annoyed with myself, letting one use and coerce me, the other manipulate, oh and as it turned out, dazzle me! Why? Because at the time I thought I loved one, even though I felt him to be better than me, the other I thought was a friend, my best friend! Me the stupid lowly human, I gave them far too much rope and they tried to hang me with it.

I had given them both my love in different ways and they used it against me, how could they? How could there be two bad seeds in an area as small as Forks, Washington? One bare faced liar and master manipulator and One sick twisted son of a bitch! I had nearly lost everything including my life and for what?

So they could go on playing supernatural war games and taking pot shots at each other. I was just the poor sap who got in their way. The cracks had started to show in Edwards and my relationship, especially when he wouldn't let me turn after James bit me. I was starting to see the light then and suddenly he was more attentive, more possessive and overbearing.

That was when I started to lose some self-will, but his dazzling only worked when we were together, it didn't take long to work that out. So I spent more time with Charlie, which meant more time with the Quileute tribe on the reservation, thus way more time with Jacob. This I had thought was good because Edward could not get to me here without breaking the treaty, but I had unwittingly given Jacob free access to me and he used it well.

It was around that time I started receiving texts from an then unknown vampire. His first directive was to tell Edward and Jacob nothing, but Charlie everything. Jacob being included in this was a shock at the time, why not him? I started to pay more attention when I visited and also tried to spend time with his other friends, not always being alone with him.

Jacob was always very vitriolic in his hatred of the Cullens, but he had started to use my relationship with them against me. Belittling me at every turn and condemning my choices. Trying to control me more than even Edward. Becoming a wolf had damaged him more than the tribe were aware, he wasn't just bitter he was cruel and selfish with it.

When away from both Jake and Edward I would take notes so to speak, about what I'd said before I was dazzled into compliance or browbeaten into thinking myself not good enough, insisting I should give myself physically to Jacob, as no one else would want me, after all, he'd told me even Edward pushes away my advances. Although I was unaware of either's interference at first, it slowly became obvious over time.

My mystery texting friend told me about that too, Edward couldn't get complete control because whatever stopped him reading my mind also stopped him totally controlling it too. While Jake had been using his Alpha timbre on me, although not the Alpha wolf it still resonated with others and made him able to get his own way most of the time, it was his birthright after all. Once again my mind's glitch was holding him at bay too.

The bombshell was that Alice couldn't see me at all, she lied to everyone about that. She only saw me in relation to others decisions! Why? What did she have to gain by lying?

A throat clearing beside me had broken me out of my reverie, just like it had five years ago. But back then it had been a pity party. Mr Parker, Brian he had introduced himself as, giving me the old, Mr Parker was my father, speech, back then, now he was older and I hadn't changed after the first 2 years away.

He was an associate of Mr Jason Jenks, then and now, but as they, the Cullens used him it was decided the less he knew the better, for everyone.

"Well it's done Ms Swan, here are all your documents, you have everything you should need including a new bank account," he told me and I smiled, this was almost word for word what he'd said all those years ago.

Memory

"Well it's done Ms Contadino, here are all your documents, you have everything you should need including a new bank account," he explained to me.

My new name was decided by my father and myself and I was now, Marie Contadino, Isabella Swan no longer existed. It was one of those family secrets, not really a secret just rarely mentioned and one I had never seen the need to divulge to the people of Forks, thank goodness.

Between the First and Second World War my grandma Helen Swan, nee Farmer, well her family had changed their name from the Italian Contadino to the English literal translation of Farmer. By then they were fourth generation American and felt it was the right move for them. Hence the brown eyes and hair that Charlie and I share, but unlike him, I didn't get the olive skin, Renee's genes saw to that.

Even with the name change, the family had never totally lost their roots and with relatives abroad, they all spoke Italian to some degree and passed it down to their children and in my case grandchildren. Something else I failed to mention to the Cullens or the Quileute, this was why I struggled with Spanish in school, I automatically thought Italian first and often mixed up the two in translation. It's strange how I seemed to have withheld vital information, that ended up being my lifeline.

As I left the office two people awaited me, Charlotte and Peter Whitlock, back then it had been my father Chief Charlie Swan and my newest friend Peter. The Cullens all assumed that Charlie knew nothing of them and the supernatural world, this was a lie, he did, in fact, know more than they knew. His friends were from a shifter tribe and he had known Peter since he was a young man himself, as had his father Geoffrey and grandfather Arthur before him.

Long ago recollection, Passed down parent to child

Arthur Swan had found the dismembered body of Peter late one night, he had a job as a night watchman on the weekends to supplement his meagre savings as a student. He had heard a commotion and gone to investigate, saw Peter being ripped apart and the building next door to his being set alight.

As they left laughing he had run to Peter, throwing his body parts onto a tarpaulin and dragged him to a hatch in the floor, below was the river. Diving in after the body which sunk immediately, he brought him to land one bit at a time. He didn't know why it was important that this demon survives but he knew he had to try.

Guessing by the twitching moving parts that they would rejoin he rebuild Peter, talking to him all the time and saying he hoped Peter would not kill him when he recovered, as he now owed him his immortal life. Still unsure what Peter was, he heard the one word that rectified that as he fused Peter's head to his torso.

"Blood, I need blood!" The vampire said,

So doing the only thing he could Arthur slashed his own palm and held it above the mouth of the still half rebuilt body. It was not enough to satisfy but was enough to aid the rejoining of his other limbs. As soon as he was able Peter leapt to his feet and ran away from Arthur, his saviour, shouting over his shoulder

"Stay Please I'll be back soon" and a half-naked Peter disappeared into the night.

Arthur had flopped back onto the banking and rolled to his side heaving out the contents of his stomach. Once recovered he ripped a piece from his shirt and wrapped it around his still bleeding palm, still hardly able to accept what had happened was real. Less than 10 minutes had passed before a fully dressed Peter returned.

Peter had proceeded to explain everything to Arthur, warning him he could tell no one, until he had a son and to pass down the story to him alone. Telling him one day he would repay the Swan family for the help Arthur had given him.

So after he agreed Peter asked to see his hand and with one swipe of his tongue sealed and healed the slash, leaving behind a scar, not unlike Bella's own, cold to the touch and slightly sparkly. Otherwise just a normal looking scar, unlike Bella's which was a bite mark. With every successive generation, Peter was introduced and accepted as the Swans guardian.

I had returned for one reason only, my father was ill and had asked for me to come. He as well as Peter and Charlotte knew I was no longer an ordinary human, the venom from James' bite had never fully been removed, from my blood yes, but not from my tissues, organs or bones. It had slowly over the course of two years halted my ageing and changed my DNA enough to make me neither one thing or the other.

I was stronger, faster and tougher, but my heart still beat, and I still had blood in my veins. This really was the youth serum that humans craved, but it also drew vampires and all other supernatural's to me like flies to dog shit. So much so I had to learn to fight and eventually kill to stay alive myself, Peter was my trainer, mentor and shoulder to cry on back then, he had known this would happen, he'd gotten one of his little feelings after I was bitten.

The only good thing was that it also enabled me to use my, as I thought then glitch to defend myself. It was what Peter called a shield, both physical and mental, I was damn near invulnerable while it was deployed. But it drained me to use the physical aspect so, that was why I needed to learn to fight. If I'd known back then what I do now, I'd have run back to Phoenix as if my ass was on fire.

Memory

I had been unaware of any of that, but it was Charlie who called Peter, only to find he was already on his way. The Cullens were hunting and I had said I would go shopping for fishing gear with Charlie to Port Angeles, some father, daughter bonding and Edward had allowed it. That really rankled with both of us, who did he think he was to allow me to do anything, especially with my own father.

Peter and I were introduced, in Elwha, a small community on the road to P. A. Somewhere that neither Edward or Jacob would ever go, this was when I learned that Edward, was just playing with his singer, trying to prove he was strong enough to resist where all others failed, whilst riling up Jacob Black at the same time, threatening to bite me or drain me.

Peter told us Edward was a user, starting with Carlisle, his sire. Who only ever wanted a happy, loving family, he himself told me this and Edward used him for his connections and his bank balance. He was never the son Carlisle and Esme hoped he would be, he tried endlessly to split them apart. Making up wicked thoughts for her and telling Carlisle in supposed confidence.

He was unable to comprehend the bond of mates, that Esme held way more sway over Carlisle than he ever would or could. Edward was too mentally and physically immature to grasp the obvious, even with his mind reading ability he saw nothing beyond his own greed and avarice. As the years passed Carlisle and Esme threw themselves into their work, hobbies and love for each other, unwittingly leaving him to his own devices.

He had been livid when Carlisle saved Rose and had tried to drive her away too. Using his knowledge of her tragic end against her. Never letting Carlisle see that vicious side of him, but Rose was tenacious and hated him, she stayed to give Carlisle the love and respect he deserved. Acting as a buffer between them, Carlisle was so honest and kind it would never have crossed his mind that Edward was that cruel or that disloyal to him.

Things became harder for Edward when Emmett arrived, although happy go lucky and normally genial Emmett had Edwards measure right away and used his own gift against him. He showed Edward graphically what he'd do to him if he ever threatened Rose or Esme again. Both Rose and Emmett tried to fill the void for Carlisle and Esme, but as was their way, they did not really see Edward clearly, the firstborn son could do no wrong.

I had to return as Bella Swan because Marie Contadino was a wanted woman worldwide and I wouldn't bring that to my father's door. I had slowly become an assassin, killing for money. Shit, I was killing them anyway to survive so why not get paid at the same time. Even the Volturi had used my services, Ironic I know, but they knew I would keep the secret. I was perfect really for the job, who'd suspect the human, very few till it was too late.

I had made a few good friends along the way, a couple who should have been marks, but I always checked carefully and if they were innocent I stayed my hand. So I kind of followed in my father's footsteps and was in the Law Enforcement business, I just got paid a damn sight more.

I had also gathered a strange array of weapons over the years. Knives whose blades were infused with venom, others with real werewolf blood, hollow point bullets filled with venom or bullets made from werewolf claws. None of that Hollywood crap, I literally used their enemies against them.

Memory

I had just managed to get away with Peter and his mate Charlotte's help before Edward or Jacob could finalise their grand plans for me. Edward and Alice had been organising my wedding, a wedding I knew nothing about, Shit! he hadn't even asked me just went ahead and planned it and she was helping him. Why?.

Of course, Peter told me, Edward would have to pretend to be devastated on our honeymoon when he lost control in the heat of the moment and drained me whilst we were having sex, instigated against his better judgement by me of course. Sure blame the victim!

Jacob knew all of this as Edward revelled in telling him personally, their one-upmanship was totally out of control. He, on the other hand, was going to invite Charlie and me to a bonfire and barbeque to celebrate god only knows what, two days before said wedding, where I would be tragically attacked by a bear and dragged away presumed dead.

In the guise of searching for my body, Jacob would retrieve me from Paul and his friend from one of the guardian bear tribes, violate me repeatedly and then kill me at his leisure, so he would be the only one to have had my body and Edward would lose my blood, this he told Edward with apparent joy at the prospect. What neither knew was that Peter was at every meeting they had, his gift had him in the right place every time and having no scent kept him undetected.

So with Charlie's help I disappeared the night before the bonfire and two before the wedding, we were having a meal together in Port Angeles, supposedly a father and daughter tradition that Charlie made up for their benefit. Then as he returned home, I was whisked away by Peter and Charlotte to Seattle and freedom.

Charlie had turned up at the bonfire alone, saying I had last minute plans to attend to, thus putting the kibosh on Jacobs plans and if he went to our house looking, well tough, I wasn't there. He would assume I was with the Cullens, the Cullens thought I was at the reservation for two days with Emily, Kim and Leah, planning Kim's wedding. Edward wasn't happy about this but couldn't do much about it and of course, Alice couldn't see anything, so couldn't tell him it was all a big fat lie.

Saturday, the day of the wedding we are both in Seattle and I was about to start my new life. When Charlie returned to Forks he'll be feigning having any knowledge of a wedding. After all, what girl gets married without her mother being invited or her father being asked, far less informed. By the time they work it out I would be long gone.

This will put Edward and Alice on the spot Peter says so that she will then break her silence and tell all she knows. How Edward threatened to inform every vampire he ever knew that Jasper was the fabled 'Major' and then his enemies would start turning up at their door. Eventually, Carlisle would throw them both out because Esme would get hurt, Edward would make sure of it himself he had told her.

But why didn't she tell all of this to Jasper before now? he's her mate, isn't he? He would be able to protect the family if anyone came calling. Peter and Charlotte informed me he could do it blindfolded with one arm behind his back, no problem. We were never really friends Alice and I, but to not help me, to aid Edward in... well facilitating my death! What did she have to gain?

These thoughts niggled away at me for days before I finally asked Peter, what did Alice have to gain by lying to the family? and How could she possibly benefit from my death? His answer was to my mind preposterous.

So while I was running to Italy confused and scared, Edward finally got thrown out of the family with nothing but what he arrived with, after Carlisle heard all he'd been doing since Esme, then Rose were changed. My revenge would have been better if I'd seen it happen though.