Debt

Part 1 of 2

Picks up after the episode Home Invasions where Amanda gets into trouble with Murphy for not paying the money she owes him. Reviews appreciated: )

Amanda doubled over in pain. The blow came fast and unexpected, even though she was a cop and trained for situations like these, there was no way of knowing or even a hint of a suspected oncoming blow. She crumbled and fell to the cold, hard and wet ground, the two men standing tall hovering above her like dark shadows in the night.

"I want my money, bitch. You owe me ten grand." one of the men grunted as he kicked her once more in the stomach. "You better have it before the weekend or next time you won't see me coming." he slapped hard in the face and she could almost instantly feel her eye swell up and her head pound from it's force.

"I... I'll get you... your money." she gasped between breaths, spitting blood as she spoke, her lower lip stinging and burning from being split by a deep cut from an earlier blow.

"You better, you fucking cunt." he kicked her again and again, hearing her own ribs crack before everything started to slowly fade around her. The sounds, her vision and even the pain began to subside as she lay there, on the ground by the gas station, soaking wet from the rain and even the taste of her own blood was ebbing away.

"Come on, Murphy, let's get out of here before someone sees us." the other man said nervously as he studied their surroundings, relieved to see that there was nobody else around. With one more kick to her lower stomach, they quickly scurried off and disappeared before Amanda could make out which way they went, then everything turned black and silent.

"Lieutenant, sorry for calling you so late." the nurse approached the tall brunette as soon as she spotted her coming through the door.

"It's my job, Amy." she smiled gently. "What are we looking at? Did she say who raped her?"

"She wasn't raped, Lieutenant."

Olivia frowned in confusion. "Okay, then why am I here?"

Amy sighed sadly and placed her hands in the big pockets of her uniform, gounding herself. "She was unconscious when she was brought in, I recognized her and called you. She got one hell of a beating but she's gonna be okay, already asking when she can go home."

"Where is she?" Olivia had a gnawing feeling in her stomach and her heart picked up speed as the nurse escorted her to a private room at the back and pulled the curtain to the side, revealing the identity of who was behind it.

"Amanda?!" she gasped as she saw the small blonde, who looked even smaller in the big bed, bruised with minor cuts and a split lip decorated her face. She looked pale and sickly, weak and fragile as she laid there, on eye bare able to open due to the swelling and she was awkwardly clutching at her lower belly.

"What happened?" the nurse had already left and Olivia quickly made her way over to where her young detective was positioned, pulled a chair up next to the bed and with a concerned look she caught Amanda's eyes. "What happened, honey? Who did this to you?"

The blonde tried to sit up better but the pain made it impossible to move and Liv softly placed a hand on her arm, telling her to stay still and not move too much. "I... I didn't tell the nurse to call you. What... what are you doing here?" the pain was evident in her voice as her teeth clenched, jaw flexing and breathing heavy. "I'm fine."

"You're not fine, Amanda," Liv stated, "and the nurse called me because she recognized you from a couple of earlier cases we've worked together." she gently reassured, rubbing her hand up and down Amanda's lower arm, feeling her skin cold to the touch, calming her down slightly before continuing. "How badly are you hurt?" she demanded to know.

"It... it's not that bad, really." Amanda tried to brush it off, not wanting her boss to see her like this, all weak and vulnerable, like she couldn't take care of herself. The look on Olivia's face told her that she wasn't convinced and that she had no other choice but to tell her the extent of her injuries. "Two cracked ribs, split lip, black eye and abdominal bruising. Nothing that won't heal on it's own."

"Did they give you anything for the pain?" Liv wondered, since the younger woman seemed to be in agony by the way she had her arms wrapped around her middle and her eyes were glazed over with a foggy sheen that Olivia had seen many times before in victims.

"I don't need any. I'm okay." came the short reply. "Can I go home now?" she began to sit up again but stiffled a scream as the searing pain burnt all over her upper body and she collapsed right back onto the cushions.

"Easy, sweetheart." Olivia had never called her that before but this time it just slipped out from between her lips, followed by a sushing noise. "I'm gonna get the nurse and I don't want any arguments. There's no need for you to be in pain, Amanda. Wait here."

"It's not like I can go anywhere." she muttered as Olivia exited the room and came back with the same nurse that efficiently administered a moderate doze of morphine into her drip then left the room.

The pain began to subside almost immediately, which made breathing and moving around way more easily and she tried once again to get up. "Whoa, Amanda! You have to lay down, honey. You're in no condition to walk anywhere, you're staying right where you are."

Defeatedly, the blonde slumped back against the pillows, the morphine making her quite sluggish already and too tired to argue. "Great." she mumbled, feeling her arms, legs and head getting heavy and relaxed, making her feel out of control and uncomfortable.

"What happened, honey? Who did this to you?" Liv gently queried as her eyes wandered over Amanda's slack body, wondering how many bruises were hiding underneath the over sized hospital gown.

"I've got it under control, Liv. I can deal with him myself." she insisted, rolling her eyes and wished that Olivia would just leave it alone but she knew that that was never going to happen. The brunette was way too stubborn for that.

"Under control? Amanda, you're in the hospital with two broken ribs, a split lip, beaten black and blue and, god knows, what else." she was getting frustrated and slightly angry that Amanda didn't seem bothered by what had happened and that she was very reluctant to tell her what had actually taken place. All she wanted to do was to help.

"There's nothing else. That's it, I promise." Amanda argued, feeling how her strength left her body due to the pain relief she had just been given.

"That's it!" Liv stated. "That's it?" she repeated in a heated tone, letting the blonde know that she was not gonna be taken for a fool and just take Amanda's word for it when it was obviously not true. Not in the slightest. "Amanda, you could've been killed, honey."

Honey. Liv had never called her honey or sweetheart before. Was this Olivia's victim voice? Was this the way all those victims felt like when they poured their hearts out to Olivia, telling her their story about abuse and heartache, desperate for closure? Amanda wasn't a victim, she refused to see herself, and for others, to think of her as one but Olivia's gentle and calming voice made her feel like one.

"I wasn't killed, I wasn't raped and I wasn't sexually assaulted. There's no need for you to... to be here, Lieutenant. I'm... I'm okay." her head was now feeling like a huge cotton ball that was floating around in the sky, bouncing from cloud to cloud, drifting slowly through the air as the wind took a hold of it. The morphine was definitely starting to take affect.

Olivia didn't know whether to laugh or cry for her colleague and friend and, knowing how stubborn Amanda could be, it would be a struggle to make her cooperate and make her tell her boss what had happened earlier on. "Amanda, if you think I'm here simply because I'm doing my job then you're so wrong. I'm here as a friend, because I care about you and I want to help you. I'm honestly really worried about your safety here, honey."

The pang in Amanda's chest became almost unbearable as she noticed brown eyes fill up with tears but managed to stay at bay and not to spill over and travel down olive skin cheeks, creating jagged pale lines along the sides of her face. For some reason, seeing her boss getting all emotional and that she was the reason for it, her attitude changed and so did her voice. Gone was the firm, convincing and professional tone and, due to her medical induced state of mind, a voice full of regret, sorrow and apology had instead taken residency in her mind.

"I... I'm sorry." she whispered, feeling her own eyes burn from so many emotions that threatened to expose themselves at any second but she wasn't going to do that. She wasn't gonna give in to it, to break down and cry like a defenseless little kid or turn into one of the most fragile of victims that they interviewed on a daily basis at the precinct. No, she wasn't going to. Absolutely not. Never. Not a chance.

Yet, she did.

"Tell me, Amanda! Tell me so I can help you." Liv pleaded and pushed the chair closer to the bed so that her knees were now touching the cold and hard metal frame.

"I can't." she sobbed, winching at the pain in her ribs as she cried, the morphine clearly not efficient or strong enough for such strenuous efforts, making the whole experience a lot more painful and awful than what it already was.

"Easy." Liv, without thinking anything of it, placed a warm hand on Amanda's stomach, intending to sooth and calm her agony, and was surprised when the blonde let out a low and deep roaring sound and flinched at the touch. Olivia immediately pulled her hand away, letting it hover in the air, shocked and afraid that she had hurt her further. "What's wrong, honey? Did I hurt you?"

The worry etched on her face caused a feeling of guilt to settle inside Amanda's chest, now experiencing a sense of sympathy and regret for her friend, feeling bad that she made her boss believe that she had actually hurt her even though her touch had been very gentle and soft. "No, you... you didn't hurt me. I... it's just... a bruise." she hissed between clenched teeth, eyes shut tightly and beads of sweat bloomed on her now flushed forehead.

Amanda had pulled her knees up to her chest in a desperate attempt to ease the searing pain but she couldn't seem to escape from it. The more she moved and the harder she cried, it only became worse and the pain intensified. That's when Olivia heard the sounded of, what could almost be identified as, a plastic bag every time the blonde shifted between the sheets and she realized that Amanda was hiding something, or trying to.

Gently, Olivia untangled the blonde's arms, that was wrapped around her middle in a fierce grip, carefully pushed her curled up legs down, slowly lowered the covers and, ever so gently, lifted Amanda's gown to see what was hiding underneath. Just as she expected, an ice pack.

As she went to pull it away, Amanda flinched at her touch and let out an involuntary whimper. "No, please!"

"Shhh," Liv carefully soothed and brushed a lock of blonde hair away from her face. "I just want to look, honey. I'm not going to hurt you but I need to see. I need to know how much damage he caused you, sweetheart. I'll be gentle, I promise. I'm just gonna look."

Slowly, with a tremendous care, she removed the ice pack from Amanda's firm hold and gasped in horror as she took in the sight before her. Her whole stomach was like a big giant bruise with darker shades down towards her lower belly and sides, blue, green, yellow, purple and almost black covered her abdominal region and the skin had even broken in some places from the brutal beating. "Oh, sweetie!" she let her fingers ghost the abused area, barely touching the extremely tender bruises. "You're black and blue, honey. It must be so painful. What did he use on you?"

Amanda shivered as she felt Olivia's long and elegant fingers graze over her battered skin, her heart skipping a beat as the warmth from her hand caused a stark contrast against the ice cold surface on her stomach. "He... he didn't use anything. Just his fists and... and a kick or two." she grumbled, feeling embarrassed, small and exposed.

"A kick or two?" Liv repeated, her voice rising to a higher pitch as she studied the assaulted abdomen of the younger woman, feeling sick and diagusted by what some ass hole had put her through. "It looks like somebody used you as a soccer ball. Who did it, Amanda? Do you know his name?"

Olivia was not going to let this one slide. She tucked the gown back down, placed the ice pack back on the most painful part of her stomach and took a deep breath before deciding to elaborate. "It's... this guy, Murphy. I know him from back home in Atlanta. He was my bookie and I owe him some money. I... I told him I was a bartender here in New York because I didn't want him to find out what I do or who I am." she then snorted in sarcasm. "That didn't seem to work out too well."

"How much?" Liv asked, her face completely calm and voice soft.

"Ten grand." the blonde muttered under her breath as her fingers began to play with the crisp white sheets of the bed, feeling extremely embarrassed for having to tell her boss about her debt and that her problems seemed to have followed her here. "I have until the weekend to get it or else I... or I... I..."

"Or what?" the bed dipped slightly as the older woman sat down on the edge, looking intently at Amanda's face, trying to read her thoughts and feelings the best she could. "Or what, Amanda?"

Sighing, she finished the sentence. "Or I won't see him coming next time."

"Oh honey, why didn't you tell someone? Me, Fin or anyone in the squad? We would've helped you. I know about your gamblin issues that you had in the past but I didn't know that you were in debt or that there were people after you. You need to report this, sweetie." she gently ran a hand down along Amanda's arm and grasped her hand as she reached it.

"I can't report it. It will go into my file and the IAB will have a field day with it. I... I can't let that happen. I won't." she got agitated, scared and distraught. She couldn't risk all that for ten grand. Her file and record would be forever tarnished and, working within the law enforcement, it was something that she couldn't have, period. Money or no money, she simply had to pay. There were no other options.

"Honey, what he did was wrong. He assaulted you and you're just gonna let him get away with it?" Olivia tried to reason, fearing for Amanda's safety and well-being.

"If I don't pay I'm dead. It doesn't matter if he's locked up or not. He has friends that would do anything for him so finding me would be the first thing on his agenda. Paying my debt is the only choice I have. That or die, take your pick, Lieutenant." once again, she pushed herself up, wanting nothing more but to leave the awful hospital room she was in before she would turn completely nuts. Despite the intense burning pain all over her upper body she managed to sit up, face flushed from exertion, jaw clenched tightly together due to the pain and sweat was beginning to appear in small droplets on her forehead. "I need to go. I won't stay here."

"Whoa, Amanda, please slow down." the older woman laid a hand on the blonde's tense shoulder, stopping her from swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. Judging by the terrified look on Amanda's face it was evident that there was nohing that Olivia could do or say to make her change her mind or think differently. By making Amanda stay right where she was would probably cause her more harm than good right now and Olivia made a rash decision. "Wait here and I'll get your doctor so you can sign your discharge papers."

There was a look of relief splayed across Amanda's face as she signed the papers and got her clothes back on. She was somewhat surprised that Olivia had actually given in so easily and had even helped her to get dressed and into her car. She had expected a struggle, an uphill battle to try and convince Olivia to let her leave. Instead, it had gone very smoothly and surprisingly fast and no real objections from her doctor had been made so she was slightly stunned and maybe even confused as to why things had gone so well.

"I made a deal with the doctor when I asked him to sign you out." she glanced over at Amanda, sitting in the passanger seat, looking very suspicious but curious at the same time, obviously wondering what kind of deal she was talking about. "You're staying at my place for a few days until the pain elevates and you can move around more easily and I don't want any arguments, Amanda. It's either my place or I'm taking you back to the hospital, this is not up for discussion."

Amanda was fuming, boiling with anger that threatened to blow the lid off the pot at any second if the temperature wasn't turned down. She was shaking with tension and anger, her knuckles turning white, as she clutched her fists so tightly, cutting off the blood circulation and she could no longer hold it in. "How dare you make such a promise? I'm not your property and you can't make me do anything I don't want to do. I want you to drop me off at my place, now... please."

"Not a chance." Liv answered softly as she took a right turn, relieved that it was really late, or probably early in the morning, and the traffic was light.

The calmness in her voice pissed Amanda off even more and she turned in her seat, winshing at the pain but did everything in her power to ignore it. "Let me out now, Lieutenant." she hissed, her voice full of venom, her eyes burning with mixed emotions and her heart hammered profusely in her chest, thumping against her ribcage creating the sound of a drum. When Olivia didn't listen and instead just continued to drive, Amanda shifted in her seat, grabbed the hande of the door and pulled it, causing the cold night air to swirl around in the car, toussling the women's hair.

"AMANDA!" Liv screamed and slammed on the brakes, hearing the tyres shriek against the tarmac before they came to a full stop, lucky that no-one was behind them in that moment. "What the hell, Amanda!" she yelled, willing her heart to calm. "What do you think you're doing?"

Amanda suddenly burst into tears, not caring how much physical pain in caused her as the agonizing sobs passed through her throat and lips. "I... I don't want to die, Olivia. Please... please, don't let them hurt me anymore!"