Kyoya and Haruhi weren't sure what they were expecting when they found Tamaki, but it definitely wasn't the reality that greeted them. The young Suoh heir's room, usually almost pristine thanks to the maids, was covered in printed circles with geometric designs of varying complexity. A sleek computer monitor displayed roughly fifty tabs open to plot summaries, character analyses, and pictures of some anime called Fullmetal Alchemist. On Tamaki's desk was a delicate bird figurine, which Tamaki had a Shinto priest and two assisting shrine maidens at work seemingly performing an exorcism on or something. Tamaki himself was rifling through the papers wearing a tinfoil hat (more like a lovingly crafted tinfoil swan molded around his cranium) and muttering to himself.

"Senpai, what the hell! Where have you been all day!" Haruhi slapped the hat-swan off of Tamaki's head, and he whimpered.

"Haruhi, there's a voice! In my head!"

"Oh, you have a new one?" Kyoya said smoothly.

"Yes!" Tamaki backtracked. "I mean, No! Yes! I don't know! But he's there! And he went to school for me!"

"Well, I suppose that would explain the appearance of the mysterious Edward..." Kyoya mused, raising a hand to his chin as Tamaki carefully grabbed his tinfoil hat and replaced it with a flourish. Haruhi smacked it right back off.

"If it's just the voice, then what's all this?" Haruhi growled, gesturing to the priest, who paused his ritual to wave at them.

"Well you see, I hired a private detective to figure out what anime Edward was from, and he identified Fullmetal Alchemist. After reading some plot summaries, we determined that wherever Ed is from aligns pretty closely with Brotherhood, the 2009 anime, which is a more direct adaptation of the manga-"

"Tamaki," Kyoya cut him off, pushing up his glasses so that they caught the light. "We've been worried sick all day, stop being an insensitive idiot and get to the point."

"Right, the priest," Tamaki reclaimed his now-deformed tinfoil swan and cradled it to his chest. "Well, Ed shouldn't have been able to do alchemy, but he did, and I think that-"

"Wait, stop, hold on a minute," Haruhi held up her hand this time. "Alchemy? The protoscience? How is that even possible? Yeah, they tried to change base metals into gold, but you're rich, senpai. Why would you even try? It's not like you need more money."

"Edward wanted to try alchemy, so he made the tiny bird on my desk," Tamaki explained, then called a quick, "doing great, guys!" to the priest and shrine maidens, who ignored him and steadfastly continued their craft.

Kyoya raised an eyebrow, his glasses glinting. Haruhi, on the other hand, strode over to examine the figurine. The natural host delicately picked it up. She lightly stroked a wing, and quickly brought her fingers off as the gentle pressure snapped the graphite clear off.

"Ok, senpai. I guess we need to summon Renge or something."