Well, I'm surprised to say that I'm glad to be writing in this again. It's been a long week, so I'm de-stressing in a bubble bath with cinnamon candles and Chinese takeout floating in front of me. (Who knew Styrofoam containers floated?)

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What noises do you hear in the morning?

A noise I can tell you that I hear from the minute Regina falls asleep to the moment she wakes is snoring. She's gonna hate me for saying so and will forever deny it, but it's true. I'm used to it though, and it actually comforts me because it's so familiar. And it's not too noisy—sometimes you get people (like Leroy) who sleep with their mouths wide open, sucking in all the air they can get and releasing it just as loudly making them sound like a freight train—but Regina's snoring is nice. It's quiet, like a cat's purr, providing just enough white noise to allow me to drift off to sleep.

So, I wake to Regina's snoring, if it's a weekend, that is. During the week day, I usually hear "If you don't get out of this bed this minute we are never having sex again!" Can you imagine the horror if Regina actually followed through with that threat?!

I also hear the little pitter-pattering of feet running down the hallway. Makayla has been able to sneak out of her crib as soon as she began walking, so it's common for her to run to our room and wake us up. When Henry was younger, he used to do the same thing (only with more bouncing). He still does follow his little sister in sometimes, whining about being hungry or being woken up too early.

I used to pretend to be asleep to aggravate him, but then he would jump on me, causing a few colorful words to escape from my mouth, earning me a hard smack in the arm and a glare from Regina. Now he usually makes his own breakfast, so there's the clattering of dishes downstairs to accompany our mornings as well. Also, Makayla thinks it's absolutely hilarious to shriek pterodactyl-like in my ear as if jumping on me wasn't enough to wake me from slumber.

But the noise I really enjoy is the laughter. Often, Snow and David will come over and make their specialty pancakes, which causes Makayla to giggle hysterically as David shows off his pancake-flipping skills. Regina and Snow laugh over not-so-threatening death threats, and Henry and I will often laugh at David's creative pancake shapes which are never what they claim to be. The laughter is what really sticks in my mind—I finally have a normal, crazy, happy family.

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What pets did you have in your household growing up?

Growing up in the foster system, I was never really allowed to have pets. I suppose I could tell the story of the one time I found a mouse in my room and fed it food crumbs for a week until it died, but I don't think that counts.

Currently, we don't have any pets. Regina is a stickler, and doesn't think I am responsible enough for anything other than a goldfish which is kinda true. (She still doesn't know about the goldfish that died last month because I forgot to feed it). How am I a mom again?

Anyway, since we don't have any actual pets, let me tell you about the next best thing: our daughter. Little Kayla is basically a puppy. As soon as she learned to crawl, we knew we were in big trouble. Tablecloths were pulled off the tables, we had some near misses with cups almost falling onto her, she eats food on the floor as she pleases (and basically everything she can get her hands on—I lost my lucky penny to her!), she tumbled down a few stairs once (shh, don't tell). Also, she's super adorable and everyone loves her. Did I mention the fact that she also pees on the floor? Yeah, girls do it, too. Who knew?

Something we all find amusing (except Regina) is Henry has taken it upon himself to "train" her. And it's actually working. He's teaching his little sister tricks with yogurt bites. Makayla sits, speaks, rolls over, and shakes on command. She also pants as she crawls around and loves her head to be scratched. Regina says it's as if she's being raised by wolves and is mortified when Makayla does her little tricks in public. Okay, she may be spending a little too much time with Pongo, but I think it's hilarious. I mean, kids will be kids.

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Regina is in her study doing paperwork, the kids are in bed, and the bathwater is still hot, so I'm gonna continue writing. It seems as though this has become more helpful than therapy sessions—my hand writing is neater, I am thinking more clearly and noticing things around me that I haven't before, and my work at the station has improved. I wonder if I can weasel Regina into giving me some chocolate for good behavior… hmm…

What role do you play in your family's dynamic? Tell a story that demonstrates you playing that role.

Alright, well I would definitely peg myself as the goof ball. I rough house with my kids, I tickle Regina, I tell lame yet hilarious jokes (Henry calls them "mom jokes"), and I become heated over a game of Monopoly—I know you cheated, Regina. Stop denying it.

A memory that comes to mind is when Henry had to get dental surgery. He was 11 years old and hated the dentist. Regina had asked me to take him and I readily accepted her offer, not knowing the extreme fear our son has over getting his mouth poked and prodded. And I don't blame him—I haven't been to the dentist since I was 18, and my teeth are fine and healthy in my opinion.

"Henry, we need to get this done. Just get in the car. The faster we get there, the faster we'll be out," I pleaded, using all my strength to keep him from running back to the school. Funny, he's usually prone to run away from school, not to it.

"No! I knew this was a trap—Mom would never let you take me out of school early for no reason!" Henry yelled at me, gripping the sides of my Bug as I tried to maneuver him into the car.

Me being twice his size, I got him into the car and shut the door, thankful for the child-proof locks Regina had suggested I have installed on my car. Henry was silent the whole way to the dentist office, but when we arrived he didn't fight; he simply dragged his feet and followed me inside, looking like a kicked puppy and making me feel like the worst mom in the world.

I checked him in and took a seat beside him, trying to pique his interest with a Where's Waldo book while making hilarious commentary about the other random people squished onto the pages. Henry wasn't having it though, and I eventually gave up.

A nurse came out to usher us back, and my heart literally hurt as Henry slipped his little hand into mine and squeezed as hard as he could. Once he was weighed and his vitals were checked, he hopped up into the chair and tried to be brave. The nurse whispered to me about giving him something to calm him down, and I gave her permission to do so.

She left and returned a moment later with a nitrous oxide mask, something I was all-too-familiar with. She adjusted it over Henry's nose and turned it on, and as soon as his eyes became glassy and his hand went slightly limp in mine, I knew it was time to turn the mom jokes on.

"Hey, Henry, what time did we come to the dentist? Tooth-hurt-y!"

This caused a little smile to come on Henry's face, so I amped myself up and let the mom jokes fly.

"What did the horse say after he tripped? Help! I've fallen and I can't giddyup!"

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!"

By the time the doctor administered the I.V. and injected the anesthesia, Henry was laughing so hard the whole dentist office could hear him. When I came back to see him after his surgery was done and he was awake, he was still laughing over my jokes, his mouth full of cotton and his eyes droopy.

For hours afterward, he would ask me to tell him more jokes, which I couldn't help but oblige. I cuddled up with him on the couch and turned on a superhero movie to distract him, but he kept asking for more jokes. Every joke would send him into a fit of giggles and earned me a glare from Regina, but from the way she was trying to hold in her laughter told a whole other story. I knew that day that I was going to marry her.

Regina may pretend to be annoyed of my "childishness" but I know it's just another reason she loves me so much.

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So, before I go, I'll leave you with one last really good dad joke. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it. Makes me laugh every time. Anyway, stay tuned cause in the next chapter you'll get to see about how Regina cared for me after an accident I had (unfortunately it happens all the time). See ya later!