This whole situation with Jessica was a brand-new nightmare to him, after what they all have been through… Having to see Mike in prison, Donna almost ending up in jail as well. Good Lord! His neck shivers with those memories.

However, differently from those other times, when they all fought together for the greater good, this time Jessica didn't want to put up a fight, she was convinced that being disbarred in NYC wasn't going to affect her new life in Chicago.

This change in her behavior really took him by surprise, when he would think that the mighty Jessica, his mentor, would simply walk away from her firm, and for what?! To follow her heart, pursuit her love, build a relationship with Malone. That was for sure something new, that he wouldn't have foreseen coming.

He would have to help Louis to walk the same hard path of acceptance that he just had to face towards this particularly annoying decision took by Jessica. Louis would lose it for sure, he would try to convince him that he had not thought this whole thing properly, that he had to figure out a way to keep Jessica.

Deep in his heart he knew that somehow, they could figure out a way, but would they do it against Jessica best judgment? That didn't sound right.

Donna might be just the right person to help him out to convince Louis. He needed his financial lawyer in his best form, in order to take care of Jessica's buy out. Ouch that would scratch their pockets, but money was the least of their problems.

Donna would have to help him to think an honored way out of the Office to Jessica. This way they could sell to the market and to the clients that the firm was still standing, even so at its best shape, and not falling apart with yet another scandal. They would have to act fast, before the news spread and nothing that they might do would make any difference…

Maybe a farewell party, announcing that the firm was branching out to Chicago, "yeah, that could work". With luck, they could organize it within a couple of days, Rachel could help Donna put it together, and they could profit with the fact that Jessica was still in town, and would attend it.

With his mind lost in thoughts, he barely realized he had already arrived at PSL offices from his encounter with Jessica at his apartment. Hopefully he would still find Donna and Louis to discuss this throughout the night.

Besides, since he rashly gave his house keys to Paula, being at home was a bit uncomfortable, not having control at what time she might show up is utterly annoying. What on earth was I thinking? At what point I became the person who celebrates two months' anniversary? He remembers mocking Donna for celebrating six months' anniversary with her former boyfriend, that event hurt him back then, and he must confess, even now, it is not a sweet memory.

Running away from this trail of thoughts he arrives at Louis' office only to find it empty, "damn it".

He kept walking along the hall until he sees Donna at her office!

"Good, you are still here. Where is Louis? Cause I have some news, and I think you should both…"

While he talked, he could briefly notice that Donna was a bit off, not really paying attention to what he was saying, looking kind of defeated, but, before que could really acknowledge anything she marched into him and kissed him. His mind went completely numb, not one coherent thought could survive the forceful sensation caused by her warm body against his. At that split second his whole existence was reduced to the touch of her lips against his lips, to be frank the whole universe, the time, everything was reduced, was minimal, when compared to what that simple gesture was causing to him.

A desire wave was taking everything inside him, as he starts kissing her back, memories of the other time, the one never mentioned, carefully and deeply buried out of his mind during many years, were emerging stronger than ever. Flashes of her soft porcelain skin, completely naked, underneath him were now being feed by her lovely touch on his neck and his face, this touch was sending electric waves throughout his body, that he could feel his pants getting tighter around his manhood. But before que could properly react to what was happening, before he could realize that it wasn't one of his dreams about Donna, – that always ended up with him waking up alone and with an uncomfortable aching in his groin – just when he would deepen the kiss, she stopped it.

That face, framed by that living color hair, those greenish eyes looking into his owns, made his knees weaken. OMG, how can anyone be so beautiful?! Being able to admire her everyday made him used to such lovely face, at a point he started taking it for granted. But right now, as the two of them are the only two existing souls in the world, he was overwhelmed with such beauty.

What had just happened?!

"I am sorry, Harvey. I just had to know".

And with that she was gone.

If his mind was numb just moments before, now it was rushing with a million thoughts, each one of them competing with each other to drive him crazy and keeping him completely paralyzed.

How come that small and brief kiss could have made him feel so many things? Excitement, fear, anger, desire, and maybe love? Definitely love.

What was she thinking? Did she just break her own rule? What on earth she would know by kissing me? Was she in love with me? Was she confused with what she was felling? Am I confused? Do I love that crazy woman? Where is she going? Is she going to tell me what the fuck she figured out?

What the fuck am I going to do now?

Her touch worked as a small spark lighted up inside a small room filled with explosives.

From the first moment he met Donna early in his life he knew she was special, at least very special to him. Her sassy manners, her remarks on his attitudes and appearance, her terrific job as an assistant, day after day she became essential to him, she was his friend, confident, co-worker, and he wished very much she was his lover too, but he had to respect her rule. Until one day, there was no need to keep that rule anymore, thanks to Donna, he had taken a better career path and was out the DA's office.

He showed up at her door, hoping that she felt the same desire for him that he felt for her, the lust and the sexual tension between the two of them was almost unbearable. He truly thought that he would surprise her, but she is Donna, and she is awesome. She not only was not surprise to see him, she was in fact waiting for him, wielding in her hand whip cream that they once joked about. That night was memorable, he never again was able to taste a whip cream and not remember her taste…

After that single night they shared, Donna came back to work for him and he had to suppress all his desires. Every day was a new challenge, looking at those long legs and avoiding to remember them firmly around him, watching her cleavage and telling himself that he would never again feel her soft and yet firm breast in his hands, without mentioning that rosy nipples hardening in his mouth…

She was deliciously sexy, and he would love to make love with her again, but he certainly wasn't ready to commitment back then, so he wouldn't jeopardize their professional and personal relationship adding romance and drama to it.

Donna was too important, she kept him on track. All those years, he has shared with her his best and his worse, nobody knew him like her. She was never ashamed to tell him whatever she felt was the right thing to do or to point out to him when he was wrong, all those things that nobody else would have the guts to say to him she would say, making a better man and a better lawyer out of him.

Respecting her rule became easier when he thought that the alternative would be not having her at all. So, in order to keep her near, because he simply couldn't see his life without her, he preferred for more than 12 years hide his feelings. She was his friend, his best friend. She was special and different than everybody else. He would do anything for her, and yes, he loved her. But loved how?

The true is that the last couple of years things got trickier, and that question kept popping in his head, as Donna was insisting in appear in his dreams, always with so tiny or none outfit.

That night, at her place, celebrating their victory on the Liberty Rail case, he had to tell her how much she meant to him. He gladly took time to take care of her, just as she had demanded him amid his attempts to save her in court. It was not a surprise when, without any kind of effort, this moment they shared quickly built up to a sexual tension. He must admit he ran away, he didn't want to break her rule, and staying in that same room which he had already visited her years ago was a hell of a test to his will, so he left, but not before confessing her that he loved her.

That night, he now recognizes, was the first blow in their facade relationship, the first time in years they acknowledge that there was something more than professionalism and friendship. After that, Donna brought up the same question he kept asking himself, "Love me how?", but he was not brave enough to admit not even to himself his feelings.

"OMG, what have I done?!"

The guilt sensation rises once he realizes that, somehow, he is directly responsible for tonight's event.

It was only fair that Donna wanted to understand what kind of love he was talking about, but they argued, she left him, panic attacks came and, with them, came Paula.

"Paula"

"Shit"

Only now he thought about Paula, that became his safe harbor, someone that had nothing to do with the ordinary craziness that is his workplace, someone he felt comfortable with.

"What am I thinking?! Comfortable? Paula is not a couch, she is not supposed to be comfy. I am supposed to love her, want her".

With that, remorse completely washed over him. She has been nothing but kind and loving, she did not deserve that.

It was a fact that Donna, knowing him too well, broke the kiss before he really had the chance to react and properly kiss her back, so he could argument he wasn't technically cheating on Paula.

However, Donna could not have controlled what he would actually feel, so her maneuver didn't work at all, because he was certain with every fiber of his being that, inspite what he hasn't done, what he wanted to do to Donna was the real problem, and that burning desire was making him just as much of a cheater anyway. His mind could picture too well what would have happened if Donna didn't stop, he would like very much to take and have her at that moment, at that table…

"Fuck".

With that he wakes up from his own thoughts, he has no idea how long he was standing there.

"Donna?" He shouts.

No answer. She must be in the building, she left her office without her bag.

He looks for her in the restrooms, conference room, his old office, her old desk.

Defeated, he goes up to the rooftop, some air would help him clear his mind, and just as he stopped looking for her it is when he found her.

Her tall and lean figure was looking into the skyline, lost in thoughts. So beautiful. This thought made him angry and frustrated with himself, so he decides that is time to come clear with her.

"What was that all about? I thought that we had an agreement"

She didn't answer, nor even looked back at him. He felt aggravated.

"I assume that you also remember that I am taken".

Bingo, with that he manages to make her look his way.

"Look Harvey, I told you and I meant it. I am sorry that I put you in that position. But, at the same time, I needed you, I needed to try it, so I could understand what I am feeling".

"Disregarding my feelings?"

"Yes Harvey, feeling surprise that I am capable of doing something for myself? Or do you think it was God's will to bring me to the word just to serve and please you, sir."

Sir? She was being able to be ironic, when she was the one that caused all of this?!

Ok, he knew he played his part, all those years, teasing, confessing his feelings... In addition, it was her rule after all, if someone was entitled to bring it down, it would be her. But why now?! She had years to bring it down and chose to be interested about her own feelings now that he was experiencing a healthy relationship?

"Sorry Donna, to make this all about me. Would you be kind enough to explain me what did you learn after kissing me? The lesson was worthy making me a cheater?"

He was decided that he wouldn't make it easier for her.

She looked directly at him, and shortened the distance between the two of them.

"You see. I had to learn at a really young age what struggle is. Everything that I own came from really hard work. Every morning I wake up and tell myself that I will be a good and loving person, sympathetic to others feelings and a dedicated professional. I always dreamt about being an actor, to perform is my passion, but I overlooked my dream to have financial security and to help you fulfill yours, and I don't regret it. My rule existed so nobody would look at me and accuse me to fuck my way up. It wasn't easy, seeing you every single day and telling myself that the feeling would eventually go away. But it never went away, because the truth is you can never go back. And I never went back, I am in love with you Harvey, and I guess, somehow, I always have been. That could easily explain all my shitty relationships."

"Donna, I am sorry …"

He was in shock of how open she was being and his anger and bad attitude were gone already. He has never enrolled such an open and personal conversation with anyone before.

Not to talk about their personal feelings was part of their relationship dynamic, and as she speaks, he realized with fear that she was burning all the bridges, that he would not be able in the next morning to just shove everything under de carpet and pretend that nothing has happened, as he had done before.

He would have to deal with it. The realization hit him hard, just in the moment that he needed to focus in the office, his personal life was taking a leap he definitely wasn't ready. But when would he be ready? When would be the perfect time and location to access his feelings for Donna, which he has been keeping inside the "it is complicated" box, stored in the "denial" closet of his mind and heart for years.

"I haven't finished Harvey... Now I came to think, what good all this self-constrain has brought me? I am risking losing you forever to Paula, or to the next one, and yet I was slayed at court, being public accused to be your secretary with benefits. In the sight of others, only because of this alleged affair that I had had with you that I could possibly have accomplished my promotion. And you see, it wasn't the first time! Nobody looks at me and sees a competent professional, all that Louis, Tenner, Hardman, Malik and many others see when they look at me is your comfort women!".

The poor woman just purred her heart out, she just laid all her cards. She looked tired, defeated, frustrated and exposed.

"So when you asked me what did I learn from that kiss, I guess I learnt that maybe, if you feel the smallest thing towards me, we have lost a hell of time that we could have enjoyed a real relationship with each other, instead of worrying myself about what others would think, when at the end it doesn't matter, because despite what I actually do, people are already thinking that I was fucking you anyway".