Limit

A/N: Hey guys, I initially wanted to update Catching Up before the premiere but it wasn't coming out the way I wanted. So, I wrote a little something for Cas and Dean since I seem to have this little side universe going, not to mention the premiere basically tore our hearts out. Anyway this is my nod to our favourite fallen angel though my heart beats for the moment Gabriel returns, I mean how else do you explain a Scooby Doo episode? Until next time, ENJOY! R&R PLZ!

Dean, I know you need your space, just let me know you're okay.

Hey it's Sam…again. Could you call me please, I need to hear your voice.

Dean? I know you're listening to these, dude I need you back. I know you still need time but we have to figure out what to do about Jack and you're all I got.

Dean, he was my friend too. I know you two were…something else but please, at least call dammit.

Hey Dean. Jack and I are okay. I figured I'd start showing him how to hunt. He's not bad, just wish you here. It's been months, you need to come home.

Dean snapped his phone shut, taking another long draught of the whiskey bottle in his hand. He knew Sam could handle things, Dean on the other hand was done. More than other time in his life, he finally understood his father's words from so long ago.

No Sam. I want to stop losing people we love. I want you to go to school, I want Dean to have a home. I want...I want Mary alive. It's just...I just want this to be over.

At the time, he understood but at the same didn't. He remembered his mom, he knew logically what it was to have a family and a home, he got the significance of Sammy going to school and the idea of never having to hunt and worry about the monsters ever again but it had been more sympathy than anything else. His life in Lawrence before the yellow-eyed demon were vague recollections, romanticized to some extent as he had since learnt. Distant bits of nostalgia filtered through time and a child's eyes. But now…now he truly understood. For a few shining moments, he had it all. He had his mother, brother, and his…angel. It wasn't perfect but it was real. They were a unit and then it all went to hell. Mary broke away and later joined the British Men of Letters, Cas sided with Lucifer's spawn even after promising that they weren't finished.

But that wasn't enough for the universe, he growled under his breath and launched the bottle at the wall where it shattered and spilt all over the wood. No, it just had gore him a little deeper, tear into him more. So it gave it all back to him; his mom, Cas, and it even looked like they had won for moment. Lucifer was gone and his family survived. That was all he wanted at the time but no. The image of Lucifer's angel blade spearing Cas will haunt him for the rest of his meaningless days. Then Mary got her chance to punch the devil in the face and sent him to the alternate dimension, her along with him.

A few tears managed to slip down his face, he thought he'd gotten rid of them all. What was the point? Of anything? They sacrificed blood and bone, family and friend to keep this world safe and what did it them? More pain, more heartbreak, more nights of downing alcohol to try and quell the need to scream and rage at everything. Cas, his Cas, whom he had lost and gotten back time and time again, snatched from him. His mother, who had given them her blessing and told them that their promise was more than just were they went physically, physically took herself away from them punching the devil in the face. Piece of him wondered whether she had done it as much as for the fight as getting revenge for killing Cas. Either way, the end was the same, they were gone and Dean was done. No more. That was it. He couldn't take it anymore. Of all the heinous things he'd seen, being forced to watch the angel he loved get run through with an angel blade was too much.

While Sam was in the house, Dean had taken the pickup's keys from Cas's pocket and loaded the now vacant vessel on the bed. He sped off before his younger brother even realised what was happening. He wasn't sure where he was going but he just kept driving. It wasn't until he got to where he was that he knew that it was the place to stop. He could feel anything else other than the coursing rage and grief, he might've been surprised the structure was still standing. He might have been amazed that the sigils he'd painted on the walls were still in place and that there was still glass on the ground from when Cas blew out the lights. It was like the place, the barn where they had met so very long ago, had stayed exactly as it was, waiting for them.

He'd buried Cas near a flower patch close by, the bees were buzzing and it was far out enough that he was sure it wouldn't be disturbed. It was much for the final resting place of angel; just a patch of dirt and two branches bound together like a cross. Dean still went there, not willing to acknowledge the hope that he might find the ground scorched and dirt sprayed as if something was yanked out of the ground. Instead he sat there, next to his angel and talked. Well sometimes he talked, other times he ranted. There were times he would scream and rage and times when he cried until his tears were no more but sobs still racked his chest.

Dean inhaled harshly, he was done. Just done. He whispered quietly, "Cas…"

"Hello Dean."