"Change into this gown and drape the sheet over your legs, and Dr. Hughes will be right with you." Sharon thanked the nurse as she left the room and started to undress. She folded the knit dress she'd been wearing and made sure it was covering her bra and panties as she placed it in the chair beside her purse, although she wasn't sure why she always did that. Dr. Hughes had been giving her regular exams since she was twenty and had delivered both of her babies, so her undergarments paled in comparison to what he'd seen over the years. She slipped her arms into the "gown," which was more like a paper vest, and settled the thin, poor excuse for a "sheet" over her knees as she lay back on the table and waited for her doctor to come in. She'd strategically scheduled her yearly appointment for early Friday morning so she could count it as a sick day and still have most of the day to herself. Andy had left the evening before to spend a long weekend at Disneyland with Nicole, Dean, and their children, but Sharon had used her appointment and the fact that they'd just finished a long and difficult case and wanted to rest as an excuse to decline her invitation. Rusty had also left the evening before to spend the weekend in Napa with Gus, and chances to have the condo to herself for even a day, much less an entire weekend, were few and far between. She loved having Andy and Rusty around, but she also loved the rare times when she didn't have to immediately put her robe or clothes on when she got out of the shower, didn't have to fight for the bathroom or TV, and could do whatever the hell she wanted without being constantly interrupted by Andy or Rusty needing something or asking her where something was instead of taking five seconds to look for it themselves.

Sharon wrapped the vest-like thing tightly around her and shivered in the cold exam room. It didn't take much these days to make her feel nostalgic, and her mind went back to her first "big girl doctor" appointment, as her college friends had jokingly referred to gynecologists. She'd been terrified, but she and Jack had been dating seriously for a while, and after a drunken encounter almost went too far, she'd decided to get birth control. It had become more easily accessible in the last few years, so she wanted to take advantage of it. She'd still make him wrap it up, but she wanted extra back-up. Having to tell her parents that she was pregnant at this stage in her life wasn't something she cared to have to do. Her mom had been on her ass to start getting yearly physicals, anyway, so she'd killed two birds with one stone. Sharon knew she'd be shy about asking a doctor for birth control, but one of her friends had told her that Dr. Hughes had asked if she needed it without her having to bring it up, so that was all Sharon needed to decide to make an appointment with him. It wasn't exactly something she could ask the doctor she'd grown up with for on her next visit home, because, well, he was her dad's best friend. "So, who's Sharon dating now, she came to the office to get on birth control" wasn't a conversation that needed to come up on the golf course. The concept of patient confidentiality hadn't occurred to her naive twenty-year-old mind. Now, here she still was, almost forty years later. Dr. Hughes had been a great doctor through the years, despite Sharon's low criteria for choosing him. He was fresh out of medical school at the time, and now he was in his seventies, worked part-time, and was strictly on the gynecology side of medicine. He hadn't delivered a baby in years.

A soft knock sounded at the door, pulling Sharon from her thoughts. She sat up a little straighter as Dr. Hughes came in. They chatted for a couple of minutes before he asked her a few questions and started the exam. She raised her arm and rested it behind her head without being told and flinched slightly as his cold hands prodded against her breast. As far as modern medicine had come, doctors still couldn't figure out how to warm their hands up before doing a breast exam. When that part was over, Dr. Hughes wheeled a stool over and set up camp between her legs. This part of the visit hadn't fazed her in years. She smiled as she remembered her first appointment and how tense and embarrassed she'd been. She hadn't really understood the point of having the sheet over her thighs at first, but it had made her feel a little more comfortable and less exposed. As unexposed as one could feel with someone's hands inside of them, anyway. The things running through her head then and now were entirely different. As she got older and control over certain things were starting to slip, her concerns now were much different than when she was a modest twenty-year-old. The only thought on her mind right now was please don't fart.

"All right, Sharon, everything looks good," Dr. Hughes said when he finished examining her. "You can get dressed, and I'll be back in a few minutes." Sharon waited for him to leave the room before she got up to get dressed again. She wasn't quite sure why she always did that, either. He came back in a couple of minutes later with results from the finger prick and urine sample she'd given upon her arrival. "I'm not seeing any problems here, so go to the end of the hall for your regular bloodwork, and you'll need to go over to Cedars for your mammogram." Sharon thanked him, and they chatted for a couple more minutes before she left the room.

When Sharon got home near 11:00, she was surprised to find her own car keys when she placed Rusty's keys in the bowl. His car still ran pretty well, but it was getting old. She wasn't comfortable with him taking it on a long trip, so she'd allowed him to take her car for the six-hour drive to Napa. She groaned softly to herself as she walked down the hall, knowing her weekend to herself was long gone. She peeked into his room before walking over to his bed. He was under the covers and his lights were off, but his position wasn't right for him to be asleep. "Hey, Mom," Rusty mumbled, not bothering to open his eyes, when he heard Sharon walking around the foot of his bed.

"Hey, yourself." Sharon sat on the edge of Rusty's bed and ran her hand through his hair. "What's the matter? Are you sick?" As soon as the words were out of her mouth, the logistics of him getting himself home so early if he were sick didn't make sense, but it was the first thing that came to her mind.

"No." Rusty opened his eyes and pushed her hand away before it could reach his forehead, knowing it was coming. He was looking torward the wall, but his eyes were glazed over and unfocused, and he had a blank expression on his face. "Gus has been fucking his boss." Sharon flinched at his uncharacteristic choice of words, but didn't reprimand him. She could tell they had been on the rocks lately, but he'd been so happy about how much better they'd gotten along after his last visit, so she thought things were better between them. She certainly didn't think it would end like this. She didn't think Rusty did, either. "Sorry, Mom. I just..." Rusty had felt numb since he'd arrived in Napa earlier than planned to surprise Gus and found him kissing that asshole at his door, but saying it out loud made it seem more real. The emotions he'd been suppressing hit him all at once, and as much as he hated to cry, they needed a release. He couldn't stop the tears from spilling over, despite his best efforts.

"Honey, I'm so sorry." Sharon gathered him in her arms, and tears filled her own eyes as he cried against her. She hated to see her children so heartbroken. It made her feel so helpless. She couldn't do anything but hold them and let them cry until they were ready to talk about it. She remembered holding Emily just like this one night when she was seventeen, because "every boy she kissed turned gay." Sharon's explanation that people don't "turn gay" and that their orientation had nothing to do with her had fallen on deaf ears. The boys in question had probably tried dating girls out of fear of how people would react if they didn't, because people acted so ridiculous about it. Sharon hated that the boys were in such a position over something they couldn't control and knew they hadn't purposefully hurt Emily, but that hadn't made the bawling teenager in her lap any less heartbroken. Her thoughts next turned to her own heartbreak the first time Jack had cheated on her. That she knew of, anyway. Emily had been a couple of days shy of two weeks old, and Sharon was a hormonal mess and in no shape to deal with it. She rubbed Rusty's back and rested her cheek against the top of his head as his body shuddered against her. She had no idea how much time had passed when he finally started to calm down. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." Rusty turned away from her and pulled his covers over his head, but he immediately felt guilty after Sharon had held him for who knows how long. "Thanks for sitting with me, though, I actually feel a little better."

"You're welcome. I'll leave you alone, but I'll be around if you need me." She hadn't even made it to the door before Rusty spoke again.

"Like, why didn't he just break up with me if he was going to do this? I know I've been difficult, but I never would've cheated on him. And we were doing so much better the last time I visited him. Even to the point that I wanted to show up early to surprise him. I hadn't been so excited to see him in a long time, and now..." Sharon sat back on Rusty's bed and resumed rubbing his back. "Like, we've talked about it before, and he knew that this was the one thing I'd never be able to forgive. And he big fat did it anyway. It just feels like a huge 'fuck you' thrown in my face. Sorry. But I really don't think I deserved it. I've done stuff wrong, but I would never intentionally hurt him."

"I know you wouldn't, and I'm sure Gus does, too."

"I just...never thought he'd do this. We've had arguments, but I never thought there would be a time when we weren't together. The thought of it makes me feel sick." Rusty sniffled. "I thought I'd found the person I'd always be with, and now I have to start over. I think I'm more upset about that than not actually being with him. He was familiar and comfortable, and I don't want to lose that."

That struck a nerve with Sharon for some reason, but she tucked it away to think about later. "Are you positive he's cheating on you? Is it possible that you just saw something and jumped to the wrong conclusion?"

Rusty shook his head. "I know that sounds like me, but they were kissing at Gus's door when I got there last night. And the look on Gus's face said it all. He's been calling and texting me, but I can't talk to him right now. I actually tried to convince myself that they hadn't done more than kiss, but one of his texts ruined that for me."

"I'm sorry, honey. What did you do when you saw them?"

Rusty shrugged. "What do you think I did? I turned around and came home."

"Rusty! Why didn't you call Ricky and stay with him? And why didn't you tell me you were coming home?! I'd like to know about it if you're driving home in the middle of the night." It had to have been at least 3:00 in the morning before he got back.

"I just wanted to come home," he said simply.

Sharon nodded. She could understand that. "Wait, but my keys..."

"I waited until I heard you leave this morning before I put them back in the bowl. I didn't want you to know I was here this morning, so I parked in Andy's space. I didn't want to forget to put your keys back before you got home so you would know I was here...What are you doing here, anyway?" Rusty noticed for the first time that Sharon didn't look like she was dressed for work.

"I had a doctor's appointment this morning, so I just took the whole day off."

Rusty looked worried. "Why? Are you okay?" He'd never known her to take a whole day off for a doctor's appointment if she wasn't sick.

"I'm fine. It was just a physical. There's usually too much going on at work for me not to have to rush right back after an appointment, but since we just finished a case, all I have is paperwork that can wait until Monday."

Rusty hadn't really thought about her going to the doctor for that before. She made him get physicals every year, which he hated, but he'd never thought about her doing the same thing. "How was it?"

"Well, peeing in a cup is always a good time..."

"Mom! Like, how long does it take for them to tell you everything's okay?" He figured she'd had blood tests, and probably some other stuff that he didn't need to know anything about, that wouldn't have results right away. When he feared for her life, it was in the context of a dangerous situation at work, which didn't happen that often. He'd never thought about her health failing her before, and the thought of losing her someday was more than he could bear to think about.

"Usually just a couple of weeks. Honey, I'm fine. It was just a routine appointment." After a few minutes of silence, Sharon gave Rusty's back a final pat. "There's a new hamburger place on the beach in Malibu. You interested? I can go pick something up, or we can order in, if you'd rather do that."

Rusty shook his head. "No, the beach actually sounds pretty good. I'm not that sad anymore, I'm just pissed off."

"I know the feeling. Change your clothes and wash your face. You'll feel a little better." Sharon exchanged her dress for shorts and a top and found a couple of beach towels while she waited for Rusty, thinking they might sit on the beach for a while after they ate. Junk food and salty air was the best solution she could come up with for a broken heart. And perhaps a little wine for herself.

When Sharon and Rusty reached the restaurant, they were seated at a table outside overlooking the beach. "Damn, Mom, when you have a day off, you don't fool around," Rusty commented when his milkshake and her glass of wine arrived. His eyes widened when another thought occurred to him. "Oh, my god, you probably couldn't wait to have the condo to yourself this weekend. I'm sor—"

"Stop, Rusty, you can come home any time, no matter what. It's okay...And it'll be even more okay if you let me have some of your milkshake."

Rusty managed a small smile. "Why do you think I ordered the biggest one they have? I knew you'd drink half of it."

"I have never drunk half of your milkshake. A couple of sips, tops."

Rusty watched as his milkshake level dwindled as Sharon took a long 'sip.' "Easy, Mom, I think they might have more if you decide to order your own, for once."

Sharon gave the glass a rueful look. "I'm losing credibility here, aren't I?"

"Just a little."

Sharon took another sip and gave the glass back. "Well, you know how this works. If I don't order it, then it doesn't count."

"Even if you drink half?"

"Exactly. Not that I've ever done that."

Rusty rolled his eyes. "Right." After they'd eaten, he got Sharon's beach bag out of her car while she paid the bill and met her on the beach. "I'm glad we did this. We haven't come to the beach in forever."

"Me, too." Sharon sat on her towel and applied sunscreen, not knowing how long they would be there. She passed the tube to Rusty when she was finished. "Don't forget your—"

"Ears. I know." Rusty stuck the sunscreen back in her bag when he was finished with it and leaned back on his elbows, staring out at the ocean. It always made him feel so small. Sharon had pulled out her book and was reading, sprawled out and enjoying the sun like a cat. He watched her out of the corner of his eye for a few moments. She'd never told him, but if he had to guess, then she'd probably dealt with infidelity with Jack. And it wasn't like they could "just break up" and move on with their lives. They'd been married and had children. She hadn't told him much at all about her life with Jack, but he'd heard bits and pieces. He knew it had been difficult for her to rid herself of his financial problems, and the biggest complaint he'd heard from her was that he wasn't there for Emily and Ricky while they were growing up, or even now. He knew it had to be really bad for infidelity to not even seem to be a blip on her radar. How she could still be so civil to Jack was beyond him. "I'm sorry, Mom. I'm acting like this is the end of the world, but I still have people who love me, and there are plenty of people who have it a lot worse than I do."

Sharon marked her place in her book and closed it before she sat up. "Rusty. No matter what you're going through, there will always be someone out there who has it worse than you do. That doesn't make your feelings any less legitimate. This isn't an easy thing to deal with, and it's okay to do whatever you need to do to get through it."

Rusty nodded. Sharon could be so infuriating sometimes. She was the reason that he still had people who loved him and a reason to get up the next day. He'd almost rather her tell him to suck it up and realize that he still had an amazing life, with or without Gus. Or tell him how much worse her life with Jack had been than what he was going through now to give him some perspective. Instead, she was letting him wallow and acting like he was being perfectly reasonable about something that, in the long run, wouldn't be a big deal. A little while later, they begrudgingly agreed that it was probably time to go, so they shook the sand out of their beach towels and headed back to Sharon's car.

When they got home, Rusty took a shower while Sharon started dinner. When he was dressed again, he found her on the balcony with a glass of wine. They sat in comfortable silence for a while before Sharon got up to get dinner out of the oven. She did that thing where she put her hands on his cheeks and gave him a look that he could never quite identify. "Love you." She patted his shoulder and turned to go inside. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes."

"Love you, Mom." Rusty sat outside for a little while longer before going inside to eat. He cheered up a little when he saw that Sharon had cooked his favorite meal, but he felt guilty, too. She wouldn't have taken the time to cook if he hadn't been there. "This looks great, Mom, but we could've ordered in. I'm sure you didn't want to cook this weekend."

"Don't worry about it, honey. I wish I could do more to help you feel better, but time is all that will really help." Sharon fixed two plates and took them to the table.

Rusty eyed his plate as Sharon put it in front of him. "I don't know, Mom, you're not half bad at this."

Early Sunday afternoon, Sharon and Rusty were on the couch with bowls of ice cream and watching a movie. They'd spent much of Saturday the same way. Rusty's phone dinged with a text message, and he rolled his eyes when he read it. "Gus 'feels so bad about what happened that he hasn't slept all weekend.' Like, am I supposed to feel sorry for that shit? And how does he think I've been sleeping? If only he could've not done something to prevent this...Oh, wait..."

Sharon gave him a sympathetic smile. "Have you responded to Gus at all since Thursday night?"

Rusty shook his head. "I don't have anything to say to him. He knows how I feel about this, and that hasn't changed since we talked about it a while ago. I could've dealt with basically anything else he could've done, but...I'll never be able to trust him again."

Sharon started to respond, but Andy came in the door, interrupting her thoughts. He was obviously surprised to see Rusty, as they hadn't expected him to be back from Napa until late Sunday evening. Sharon slightly shook her head, hoping he would get the message not to say anything.

"Um, I'm going to take a shower," Rusty said hastily. He gave Sharon a meaningful look before he walked down the hall, giving her permission to tell Andy why he was already home. That wasn't anything he cared to have to explain again. Andy turned toward Sharon, waiting for an explanation.

"He found out Gus has been sleeping with his boss," Sharon explained quietly.

"Oh, wow...I wasn't expecting that." Andy ran his hand over his face. "Poor kid."

"I know." Sharon tucked her legs under her. The words she'd just said struck another nerve with her, and she couldn't figure out why. The closer they got to the wedding, the more she started agonizing over tiny things, and it was driving her crazy. She felt uncertain about the future in general, and she didn't know if it was because of the recent change in LAPD leadership, her and Andy's upcoming nuptials, or a combination of both. After the headache of the most recent case, thanks to Chief Mason's "new vision" of Major Crimes, she'd resolved to continue working just long enough to retire with the benefits of her Commander status. So far, he hadn't been the ally she'd thought he was going to be. She didn't know yet if she'd actually stick with that decision, but it sure sounded good at the time. There was a lot going on, and she needed to take some time to mentally sort through it all. She just hadn't found the time yet.

Rusty started the shower and got a towel and some clean clothes. He dragged his feet as he moved back and forth between the bathroom and his bedroom, thinking that things couldn't possibly get any worse. He had no idea that things were just getting started.