Hello all, for all of you who have never read my work before, welcome! For those of you who follow my As The Red Sun Rises fanfiction, welcome home! :) You always have a place in my stories.

So I took some creative liberties with this and explored some unconventional ideas (examples: triple agent, doing horrible things for a "justified cause" , a specific specialist with cancer, and the point that Grant Ward was described as the "upcoming Romanov"by Fury himself...and he was pretty Bad-A in season one...but then he was revealed as the bad guy and started getting sloppy. May always beats him, and he emotionally combusts, makes mistakes, can't masterfully manipulate people any more ...

I'm still not convinced that's very realistic for the "next Romanov..." even if he's "the bad guy and the bad guy's can't win." Oh, Please. Let's be honest here. So I gave him some hindrances that might have explained why he was suddenly worse at his job... also why Coulson was able to kill him so easily...I know we love Coulson...or at least we used to...but Coulson isn't Bad-A in the rest of the show...hardly ever...so suddenly being able to beat Ward? Where did that come from!? Also, I get that he has a robotic hand...but it's a hand...not an arm...

Special note, I got the Triple Agent idea from Riley Holden's "A Spy like Me." Also, I don't own Agent's of SHIELD. If I did things would be different. Very different. I've got a couple bones to pick with the writers... So not stealing! Expanding. Exploring! The rest of the ides and concepts are mine :)

Sorry for the bitter resentment in my Author's note! That's not normal for me...but for Agents of SHIELD? Like I said. I've got some bones to pick.

Enjoy!

-D.

There was a heavy sigh and static.

Silence.

One second...three...five...six-

Another sigh, then a worn out, rusty voice began in a hushed tone. Pained...a dying whisper of a breath…

"To whoever's listening to this...Fury you good for nothing-" There was a sharp intake of breath and a stilling. "Coulson...I… " Another pause, "If you're a stranger...erm...a civilian and listening to this you should stop now and take this to your nearest law-enforcement agency...anyone who hears this is a liability. They will find you and they will kill you. So please. Don't listen any further. I know, curiosity killed the cat...but this will get you killed. Really.

So...umm...to whoever is out there deemed fit to listen. My name is Grant. Agent Grant Douglas Ward. My credit card and social security are both useless. Otherwise I'd tell you to knock yourself out. I'll be dead anyways…

Kay, starting over. Finding it hard to focus...probably the morphine...probably should stop taking that...but if I'm gonna die anyways…"

Another, bone-crushing sigh,

"My name is Agent Grant Ward. I'm working a deep cover operation within two world domineering agencies. SHIELD and HYDRA. End of the day, I'm SHIELD. But for now, I'm HYDRA...I'm working a double agent who is in fact a dual double...err...triple agent. I'm fighting against SHIELD to save them...or what they stand for...or what they used to...hard to tell the now…" sigh. "I've been corresponding directly to Director...err… Mr. Fury. Gosh that's strange. Until three months ago when communication dropped. I asked for an extraction...and was denied.

Fury, just for the record. I asked for an extraction because of the cancer. Not because I wanted to make amends with the team. I'd like a little credit, I'm not actually too stupid to know when I've been given up on. But I suppose you've given up on me too, huh? Think that the cancer probably made me less effective…?I bet you already have agents in place to replace me. Probably always did…" A heavy cough coerced the line into static again. "Still here."A dry chuckle. "Still a voice in the universe somewhere...when did I become so melodramatic? Anyways...triple agent...Fury...Coulson…

As a side note to the team. You will probably never hear this, but...I'm...I'm not sorry… I wish I was. I feel awful for what I did to you. I know it was wrong and it was a despicable betrayal...but I was trying to do the right thing...the only way I knew how. Not excusing...just explaining.-" Another coughing fit, this one more violent. When the voice returned it was more wan. A grating gasp that could barely be distinguished from the static. "Fury..or whoever hears this, I attached an encrypted file with a password only SHIELD will be able to hack. HYDRA if you get this message...than by all means try and hack it. You won't be able to. And if you just erase it...which would be your best option because I have everything on you in this from 15 years of HYDRA training and field experience and espionage- It has been saved and encrypted on a number of different servers so you won't be able to erase all of them.

I was supposed to have more...but the cancer was an unforeseen variable…" a dry chuckle, "SHIELD, HYDRA, Coulson, the team, Skye, Hill, you all question if I'm human...cancer doesn't. After all of this...everything I've survived, cancer" The laugh bordered hysteria, "Cancer is what finally kills me-" Another round of coughing. This one resulting in what sounded like violent retching.

"This is my final will and testament," The voice croaked back on. "I don't have much...but all of my funds-yes the one's that SHIELD froze-Fury, I want you to pull some strings and have it made out to Evelyn Palamas; Kara Palamas' mother. You owe me that much. There's also a book of letters, hidden under the floorboards of the Swiss safe house on 78th, I have letters in there for each of my team members. They can have the one's that are addressed to them. In a field in Massachusetts, twenty miles from the house I grew up in, there' s a lock box buried with a file for Thomas Ward, and no one else. Give him those instructions, he'll know the rest. And Fury or Coulson, whichever one of you gets this, the information attached in the encrypted file should be enough to give you an upper hand. A broader understanding of HYDRA at the very least. You're welcome." It was sarcastic and bitter. 'Thanks for using me and then feeding me to the wolves' was implied but left unsaid.

As for my crimes:

I plead guilty on the charges of first and second degree murders...specifically those of Agent Billy Keonig, Victoria Hand, Darrel Finn, Peter Gonzalez, Michael Harrison, and Ymi Shia. I also admit to arson, espionage, multiple assault and battery charges, theft, kidnapping, torture and manslaughter.

As stated earlier I regret my actions and take full responsibility for them, but can not apologize as I did them for SHIELD. "

More coughing, this time with an alarming amount of choking and wheezing.

"Here's what I have on HYDRA, or rather the specific people who once made up HYDRA. I've got names, and Psych Analysis's, relations, addresses, pictures, and more to..." Cough, "You should be able to track down most of the former HYDRA personnel, at least the dangerous one's, and most of the prisoners we, errr, HYDRA released from the Fridge...it's not as much as I'd been assigned...but I'm going to die within the week, either by the cancer or by Coulson..shouldn't be too difficult for him...my bones are brittling...is that a word? I broke a finger opening a can yesterday...so yeah...Coulson will probably kill me...I have to kill Rosalind Price. And Coulson loves her. But She's a double and her mission is to kill Coulson. Fury put me in position to keep Coulson, specifically, alive...I have to kill her. All the evidence for her motives and mine are also included in the file. So um...there's another guilty plea. Call it first degree again."

A heavy silence. Labored breathing. A full minute. Then finally,

"These are the last words of Grant Ward Agent of SHIELD. Coulson, you hypocritical..." Sigh, "Listen. I know after I take out Price you're going to find me and you're probably going to kill me. Slowly. You've been pushed too far. I know. Just...try and remember um..what you used to be, please. Remember Amador? Remember how you knew her so well, that you knew she couldn't really be a traitor? And the team came up with that insane plan to get the implant out of her eye? Or Skye, um, Daisy, when you gave her chance after chance after chance...when she first joined...or... kay the list goes on. Anyways you used to be the guy who gave people chances no matter what the circumstance looked like. And I know what I did was a personal betrayal...what I'm about to do is unforgivable...just...remember after you finish with me that that's not who you are. The world needs more people with unconditional...faith...grace...um... more people who give second chances, and third and fourth...I know that's you. I hope you remember that too...when all of this is over. When Fury hands HYDRA soldiers whose families were being held hostage, or were classically conditioned from fourteen years old up...just...don't forget...

And Fury...you're no better than HYDRA. Perhaps your ideals are better...but your practices are the same. I hope you remember all of those good agents I had to put down, to maintain cover, as well as I did." The voice was strangled, "Because now they died for half a job done. Extraction and treatment aren't really all of that difficult to…" Sigh, moan. "I could have done so much more..."

"No, no. You know what. Scratch that. Here are my last words. Good luck SHIELD. You need all of it you can get. "

The static crackled and crunched as the line went dead.

Coulson stared at the opposite wall his office, shock and horror painted across his face. for none to see but the empty shadows. A fist came up to press against his mouth as though that would keep the tears burning in his eyes from spilling over. It seemed to work; they swam but did not fall. He shut them harshly as the audio recording replayed,

"To whoever's listening to this.."

"God, what have I done?" He whispered. Hiding his face in his hands. "What have I done?"

PLEASE REVIEW! Tell me what you think! I want to hear it all, the good the bad and the ugly. ;) Is this something that you think would be interesting to discuss in greater depth? Maybe his perspective as a triple as major events happened? Or how each of the team takes it? Or...something else? Or should I just leave it as complete? Tell me what you think. PLEASE! :) Love you all, dear readers.

Kudos!

-D.