Disclaimer: I still don't own the twins or Fushigi Yuugi.... I'm just way too poor.

Warning: Shounen ai, kissing, incest...... can't think anymore....

A/N: Hi everybody! I've finally had time to update this story, considering the huge projects I had to do and my computer-less and interenet-less trip. The only thing I did on the trip was think of many ideas for new fics. I also realized that my fic Grief's Bondage has almost no point. I went way off track with the twins when it was supposed to be a bit more about Tasuki, but oh well I always seem to add the twins anyway. Now back to this fanfiction. I hope you enjoy reading this and please review.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* After what seemed like ages Amiboshi collapsed on the ground from his continuous running. He didn't know what he was doing any more. He was completely out of control. His brother never would love him in the same way, he was even in love with some girl that didn't even give him a loving glance. 'What's so special about her anyway?'

Slowly he pushed himself off the ground to get his face out of the wild grass. When he looked around he noticed that he was in his usual, but not so secret place of solitude. He nearly laughed about how even though he was hanging over the edge he was still able to make his way to this spot.

He slowly, but painfully, attempted to stand but failed miserably and landed right next to the sakura tree that he cherished. Slowly he got into a sitting position and looked at the sakura. He softly spoke, "Oh dear friend. I wish to talk to you about my miserable life, if that isn't to much to ask..." He paused, but after an awkward moment of silence continued. "I have come to love my brother, in such a way... most people would call it incestuous. They would say that it's not natural to love your brother and identical twin... they're probably right too... but I don't care! Some might even say that I only seem to love him, but I'm really just in love with my own image, but that's not how it is. I love everything about Shun, from the way he walks to how he laughs. Everything. But I hate myself... I don't really deserve him, not really, I'm just a person that always needs solitude and runs away from all their problems and difficult situations. I hope you understood a little bit of what I said although I won't ever be able to understand it myself..."

After his pathetic speech that he told to a... tree. He felt better even though he noticed what he just did was beyond loneliness. As he tried to push the thought away he got out his flute and began to play all his self turmoil into his song.

~*~

Suboshi had been waiting in his room for hours. The sun was already setting for Seiryu's sake. "Where could Aniki be?!" He had been pacing the room ever since he got back. What if something had happen to his aniki... although it wasn't very likely. Aniki could really handle tough situations better than anyone else.

Suboshi quickly turned his head at the soft creak of the door opening. He quickly pounced on the figure. "Aniki!" The recent action left Suboshi on top of his brother who ended up with his back against the wall.

"Uhhhh.... Hello Shun." Koutoku said with a smile and a strange gleam in his eyes. He slowly tried to push Suboshi off of him... but it didn't work out. He ended up gasping and his arm gripping at his side.

Quickly Suboshi scrambled off and helped him... actually carried him onto the bed. He worriedly asked, "What's wrong? What happened?!"

Koutoku weakly patted Suboshi's hand. "I must still be weak from last night..." Suboshi all most asked what was wrong when Koutoku awkwardly stopped, but decided not to and instead inquired, "Maybe I should get the doctor..."

Before he could finish Koutoku quickly said, "No, no, I'm find I just need a little rest..."

"Are you sure?" Suboshi was getting even more agitated about his aniki. What could have caused his injuries and why would he be acting this way.

"Yes, I'm sure," stated Koutoku, although he looked like he was lieing. Well, actually he looked like he was going to collapse any second now.

Suboshi slowly edged to the door. " Maybe I should... Just to make sure. Ya know you can't be too careful. Although those shrinks usually are just a waste of time..."

"Why don't you just do it!"

Suboshi just stared at his brother who just about screamed at him for being worried. He hadn't even done anything besides trying to make sure he was all right. "Are you sure..."

"I am. And you might want to check before I sprint out of this room." Suboshi gaped at his brother, again, he'd never been this irritable. 'Something must be really wrong with him, or I'm just going crazy.'

Very cautiously Suboshi edged back over to his brother. He softly stated, "I hope your happy that I'm going to have to 'exam' you now. And I don't have a clue on how to do it, or what to look for." After that said he put his hand on his aniki's forehead. He almost flinched away from the heat. He mindlessly said, "Aniki, you're burning up! You must have a fever or something."

Koutoku replied, "I might, but I have an idea. Shun can you tell if there's anything wrong with you?"

Suboshi hit his head for not remebering, "I can't believe I forgot I could do that. I'm such a idiot." Suboshi carefully looked and felt to see if there was anything wrong with himself. When he got to his ribs he felt a very sharp pain and gasped, but besides that and a weird distant feverish feeling, there wasn't anything.

When he looked at Koutoku to say that he was finished. He saw that his brother had his hands gripped painfully. His brother softly asked, "So what does the 'doctor' have to say?"

Suboshi just laughed and said, "Well, I think you've got a fever and maybe broke your ribs, but besides that there's nothing." After that said he gently laid down next to Koutoku and sighed.

~*~

When Shun laid next to him, Amiboshi became frightened and felt the need of his brother become overwhelming. 'I can't let this happen. He's my twin brother, he's even in love with some girl. I have to control myself... ~ but why should you? You deserve it and he would be more than willing to give it to you if you asked...~' Amiboshi almost gasped at the inner voice that popped out of no where. It kept on telling why he had the right to touch and love his brother, and made him start to believe its lies.

Slowly Amiboshi shifted to look at his brother. Shun had his eyes closed and looked like he was peacefully sleeping, or something to that extent. Amiboshi just stared with passion and love at his brother. Cautiously Amiboshi inched his way closer to Shun until he was towering over him. Silently he bent forward and started to passionately kiss Shunkaku.

When he first started the kiss he saw his brother's eyes open with confusion which quickly changed into shock and fear. Shun quickly started to fight him and tried to scream when he forced his mouth open with his tongue. He quickly let his tongue dive in for the small bit of flavor of his brother.

Finally Amiboshi broke the kiss because of the need for oxygen. After he got his panting breath under control he looked down to see that his brother was crying uncontrollably. In Shun's eyes he saw pain, shock, and even fear.

Amiboshi quickly flung himself off the bed, away from his brother, when he saw the pain, the broken trust which had built over the years come crashing down. He knew that it was all his fault. He didn't control his emotions, his need for his twin. He felt his broken heart be obliterated in to nothingness by the despair that he had just hurt the one he treasured more than life itself. He felt tears start to roll down his cheeks, but didn't care because the agony he felt was just too great.

When he heard the soft foot steps of his brother he knew his life had ended. There was no place for him in this world. He quickly calmed himself down when he saw the figure of Shunkaku stop before him. He slowly looked up into the eyes that held so much pain.

Shunkaku asked in distress, "Why Aniki?! Why did you do that? What's wrong with you? You've been acting so strange. You've been avoiding me, you won't even talk to me, and now you've kissed me for the second time! What's wrong with you? I don't understand!"

Amiboshi just stared while Shunkaku uttered the words of pain. He couldn't believe that Shun hadn't figured it out yet. Slowly he pushed himself up and softly spoke with no emotion what so ever, "Haven't you figured it out Shun? I thought you would have by now. I have to stay away from you, or else I'll hurt you again. Maybe even worse than what I've just done. I do this for you, Shun. It hurts me every time we're apart, even though it's the best thing for us. Sometimes I even hurt myself when I forced myself into solitude because I thought if I was with you I'd end up hurting you, but if I hurt myself it wouldn't matter because unless you pay close attention to our bond you wouldn't notice anything..."

Suboshi just stood there staring at him and quietly asked, "What could cause you to hurt me Aniki. I still don't understand what's wrong with you?"

Amiboshi swallowed and dropped his eyes to the floor when he spoke, "I love you Shun... That's the reason I have to stay away from you because if I don't then my love for you will over come my mind and will and hurt you. And I don't want that ever to happen. I'm sorry Shunkaku. I never wanted this to happen, but I love you and I'll keep on loving you no matter what happens, because I can't push my emotions away. I'm really sorry Shun, if only I could destroy my emotions then none of this would have happened...."

Amiboshi quickly looked up at his brother and saw the shock and pain on his face. Quickly he picked himself up and ran away. Trying to run away from his problems, his pain. He kept on running when he ran out of the Kutou palace, even though it was raining. He didn't even notice how wet he was or how it was very cold and dark. All he did know was that this was the only thing he could do for his brother, to leave. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I hope you liked this. Please tell me what you like so far..... And maybe I'll write update faster.