A/N: New chapter is up! Sorry for the long wait, I'm trying to get back on track after the winter break. This chap is Sasuke-centred and things get a little ugly, but it throws more light on his past.

Warnings: angst, self-hatred, mentions of past tragedy and violence.

Sasuke woke to the light chirping of birds in the forest and a cool morning breeze on the bare skin of his shoulders, begrudgingly coming back from the realm of beautiful dreams, where he held his mate, an omega with a charming smile and an endlessly kind heart, in his arms, shielding him from all the hardships in the world, to the harsh reality where he was painfully alone. He felt his whole body ache from the uncomfortable position that he was currently in and from the shiftings he had undergone in the last twenty four hours. But at the same time there was an unfamiliar but highly pleasant hum somewhere deep in his chest, as if a mechanism keeping him alive finally got the gears it had been lacking for so long and now functioned properly, creating a smooth and orderly flow of warmth that threatened to flood his system. It was a wonderful feeling, and Sasuke didn't want to open his eyes, fearing that it would go away once he was fully awake. A whole minute passed before he creaked one bleary eye open to glance around, expecting to find himself somewhere deep in the woods in a self-made hole or in a clearing, which was always the case when he shifted back after the full moons, but what Sasuke saw made blood run cold in his veins.

There, on the cold floor of a metal cage he had Asuma build for him, lay the omega he longed for, curled in on himself and covered in blood and dirt. He was barely at an arm's length and Sasuke could make out with merciless clarity every scratch, every bruise and every ugly gash on the otherwise smooth unblemished skin. Even featherly soft fair hair were matted and dull, laying flat and tangled on the head, turned just so that Sasuke couldn't see the omega's face. But he didn't need to, he'd recognise him anywhere by the slightest whiff of his scent - now a perfect mix of them both. Uzumaki Naruto now belonged to him.

The thought came so suddenly and brought him such immense satisfaction, Sasuke clutched his head in his hands, tugging hard at the black shaggy tresses to get rid of the crazed possessiveness that started taking over any rational though left in his useless brain. How could this happen? His breath came in short panicked pants, which made matters worse, as he inevitably inhaled more of the stench that soaked into every corner of this wretched place. It screamed of sex, heat and blood - a sign that his omega was marked by him and was his and his alone now - but Sasuke didn't want that to happen. He would never have done it willingly to someone, let alone an unsuspecting unmated omega like Naruto. That's why he'd been so adamant about the cage. And Naruto knew very well about his condition, how on Earth did he end up here?

Sasuke reached towards the naked injured figure with a trembling hand. He was so small, and seemed even more so in this helpless position. When Sasuke touched his left shoulder, carefully avoiding the deep bite marks his own teeth had inflicted, Naruto flinched ever so slightly, but that was enough for Sasuke to immediately snatch his hand away as if burned, even though the skin was really cold to the touch. That discovery kicked him into action, the need to help his mate overpowering the disgust he felt for himself at the moment.

He nervously scooted closer to Naruto, getting on his knees and gently taking the frail omega into his arms, making sure he got a good grip on him before standing up. Sasuke swayed a bit but didn't let the soreness in his muscles stop him from carrying the blond out of the damned cage and away from the barn. Only in the yard he dared to glance down at Naruto's face, framed by damp dirtied locks and stained with tear streaks, but still as soft and angelic as it was before the whole nightmare had happened. Sasuke's heart clenched when he imagined it contorted with anger and contempt once he found out what Sasuke had done to him. He shooed the unpleasant thought away and made himself look straight ahead as he entered the house through the wrecked back door.

The velvety skin under his fingers and the scent of the omega he held so close still affected him, and Sasuke felt blood pool at the bottom of his stomach, pumped by his madly beating heart. The full moon may have left the sky but his rut was still there, and Sasuke knew his treacherous body wouldn't mind another round with the sweet ripe omega he already claimed. They already sealed the deal, so why not take up this wonderful opportunity and take his mate again in the bedroom, pound him into the mattress nice and hard until the sheets are soaked with omega slick and his thick cu-

"God damnit! Focus, Uchiha, you pathetic scum," Sasuke hissed, stopping in front of the staircase and taking deep shuddering breaths in attempt to extinguish the desire that lit his blood on fire and roared in his ears, making it incredibly hard to follow with the task at hand. He needed to help Naruto, clean him, tend to his wounds and get him into a warm comfortable bed. He could do this.

The walk up the stairs was torturously slow and by the time he reached the bathroom, Sasuke was shaking and sweating, but still holding Naruto safely in his arms. He carefully put him in the tub and fumbled with the shower head at the sink, getting the temperature just right before rinsing away blood and grime from the prone tan body with a lathered washcloth. When pink water that went down the drain finally became clear, Sasuke ran the bath halfway to keep Naruto warm while he got antiseptic and the healing salve Chiyo had given him for such purposes. The kit was missing from the cabinet though, so he had to go fetch one from the supplies closet downstairs. Passing his bedroom, he pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt to cover his own dirty body for the time being, and when he entered the living room he was glad he had done that.

Another alpha was lying on the couch, the heavy scent particularly irritating now that Sasuke's senses were on high alert. He was asleep and seemingly injured, if laboured breathing and the sharp smell of medicaments that wafted off him were anything to go by. But however harmless, his presence made Sasuke tense and would've had his hackle raised, if he were in his wolf form. It took all his willpower to stifle the menacing growl when the alpha turned slightly in his uneasy sleep, and that was when Sasuke saw his face. It was Asuma, with a huge black eye that bloomed wide and spread almost to the middle of his cheek. He had other scraps and bruises but what shocked Sasuke most was his bandaged arm, broken or dislocated he couldn't tell, but it was obviously his fault. The sight must've stirred his fuzzy memory of the disastrous night, because Sasuke started recalling the events bit by bit.

He remembered speaking with Naruto, admiring his expressive face in the rays of the setting sun as the blond talked, remembered the sound of his wonderful melodious voice, and how peaceful and right he felt at that moment until he sensed danger coming from the back yard. One moment he was melting under the soft caresses Naruto generously gave him, and the other he was crouched on the ground ready to tear apart the intruder. Then he attacked, the hot bitter scent of the fallen alpha's blood clear in the fresh summer air. He remembered the excitement of being close to getting his chosen mate to submit, only to be shoved into the cold metal cage to suffer under strong waves of helpless lust and longing, being unable to do anything but watch his omega leave him for another, weaker alpha. The pain of betrayal was unbearable until it got swept away by the sweet warm presence of his mate, still untouched, still his to claim. And then it was pure bliss.

Sasuke swayed on his feet and clutched his head, not trusting himself to be able to relive that part and still function properly to help Naruto. He hurried to get what he came for and headed upstairs at once, forcing himself to ignore the man in the living room and deciding to deal with shame and remorse later. It was a real challenge to get Naruto out of the tub and into his room, but Sasuke managed just fine, only catching himself ogling the naked body once. He made sure to take care of every injury Naruto had because of him, from the angry red marks on his shoulder to the light scrapes on his knees that were bruising rather badly as well. The moment Sasuke started cleaning the puffy reddened hole the wolf had abused with his knot, he wanted nothing more than to beat himself up so badly he wouldn't be able to get up for weeks, and even then he was sure he would feel like a total piece of shit for putting Naruto through something like this.

What made things worse, even unconscious the blond was making small whimpers every time Sasuke put too much pressure on the sensitive sore skin, as if reminding him that he was only so good at hurting the ones he cared about. Be it Asuma, a sturdy alpha who could stand his ground, or Shikamaru, an beta whose power lay mainly with his brains - the wolf didn't care, but the fact that he ended up hurting Naruto was the last straw for Sasuke, and he could practically feel himself starting to crumble on the inside from regret and self-hatred.

He knew from the start that he wouldn't be able to ever find someone who would want to create a family with him, but Naruto was different. He was the first Sasuke had felt a real connection with, the one who he wanted to call his mate so much it actually hurt. And what did he do? He ruined his chance with the omega, however small and hypothetical, with his own hands. Or rather with his abominable shifted form.

Sasuke pulled one of his shirts over Naruto's head and carefully put his arms through the holes, finally giving the blond some decency. Then he proceeded to tuck him in his bed, arranging the pillows and covers so that he would be comfortable and warm. It was the least Sasuke could do for him now, and when he stepped away from the cocoon of fabric he created, he pretended that the blurriness of his vision was from fatigue rather than bitter tears welling up in his eyes.

He needed to get away from Naruto, he knew he did, and yet the temptation to get under the covers with him and stay there forever was so strong Sasuke had to bite the inside of his cheek hard to get his mind going in the right direction. Luckily, the bitter taste of his own blood helped him to snap out of it and leave the room to go downstairs, even though the growing hard on in his pants was making it rather difficult. Sasuke knew he wouldn't hold out long, so he needed to get as far away from the house while he was still thinking straight. He was heading for the front door when a voice from the living room stopped him.

"Sasuke, is that you?" Asuma woke up and by the sound of it was standing up from the couch, his pained grumble quite audible in the quiet house. Soon he emerged from the room and leaned heavily against the wall, facing Sasuke and locking his dark brown eyes with guilty black ones. "Is he alright?"

Of course, Asuma realised what had happened, must have felt it in Sasuke's new, omega-infused scent. Sasuke felt a lump form in his throat, making it incredibly hard to speak. He forced himself to answer nonetheless, voice coming out thick and hoarse, "He's...resting."

"I knew he'd go to the cage," Asuma paused, "I couldn't stop him," he sighed tiredly. "It was his choice to-"

"No," Sasuke knew Asuma was trying to make him feel better, but this was just bullshit, "None of what happened could've been his choice," the words lay heavy on Sasuke's tongue and left a sour taste. "He's... I... I marked him when I was-," Sasuke couldn't bring himself to say it, everything was just so awfully wrong, "He shouldn't have been here at all and," he looked around himself, suddenly feeling like a trapped animal. An animal that he truly was, "I can't stay here," he moved to open the door.

"Sasuke," Asuma's voice held a certain gravity to it, and that made him still for a moment. "You know you won't be able to go on without him for long now," Sasuke gulped. Oh, he knew it very well, but luckily, it didn't work for Naruto the same it did for an Uchiha, and if suffering a broken bond meant the blond's safety from the ugly beast, Sasuke would gladly endure it.

"I'll learn to cope," he said and pushed the door open, going away from the house with a heavy heart and mind set to stay out of Naruto's life. However hard it would be.

The next two days Sasuke spent in the woods, shifting when night fell. The urge to seek out his mate was strong but he could keep it under control, occupying himself with hunting easy prey and running until his legs were numb. Still it was hard to go into withdrawal and deprive himself of the sweet omega scent, tinged perfectly with his own, this early into their bond, which Sasuke knew he felt much more acutely than Naruto. The beast inside him didn't take the separation well, and every so often Sasuke felt sharp pangs in his chest, a nasty reminder of how far he was from his mate, who needed his care and protection, needed to be pampered and catered for. Only it was not the case. Deep down Sasuke understood that Naruto wouldn't want to see his face, let alone take anything from him. At least it was justified and until Sasuke had a more or less firm grip on his consciousness, he was determined to ignore the pain tearing through his insides and do what was right. It was for Naruto's sake, he kept telling himself in weak attempts to reason with the wolf, who blindly followed his instincts and howled at the waning moon, broken and more alone than he ever was.

At one point Sasuke found himself in a clearing where the old shrine stood, dilapidated by time and weather and slowly but steadily collapsing in on itself. That was where Naruto hid from him the night they met. The place still held the faint traces of Naruto's scent, rich and heady from heat coursing through his body at the time, but also a tad bitter from fear and panic that Sasuke had been the source of. Unlike that night Sasuke could shift back (oh how he wished he could have done it then) and slip through the hole into the lower level of the old wooden building in his human form. His eyes immediately adjusted to the dark and Sasuke slowly took in the interior, ruined almost beyond recognition.

He had been in the shire once, his mother took him there on a beautiful warm spring day when the nature was just waking up from a long winter slumber, filling the air with fresh new scents that sang of young life and its excited vigour. Sasuke also remembered clearly his mother's soothing scent and the comforting weight of her arms around him. He was five years old and fairly small for his age, but Mikoto firmly believed that he would grow tall and strong and cooed at him how happy she was to still be able to hold him close to her heart. The day stood vividly before Sasuke's eyes, painting the bleak surroundings with the colours of the past, while Mikoto's words rang loudly in his head.

"This is a very special place, Sasuke. You see that altar? That's where the mighty moon god Tsukuyomi ties two souls together, forging a beautiful life-long bond between mates."

The flat slab of rock set in the middle of the room, that inspired so much awe in Sasuke back then, now stood dirty grey and unassuming, looking like a useless attribute of some long lost pagan tradition. It made his heart heavy with indiscernible emotion that tugged unpleasantly at his gut, making him sick and uneasy.

In the summer that followed his excursion to the shrine, two memorable things happened: he turned six and thus officially became an alpha, his father scent marking him as his heir before a small group of relatives who had come to the main house for the occasion, and before that, in July, Itachi mated with their cousin Shisui. Sasuke didn't quite understand how mate dynamics worked yet, but he knew that his brother was the happiest he had been in his entire life ever since he went to the shrine with Shisui and came out soaked with the strong fragrance of ceremonial oils and Shisui's distinct alpha scent. That was why when it was time for him to make a birthday wish, Sasuke wished to have a wonderful mate one day and be endlessly happy, just like his brother.

Now that Sasuke thought of it, his forgotten childhood wish might have come true in the end, for he barely had the chance to be with his mate before he lost him, just like Itachi. At the end of that same summer he and Shisui went for a jog in the woods, going in their wolf forms because they both had been very much in tune with their beast side and could easily shift any time of the day. Sasuke was too young then and couldn't really see the appeal of running around on all fours, nor did he grow used to it as he grew older, thinking of shifting as a heavy burden and even a curse rather than a nice perk to enjoy. It was largely due to the public opinion that deemed full shifters to be freaks of nature and extremely dangerous no mater the circumstances. But there was another reason, which was so painful to acknowledge Sasuke sometimes pretended it was just a figment of his imagination, that nourished his nightmares and often kept him awake at night.

Itachi and Shisui set out early in the morning, saying they wanted to be by the mountain river bank by noon, but when night fell it was only Itachi who returned. Sasuke remembered well the moment Itachi stumbled into the front yard on two feet, hair damp and tangled, hands and knees scraped and dirty. Sasuke dropped the red ball he'd been playing with, a present from uncle Teyaki, and came up to Itachi, but immediately recoiled when he saw an absolutely foreign expression on his brother's face. It looked as if it was frozen all over and resembled a lifeless mask, only his eyes were blazing red and so intense Sasuke could never forget them ever since. In the depths of those crimson orbs was utter madness, and every time Sasuke recalled that look, a cold shiver ran down his spine. He remembered wanting to ask Itachi what was wrong but couldn't bring himself to say a word to the stranger before him, because something told Sasuke that was no longer the Itachi he knew. Then his mother came running into the yard and soon his brother was taken into his room and treated with care and caution.

Sasuke didn't know what had happened until he asked his father where Shisui was the next day. In fact, Fugaku was very vague on the subject, but when Sasuke sneaked out of his room later in the evening to visit Itachi, he heard a hushed conversation in the living room, where the whole family had gathered. They talked of "a tragic accident", "fast waters", "miscarriage" and "cruel fate", and while the words made very little sense to Sasuke, the grave intonations told him that something truly awful had transpired in the woods and that Itachi would never be the same. What he, nor anyone in the family could expect was the extent of damage that Itachi's mind had suffered, and the blind rage he went into a couple of days later.

Sasuke remembered only bits and pieces of the night the fire claimed his whole family, but he knew that the one who caused it was his brother. His angry screams that woke Sasuke up quickly turned to anguished howls and feral snarls. The moment he got downstairs the living room was already destroyed and heavy smoke was creeping into it from the kitchen, but it couldn't prevent him from seeing the mutilated bodies of his aunt and uncle lying motionlessly on the heavily scraped floor. The sounds of struggle came from the back yard and Sasuke wanted to go there and see what was going on with his own eyes, but Mikoto stopped him and quickly carried him out of the house. The next thing he knew he was blindly running through the thick forest growth towards the meadow, his back turned on the glaring orange blaze, consuming his home and the life he had up to that moment.

Sasuke took in a sharp breath, the painful memories making his head pulse with dull ache. He took a couple of steps further into the dark room, stopping at the spot where he could make out Naruto's footprints. There the omega's scent was the strongest and Sasuke sank to the dirty floor, inhaling deeply and eagerly, as if trying to fool his brain into believing he was close to his mate again. Of course, mixed with dust and grime it was not enough, and Sasuke let out a long frustrated groan which turned into a dry sob at the end and was followed by a pitiful whine. He refused to get up though, feeling that after what he had done he was in his rightful place - on his knees, mourning the absence of the only person who could make his life complete, but would hardly ever want to do that. And for that Sasuke could only blame himself.

Next chapter Sasuke's POV will continue, also there will be a time skip. I promise to update sooner! ;)