Luna waited in her room for Lori to get home. When she heard the front door open, she went into the hall. Lori appeared at the top of the stairs. "Why didn't you wait for me?"

"I couldn't leave them alone with the younger kids," Luna said, and Lori nodded in understanding. "Are you ready to talk to Lisa? I wanna get to the bottom of this."

"Yeah," Lori said, and drew a deep breath, "I'm ready." In actuality, she was not. She had many of the same thoughts as Luna, and had come to a shocking realization: She was terrified of her second-youngest sister. Lori didn't know much about science, so Lisa was already literally a wizard as far as she was concerned, and when you corner a wizard, bad shit can happen.

Luna went to the little girl's door and knocked. Lori fell in behind her and crossed her arms protectively over her chest.

"Enter," Lisa called.

Luna opened the door and went in, Lori bringing up the rear. Lisa sat at her computer, her back to them. "Hey, Lise," Luna said, "we, uh, need to talk."

"About?"

Luna glanced at Lori. Back me up, dude.

"About Lincoln and Luan...and Lynn...and Leni."

Lisa, hitherto typing, stopped and turned. "What about them?"

"Come on, Lise," Luna said. "You've seen the way they've been acting...and how Mom and Dad treat it like it's normal...what did you do to them?"

Lisa sighed and pushed her fingers under her glasses, pinching the bridge of her nose. "As I told Lynn yesterday, I brainwashed our parents to accept Lincoln and Luan's incestuous proclivities. I did not do it of my own free will; I was blackmailed."

"So...you didn't, like, run any weird experiments on them?" Lori asked cautiously.

"No, I did not," Lisa said. "I do not condone what they are doing nor do I wish to have any part of it, but my hand was forced. If I were you, I'd forget the matter entirely and live my life despite the fact that my siblings are disgusting social degenerates."

Luna nodded. "That'd be a good idea...if it wasn't getting worse. Yesterday it was Lincoln and Luan, today it's Lincoln, Luan, Lynn, and Leni. This morning I told Lynn not to touch you, the twins, or Lucy, and she said they would if they wanted to."

"Is that the reason you punched her in the face?"

Luna nodded.

With a sigh, Lisa looked away. "It is starting to get out of hand. Irish statesman and philosopher Edmund Burke famously said, 'The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.' By standing idly by we are supporting Lincoln's, Luan's, Leni's, and Lynn's perversion and allowing it to grow. What can we do? Luan has dirt on all of us. I could very well go to jail for some of the things I've done, and I rather like my freedom."

Luna thought for a minute. "You brainwashed Mom and Dad, right? Why can't you brainwash Lincoln, Luan, Leni, and Lynn to forget they're attracted to one another?"

Lisa blinked. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"Do you think it'll work?" Lori asked.

"I don't see why it wouldn't," Lisa said and got up. She went to her closet, opened it, and disappeared. She came out after a few seconds with a device that resembled a gun with an antenna dish sticking out of the barrel. "Could you have our deviant siblings come see me, please?"

Luna and Lori went downstairs into the living room...and froze at what they saw. Lola stood on the couch and passionately kissed Lincoln while Lucy's head bobbed up and down between his legs. Lincoln's fingers threaded through Lola's blonde hair, and she held his face in her gloved hands. Luan and Lynn ran their hands over Lana's naked body. "This actually feels really good," Lana panted.

Luna snapped. Shoving past Lori, she stalked over to Lincoln and yanked the shit out of his cowlick. His head whipped back and he cried out. "Hey!" Lola yelled.

Lynn and Luan got up and started coming for her. Six-year-olds...an eight-year-old...fucking perverts! Luna hit Luan with a spinning kick, and the girl fell against the wall. Baring her teeth, Lynn charged, and Luna punched her in the face.

Lori shrank back, her hands going to her face.

"You crazy bitch!" Lola shrieked, and leapt over the back of the couch, hitting Luna and making her stumble. "That was my first kiss, and you ruined it!" She wrapped one arm around Luna's neck and balled the other in a fist. Before Luna could speak, that fist crashed into her jaw. Lola threw a second punch that hit Luna's lip: Blood filled her mouth.

Luna grabbed the back of Lola's dress and flung her across the room, wincing when she hit the wall and sank to the floor. She didn't have time to wonder whether she was alright or not, though, for Lucy came around the side of the couch; Luna noted the cum dripping down her chin and gagged, giving Lucy enough time to punch Luna in the stomach. The rocker doubled over, and Lucy grabbed both sides of her head, but before she could bring her knee up, Lori slapped her hard in the face, and she went down.

Shrieking, Lynn dove at Lori and crashed into her legs; Lori fell with a sharp cry, and Lynn scrambled on top of her, grabbing her by the front of her tank top and punched her in the cheek. Luna went to help, but Luan grabbed her by the back of the shirt and spun her around: A quick jab hit Luna in the face, and her head jerked back. That little bitch. She retaliated with a hard slap that sent Luan reeling; she followed it up with a slap to the other cheek. She then grabbed the front of Luan's shirt. "How could you?" she yelled. "Your little sisters!"

Luna screamed when something cold and metal smashed into the back of her leg. Her knee gave out and she went down. "I was having fun!" Lana cried, and brought the firepoker down onto Luna's back. Across the room, Lola moaned and stirred before losing consciousness again.

At the front of the stairs, Lori had rolled on top of Lynn and was battering her with a flurry of slaps, screaming and crying hysterically. Luna was lying face-down on the floor, panting as hot pain radiated through her body. Lana lifted the poker again, but Lincoln grabbed her by the wrist. "Stop!"

Luan struggled to her feet and brought her fist around: It connected with the back of Lori's head, knocking her off of Lynn. Next to Lincoln, Lucy got up and kicked Luna in the side.

"Guys!" Lincoln cried, his heart racing. "Come on! Stop! Please!"

Lori pushed herself into a sitting position, and Luan kicked her in the knee.

Lincoln opened his mouth, but the sound of gunfire filled the room, and everyone froze. "That's enough," Lisa said tightly. She was standing on the stairs, her Lugar pointed at the ceiling.

Everyone glanced at each other.

Lisa came down the stairs, and Luan, Lynn, and Lori scurried out of the way, their faces pale. "I take full responsibility for brainwashing our parents, but this –" she waved the gun around, and everyone shrank back like vampires from a cross –"this is your doing. Look at yourselves, tearing each other apart – sexually and otherwise. What's wrong with you? In the span of – what has it been, three days? – you've managed to utterly destroy your relationship with your family...and for what? Sexual pleasure? Are you really such untermensch as to place your own base desires selfishly above your family?"

Everyone hung their heads in shame.

"I ought to exterminate the lot of you. What you've done here today reveals that the bonds this family shares are far more brittle than they would appear. How you can copulate with your sister or your brother – or smash your sister in the back with a goddamn firepoker – is beyond me. I'm a literal Nazi and even I could never bring myself to kick my own sister when she's down." She looked pointedly at Lucy, whose face blushed. "This episode leaves me wondering after our future – what else will come along and make you try to kill one another?"

Lynn started to cry, and so did Lucy. Lori put her arms around Lynn and drew her close: Lynn hugged her tight.

Lucy knelt and slipped her arms around Luna's neck, pressing her face into her older sister's back and weeping. Lana dropped the poker, knelt on Luna's other side, and rubbed her back, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Luna," she said, "I'm so sorry."

Lincoln drew a deep, watery breath. This was ultimately his fault: He was so blinded by his recently discovered lust that he allowed himself to hurt his family. He fell to his knees, fisted the carpet, and sobbed. Luan rested her head against Lori's back and put her arms around her oldest sister's waist. This was her fault. She was the one who talked Lincoln into brain washing their parents so that they could be open, and into bringing their other sisters in. She did it for selfish reasons: Once she admitted her attraction for Lincoln, she admitted too her attraction for her sisters. She didn't mean for it to get out of hand like this...

Shaking her head, Lisa walked into the living room among her siblings. She noticed Leni was missing...then saw her peeking around the corner from the kitchen, her eyes red and wet. "Come in here, Leni," Lisa said.

Leni did, moving slowly and fearfully. "I went to get a drink...I didn't hurt anyone. Please don't shoot me."

"I'm not going to shoot you," Lisa sighed, then looked around the room. "Everyone gather in front of me. "

Touching, holding hands, helping each other, the Loud kids mustered in front of Lisa, ready to do as she said without question, for in that moment they realized that she was wiser than any of them.

"I am going to wipe your memories of this incident and ensure that you are all programmed to be better to one another. Understood?"

Everyone nodded.

Lisa held up the dish-gun and pulled the trigger: A bright green light bathed her siblings' faces, and their eyes went wide. "None of you will ever be sexually attracted to each other again. None of you will hit each other...or kick, or bite, or scratch. You will be better siblings and you will treat each other with kindness, tenderness, and love. Understood?"

Everyone nodded mechanically. "Good." She took her finger off the trigger and went upstairs as her siblings came back to their senses. None of them knew how they got the bruises, cuts, and headaches that day; Lucy did not know why her mouth tasted funny, nor did she know why there was drool crusted to her chin; Lana did not know why she was naked...but they did know one thing: They loved each other greatly, and from that moment on, they were always good, and kind, and tender to one another.

And they were never attracted to each other. Yuck. Why would they be?