Memories

"No matter how much suffering you went through, you never wanted to let go of those memories"

-Haruki Murakami

When Fives opened his eyes, he found himself in a glistening white corridor, eerily similar to Kamino. But, unlike Kamino's sterile, too bright halls which filled him with unease, he felt a strange contentment. It was a feeling he hadn't felt in a long time, not since Echo died.

For a moment guilt outweighed all other feelings, he broke his promise. He never was great at undercover work, that was Echo's specialty, Fives preferred to go in and blow things sky high. Echo often berated him about that, amongst other things that were apparently always his fault. A small smile pulled at his lips as he thought about their many late-night conversations.

"So, there's this one reg about–" Echo started, the soft glow of his datapad illuminating his face in the darkness of the barracks.

Fives groaned loudly, rolling over to glare at his brother through slited eyes.

"Echo…" he whined, "I'm trying to sleep!"

Echo simply, quirked an eyebrow at him, causing Fives to flush in embarrassment.

"What?" he snapped defensively.

"Fives, if that's what you call sleep, I think you need to have a talk with Kix and Coric about basic bodily functions, because you seem to have two of them confused."

"Echo!" he snapped, face burning as his brother laughed at his misery, "Just… just tell me about your stupid reg."

Echo scowled at the stupid comment, but looked back down at his 'pad.

"We're apparently prohibited from using 'foul' language under Section 48, Paragraph 89."

"That's a load of osik," Fives snapped, pushing himself up onto his elbows, "You're making that up."

"I'm not, and under Section 87, Paragraph 65 any form of pornography is also prohibited," Echo smirked, side-eying him, "Don't know what you're going to do, vod."

"You're joking," he gaped, "Give me that!"

Fives lunged toward the 'pad, forgetting his state of undress. Echo deftly avoided his brother's advances, with a mock look of disgust.

"Kriff no! Force knows where your hands have been!"

Fives' eyes narrowed as his vod ducked around him,before they glistened at the thought of a challenge. Echo eyed him warily, recognizing that look to be nothing but trouble. Unfortunately, after such a long time staring at his datapad, his eyes hadn't yet adjusted to the darkness. Therefore, he didn't see his brother's change in stance until it was too late.

Fives tackled him, going low to take out his legs and knocking him off balance. They toppled, hitting the floor in a tangle of arms and legs. Both wrestling for control of the datapad, at least until the 'pad went skidding across the floor. Then it was just to see who came out on top.

The tattooed man finally ended up pinning his clean-shaven brother, with his hands struggling to keep hold on his wrists. All the while, Echo glared darkly at him, but there was a dark gleam in his eyes, one that put Fives on edge.

But, before either of them could move the door swished open and the lights came on.

"Ok, I know you boys just got back," the man was saying, "But they are requiring all unit physicals be completed by– Kriff!" Kix yelped, taking a half step back, "A little warning next time, fek."

"Kix?" Fives gasped, face turning bright red, taking in what this must look like with him in his butt naked glory.

"Obviously. Look I don't want to know; though I was fairly certain you didn't swing that way, Fives," the medic mumbled, shaking his head.

Echo burst out laughing, as Fives tried to come up with a response. Though, looking at his brother's amused face, he scowled and set his jaw. He was not going to be the butt end of a joke.

"I don't know, Kix, there's always room for one more," he said lewdly, grinning at the medic who frowned in distaste, ignoring Echo who was gasping for air.

"No thanks, besides I don't think the fun would have last much longer," Kix grinned, explaining at Fives' inquiring look, "It looks like Echo was about to knee you in the balls. But, anyway finish whatever this is and meet me in the medbay."

With that the medic strode out of the room, looking for all the world that didn't just happen.

Fives stared after him for a moment, his embarrassment coming back full force, this would be all over the ship by the day cycle. Not that there was anything wrong with vod that enjoyed another vod's company, but he was known to chase after those of the other gender… his reputation was ruined!

The most unmanly squeak forced its way out of his throat as he curled inward in a vain attempt to protect his privates from the pain.

"Kix did warn you," Echo said, shoving him off and retrieving his datapad.

"Why…" Fives wheezed, staring at his brother with a look of utter betrayal.

"You were taking too long to move, like now," Echo grumbled, nudging him sharply in the side, "Up, dress, let's go."

"You're so cruel."

"But you love me anyway, now up!"

Fives ginned at the memory, at how prude his younger self had been, not that he'd realized it at the time. He'd been so young, and while not innocent to the horrors and pain of war, he wasn't horribly broken yet.

No, that had begun on Lola Sayu, where he had begun to crack, where he had lost his second half. He could still hear Echo telling him how bad of a plan it had been, pointing out all the flaws. But he hadn't listened. Telling Echo that it was their only chance, that by reaching the ship they could use its cannons to take out the turret.

He was supposed to be the one to go, but his brother had claimed that because he was the faster runner he would go first. Then he repeated Fives' words back to him –always echoing him– before running for the ramp. As always, he was so much faster than Fives would have been, clearing the ground like it wasn't there, as he ran Fives moved to cover him. Then Fives saw what Echo had warned him about, the turret turned on the ship. He tried to warn his brother, but Echo didn't hear him.

Then he was gone. And Fives was left with the guilt of killing his brother, the man he'd loved unconditionally. Later, he'd remember Echo coming up to him before they were frozen, seemingly uneasy. He made him promise that no matter what happens he'd live. When Fives questioned him, after promising that he'd do his best, Echo just gave him a dim smile as he shook his head. 'I've just got a bad feeling about this one', he'd said before turning toward the Generals. Fives never had a chance to confront him about it.

After Lola Sayu he distanced himself from the five-oh-first, it just caused him too much pain to be around the vode who held so many of his cherished memories. Echo would've been disappointed. As such he was given more solo missions and was assigned to any units that needed an extra hand. While the job got done he made a lot of enemies within other units.

He was just a bitter trooper.

Fives sat in the mess, eating the revolting cubes the Republic had the audacity to call food. They were stuck eating this osik while the Jedi and officers got to eat real food, all of which was served and eaten in front of them, like it was a taunt. He snorted, anger prickling under his skin, as he watched a group of navy officers eating their nerf steaks and muja fruit.

They were laughing and joking without a care in the world, completely oblivious to the somber attitude of the men around them. The one-forty-fifth had seen devastating losses on some backwater planet in an attempt to destroy a droid factory. It got to the point that he'd been called in to assist, it still took several more rotations before the factory was destroyed.

Still, the Republic counted it as a victory, citing the losses as acceptable. The losses were always counted as acceptable if they were clone. They were never memorialized, never remembered by anyone other than their brothers, kriff they weren't even given a proper burial! Dark anger still swirled deep within him over Lola Sayu, over the fact they couldn't even look for Echo's body or collect the other troopers' bodies, but they had time for a Jedi's funeral.

His rations suddenly tasted more bitter and inedible than usual, but he forced himself to swallow, waste not after all.

He blinked as he found another trooper settling across from him, blocking his view of the officers. He glanced at the unknown trooper's face, keeping his own passive as he felt the man's squad settle around him. as they did he tried to stifle his agitation, he wasn't here to make friends.

"We wanted to thank you for saving us out there," the man in front of him started, rubbing the back of his head, "We probably would've lost a lot more guys if you hadn't shown up."

"I was doing my job,"Fives grunted, hoping to put the other troopers off so he could finish his meal in peace.

"Well yeah, but still…" the man trailed off, put of balance by the dismissive reply.

"I don't want to hear your thanks!" Fives snarled, his hand slamming on the table causing everyone in the mess to turn toward them. "I only delayed the inevitable."

"What do you mean?" a voice shakily asked.

Fives turned to glare at the speaker, though his eyes softened slightly at the sight of the shiny. This had probably been the kid's first battle, he'd probably lost his first squad and had been taken in by older vode. Like what Kix, Jesse, and Hardcase had done with him and Echo. Fives briefly considered holding his tongue to shield the kid just a little longer, but it was as he said inevitable.

"Give it time, maybe a day, a week, a month, or even a year if you're lucky. But you'll die, everyone will die. By surviving this battle you're only living on borrowed time, time gained by the unlucky, by your brothers' blood, pain, and death."

The shiny was pale and shaking, and the men around him looked angry. One turned to the kid and started whispering reassurances to him. While the others looked ready to pummel Fives until he was choking on his own blood. He didn't care, it was better for the kid to know what was coming.

Suddenly, the was a body in front of him, and Fives took in the Captain's markings, rigid posture and crossed arms. Fives felt the man –whose name he couldn't remember– didn't pull off the pissed off Captain look nearly as well as Captain Rex. But he came to attention anyway, a bit slowly, and looked into the Captain's smoldering eyes.

"There a problem, trooper?" the man growled.

"No, sir," he responded.

"Then why are you terrifying my shinies?" the Captain snarled, getting into Fives face.

The ARC remained impassive, the ARC trainers were much more terrifying. Fek, Captain Rex had been a hell of a lot more terrifying when they had dyed his hair green right before a meeting with the Jedi council. Not that they had known that at the time.

"I know you ARCs have a twisted sense of humor, but that's cold even for you," the Captain continued.

"I wasn't joking, sir," Fives grunted, his hands fisting behind his back.

"Then why don't you go walk into the fray blindfolded," one of the shiny's squadmates snapped, glaring at him over the Captain's shoulder.

"Jet!" the Captain barked, swinging his head around to reprimand his trooper.

"Look at Oh-eight, sir!" Jet bit back, gesturing toward the still pale shiny, "He's terrified!"

Fives couldn't resist flinching at the shiny's designation, and he swore that he could feel Echo's disapproving stare. He always did have a way of making an ass of himself. But he wouldn't apologize for saying the truth, a truth that everyone else seemed all too happy to ignore.

"Breath, Oh-eight," the Captain soothed, moving toward his man, "You're not going to die, not if we can help it. The ARC is just being a cynical ass."

Fives snorted, and turned away, not wanting to look at the kid who had his vod's last two digits. It hurt too much, it always hurt too much. So, he went back to his meal, noticing the naval officers didn't seem to take notice to the commotion a few tables away. Like they didn't even exist.

One of the troopers from the squad that had sat with him was still there, glaring, and looking ready to leave. Fives looked at him with annoyance, which the trooper returned tenfold.

"What do you want, trooper?" Fives grumbled, exhaustion seeping into him, leaching away his desire to fight.

"You didn't answer Jet's question," he growled quietly, as if not to draw attention.

"Why do you care? Maybe I just don't have the desire to take a long walk out a short airlock."

"Because nobody talks like that without reason, and men that do generally aren't around that long," the trooper's tone grew even softer, and Fives finally noticed the medic's symbol on his shoulder bell.

"It's simple," Fives sighed, knowing you couldn't dissuade a medic, "I made a promise."

"To who?"

"A dead man, someone who put his trust in me only to lose his life because of it," he spat bitterly, his eyes not seeing the medic's own narrow with suspicion.

"You cared about him?"

"Of course, I cared about him, he was my heart brother, my other half! I loved him!" Fives snarled, his heart being ripped open again as the grief roared within him, more powerful than he'd felt it in a long time.

Feeling the crushing grief overwhelming him, he stood and moved to stalk out of the mess, not wanting the others to see his pain. He pushed past angry scowls and biting remarks, like they weren't even there, only pausing by the shiny.

He ignored the Captain and the kid's squad's infuriated looks, as he looked into the kid's terrified eyes. Eyes so achingly familiar to Echo's after he'd get chewed out for some mess up, which was always followed by orders to read the regs. Everyone always thought Echo read the manuals for fun, but that wasn't the case, it was a habit instilled in him from years of it being a punishment.

"Oh-eight, right?" he asked, voice soft.

"Y- yes, sir!" the kid snapped to attention, quivering in his boots.

"I knew an Oh-eight once, he was a good man, smart, kind, brave, everything I'm not," he said with a bitter smile, "He's dead now, but he's remembered by more than just his number –a number which many men share– he had a name. Which meant his life meant something, that he wasn't just a dispensable clone."

Fives looked at the kid seeing his confusion, but there was something in there a spark of something that was still too small to be named.

"You take a name, Oh-eight," he finally said, starting to walk away, "Don't die a number."

He was almost out of the mess, when the kid worked up the courage to speak.

"What was his name?" Fives turned, raising a brow, and the kid continued, "The man you knew, what was his name?"

"Echo," Fives was very proud that his voice didn't crack at his vod's name.

"Echo," the kid said, as if testing the unfamiliar name out, before nodding to himself, "Then, with your permission, I'll take his name and prove to you that I can be just as great of a man that he obviously was if he gained your respect."

"You do that, kid, and there'll be nothing to prove."

Fives left the mess, ignoring the confused looks and congratulations to the newly named Echo. He was though, completely oblivious to the looks of deep understanding and sadness, as the Captain and the medic watched the proceedings. He wasn't aware that the name Echo would be added to several lists of remembrance that night.

He was only trying to stifle his grief by wondering if his brother would be pissed at him for giving his name away.

Fives smiled bitterly, wondering what ever became of the shiny Echo, he hoped the kid was still alive. That day had been one of his better ones, meaning it didn't end with a trip to the medbay, and he didn't think any of the troopers hated his guts, like some others.

And more than that, it had been the turning point for him. The point where he started to care about his brothers again.

What solidified this was what had bent him to nearly the breaking point. Where the cracks grew until they couldn't be hidden. The battle which broke Captain Rex, and scarred the five-oh-first. The planet's name was like a curse to them and the two-twelfth. And the rest of the army was left wondering what had actually happened.

The official reports revealed nothing, having been the briefest reports in history:

'Siege of Umbara successful.

Heavy casualties, including Jedi General Krell.'

And with everyone who'd been there sworn to secrecy, rumors ran rampant. Leaving the survivors to be grilled until lashing out, resulting in many fights and latrine duty. Which only made the rumors worse, the only thing that changed was that they stopped reaching the ears of command.

Umbara, where clone turned on clone, where clone turned on Jedi. Where they had gone against everything in their training and beliefs. And where they were left alone to pick up the pieces.

So many good men had died, men he had just started getting reacquainted with, or having just met for the first time. Hardcase, Oz, Ringo, Taz, Popper, Kirk, Bones, and so many others. And Dogma was lost as well, sent back to Kamino for a death sentence.

The five-oh-first's losses were crippling, while not nearly as bad as Teth number wise, it was crippling in another way. A way that took them ages to recover from, that some never did. It broke their spirits. It showed them that there was no point to this blasted war, and that they really were considered nothing to those that led them.

The only good thing that came from Umbara was that it forged a bond between the survivors that couldn't be broken.

Fives groggily blinked the sleep out of his eyes as he rolled over, searching the dimly lit barracks. The sound of someone's shaky breathing had woken him from his own haunted sleep.

He was in the main barracks, having forgone his own private barracks that being an ARC had granted him. It was too quiet without Echo's constant grumblings. Besides, after that kriffin' mission, there were plenty of open bunks.

He quickly located the trooper, his back was to him and his shoulders were shaking. Fives glanced around the barracks, looking for Kix or Coric who be better at comforting the younger trooper than him, only to remember that they'd be pulling constant shifts in the medbay. Everyone else seemed to be holding their breath –all too still to be asleep– waiting to see who would move first.

Fives sighed and rolled off his bunk, his feet landed silently on the ice cold durasteel, even so he saw vode peeking over at him. He ignored them, striding purposefully toward the trooper. He scuffed his foot to warn the kid, who froze at the sound.

"Hey, kid," Fives said softly, sitting on the edge of the trooper's bunk.

Slowly, the other man turned to look at him, his eyes wide with fear and shame. After meeting Fives' eyes briefly, he ducked his head. Fives frowned, and slowly laid his hand on the kid's shoulder, drawing the trooper's eyes up once more.

"It's Tup, right?" he asked, praying he hadn't messed up the man's name.

"Yes, sir," the kid's voice shook nearly as badly as his shoulders were, despite the visible effort he took to control himself.

"I'm not a sir right now, Tup," Fives said, emphasizing the trooper's name, because he has a name and Fives would be damned if he let the kid forget it, "Just call me Fives, I'm just another vod."

Tup looked at him for a long moment, eyes narrowed in distrust –what did it say about them if they were so badly damaged that they couldn't even trust their own brothers. But then Tup nodded slightly, barely noticeable if you weren't looking for it.

"Now, Tup, you want to tell me what's wrong?"

The trooper became guarded again, before visibly forcing himself to relax, tremors still rattling his body.

"Nothing, si– Fives," he whispered.

"That didn't sound like nothing, Tup," Fives said gently, his hand squeezing the man's shoulder lightly, "You know, bad dreams are nothing to be ashamed about."

"We're programmed against nightmares," the kid said, voice devoid of emotion, "Nightmare are a sign of deficiency."

"No," Fives spoke resolutely, speaking to more than just the trooper in front of him, "Nightmares are a sign of being human. We aren't emotionless machines, Tup, despite what the Kaminoans believe."

"But, sir–" Tup started, but Fives cut him off with an angry shake of his head.

"This was your first mission, wasn't it?" Fives asked, continuing at Tup's tentative nod, "And you lost vode?"

Tup bit his lip, turning to face the wall once more. Fives was about to continue when Tup spoke almost too soft to hear.

"Dogma."

Fives sighed, easily picturing the young trooper who followed the rules to the point that it blinded him to his leader's faults. But, that didn't make him a bad man, kriff Echo cited the reg manuals in his sleep and that didn't make him bad. A stick in the mud on occasion, but not bad. Dogma just took Echo to the extreme, minus the manuals.

And he was sent to Kamino for doing what they couldn't. Fives' hand fisted in frustration, another brother dead because he was too weak, too slow, to doing anything to stop it.

Tup saw his fist and scowled, smacking his hand away from his shoulder.

"I know what you're thinking," he growled, refusing to look at Fives, "He got what was coming to him for defending that monster."

"That's not what I was thinking, I doubt that's what any man on this ship was thinking, Dogma was a good man. Brave, and unfortunately loyal to a fault. But that isn't a bad thing, Tup, loyalty isn't a trooper's down fall. Dogma's loyalty was used against him, just as the Captain's was, just as all of ours was. And if anyone tells you differently… well you can always knock their teeth out."

Tup was looking at him again, eyes glistening with unshed tears, the pain of losing his brother still fresh.

"And we'll back you up, like always," a voice said behind Fives.

He turned to see three vode moving toward the bunk, all young but not quite shiny anymore. Fives was certain this was the remains of Tup's squad, one had a heavy limp, but otherwise they had yet to individualize themselves like Tup and Dogma had. Smiling softly, Fives stood and made room for the three men.

Glancing around he saw several men watching from the shadows of their bunks, slowly a grin started forming. A few men who've been with the five-oh-first for a time and had known Fives from before, groaned at the sight of his smirk. This only further prompted him, and he searched for the one man who he could trust.

Jesse was toward the back of the barracks, still asleep or feigning it. His arm was across his eyes, and there was a deep frown on his face. Gently shaking him, Fives was rewarded with a single blood shot eye glaring in his direction.

"What do you want, Fives?" the older trooper growled.

The unfriendliness a stark reminder of what had occurred on that thrice-damned mission. Gone was the level-headed, friendly trooper. In his place lay a broken bitter man, who had looked down the barrel of his heart brother's rifle as said brother was about to shoot him. A man who left his friend and squadmate behind to accomplish a mission that ended with Hardcase's name being dragged through the mud.

"I need a favor, Jesse," Fives said quietly, kneeling beside Jesse's bunk.

"Last time I did you a favor I was nearly killed for treason," the man snarled, raw pain still reflected in his eyes.

"I know, Jesse, and I'm sorry for everything that my idiocy put you through," Fives said sincerely, eyes darkening as he muttered, "You'd think I would have learned after Echo…"

Jesse sat up, placing his hand on Fives' shoulder, drawing the ARC's eyes up.

"I don't know what happened to Echo, I don't know how your spec op mission played out. But, I do know that you'd never willing put Echo's life on the line if you didn't think whatever harebrained plan you thought up would work.

"I know the same is true for what happened down on that force-forsaken planet. I'm just angry and hurting, Fives, I don't blame you. None of us are to blame but that bastard."

Fives gave Jesse a small strained smile, thankful for the older man's words.

"That's why I need your help, Kix and Coric are still with the wounded, but our brothers are hurting now."

"You're not suggesting…? Kriff, we haven't done that in ages, not since the Battle of Kamino at least."

"I think the shinies need it, I think we all need it."

Jesse considered him for a long moment, before a trace of what could be a smile crossed his face. Standing he grabbed his blanket and pillow, giving Fives a good whack on the head as he did, and moved toward the center of the room.

Fives chuckled before standing and following him, grabbing his own blanket and pillow. The older men in the room looked surprised, but slowly small smiles and relieved grins started to show as the started gathering up their stuff. The younger men, on the other hand, looked on in confusion.

"Come on men gather round," Jesse said, settling on the ground comfortably, rolling his eyes as Fives settled next to him, making sure to accidently hit him with his pillow.

The other men followed suit, the shinies following the older men's example, until they formed a somewhat bunched and lopsided circle. Jesse waited until everyone got comfortable, or as comfortable as one could get jammed into such a tight space with so many others.

"Alright then, I'll start," Jesse sighed leaning his head back as his eyes drifted shut, "Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum Twist, Cinder, Hardcase. I remember all the trouble we used to get into and how it'd drive Kix crazy. You guys remember when we got our tattoos?

We got Kix dead drunk and shaved his head as a prank, but then Twist suggested that we get tats and go all out. Kix certainly wasn't the only one drunk, and full of stupid ideas. I'll never forget our reactions the next morning, or the Captain's for that matter. I'll miss you Hardcase, Twist, Cinder, hopefully we won't see you too soon."

"Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum Twist, Cinder, Hardcase," Jesse repeated, his voice echoed by all the troopers, including the shinies who stumbled over the unfamiliar words.

Fives was next in line, and he took a deep breath before looking over his brothers.

"Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum Hevy, Cutup, Droidbait… Echo. We were always fighting remember? We never could get along, could we? We'd pull it together when it really mattered, though, despite our flaws. Hevy, Droidbait, Cutup, your sacrifices on Rishi weren't in vain, I swear. Echo… Echo I'm still keeping my promise, despite how challenging it can be."

"Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum Hevy, Cutup, Droidbait, Echo," Fives' voice was also echoed, his eyes were focused on his blanket that he'd twisted between his fingers, not noticing Jesse's curious glance.

The words of remembrance continued around the room, sometimes by one man, others by the remains of a squad morning their lost members, and some saying multiple for the men whose vode have since passed on. It was finally Tup's turn, and he cleared his throat awkwardly, his brothers supporting him.

"Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum," he said slowly, ensuring he was saying the words properly, "Dogma, you were our brother despite your faulted loyalty. You made a mistake, a mistake any one of us could have made, and I won't fault you for it. You came through for us when it really mattered, and you didn't deserve what you got. Haze, Topper, Tripwire, and I will remember you always."

"Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum Dogma," as the words resonated around the room, Tup sought out Fives eyes, giving him a tight nod, one which the ARC returned.

This continued well into the night cycle, and by the time the medics stumbled back, longing for their beds they were met with a giant trooper pile in the center of the room. Their bunks lay unreachable on the other side, with weary sighs and knowing looks, the two medics settled into the pile. Stealing themselves blanket and pillows from the vode closest.

It wasn't long after they slunk in that the door opened again, emitting a blond-haired man with deep bags under his eyes, carrying his own pillow and blanket. He stopped short in the door, not having expected the trooper pile up. But a tired smile soon graced his face, and he shook his head at his men's actions. Then he joined the fringes of the group on the floor, being reassured as his brothers reached out and pulled him closer. Come morning he'd find himself in the middle of the pile.

Fives smiled, remembering that night, and those following. The comfort they gained from each other, the reassurance. They always said that the strongest of bonds were forged in fire, and Umbara could only be compared to an inferno.

Fives moved down the hall, thinking of the Captain's reaction after that first night, finding himself at the bottom of the pile. Several troopers clung to any part of him that they could, to reassure themselves that the Captain was there. Fives himself, had woken with his back pressed against the Captain's, trusting him like always to have his back.

The smile slipped off his face as he thought of the last time he saw the Captain, and unconsciously ran his hand through his hair. He jolted as his fingers met soft hair that shouldn't have been there, not after that disaster.

The disaster that had finally shattered him, Ringo Vinda, and all the osik that followed. He clenched his jaw painfully, because he had once again failed. He always failed when it really mattered. His hands were once again stained in the blood of his brothers, it never ended.

First was the Dominos; Droidbait who was killed without firing a single shot, while Fives had stood their gaping. Then Cutup, swallowed up by a Rishi eel, while he was too scared to even grab his blaster and try to do something. Hevy… Hevy made his own choice, but he shouldn't have had to.

Then was Ninety-nine, the man who had cared for them and encouraged them during their training days. If he had been faster at taking out those droids, better at covering his brothers. Ninety-nine shouldn't have died that day. And he shouldn't have been rewarded for said failure.

It's Echo's blood that he can still see staining his hands whenever he looks too closely. He should've listened to him, Echo always excelled in strategies, but he was too bull headed and was certain that his plan would work. He was wrong, so very wrong, why did he let Echo go first?

So many followed Echo, always adding to the ghosts that haunt him. Hardcase, whose sacrifice reminded him so much of Hevy's, but it was still Fives' plan. Why does he always let others get hurt finishing his plans? Then Dogma doing what he and the Captain were too weak to do.

And now Tup's blood added the last layer on his hands. Fives was so certain that he'd saved the younger trooper, he tried so hard. But the force had other plans, and Tup died in front of him, likely due to Fives' intervention. It seems like every time Fives would start to open his heart again and let a vod get close they'd be snatched away. And he was so tired of it.

Maybe he'd have to break his promise to Echo, he was just so tired and lonely. His only regret would be the pain it'd cause the Captain, and maybe Kix and Jesse, though they had grown distant since Umbara. Too much bad blood.

But then again, he supposed that he never did have much of a choice in the matter, the only thing he could choose was it being on his own terms.

Fives curled in on himself, covering his head as he hid behind the stacks of crates. It was wrong, all wrong. This never should have happened, why did it happen? Where did he go wrong?

Good soldiers follow orders.

His fingers dug into his head as the phrase repeated itself, again and again and again. It was so loud. Why was it so loud? What's wrong following orders? He's a loyal soldier, a good soldier, one of the best according to General Skywalker. There's nothing wrong with loyalty.

But loyalty can be used against you, remember Dogma and Umbara? Good soldiers think for themselves, that's what made him a good ARC, he didn't blindly follow orders. But, sometimes you have to do what is required of you, even if you don't fully understand it. We're not a bunch of unthinking droids!

Fives winced as the shouting grew louder and louder, why couldn't they just be quiet? Why was it so hard to think? Where is Echo? He needed Echo right now, Echo always made things better.

Echo's dead you, di'kut, or have you forgotten? You killed him!

Fives flinched at the reminder, curling further into himself. What was taking the Captain so long? Maybe he could get it to stop. Fives didn't care how at this point he just wanted relief, his head hurt so much. Was this what Tup felt like when I removed the chip from him?

Good soldiers follow orders.

No, no, it didn't hurt before, he could think clearly on Kamino. It was on the ship that his head started hurting after… after that Kaminoan gave him something. Did she drug him? It would make sense, he stuck his nose into places he shouldn't have. Did that mean she was involved in the plot like the Chancellor?

The Chancellor! That bastard's been using us! Kriff, he might even be involved with the damn seppies! But why? What would he have to gain from killing the Jedi? Fives frowned he'd have to ask the General, they were close, right? Maybe he could figure something out. But… why would he trust a clone over the leader of the Republic?

Good soldiers follow orders.

He startled as he heard the warehouse door open, and saw two figures slowly step in. Where they afraid of him?

Good soldiers follow orders.

"Fives? Fives, we're here," someone called, but the noise in his head made it too hard to determine who, "Come on out."

"We just want to talk to you," that was General Skywalker and relief filled him, though it was underlined with tendrils of fear.

"General Skywalker, thank you," Fives said, staring at his blood-stained hands, "Thank you for trusting me."

Fives sighed, and shifted to allow for a better view, as he did he asked if they came alone.

"We have," the General's voice was hard, but truthful, but Fives froze at the sight of the ignited light saber.

Good soldiers follow orders.

The memories of Umbara and Krell pressing his saber to his throat blinded him momentarily. No, General Skywalker isn't like that, he reassured himself.

"Put down your weapons then," he asked, slowly moving to peer around a different crate.

"I don't think so, Fives."

Fives felt a stab of betrayal, did they really think he'd hurt them?

"Please, sir!" he begged, "Please, I'm unarmed."

Gratitude poured off him as her heard the telling hiss of a lightsaber being deactivated, followed by the Captain putting his pistols down. What followed was another of his half-baked plans, a plan that spelled his own doom.

He knew he'd piss them off with the ray shield, but, he couldn't risk them not listening to him. Not listening to his warning. He knew how he sounded, but it was just so hard to think clearly, he was doing his best not to sound like a raving lunatic.

But as his explanation wore on, it was becoming increasingly clear that General Skywalker didn't believe him. The Captain, the Captain seemed disturbed, but there was a chance with him. The General was too loyal to the Chancellor, to a fault, just like Dogma was. And Fives knew it would be his downfall someday.

Good soldiers follow orders.

Fives knew something was wrong when the General's eyes flicked to something behind him, as he tried to make them understand. He could hear the pounding armored boots hitting the floor, he hesitated briefly looking at the two men he thought he could trust completely, feeling utter betrayal.

Then he spun around to face the Guard charging toward him, Commander Fox in the lead. Another of the Chancellor's puppets.

Good soldiers follow orders.

"Stand down, soldier! Stand down!" Fox was shouting, blaster aimed on his chest, "Get on your knees!"

No, he couldn't, being taken in would be a death sentence now. The Chancellor and the Kaminoans would never let him live, he knows too much. Reconditioning wasn't even an option now, he was too recognizable for a clone. They'd make him disappear.

"No!" he shouted, taking a sliding step back toward the ray shield, toward the people he once thought of as safety, "No, no! Stay back!"

He refused to go back to Kamino, to be put down like some unwanted mutt! He may be a clone, a being created to follow orders, a being that didn't need to make any choices on his own. But he was a living being, a human being, and there was at least one choice he could make. He only wished it didn't involve breaking his promise to Echo.

Good soldiers follow orders.

He lunged for Rex's pistols, grabbing one.

"Don't do it!" Fox was shouting, "Don't do it, soldier!"

"Get away from me!"

Fives leveled the blaster at Fox, staring into the man's visor, knowing how this would play out. The thought of actually pulling the trigger never crossed his mind, there was too much blood on his hands already, but they didn't know that. He heard Rex shouting at him, and that was almost enough to get him to drop the pistol, he never did like disobeying the Captain. Maybe, he didn't know Fox was following them.

Good soldiers follow orders.

This wasn't the first time he'd been shot, he'd honestly lost count by now, but it was different. This time the pain only lasted an instant, before he started going numb, and the pistol fell from his cold fingers clattering to the ground. He followed, his plain white armor making a jarring sound.

Figures, after all he pushed for individuality among his brothers, he'd die in the white anonymity of unmarked armor. Whatever happened to his armor? He hoped it wasn't melted down, he liked his armor.

There was shouting above him, not that he particularly cared, it was hard to breath. He wondered if there was something after death, he sure hoped so. Suddenly, Rex's face was in his, and Fives felt guilt for being the cause of the grief and pain that filled the Captain's face.

"Rex," Fives gasped, reaching toward his older brother, frowning at how uncoordinated his movements were.

"Fives," Rex said softly, helping support him.

"This is bigger than any of us," he whispered, needed to ensure his and Tup's sacrifices weren't in vain, that his brothers would be safe, "Than anything I could have imagined."

It was getting harder to think, to speak, to breath, but he needed to tell Rex.

"I… I never meant to…" Fives' voice failed him, and he tried to pull the Captain closer, "Please believe me, they're real…"

He was gasping for air now, and he couldn't support his own weight anymore, causing him to fall away from the Captain.

"I only wanted to do my duty," he finished, the world around him growing dark, he felt Rex shaking him, calling him back.

Good soldiers follow orders!

"The mission, the nightmares, they're finally over…"

"Five? No! Fives!"

Good Soldiers Follow Orders!

Rex was still yelling at him, but Fives couldn't bring himself to react, he was so tired. He hoped there was something after death, he wanted to see Echo again.

That was the last thing he remembered, his death. Fives blinked in surprise, bringing his hand away from his hair, so this was the afterlife. He looked around the white halls with a new eye, they still reminded him too much of Kamino.

He stood in the middle of the hall considering the doors around him, all had some type of symbol on them, but something told him not to open any of them. they just didn't feel right to him.

He sighed and glanced down at his clothes, he was pleasantly surprised by the lack of hole in his chest, but frowned at the sight of what he was wearing. Plain white, a soft fabric shirt and pants. It just reminded him of the anonymous armor he died in, it just wasn't him.

"Would it hurt for there to be a little color?" he griped under his breath, pulling on the shirt.

He jumped, releasing his hold on the fabric when it changed before his eye, the seams being trimmed a five-oh-first blue. It was a bit better, he thought, though he would have preferred his armor. Sure enough, he had to scramble to catch his helmet before it clattered to the floor.

Holding his bucket protectively, he looked down at the achingly familiar armor, at the deep blue strokes that marked it as being his. And at the memories those lines held, the bickering that he and Echo got into over how to paint their armor. It had been a good day. It meant they finally belonged somewhere.

Grinning with real happiness for the first time in over a year, he slipped his helmet on, feeling at home as the HUD lit up. The displays were empty, but that was ok, he wasn't expecting any readings from wherever he was.

He strode down the seemingly endless hall, studying the symbols on the doors, knowing that each of them held some sort of meaning. But none that he passed seemed to mean anything to him, so he kept walking.

Then he saw the door, and he knew it was the right door before he even saw its symbol. After he saw the symbol, there was no question about it. The domino tile had five pips in it, one for each member of their squad. This was his door, he knew it.

But knowing and doing were two very different things. He had a good idea of what was waiting for him on the other side of that door, and he wasn't so sure he was ready to face them. His hands were stained with their blood, he lived while they died. He worried his lip, hand hovering above the keypad.

He straightened, he deserved whatever he got, there was no point in dragging this out. He pressed the button to open the door, watching the door slide open. It took both forever and a hairsbreadth.

Three pairs of identical brown eyes stared at him incredulously, their owners were seated around a low table involved in a game of sabacc. All were wearing soft red clothes, similar to their down time uniforms. The watched him with varying degrees of confusion as he stepped into the room, the door sliding shut behind him.

"Can we help you?" one of the men asked, his voice with a slight accent.

"Don't you know it rude to go into other people's rooms?" one of the other men grumbled.

Fives could do nothing but stare at them, because they were right there, his vode, his squad.

"Hey, you deaf or something, ARC?" Hevy snapped, crossing his arms.

"Guys, stop it!" the last man scolded, "Can't you tell he's new?"

Droidbait stood and approached him, a friendly smile on his face and his hands out in a placating manner. Fives' voice was caught in his throat, kriff he didn't think it would be this hard. He could feel the tears forming in his eye as he looked at some of the men he'd failed.

"I'm Droidbait, the ass is Hevy, and that's Cutup," Droidbait introduced, and Fives couldn't suppress a watery grin, Cutup waved in greeting, as Hevy berated his brother for calling him an ass.

"And you are?" Droidbait asked, ignoring Hevy, "We can help you find your brothers, if you want."

Fives was shaking his head, no longer trying to hold in his tears. Droidbait looked confused as his offer was refused, but Fives didn't give him time to come up with something else to say. He pulled off his helmet to look at his brothers with his own eyes.

Droidbait's eyes widened, sliding from his tattoo to his face, then he gave a cry of joy. Lunging at the ARC and doing his best to wrap his arms around the cumbersome armor, the others stood in confusion until they also caught sight of Fives' face.

"Fives!" Cutup cried, joining Droidbait and tackling Fives.

Hevy stood back, his arms crossed, and watched the reunion with a bitter sweet smile. Fives met his eyes, and felt shame burn within him. He should've known not all of his brothers would be happy to see him.

"What's with the getup?" Hevy asked, finally moving forward to tug on Fives' pauldron.

Droidbait and Cutup laughed, also poking and prodding at his armor.

"Hevy's right, who in their right mind made you an ARC?" Cutup joked, circling him, "One from the great five-oh-first as well."

"That's be Commander Cody and Captain Rex," Fives responded, smiling like a fool, Hevy didn't seem too mad at him.

"You sure they were in their right minds at the time?" Hevy pressed.

"Well, Echo always said that he Captain only sent us away in hopes that the ARC trainers would kill us," Fives laughed, "And the Captain never denied it."

"Were you causing trouble for your command, Fives?" Droidbait snickered.

"Me?" Fives asked, "Never, I was the most well behaved trooper in the GAR."

"I'd sooner believe Hevy was the most docile," Droidbait grumbled, ducking out of Hevy's reach.

They all laughed, and Fives decided to ditch the armor, and his clothes mimicked what his vode were wearing. He was so happy to see them again, they didn't deserve to die so soon.

"What is this place?" he finally asked.

"Uh, well," Cutup started, "I guess you could call it the force or something, no one really knows, all we know is that each squad or group of close brothers get their own private room and that we can change anything with just a thought."

"There is a common room and a mess where you can meet up with other troopers you might know," Droidbait continued.

"A mess?" Fives questioned, "I'd hoped to never have to choke down a ration cube again."

"Well you really don't need to eat, and the mess doesn't serve rations, we get meals that other troopers came across before they died," Cutup explained, "I wasn't even aware food could taste so good."

"Huh."

"Yeah, we know, it's weird."

"So, this is our room?" Fives asked, looking around the standard rec room from Rishi.

"Yeah, yeah, not very imaginative, but it was the closest thing we called home," Hevy said, noticing Fives' straying eyes, "We each have our own personal room, if we want to sleep or something. Those are personalized to our own tastes, but they're aren't used much."

Fives' eyes followed Hevy's gesture toward three doors along one wall, where a fourth was forming. He frowned slightly, just four? But there were still two doors on the far wall, he tried to relax and focus on his brothers.

"And those doors?" he asked voice strained.

"The right leads to the common room, and the left leads to the mess," Cutup supplied, giving Fives a concerned look, "You alright, Fives?"

No, he wasn't alright, where was Echo? He looked each of his vode in the eye, searching for answers, answers that weren't there.

"What about Echo?" his voice was strained, "Where's Echo?"

His squadmates looked at each other with confusion, giving him looks of incomprehension.

"What do you mean, Fives?" Droidbait slowly asked, "Echo's still alive, as far as we're aware."

Fives whole world was crumbling beneath him, because Echo couldn't be alive, he watched him die. If he survived then… Fives couldn't even consider the possibility, Echo had to be dead.

"Echo died over a year ago," Fives said, his voice quivering, "I watched him die."

The others looked uneasy, their eyes filled with confusion and worry, judging by Fives tone wherever Echo 'died' it wasn't good. And it'd probably be worse for him to have survived. Droidbait was frowning, but looked toward the common room door in contemplation.

"He might have ended up in a different room, and we just never saw him," he said, moving toward the door, Cutup nodded as Hevy frowned.

"Then why wouldn't he have come looking for us?"

"You know how many dead troopers are here, he might have but was never in the right place," Droidbait snapped, "Come on, best place to ask around is the common room."

Fives followed slowly, his mind reeling from the chance that Echo survived that explosion. He'd never forgive himself.

They crossed the threshold of the door, and he found himself in a huge room. It was filled with clones of various units, some in armor, others in soft clothes like theirs. There were chairs all over, all looking like something that belonged to a senator, not a bunch of dead clones. There were game courts on the other side of the room, barely visible from where he stood. But, he could hear several shouts and cheers from that end.

"It's overwhelming, isn't it?" Cutup said, nudging his side.

"Yeah, just a bit," Fives responded, dragging his eyes away from the impossibly large room.

"Come on, this way," Droidbait called, moving between the sea of brothers.

"Where are we going?" Fives asked, curious about how they were supposed to find Echo this way.

"Echo wouldn't have just joined a random squad's barracks, right?" Hevy said, falling in step with Fives, "So, the five-oh-first guys tend to hang out over here, maybe they know what happened to Echo."

Fives looked ahead and sure enough there was a large group of men ahead of them. Most were wearing armor, familiar armor. And despite the situation Fives found himself smiling as they approach the group.

He could see a lot of guys he'd missed; Oz and Ringo were involved in an arm wrestling match. Denal was trying to break up an argument between Redeye and Mixer, while Koho was standing back and watching his friend's futile efforts. Charger was sitting in one of the plush chairs, reading some magazine, with his feet propped up.

It hurt to see them all, remembering how they died. Seeing a lot of men that died while he was on other missions. Seeing the amount of shinies in the group, men that never had a chance. He remembered the saying, 'shinies die first', but they were all shinies at one point, he was a shiny once. What did he do differently that allowed him to live for so long? Even when the rest of his squad, and men much better than him, didn't.

Droidbait reached them first and cleared his throat uncomfortably. The men closest to them turned, looking at them in confusion, Fives didn't recognize them.

"Can we help you, Rookie?" one of them asked.

Droidbait opened his mouth to say something, but whatever it was got drowned out and Droidbait was nearly thrown off his feet, by a whirlwind of noise and color.

"Fives!" the man shouted, tackling the ARC to the ground.

The man had an unfair advantage due to wearing his armor, but Fives still put up quite a fight. He tried to twist out of his grip, and succeeded on knocking the wind out of his attacker with a well-placed elbow. But the man always knew how to use his weight to his advantage, and Fives wasn't resisting all that hard. He coughed and sputtered as the full weight of the trooper dropped onto his chest and stomach, armor and all.

The rest of Domino stood off to the side wondering if they should help their brother, after all the stranger did seem mildly insane. Honestly, who throws themselves at an ARC and expects to come out on top? They were greatly disappointed when Fives stopped fighting back.

"Hardcase…" Fives wheezed, "Can't… breathe."

"Well you don't deserve to breathe you bastard!" Hardcase snapped, though he did stand and drag Fives to his feet, "I give up my life so you and Jesse could live, and what do you do? You end up on the wrong side of a fekkin' firing squad!"

Hardcase shook Fives as he ranted, causing the ARC's head to snap back and forth uncomfortably. He was turning green by the end of the older trooper's tirade. All the while, his squaddies were watching, frowns deepening as they learned of some of the troubles their brother had faced. Was he executed?

"How do you think I would've felt? How do you think Kix would've felt? Or the Captain? The Commander? Or even the General?"

Hardcase wrapped him in a rib crushing hug.

"I was worried about you, di'kut, not just Jesse and Kix," Hardcase scolded, "You and Echo were part of our squad too."

Fives was stunned to see Hardcase so serious, he knew he could be but it was so rare. Fives felt guilt swell inside of him, and returned the heavy gunner's hug. Finally, Hardcase released him, though kept a hold of his shoulders.

"You better not have gotten yourself killed doing something completely idiotic."

"Well…" Fives hesitated, knowing full well he had been completely idiotic, thankfully some of the other troopers saved him.

"You know him, Hardcase?" the original trooper who spoke to Droidbait asked.

"Huh? Oh, right you never met Fives did you, Ridge?" Hardcase laughed, turning toward the men of the five-oh-first, "This is Fives, completely insane, semi-suicidal, and a man you can trust to have your back through anything. Also, one of our best ARC's."

"You forgot bat-shit crazy," a trooper called from the back.

"Bane of the Captain's existence!"

"Only man able to keep up with General Skywalker!"

"Well his plans are definitely insane enough," a familiar voice muttered, but Fives was distracted by Ridge before he could turn and look.

"Well, sounds like you fit right in, name's Ridge," the man offered his hand, and Fives grabbed his arm in a traditional mando handshake.

"Oh! Fives," Hardcase said, drawing his attention back, there were two troopers standing next to him now, "I want you to meet Twist and Cinder, they were part of my original squad."

The trooper on the left, Cinder, had a goatee like Fives, but was bald with flame-like tattoos above one ear. The other trooper still had his hair, but it was cut in a manner similar to Kix's. There were no visible tattoos, but Fives remembered Jesse's story and knew there had to be something brilliant hidden under his armor.

"I've heard a lot about you," Fives said, shaking both men's arms.

"And we of you, did you really dye the Captain's hair green?" Twist asked with a disbelieving grin.

"That wasn't me!" Fives sputtered, glaring at Hardcase, "Why do you keep trying to blame me for that?"

"You provided the dye, and you were the one who stole his mirrors."

"Well… yes, but I didn't know he had a meeting with the Jedi council that day!"

"Fives give it up," the familiar voice said again, "Every time there's a prank and you're with the five-oh-first it's automatically your fault."

Fives turned and gave the long-haired man a mock glare, before catching him in a brief hug.

"It damn good to see you, Tup," he said, before releasing the younger man and giving him a hard wallop on the shoulder, "That's for not backing me up with this idiot."

Fives' smile faded as he looked at the man, who was rubbing his now sore shoulder, seeing his lifeless body under Kamino's harsh light. He tried so hard to save him.

"I'm sorry, Tup," he said softly, gaining a look of confusion from the man, "I tried to save you."

"Don't," Tup said, waving away Fives' apology, "There was nothing you could have done, but thank you for trying. Now back on the topic at hand, it's always your fault."

"Well, I don't know about that," another trooper said, coming up behind Tup, "I'm fairly certain a lot of those pranks were pulled by the Jedi or didn't actually happen."

"Dogma," Fives said, giving the man a nod and friendly smile which was hesitantly returned.

"What do you mean?" Twist asked, as the other troopers leaned forward, always eager for a new story.

"Well there's one story that can't be true, not that anyone knows where it came from or who actually did it, on the off chance that it did happen."

"Oh!" Tup exclaimed, nodding vigorously, "I know what story you're talking about."

"Well come on, spit it out!" Ridge snapped.

"Well, some of the older troops, especially the ship's crew, would talk about how an ARC and a medic got stuck to the hanger bay ceiling. They couldn't tell us who, or how, only that they struck fear into everyone they passed when they got down."

The troops laughed at the thought, not noticing how Fives and Hardcase grew still and pale. It wasn't until Droidbait, who still stood awkwardly with the rest of Domino noticed his brother's pale complexion.

"Uh, Fives, you alright?"

As he asked the others quieted down and turned to the two unusually still troopers.

"Hardcase?" Cinder asked, waving his hand in front of the heavy gunner's face.

"It never happened," Fives whispered, looking stricken.

"What?" Tup asked.

"That never happened!" Fives whispered, glancing around fearfully, "Do you understand? It never happened!"

Hardcase was nodding along, looking dead serious.

"Kriff," Dogma gasped, "It was you two, that story did happen."

"Yes, Dogma!" Fives said, briskly, "Now forget about it!"

"It was the biggest mistake of our lives," Hardcase whispered.

"Who?" Tup asked, "Who'd you stick up there?"

"Kix and Echo," Hardcase shuttered, "I've never seen such terrifying beings."

"Fives, you stuck Echo to a ceiling?" Cutup laughed, Hevy was already wheezing, while Droidbait looked on disapprovingly.

"Who's your friends, Fives?" Tup asked.

"These guys are my original squad, Hevy, Cutup, and Droidbait," Fives introduced, enjoying how they squirmed under the attention of who they perceived to be legends.

He laughed as the five-oh-first swarmed the three men, those that knew Fives and Echo, meeting those that they grew up with, others meeting the fresh meat. Only Hardcase was frowning, as were a few other guys that kept shooting Fives confused looks. things quickly settled down and Fives' squaddies came out of it in one piece, if not a little worse for wear.

They stared wide eyed at Fives, silently asking why he did that to them. But Fives was distracted by Hardcase grabbing his arm, concern lighting his eyes.

"Fives," he started, and Fives knew it was bad by the tone of his voice, "Where's Echo?"

And like that the ground fell out from under him.

It's been awhile, but I hope you enjoyed.