A/N
I swear I named the document 'DiaMaru fluff'. I don't know how it became like this.
Say You Love Me, Zura!
A 'Love Live! School Idol Project' fanfiction by Yuuki.
(This story is a spin-off from my main AU story, "It's Soldier House!")
School festival was only a day away but Dia still hadn't asked Hanamaru to tour the festival together yet. Kanan and Mari had forced her to ask Hanamaru since two weeks ago but she always insisted that she was too busy and she could always ask Hanamaru tomorrow. Now that she only had a day left, she couldn't avoid it anymore. She had to ask Hanamaru today or she would spend the festival without her. Worse yet, if she failed, she couldn't deny Mari anymore that Kurosawa Dia was indeed a wimp and a loser.
Fortunately, Aqours practice ended up early today. Dia was able to make sure everyone left her and Hanamaru alone by telling the others to go home first as she and Hanamaru tidy the things up. But as their relationship was not a secret, she could feel some understanding smile without even looking. She also made a mental note to treat You anything she wanted, as the ash-haired girl drag the dense Chika who insisted to help Dia and Hanamaru.
Hanamaru was her usual composure self when they walked home together, but Dia could notice the slight blush on her junior's cheeks. Dia tried her best to hold back a grin as she was convinced that her junior was expecting something from her. It was now or nothing. "H-Hanamaru-san! Do you want to tour the next week school festival with me?"
Hanamaru stopped and turned her head to Dia before she asked, "Is it a date?"
Dia also stopped and gulped before she said, "Yes," with a sharp tone. Her face was all red though.
Hanamaru wasn't looked surprised at all. If Dia wasn't wrong, and she rarely wrong, Hanamaru was waiting for the invitation instead. "Sure, Dia-chan~"
Sure, Dia expected the answer. She was Kurosawa Dia after all. Reading people and the atmosphere was her expertise. But she couldn't help to clench her fist and threw a victory grin to whoever after she heard Hanamaru's answer. "Then please wait for me in the student council room at 11 tomorrow."
"After our concert?"
"Yes."
Hanamaru nodded before she asked, "But are you sure you can make it? I heard you'll very busy tomorrow, zura."
"Of course! Just who do you think I am?"
"Just don't force yourself, okay?" Hanamaru said while smiling. Dia swore she would do anything just to protect that smile.
Dia didn't know why Yoshiko's bad luck had to infect her today out of all day. Everything was going smoothly until their concert finished, but everything after that was chaos. How the heck there were so many problems when she was supposedly on a date with her crush?
She rubbed her temples in frustration when she heard there was also a theft involving students from another school. And if that wasn't enough, the audio system for drama club wasn't working. The drama club's performance was supposed to be their main event for the afternoon.
Dia felt herself on the verge of tears when she literally begged Mari for helps. She had a lot of things going on in her heads right now but it was the thought of hurting Hanamaru that made her lose herself. As if she knew that, Mari didn't tease her at all. She didn't even say anything except when she really needed to. Dia couldn't be more grateful to her blonde friends. An empty consolation was the last thing that she needed right now.
To be frank, she was ready to abandon it all as long she had her time with Hanamaru. But she realized that she didn't have that choice. The school festival must be successful or the student admission number would drop again. The student admission number depended on the open house and this school festival after all. Otonokizaka was saved by μ's three years ago and she couldn't risk it to be closed just because of her feeling. Or even if that meant she had to hurt Hanamaru once again.
"Just who do you think I am, huh?" Dia scoffed herself. "You're just a loser, Dia."
When everything was finally taken care of, the festival was almost over. The festival was as successful as Dia could hope. If it failed despite all the sacrifice she - and Hanamaru - made, she would lose herself for sure. Mari took care of the closing ceremony and literally ordered Dia to get a rest. "You deserved it," she said with a gentle smile.
Dia rubbed her temples for the umpteenth time as she sat down on the bench beside the school garden. She had made sure to text Hanamaru before to let her know that their plan was canceled and Hanamaru replied her almost immediately with 'I'll wait :)'. But it was hours ago. There's no way Hanamaru would still there. Hoping that at least she could see Hanamaru at her house, Dia texted Hanamaru.
K. Dia: Where are you? Are you home yet? Can I see you?
Dia put her phone in her pocket as she sighed, "There go my efforts for the past three months to get close to her again."
She was about to lie down on the bench when she felt her phone buzzing. She took her phone and slide it lazily. But her eyes suddenly grew wider as she read the message.
Hanamaru: Student council room.
Without thinking, Dia stood up and ran as fast as she could to the student council room. The "No running in the hall!" warning, a teacher who called her along the way, her status as the student council president, she ignored them all. None of them matters now. All she wanted to do was beg for Hanamaru's forgiveness.
She hesitated when she reached the student council room's door. She knew Hanamaru would understand her reason but that was exactly what hurt her. She felt she took advantage of Hanamaru's kindness toward her too much. And this wasn't even the first time. She also knew, despite her knowing smile that would welcome her as soon as she opened the door, Hanamaru was actually as hurt as her.
Dia let out a heavy sigh as she opened the door. She immediately saw Hanamaru inside. The girl sat in Dia's chair, reading a book. She didn't even lift her head when Dia entered the room and closed the door behind her. Dia could feel immediately something was wrong.
"Didn't you get my text earlier?"
Hanamaru flipped a page from her book before answering. "I got it, zura."
"Then why are you still here?"
Dia raised her eyebrows when Hanamaru didn't answer. She expected the girl to answer with her usual knowing smile but she just silently reading her book as if Dia was not there. The girl didn't look mad but the silence between them isn't the usual pleasant one. It was the awkward one. It felt like this silence choked her out of her breath. "I'm sorry," said Dia in the end, uncomfortable with the silence.
"For what? For canceled our date? I know you didn't have other choices, zura."
Dia grew silent and just stood there awkwardly as she didn't know what to say. Hanamaru was right though, she didn't have any other choice. This was not her fault. "You're right," she mumbled.
It was meant to be for Dia herself, yet Hanamaru could hear it somehow and it seemed like angered her. Dia was startled when Hanamaru suddenly slammed her book closed and stood up quickly. "Yeah. I was right, zura" she said with trembling in her voice. Her composure before felt like a lie as it faded quickly. Hanamaru shoved her book roughly to her bag as she continued, "Absolutely right, zura. And because I was right," she shouldered her bag and walked past Dia - without looking at her even once - toward the door. "That's the end of the discussion, zura. Good afternoon, President."
Dia was shocked when she heard Hanamaru called her 'President' with a sarcastic tone. She didn't know that that Hanamaru could make that kind of tone. She was about to let Hanamaru go but the small sob that came out from the girl behind her woke her up from the shock. If she let Hanamaru went home now, she would lose her forever for sure. So she turned her body as fast as she could and grasped Hanamaru's tiny hand quickly before the latter could reach the doorknob. "Wait!" Dia pleaded.
Hanamaru didn't answer and still didn't want to look at Dia. But at least she stopped.
"Are you mad?"
It seemed like that question snapped something inside Hanamaru again because she quickly turned and shouted to Dia, "Really? That's the best you can do, zura? 'Are you mad?' Really, President?"
That was the first time they looked into each other eyes today. Dia felt her heart sank when she saw traces of tears on her junior cheeks. It seemed like they were just about to dry but now Dia made it wet again.
"If that's the best you can do, let me go. I'm tired, zura" Hanamaru finally said in tired tone because Dia didn't say anything. She pulled her arm gently from Dia's clutch and turned to the door again.
Hanamaru was still Hanamaru. No matter how upset she was, she would never act roughly to her friends. It was still her Hanamaru. Feeling a little bit relieved, Dia finally found her voice. "No. Not until we resolved this problem." She could hear her voice was trembling.
Dia could hear Hanamaru let out another small stifled sob but the brunette could still answer clearly, "Tell me what's exactly the problem, then."
"I-I don't know."
"Then let me go. We have nothing to talk about, zura."
All the stress accumulated today finally took its toll on Dia because she unconsciously shouted, "As I said, I don't know! How the heck I could know if you don't say anything!" Her voice startled even herself and made Dia back to her sense. She was about to hold Hanamaru's shoulder and say sorry but Hanamaru was faster. She turned to Dia even before Dia could lift her hand.
"THEN ASK ME! TALK TO ME, DIA! THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO DO ALL THIS TIME!"
She didn't expect Hanamaru to scream. She didn't expect Hanamaru to call her just 'Dia'. She didn't expect Hanamaru to be that upset. She didn't expect Hanamaru to broke into tears after that. But most of all, she didn't expect Hanamaru to sound that hurt.
She had just sworn to protect Hanamaru's smile yesterday, yet she broke it only in a day. Even worse than that, she made her cried. She felt her heart sank once again. She didn't care about the tears that flowed down her cheeks. All that matter now was how to make Hanamaru stop crying and return that gentle smile to her face.
She knew that Hanamaru was mad at her, but she didn't know the other method to calm the girl down other than a hug. So she slowly pulled the younger girl into her arms. She expected Hanamaru to resist her, so she was glad when the girl didn't do that. She tightened her arms around Hanamaru small body and keep whispering, "I'm sorry," to her ear, hoping that at least it would calm her down.
Hanamaru had calmed down considerably after she cried her heart out for some minutes. But she didn't pull herself from Dia. Instead, she circled her arms around the older girl's hip. Dia didn't mind at all. If anything, she was happy with the close proximity between them. At least she made a right decision by stopping and hugging Hanamaru. She felt that she still could fix things up.
"You know," Hanamaru suddenly started. Dia didn't say anything but she tightened her arms, gestured that she was listening. "When we finally made up last year, I felt relieved and for the first time after some months, I felt truly happy. I thought that everything would be better for the two us, zura."
"I also did."
"That was why when you said that you need time, I didn't mind it at all. I thought you loved me the way I did, zura."
"But I really did and I still do!"
Hanamaru ignored Dia as she continued. "But after some weeks, I felt that you distanced myself from me, zura. You never asked for my help anymore, you were always busy when I asked you help for my homework, and whether you realized or not, you even talked to Riko-chan and Yoshiko-chan more often than you talked to me. Even though you only knew them for months, zura."
"But that was because I was too embarrassed to talk to you!"
Dia growled but Hanamaru ignored her again. "Knowing you, I thought maybe you were just embarrassed," Dia wanted to yell 'YEAH I FUCKING I DID!' but she held it down and listened to Hanamaru more. "But you continued to distance yourself even after a month, zura. I tried to think rationally, maybe you were still embarrassed. Kurosawa Dia, after all, always hold her pride too much that sometimes her acts were different with how she really feels, zura."
"You can't be more accurate," Dia let out a grumbled. She was happy though when she heard Hanamaru let out a very soft giggle.
"But I'm just a normal girl, you know? I'm not you who rationalize things most of the times. I'm Hanamaru, who tends to put my feelings before my logic, zura. And as the results, I can't hold it anymore after two months. I was hurt because I felt that you didn't love me anymore, zura."
"Wha-"
"No, don't stop me yet," Hanamaru pulled herself from Dia a little and looked up to Dia. "Let me finish, Dia-chan," Hanamaru pleaded. Dia nodded before she pulled Hanamaru back to her arms.
"You read people easily, but why couldn't you read me? I was sure that if someone could realize that I was hurt, it was you, zura. But you didn't notice at all. Instead, you still kept your distance and it hurt me more, zura." Hanamaru paused and pulled herself from Dia once again to take a deep breath. Dia, on the other hand, was afraid Hanamaru would go if she loosened her arms for more than a moment. So as soon as Hanamaru finished taking a breath, she pulled the younger girl into her arms once again. Hanamaru didn't seem to mind though, as she continued. "At the same time, you were still the same Dia to other people, zura. You were still calm, composed, and reliable. Then you started to spend more time with the others than with me, zura. The only time I could be with you was when AZALEA had practice, but you seemed like enjoyed talking to Kanan-chan more than to me. I was very lonely and jealous, you know?"
"I'm sorry."
"You didn't even ask me to tour the festival together. I thought you didn't want to go with me, but you asked me yesterday. I was very happy, zura. I thought that my wait was finally worthed it. But then suddenly everyone needed you again. They stole you from me once again, zura."
"I'm sorry."
"No, that wasn't your fault. As I said, you don't have other choices, zura. I was jealous, but I understood that our school needed you. I love this school as much as you, so I didn't really mind it, to be honest. But then your text came, zura. And it seemed that was my limit because my pent-up feelings exploded when I read that."
"My text?"
"You assumed that I was not waiting. You assumed that I went home, zura. Dia-chan, you, out of all people, should know that if I said I'll wait, I'll really wait until you come." Dia could feel that Hanamaru started to grip her blazer tightly but she let her. "I felt that you didn't understand me anymore, and it made really afraid what if you distanced yourself simply because you didn't love me anymore?"
"No!" Dia pushed Hanamaru so that made their gaze met. "I love you and you know it!"
"I didn't know, Dia-chan and I still don't know. If I knew, I wouldn't be this hurt, zura." Dia was about to explain it more but Hanamaru gestured her to stop. She tore her gaze from Dia's and looked down before she continued. "It was very silly, wasn't it? I was that mad just because of a text. But it showed how much I held my feelings the past three months, Dia-chan. The anxiety of waiting for you, the sadness of not talking to you, the fear of losing you... And then it exploded again when you didn't even know what's wrong and even admit that you were not wrong, zura. Well, technically you are not wrong, but..." Hanamaru stopped and back to Dia's arms instead.
"Yeah, I understand."
"You never told me that you loved me even once."
"Sorry."
"You never asked whether I was okay or not."
"I'm really sorry."
"Maybe you think I'm exaggerating things-
"I'm not."
"-but please remember that you had just come back to me 3 months ago. Before that, things were very awkward between the two of us for about six months. I don't want things becoming that way again now."
"I don't either."
"But maybe I'm also at fault, zura. I should just tell you. I expected too much from you and I hurt myself. But I'm afraid everything would end like the last summer, zura. I'm afraid if I show you my feeling, you'll start to distance yourself even more, zura. I'm sorry Dia-chan." After that Hanamaru grew silent.
Dia let the silence be for a moment as she wanted to enjoy the feeling of Hanamaru in her arms. But after some minutes, she felt that it was enough and started to open her mouth. "Would you be my girlfriend?"
Hanamaru quickly pulled her body from Dia's arms completely and looked confusedly into Dia's eyes. "That's really come out of the blue, zura."
It seemed like the words that came from Dia's mouth were not what she intended because she was also surprised. "NO! That's not what I mean!" That was not really what she meant. She wanted to tell Hanamaru that it was her fault for not noticing things that should have clear, that it was okay for Hanamaru to except things from her, etc. She didn't know how all of them could become, "Would you be my girlfriend?"
Hanamaru tilted her head but still stared at Dia in confusion.
"I-I mean," Dia stammered her words but she didn't care. "The root of our problem is misunderstanding, so first I want to tell you that I love you so much, but it comes out wrong-"
"Wrong? So you don't want to confess to me?" Hanamaru was actually flushed heavily when she heard 'I love you so much'. It was actually more than enough to get rid all of her sadness all this time. That was what she wanted to hear. But she decided to play with Dia a little more. It was not every day she could see this side of Dia.
"No! That's not it!"
Hanamaru frowned, though it was more to keep her expression firm than because she was upset. "You stumble over your words and clearly skip a few steps you know? Don't you think you should apologize to me first before saying anything else?"
"Ah!" Dia hit her forehead hard before she bowed to Hanamaru, "I'm sorry!"
Hanamaru tried her best to hold her laugh when Dia bowed. She tried to make her expression to look as annoyed as possible. "Now it sounds like I force you to apologize."
Dia straighten her back quickly before she said, "No, you're not!" as she gave Hanamaru a desperate look.
Hanamaru knew she couldn't resist Dia's puppy eyes so she turned back. "Well, do you think I can just forgive you after what you've made me went through, Dia-chan?"
Dia could see Hanamaru's shoulders started to tremble. She thought her junior was about to cry again, but actually, Hanamaru was desperately holding her laughter. "What should I do, then?"
"Maybe I can forgive you if you start calling me less formally from now on. You call everyone with -san, so calling me less formally will make me feel different with everyone else."
"L-Like, Hanamaru? Or Hanamaru-chan?"
"Everybody already calls me that."
"Then, H-Hanamaru-tan?" Dia was desperate, really desperate.
Dia swore that she could hear someone was chuckling outside the door but she soon distracted when she heard Hanamaru burst out a laugh. "Hey! You tricked me!" Dia shouted and turned Hanamaru toward her forcefully when the realization hit her.
"I-I'm sorry," the younger girl said while attempting to contain her laughter. "You're just too cute, Dia-chan!"
Dia couldn't feel upset when she saw Hanamaru laughing that happily, so she just watched the brunette with a gentle smile. And she was glad, really glad that they could resolve their misunderstanding. So this time, this time only, she would let the girl laugh at her.
"Actually the two before is okay, zura," said Hanamaru while wiping her tears from too much laughing.
Dia felt she was completely danced on the top of Hanamaru's hands but she let it be. Well, for now, at least. "Hanamaru, then."
"Okay, Dia-chan," Hanamaru smiled and nodded happily. "By the way, we really need to go home right now or we'll miss our last bus, zura," she said as she turned to the door. But Dia quickly held her.
"Actually, we have one more thing to discuss."
"Hmm?"
Dia cleared her throat before she continued. "Err, are we," she cleared her throat again. "Are we dating now?"
To her surprise, Hanamaru let out a confused 'Eh?'. "Since when?" she asked.
"Since minutes ago! I already call you by name only!"
Hanamaru sighed. "Dia-chan, I said I would forgive you if you called me less formally, not become your girlfriend, zura."
"What?"
"And actually, you should know my answer by know without even asking. It's a solid yes."
"YEA-" Dia was about to scream her heart out of joy and threw herself to hug Hanamaru but Hanamaru added quickly.
"But that'll be too easy for you, zura. I need you to do one more thing before I could accept you."
"What?" Dia didn't know how many times she said 'what' this evening, but it seemed like more than the amount of all her fingers combined. "I don't want to!" she said firmly when she saw Hanamaru grinned. "You're just going to prank me again."
Hanamaru pouted, but Dia could see a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Well, actually all you need to do is to kiss me, but it's okay if you don-"
"NO! I'LL DO IT!"
Dia quickly grabbed Hanamaru on her shoulders and pulled the junior closer. Hanamaru didn't resist at all and instead giggled when she saw Dia was quite nervous. Hanamaru closed her eyes gently, gesturing that she left it all to Dia. Dia gulped as closed the gap between their face. She noticed the heavy blush on her junior's cheeks, despite all the tease she has just done. "She's cute."
Hanamaru could feel Dia's breath when the older girl getting closer. It was sweet, a little hot, and she knew she loved it. "It smells like Dia-chan, zura."
Their lips were finally just a millimeter apart and Hanamaru was totally excited because she would finally get her first kiss. She could feel herself smiling.
.
.
.
Actually, nope. Not today because Dia suddenly pulled back. "Wait. Should I do it on the lips or the cheek?"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHAT THE HECK DIA?"
Hanamaru could feel her eyes shot open without she even realized. She ignored a certain blonde's laughter from outside the door as stared at Dia in disbelief. The latter scratched her head awkwardly before she threw Hanamaru a nervous smile. "Really?" Hanamaru asked before she shook her head and joined Mari's laughter.
Dia could feel she blushed to the ear as she heard Hanamaru and Mari's laughter. She couldn't take it out on Hanamaru, so instead, she slammed the door opened and screamed at Mari. "YOU'RE EAVESDROPPING ON PURPOSE, AREN'T YOU MARI-SAN?"
Mari put her hands over her chest while letting out an exaggerated gasp before talking in a fake offended tone. "I ain't, I swear! I just want to tell you that the ceremony is over!"
"You sure? Then why I can hear your laughter since, like, 10 minutes ago?"
Mari stroke her chin as she grinned from ear to ear. "Well, I don't know! But for sure I don't hear anything about you calling our lil' Maru 'Hanamaru-tan'! I also don't see you failed to kiss her because you wimped out in the end!"
Mari fleed while laughing before Dia could even say anything. "MARI-SAN! COME HERE AND LET ME KILL YOU!"
Kanan sighed as she saw Dia ran after Mari. "Sorry, Maru-chan."
Hanamaru let out a soft giggle before she replied, "It's okay, Kanan-chan. It's not your fault that Dia-chan can be a dork sometimes, zura."
"No, it's not that. It's about we knowing your private matters. We didn't mean to eavesdrop you, really," Kanan threw Hanamaru an apologetic look while offering the younger girl a pack tissue. Hanamaru took it gladly and let Kanan continued. "But then the two of you started shouting at each other. We were afraid that something bad might happened so we stay."
Hanamaru made sure she wiped all the tears on her face before she answered, "I appreciate that, Kanan-chan. But please let it just between us."
"Of course. I'll also make sure to keep Mari's mouth shut." After that Kanan decided to tell her about the closing ceremony, which somehow included Chika showing up in a mikan costume. Hanamaru realized that Kanan was trying to change the subject subtly and she thanked the bluenette for that.
The sun had already set when Mari and Kanan finally came back from their game of chasing. Mari offered them a ride because the last bus was departed already.
"One last question from me," Kanan asked while they were waiting for Mari's car to pick them up. "So are you two dating or not?"
"Of course they aren't! Dia failed to kiss lil' Maru!"
"Actually, Mari-san," Dia leaned toward Hanamaru and much to everyone surprise, she kissed Hanamaru lightly on the lips. "I did not fail."
When she came to the realization, Hanamaru blushed heavily. But still, she smiled happily as she hugged Dia's arm and said, "We're dating, zura."
A/N
As I hinted in the latest chapter of 'It's Soldier House!', something happened between Dia and Hanamaru. They resolve that problem not too long after the party (I'll write about that too for sure), but after that, they didn't really talk about things so we have this story. Well, as Dia said, it was a misunderstanding. But actually, most of our problems come from misunderstanding and overthinking lol.
Btw I won't write the spin-offs in order. I'll write things that currently are in my head. Well, that doesn't matter much actually, because most of my spin-offs can be read without reading my other stories.
Lastly, I hope you enjoy this story!