Change My Mind

I have re-written this story so many times I've completely lost count. Apologies for the amount of dialogue (I'm never comfortable writing lots of dialog) but its needed for the story to set up the next one.

This follows on from the original story I wrote called Fine Line (the boys initial encounter at Survivor Series 2016) and will link up nicely with their current 2017 story line which I am currently writing about. At the moment is entitle Through It All, the 1st chapter is done and will post it soon.

Until then my dearies, enjoy.

January 31st 2017

"It's your MCL again Mr Rollins."

But Seth already knew. He knew, as soon as Joe slapped on the Coquina Clutch. That same pop, the exact same pain crippling his leg just like it did the 1st time. He didn't need this lab coat telling him otherwise.

He lay in that hospital bed, his knee strapped, waiting to go into surgery. An awful familiar setting that Seth despised. His mind raced as the reality sunk in. The anger, panic over suing him. 'What if this is it, what if I'll never come back from this?'

He thought of other Superstars whose careers were cut short thanks to injuries. Bryan, Greaves, Kidd. All brilliant wrestlers that Seth had faced countless times, all forced into early retirement at the hands of this business. What if Seth was next? He blinked back the tears and rattled out a shaky breath staring up at the drab plain white tiled ceiling. He wasn't ready, he still had so much more to do but right now felt like a man about to meet his maker.

The Royal Rumble had come and gone, robbed of his opportunity to headline Wrestlemania thanks to Triple H and his wife. They were the reason he was laying in this bed, this was all their fault. When he gets out of here he'll make them pay, he's damn sure of it. He was going to put an end to their Authority once and for all.

His cell phone that sat on the table across his bed buzzed angrily into life. An incoming phone call. Seth didn't move, didn't even acknowledge the high-pitched shill ring that filled the room, he just let it ring out. To his surprise a new voicemail message popped up:

"What's the point of you having a damn cell if you never pick it up Davenport?" A small unhappy smile crept across his face as Dean's familiar surly tone occupied his ear "I just heard the news, you ok? God what a stupid thing to ask course you're not ok…" he could almost imagine Deans animated hands, running through his hair, waving about swatting an imaginary fly, pacing the room as he rambled "… you're probably feeling like utter shit right now and I get that. But I know you, you'll be back, stronger harder than before. You're a tough son of a bitch… not as tough as me but y'know whatever…" Seth chuckled sadly, he could almost hear the cocky smirk in the man's voice, see that swagger in his mind's eye. "Seriously, if you need anything and I mean anything I'll be there, don't hesitate to ask. Hell, I'll come to Raw and kick their asses for you!" There was a muffled rustle as Dean covered up the receiver as he talked to someone in the room with him "… I got to go to work," his voice came through clear again "You ain't alone this time brotha. I'm here. Ok?" Seth closed his eyes as the tear he tried to hold back betrayed him and rolled down his cheek. His words hitting him like an emotional freight train. "Take care, rest up. I –" there was a pause as Dean retracted what he was going to say before clearing his throat "Catch you Later."

Seth hung up. Resting the phone against his forehead his bottom lip started to tremble. Maybe being alone wouldn't be so bad this time around, at least he wouldn't have to deal with all the emotional baggage Dean Ambrose left on his doorstep.

He hadn't gone into the bar that night looking for a hookup, looking to rekindle anything. However, afterwards, he felt like his whole world came crashing down around him. He was angry. Angry at Dean, his promiscuous flirty ways, pulling him into his trap once again. Angry at the girlfriend whom he had never once mentioned. But mostly angry at himself, for letting this man burrow his way subconsciously into his psyche again. For letting one little insignificant action make him think there was something more. And worst of all, the fact that he was still madly in love with him.

Wondering those lonely streets that night his heart shattered into a thousand pieces with every step he took. He lay awake the same evening thinking of all those missed opportunities, shared hotel rooms, car rides, the times when Roman went home to see his family and it was just them on the road. If only he had just given him the benefit of the doubt.

Seth made a promise to himself lying in that hospital bed. No more. He wasn't going to spend the rest of his life being hung up on this man, he was going to get over this even if it killed him. If Dean could move on, then why couldn't he?

…::::::…::::::…::::::…::::::…::::::…::::::…

Raw: February 27th 2017.

Seth limped back through the curtain. Crutch lodged under his arm, aiding him as he walked. A rage seething through him like he'd never experienced. Hunters words swirling around his head like an aggressive whirlpool. 'He didn't make Seth Rollins.' The gorilla position was quiet, as he hobbled passed the few stagehands, all gathered at the entrance in quiet disbelief. Passing down the small makeshift hallway, past the shining stars Primo and Eppico waiting for their match. They stood watching him intently whispering as he skulked past, not even offering him a brochure to their stupid resort. Seth kept his head down lost in his own enraged thoughts. He didn't care what the others thought or how they stared. He knew he had to do this or die trying.

"You're an idiot," the familiar deep voice boomed around the small area breaking the all too awkward silence. Raising his head, he was met with the cold unsettling gaze of Roman. His large muscular arms folded tightly across his chest like a displeased big brother. He shook his head, is long wet black hair rocking side to side with the motion. Seth didn't say a word as he shuffled passed the large Samoan. "What the hell are you thinking Rollins?"

"I didn't ask for your input Uce," he grumbled staring directly ahead, making his way through the halls slowly. Roman followed. "You're not gonna change my mind"

"He's going to kill you"

"Let him try" Seth replied bluntly

"Seth" Roman stepped in front stopping his best friend in his tracks, his expression softer now, almost concerned. "I get it man, you got something to prove. To make everyone see-"

"I gave up everything for him Roman, Everything." Spitting the last word, emphasizing it as the rage bubbled to the surface "Put my life, my knee! On the line day in day out for him and this is how I get repaid? After my loyal services?"

"Are you surprised?" he scoffed unamused "It's Hunter! He has a track record of this crap"

"I need to do this Rome. I need to prove I can do this, that I don't need him or anyone." Seth limped passed his friend and carried on down the hallway

"At what cost though Seth?" Romans' voice laced with worry following after him.

"Whatever it takes."

…:::…

He didn't go straight back to his hotel, he hung around the locker rooms for the rest of the evening. Observing the New Day guys film another episode of Xavier's gaming channel. Catching up with his travel buddy Cesaro, even watching Romans contract signing with Strowman. All the while Triple H's words rattling around his head.

Raw had drawn to a close and Seth sat with Roman in his locker room while he changed into his street clothes, catching up on things Seth had missed out on while he was away. He was only half listening to Roman when his phone buzzed impatiently in his pocket. Another text messages. No doubt more friends and family begging him not to be so ridiculous. He was surprised to see the name Ambrose flash across the screen. Hastily he opened the message, it simply read "Damn, ur crazier than I am"

'Hello to you to Dean.'

It had been weeks since their last conversation. He hadn't meant to ignore him, nor did he like doing it, but he needed to concentrate on his recovery. Especially if he was going to make it to Wrestlemania. Because yearning after a man that has no interest in him like a love-sick puppy wasn't going to help. Unable to shake those blue eyes and shaggy bangs out of his head it was like he was addicted. And the best way to get over an addiction was to go cold turkey, completely cutting yourself off. (At least that's what Seth would tell himself.) This was all part of his plan, his promise to himself. Keep silent, pretend like he doesn't exist. Out of sight, out of mind… But if Seth was being truly honest with himself, this was making it worse. It just made him miss that lunatic more. It took Dean a while to get the hint, however. He still texted, called like nothing was wrong (of course, why would he expect any differently?) But they soon stopped when he realised Seth wasn't answering back. And today was no exception. He was tired, his knee hurt and didn't fancy adding a hang-up love interest to his shit pile as well.

"Spoke to Ambrose yesterday," Roman said casually as he stuffed his tactile vest into his suitcase. Seth hummed, snapping out of his little daydream, his eyes flashing up at the Samoan. "He seems to think you're ignoring him." Roman cast a sideward glance in his direction. Seth avoided his gaze and bit the inside of his cheek. Roman sighed and rolled his eyes, mumbling a curse word under his breath. "Why are you ignoring him?"

"I'm not." Seth tried to defend himself but Roman just saw straight through him. Raising an eyebrow and pursing his lips. The same 'don't give me that bull crap' look he'd give to Dean. "I just need space from him."

"You couldn't be further away from him right now." Roman mused, a small smirk puckering the corner of his lips "Has something happened between you two?"

"No." Seth sighed. With his elbows resting on the tops of his thighs he hid his face in his hands.

"What's happened?" Roman asked almost sarcastically like he had heard this a million times before. Zipping up his suitcase and sat next to his friend on the wooden bench. "You still mad at him for not telling you about Renee?"

"No, that's not-" Seth looked up into Romans big browns "-I don't know where my head in Rome. All I wanted was the 3 of us back together, sharing a beer, having a good time. Like friends, brothers. But it's all a lot harder than I thought it would be. I seriously thought I was passed all this. And now he's back in my life it's just dragged up all these feelings–"

"Wait." Roman interrupted. Shaking his head trying to understand what his friend was rambling about. "Are you saying you still like him?"

"I don't think I ever stopped." He couldn't look at his friend. He didn't need to see the confused look etched on his face.

There was an uncomfortable pause between them before Roman continued much quieter and softer "Have you talked to him about this?"

Seth let out a displeased laugh "And say what? Tell him I'm still crazy about him or that I'm only ignoring him to get over this hang-up" he responded sarcastically.

Roman shrugged "Better than shutting yourself away and bottling up your emotions – Not being funny Seth, but that's kinda what got you into trouble in the first place."

"I can't tell him" Seth sighed resting his chin on his balled-up fists staring out into the empty locker room "I just got him back, I don't want to ruin this."

"You're going about it all the wrong way Seth. Ignoring him isn't going to help your problem and it's only goin' to piss him off"

"Good. It was a lot easier when he hated me"

Roman tutted "Come on man. Don't say that"

Seth shrugged, "It's true." Scrubbing his face aggressively with his hands he groaned. It was true. All those months, years where they battled against one another was fuelled by the hatred they had for each other. Seth had no time to reminisce about the 'good ol' days' when Dean was beating the crap out of him. He was starting to get weary "I'm too tired for this. Can we just go already?"