Rivetra Week 2014: Day 3 - Demons

It does not take long before curiosity got the better of her.

Vera knows that she shouldn't be asking these kinds of questions, knows that it's a taboo topic especially during dinner times. But it's been bugging her ever since the new shift of lesson in history class and being the daughter of not one but two of the greatest soldiers of the now disbanded Survey Corps definitely put some pressure in her.

The idea didn't even come from her at all. Her classmates were not at all good with their subtle glances, eyeing her with looks of interest about her family history. They did not budge to ask her though which Vera was quietly thankful for.

Though what she didn't expect is for Ms Len, her history teacher, to be the one to directly ask her in class.

"Vera." Her tall and brunette of a teacher called out, stopping in her discussion of how the former military group had discovered the usage of Eren Jeager's power in order to seal up Wall Maria.

Vera all but looked up from her textbook to face her, eyebrows furrowed in mild confusion. "Yes, ma'am?"

"Have your parents told you of this?" she asked, and the rest of the class hushed up, not bothering to make a noise lest they won't be able to find out from an Ackerman herself.

The young girl was stricken with anxiousness not really knowing how to say answer. Sure, she had asked for clarifications on the subject matter from her parents but they gave her no chance of opening up the entire topic to her.

"I – I… no ma'am." She managed to stutter out and Vera watches as the class deflates at her answer. She fiddles with her writing tool, rolling the object between her thumb and index finger, lowering her gaze to avoid the disappointed look of her teacher.

"Very well, then." Ms. Len said after a few moments of quiet, and she went back to the lesson not anymore bothering to inquire from the girl herself.

She knew she shouldn't be frustrated with that known fact that her parents didn't fully trust her with the truth of their former affiliation but there is no other way to define it as. She feels hurt, yes, and very well sad that Mom and Dad might not like her knowing their past.

And to make things worse, not even Aunt Mikasa nor Uncle Eren themselves want to talk about it. Whenever she tried to introduce that same topic, they would often than not freeze in place as if memories had attacked the back of their minds and after that they would laugh it off saying that they forgot. Well, that was Uncle Eren's reaction but Aunt Mikasa vehemently shifted the topic, shooting her inquiry down.

To know that their past was a skeleton in their closet made Vera wonder even more why they try to bury it, albeit it had a positive effect on their society.

So, when she abruptly expressed her concerns on the matter during dinner – Did you kill people before, is that it? – Vera had to witness Levi almost choking down on his egg soup while Petra hurriedly brought him a glass of water.

"What was that, sweetie?" her mom said after making sure that her husband is alright, giving her a sideward smile and sits back on her chair opposite to her. "I didn't quite catch what you said."

Vera flickered her eyes to the both of them. Her mom is giving her a look of mixed emotions and looking not at all ready for the heavy conversation that is to come. Dad, on the other hand, has gone deathly silent and she could see his eyes are closed shut so she does not know what he's feeling at the moment.

"Uh…" she opens her mouth, desperately wanting to let her thoughts out but she's unsure how to exactly verbalize them. Vera had not seen them like this. That is to say, they both look like they are deer caught in the headlights.

"Ms Len, our history class teacher, asked me if I know any of what happened during the Titan War." She closes her mouth, and gulps slowly. Watching them in their every move and carefully chose her words. "I was wondering the real reason why you keep avoiding the subject is because you might have done things you don't want me knowing."

Vera draws out the last words as if in question, and like she had expected the results are not good.

"Vera," Petra sighs after the quiet has grown lengthier than usual and Vera winces slightly at the tired tone used by her mother. "Can't this wait?"

Her daughter can feel the tension rise in the air, and inwardly Vera wishes she hadn't talked about it at all but she's blaming her own curiosity for it and she might as well bite the bullet. "I know you don't want us to talk about it and I'm already guessing that there are indeed some things you probably regret doing."

"Vera, dear." Her mom calls out trying to stop her from rambling, but she's not yet finished and if there's one trait that her relatives associate her with her father is that she's stubborn as hell.

"No, mom." She stresses, staring hard at her mother. Her brows are furrowed with anger and confusion because she had yet to say her point. "I just want to know why you guys had been so adamant on not talking to me about it. Did you do shameful things when you were serving? Even though you did so much for humanity? Are you guys really that cowardi–"

"Enough."

That had shut her up, now only realizing throughout the whole exchange her father had not said a word and now that he did with that stern 'captain voice' of his, Vera wonders if she drew the line.

She turns to look at her father, his eyes now open and narrowed in a cold stare. Vera opens her mouth to retort only to shut it close, nothing to say anymore. Ashamed, she hung her head low and prepare for the scolding that is to come.

What she didn't expect, though, is for him to draw out a long and exhausted sigh before calling her name.

Vera looks up to his face expecting to see him angry or bothered but finds him studying her with that of tiredness. She didn't really see it from him since he's always make it a point to be a bit more uplifting to them, always cracking up silly jokes and whatnot but it is only now that Vera recognizes the weariness hidden behind her dad's façade.

"I did bad things." Levi starts, and the ever-obedient daughter in her stays silent at this revelation. "Bad things I shouldn't have done and things I regret doing."

"I was in a bad place before I met Uncle Erwin, before you mother. Even while fighting those monsters, I thought it was all behind me but no. I was proven wrong. We were proven wrong."

He gives Petra a soft smile before turning back to their daughter. "It took me a long time before I gotten over what I did. We were just afraid you'd think differently of us."

Vera observes them quietly and shakes her head, feeling herself tearing up.

"I'm sorry." She whispers, and quietly promises herself to keep this conversation a secret.