Short missing scene/post ep for 13x5

Title: Too many chances
author: Cindy Ryan
category: Post ep/missing scene
spoilers: all

They were almost to the state line before Sam Winchester was able to drift off to sleep. He'd huddled against the passenger door of the Impala with his eyes closed as the miles went by. Trying to put the most recent case in the rear view but it'd been impossible. Memories and images wouldn't leave him. Sam saw the young mother's grieving face every time he closed his eyes. She wasn't the first one they'd failed and Sam knew she wouldn't be the last.
Sam's own voice kept echoing through his thoughts; not letting him rest. Dragging him back to the horrible moment when the drug hadn't revived Dean. When the two minutes had come and gone and Sam was alone.

'Dean, come on.'
'Please….don't do this.'

As Sam had sat there trying to bring Dean back he'd remembered previous situations where Dean hadn't come back. Holding Dean in the former mental ward Sam couldn't help but wonder if they'd finally used up their last chance. That whoever was in charge on the other side had punched Dean's ticket. How many times had Billie told them that there had to be a balance? That it wasn't normal for them to keep coming back. Sam knew that and yet he'd been grateful that they were still able to bounce back. Still able to fight the good fight.
Now as Sam fell asleep he still felt Dean's cold skin under his fingers. /I don't believe in anything anymore./ Dean's earlier words mixed with his own pleading ones. Images of his parents melted into Cas; all gone. Sam's last thought as he finally succumbed to sleep was that he'd been so very afraid that he'd lost Dean for good.

Sam wasn't surprised at the nightmare that woke him It wasn't bad enough to wake him screaming which he was grateful for. Still he kept his eyes closed and body still until his heart rate returned to normal. While the nightmare hadn't caused him to scream it'd still been vivid. One of those real you think you're awake dreams. In part of the dream he'd been searching Meadow's house for his brother. Going from one dark room to the next. Various ghosts had tried to stop his search but Sam hadn't given up. The dream had shifted when he hadn't found Dean. In the new version Sam was back to where Dean had collapsed but it was a gaping black hole now. Inside the hole Dean was dangling desperately trying to hold onto the jagged edge. Sam kept trying to reach Dean; tried to help but some invisible force kept them apart. All Sam could do was watch as the crumbling edge gave way and Dean fell. That was where the nightmare had ended.

The ringing of a cell phone interrupted Sam's thoughts. He blinked his eyes open and groggily focused on Dean in the driver's seat as he answered the call. The look on his brother's face made Sam's blood run cold.

"What?"Sam asked anxiously. "What is it?"

Dean ended the call put the Impala into a hard u-turn and floored the accelerator. It was several minutes before Dean spoke. Sam shook his head in amazement; they may have just got that win his brother had wanted.

Late the next morning Sam stood in the main area of the bunker watching Cas and Jack talk as they sat at the table. Sam still half expected Cas to disappear or not be their Cas but so far so good. Movement out of the corner of his eye caught Sam's attention and he saw Dean walk up the stairs and stand next to him. He handed Sam a opened bottle of beer. Dean held one of his own.

"Thanks."Sam said as he took a sip.

"Figured you needed it."Dean stated quietly.

"Yeah."Sam acknowledged.

The memories of his nightmare still lingered mixing with what had really happened the day before. Sam had nearly lost everything and now they had part of their family back.

"I started to ask Billie…."Dean began then cleared his throat. "About Mom."

Sam stiffened turning to face his brother.

"And?"Sam asked his voice barely above a whisper.

"She sent me back before I could ask."Dean said bitterly. "So we still don't know."

"We have Cas back now."Sam commented his gaze back on the table. "He thought maybe combining his powers with Jack they could find where Mom is."

"Maybe."Dean responded. "Not sure the powers that be will give us two back to back wins."

Sam watched as Dean joined Jack and Cas at the table. He knew Dean could be right that they might never see their mother again. After everything they'd been through Sam couldn't help but believe that sometimes you had to enjoy this win and have faith that the rest of it would work it's self out.

end