A/N: I am so sorry for how long it took to get this posted. I injured my back and could move from the fetal position and then I started my masters program and have been so swamped that this is the first day in over a month I've had to even think about writing. Thank you to everyone who is still hanging in there and I will try to never let it go this long again!

Chapter 27: Taking What He Can Get

The next six weeks were as close to perfect as Severus could ask for. His days were humdrum, save for the occasional mishap in potion's class, but his nights, what nights he could spend with her anyway…they were anything but. He had Hermione in every way he could imagine and some that came solely from the recesses of her own perverse musings. They used nearly every toy in his trunk, save for the hooks and the full face mask, and he more than made up for his truly atrocious introduction to suspension. He made damned sure that when he did truss her up, he never struck her. They would have to build back up to that. One day. Perhaps.

They no longer had separate spaces for their games; he just as easily dominated her in his bed or on the sitting room floor as he did in his office and she took charge whenever the mood struck, straddling his hips on the couch, spreading herself open on the dining table and commanding him to feast, or even one memorable night when she disillusioned herself and hid under his desk during office hours. It just so happened that hell experienced snow flurries that day; a fourth year Ravenclaw actually needed his council and so he had guided the student through the requirements of the assignment and some possible resources to use while his cock was buried down the throat of a very naughty Gryffindor. He had to feign frustration with the exceptionally bright student to cover up his groan when he shot his seed deep down her throat, trying not to twitch as she continued to lap at his sensitive head afterwards.

That isn't to say that if Hermione felt he needed to get out of his head and let go, she wouldn't still saunter into his bedchamber and stand, hands on hips and eyebrow arched, silently commanding him to obey and worship her as she deserved. On those occasions he happily let her take top position, falling to his knees and losing himself in her, with her, for her. He found himself enjoying submitting almost as much as he enjoyed dominating. He had even allowed her to tie his hands to the bed, as long as he could free himself, and to blindfold him. He had enjoyed the anticipation, wondering where her lips were going to land next.

He even found that his pet truly enjoyed following his commands and he tested her limits by commanding her to do all manner of things. His favorite was when she wore a collar and crawled after him around his chambers, kneeling dutifully at his feet and rubbing her head against his shins whenever he would pause. He had started pacing back and forth just to watch her crawl around in circles. He sent her to fetch his slippers, not forgetting that she had commandeered them and smiling as she searched for them, growing more frantic the longer she went without finding them. He had finally taken pity on her and acted as though he had changed his mind, instead ordering her to remove his clothing. Then he commanded his pretty little pet to lick him clean, praising her efforts and thoroughly returning the favor.

Severus was surprised to find that his favorite moments with Hermione were ones in which they didn't have sex at all. When he could get away with it, he would sequester himself in his rooms, sprawled on his couch with Hermione lying against his chest, reading. Sometimes they each would be lost in their own books, others he would hold the book and they would read together. Usually, however, she would ask him to read aloud to her, curling up belly to belly and resting her ear against the rumble of his chest until she drifted to sleep. In those moments he would toss the book aside, bury one hand in her ridiculous hair and use the other to rub circles on her back until it inevitably soothed him to sleep.

At the moment he was enjoying one of those sex-free moments. Hermione's perky bum was perched on his lap in the kitchens as she ate risotto, after he had taught her the proper way to cook risotto. The elves were only too happy to abide by the command of Headmaster Snape and vacate the premises. Hermione had not yet cottoned on to the fact that the castle and its magical inhabitants responded to Severus as if he were still in charge. Severus chalked it up to her muggle upbringing; she probably attributed it to his position as a professor, as if any professor could have done it.

"Oh my god, Severus," Hermione said on a truly filthy moan, wiggling her bottom against his groin. "This is the best thing I have ever put in my mouth."

Severus wasn't sure if he should be offended, since he knew damned well how much she enjoyed wrapping her lips around his cock, or proud of his cooking prowess…since he knew damned well how much she enjoyed wrapping her lips around his cock! If it weren't for the fact that the chit possessed almost no guile whatsoever, he would think she was toying with him.

"And just when I think it can't get better, I swallow and that taste hits the back of my throat and….mmmm," she moaned worthy of a porn star and wiggled again.

So, okay, she might possess a bit more guile than he had originally given her credit for. Severus cursed the frigid air of December in Scotland and the drafty castle which necessitated the use of layers separating him from her warm cunt. He was nothing if not ingenuous however and so waited until she bent to take another bite, using his left hand on her back to push her down to the table and the index finger of his right hand to carefully apply a severing hex to her jeans, leggings, and knickers, thrusting his hand inside to find her slick slit and the greedy little bud begging for attention at the top of it. Her moan was a lot less porn-worthy this time but more arousing in it's honestly.

He pushed her head closer to the bowl of cooling risotto and commanded, "Eat, pet. I would not wish to deprive you," while circling his fingers around her opening.

She tried to fight him, to turn her head to the side, to push up from the table, but he was too strong and she had no leverage. Severus thrust two fingers fully inside her tight heat and smirked as her pussy clenched around them.

"Eat," he commanded again.

"Yes, Master," Hermione whispered, dipping her head into the bowl and taking a tentative bite.

Severus rewarded her with another thrust of his fingers, dropping his thumb to press against her distended clit. She gasped and rolled her hips, seeking more friction, whining when he ceased all movement. She was clever though, and quickly gobbled another bite. And so they played, with Severus rewarding each bite she took with a thrust and a rub, until her food was gone and she was a wet, mewling mess, risotto stuck to her chin and creamy arousal soaking the crotch of her infuriating layers of clothing.

He sliced her clothing away from her lower body, lifted her knees onto the table and spread them wide to accommodate his hips. The sight of her in nothing but a fluffy jumper, knee socks, and knit boots spread on the table in front of him had him wishing they were on a soft rug in front of his fire. Beggars couldn't be choosers though and the table was going to work just fine. He had his cock out and buried in her tight channel before her skin could even prickle from the cold.

He was not gentle, ramming fully into her and shaking the bowls and cutlery off of the table to smash against the stone floor. Hermione was appreciative, screaming her pleasure in the form of his name with each hard, fast thrust of his aching prick into her welcoming center. Her hands clawed at the table, trying desperately to hold on as Severus used both hands to pin her spread thighs flat to the wooden surface.

Finally, she came, clenching around his cock and shaking so hard the table nearly collapsed. Severus waited just until her pussy unclenched enough to pull free before doing just that, spinning her until her head was level with his bobbing dick and using one hand in her hair to pull her head up to the right angle and the other hand on her jaw to force her mouth open. He worked his cock, glistening with her pussy juices, deep into her mouth, giving her no time to adjust before he started thrusting, bumping his head against the back of her throat.

He was so worked up that it didn't take long before he was commanding her to swallow and shooting hot spurts of cum down her throat, pulling his dick out of her mouth slowly so that his seed spread along the length of her tongue, the last of it shooting right onto her lips and chin as his cock popped free of her mouth. Her face and his dick were a mess of risotto and his cum and he used his napkin to clean them both, pulling her up to sit on the edge of the table, not caring that their combined juices were leaving a puddle on the antique wood.

He left her sitting there, slightly dazed, while he tucked himself away and retrieved and repaired her clothing, slipping her shoes off so he could lovingly slide each piece up her legs until she was once again dressed, shoes replaced and all trace of their presence spelled from the room. He dropped a quick kiss to her lips, smiling at the satisfied look plastered on her face, before pulling her along behind him, the castle once again answering his call and opening a passage to his chambers where none had existed before.

It was the weekend and she wasn't expected to be in her room, the sole benefit of her closest friends knowing of their relationship, so he led her straight to his en suite, setting the bath to fill and leaving Hermione at the side of the tub, fully dressed until the steam from the tub could warm up the room. From his wardrobe he grabbed soft flannel pajamas, thick socks, and thermal underwear from the growing pile of her clothing, and a pair of black sweat pants, thermal t-shirt, and socks from "his side." It did not escape his notice that his living quarters were becoming more and more their living quarters, with her stuff intermingled with his own. He often wondered what was actually left in her room, sure that it all must have migrated into his judging by the sheer quantity of bric-a-brac lying about.

Digging through a pile of said bric-a-brac, Severus located a hair clip closely resembling a spider, to be honest, and returned to the bathroom, now sufficiently steamy. Hermione had already undressed, her clothing folded neatly in a pile on the counter, and was buried neck deep in the sudsy water, her hair draped over the edge of the tub so as not to get wet. Severus gathered it up and clipped it atop her head after depositing their sleepwear alongside her clothes. He stripped, banishing his clothing to the laundry, and joined her in the tub.

Their increasing domesticity should have clued him in to the possibility, but he blamed his complete lack of experience for not seeing the conversation coming. It was less than a week until the end of term, not quite two until the Christmas holiday, and they hadn't been apart more than a day or two since they started their affair…relationship. Still, he was unprepared.

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"What were you thinking of doing for the holiday, Severus?" Hermione asked, hoping it had come across as casual interest.

"The same as always, I would think," he answered drolly, soaping her arm down to her fingertips and massaging them one by one. "It is a toss-up between staying here, sleeping late, reading, and brewing or retiring to Spinner's End, sleeping late, reading, and brewing. Why do you ask?"

"Don't you want company for Christmas? Nobody wants to be alone on Christmas," Hermione replied without thinking.

"I have been alone a great many Christmases and I can assure you, I am quite content that way," Severus rebutted, dropping her arm and picking up the other.

"But you don't have to be," Hermione insisted, not wanting to push him into anything or make him feel obligated to invite her to spend the holiday with him, but starting to get anxious that he hadn't brought it up at all in the past few weeks. She practically lived with him for Merlin's sake; it seemed logical to her that he would ask her to spend Christmas with him.

"I prefer to be alone," Severus insisted, missing the signs of growing anxiety in his lover's features, too focused on soaping between her cheerfully painted toes.

"But if you didn't have to be…"

"I would still choose to be, Hermione," Severus interjected. "I find people to be at once dull and irritating. The sheer stupidity of most people is more than enough to convince me that I am better off alone than in the company of any of them. Frankly, the idea of spending even one day surrounded by overly cheerful, drunken tomfoolery made worse by twinkling lights and glitter turns my stomach."

"So you celebrate Christmas alone? But Christmas is about love and family. It isn't meant to be spent alone," Hermione argued, trying not to feel hurt that he would count her amongst the rabble of stupid, overly cheerful, drunken fools.

"Two things the universe never saw fit to allow me," Severus pointed out, breaking her heart whether he knew it or not.

"You're still young. You could find… someone, start a…a family," Hermione choked out. He apparently wasn't thinking as long term about them as she had been starting to think.

"I'm fine by myself, Hermione. Come, pet, it's too cold to stay in the bath so long." And with that he finished washing quickly and ushered them both out of the tub, drying them with a charm and handing her the pile of clothing he had gathered for her.

Hermione dressed on autopilot, a little taken aback at how adamant he had been about being alone. She thought she knew what was happening between them and where it might have been heading. She could fully acknowledge that she loved him, probably had loved him since he had revealed his horrible past to her tied to his own bed. She hadn't made specific plans for the future but whenever she thought about it his presence was a given. Apparently he did not feel the same about her, did not envision a future with her in it. She was six months from graduating. Six months and she wouldn't have to hide him, hide what they were to each other. But now she didn't know what that was.

After they were both tucked under the many covers on his ludicrously outfitted bed, not even magic being strong enough to lift the chill of the dungeon room, and her head was nestled in the crook of his neck, Hermione broached the topic again.

"I suppose I'll be spending the holiday with Harry. He says I can stay with him at Grimmauld since my…since I don't have…and we'll go to the Burrow for Christmas dinner, I'm sure. Things are still a little awkward with Ron but I'll manage. I guess."

She waited for his response, wondering if the idea of her being alone with Harry or facing Ron would be enough to warrant an invitation. Or if the reminder that he wouldn't see her for two weeks would be enough for him to extend an invite. She was disappointed.

"I'm sure," he yawned," you can handle Weasley." Just like that he was asleep, his deep breaths stirring her hair.

"Not the point," she sighed, burrowing closer to his side and resigning to figure it all out tomorrow.

The day dawned gray and wet and miserable and the last thing Hermione wanted to do was get out of bed, even if she couldn't tell that the day was gray and wet and miserable from this windowless room. Her bladder had other ideas and so she was forced to dart into the freezing bath and hover precariously over the cold toilet seat, damning the dungeons for being so impervious to basic warming charms. When she was finished she dove head first back under the covers, tucking her icy nose into Severus's very warm armpit and waking him up.

"Merlin's teeth, woman, you're an icicle!" Severus yelped, dragging her head out of his armpit by her hair. He stoked the fire higher with a quick wave of his wand and cast a warming charm on the bed, even though he knew it wouldn't last long.

"At least Grimmauld and the Burrow won't be as bloody cold," Hermione murmured.

"Spinner's End has central heat, a perk of being a muggle home. I added it years ago," Severus boasted, reminding Hermione that he would rather be alone in his muggle home than spend the holiday with her.

She took a gamble. "It will probably be warmer than Grimmauld. I think I'd rather be there."

Silence.

Silence could not be good.

He was probably trying to figure out how to tell her that he didn't want her there without it causing a row. She was just about to open her mouth to tell him she hadn't been serious when he spoke.

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"I can think of nothing I want more than to christen every surface of my home with you, nymph, but we can't," Severus answered, finally realizing what she had been getting at the night before. He was going to blame exhaustion and inexperience with relationships for not being as sharp as usual.

"Why not?" Hermione asked, dropping all pretense. "You live in a muggle neighborhood and nobody would recognize us, nobody would know."

"Potter and the Weasley's would want to know why you aren't joining them," Severus replied, cutting Hermione off when her mouth opened to argue with him, "and McGonagall would suspect something if you didn't go with them and wouldn't cover for you if you said you were staying here and you didn't."

"I could have Ginny cover for me so that no one asked questions. She can just say that I'm spending the holiday with my Slytherin beau. And, I'm an adult. I can go to the station but I don't have to get on the train. I'll just apparate from Hogsmeade," Hermione reasoned.

He could see the hope and the desperation shining in her eyes and knew that he was going to have to quash it, for her own good. This was the moment he had been dreading. When he might have to push her away, even just a little bit, just enough to get some emotional distance. "I don't see a reason for the subterfuge. You haven't had nightmares in over a month, even on the nights when we weren't together. I can easily owl you instructions as I did when you were serving out your punishment which will keep you sated and your mind occupied, should the need arise."

"Severus, that isn't-"

"Besides, you have been spending far too much time in my company. You have friends and the whole point of this arrangement was so that you could overcome your guilt and anxiety and learn to move on. So far, all you've done was transfer your attention from George Weasley to me. How will you know you've truly healed if you don't test yourself? Take this holiday as your first test, so to speak," Severus concluded.

Hermione didn't respond for a long time. It was all Severus could do not to take it all back and beg her to come to his home and let him spend two glorious weeks doing as he wished with her without classes, curfews, patrols, and the possibility of being seen to worry about. He used all of his considerable skills to school his emotions and keep his breathing steady, as if this little bit of theater wasn't tearing him apart.

Hermione rolled away from him and out of the bed, his wardrobe doors flying open and her clothes following her to the bathroom. He ran his hands through his hair and down his face, cursing himself for ten kinds of a fool. He was a blink away from storming into the bathroom and begging her to come to his home over the holiday. He was saved from that when she came out, dressed in jeans, tall boots, a cable knit jumper, and her coat. Her hair was braided and tucked under a knit hat and she held gloves and a scarf in her hand.

"Where are you going?" Severus asked, sitting up fully. They usually spent Sundays together, eating breakfast, making love, brewing for the hospital wing, and the like. He wanted her to back off emotionally a bit, not leave outright.

"You're right," she answered, not looking at him. "I have been neglecting my friends and I can see where you might feel I traded one lover for another. Time apart might be exactly what is needed right now. I'm sorry I've taken over your life. I thought our 'arrangement' ended when we agreed to try a relationship instead. Clearly, you do not feel for me what I feel for you. My mistake."

Severus had just enough time to wonder what she felt for him before she was slipping out the door, her belongings flying from the various drawers and surfaces they resided in and on and following behind her like some Disney movie. He threw back the covers and chased after her, displacing some of her things in his rush to get to her before she left his chambers all together. He reached her as her impressive stack of books was zipping into her beaded bag and grabbed her arm, getting smacked by a thick tome for his troubles.

"What are you doing?" he asked, not quite succeeding in concealing the panic in his voice.

"I just told you," she answered, still not meeting his eyes. "I've taken over your life and your chambers and all of your time and you want it back. Far be it from me to stay where I'm not wanted."

"Don't be daft," Severus growled. "How many more ways are there for me to show you that I want you? This isn't about what I want, Hermione."

"What is it about then?" she asked, whipping her head up to glare at him and tearing her arm out of his grasp. "Do you only want me if I get to be your dirty secret? Something to help fuck away the boredom and tedium of teaching? When I leave will you just replace me with someone else, maybe find yourself a proper sub or go back to your clubs?"

"NO!" Severus yelled, his blood running cold at the thought.

"To which part?" Hermione countered, hands on hips and belongings still flying around, waiting for her to open her bag again.

"Any of it. All of it," Severus answered, resigned. "I don't want you to be a secret; that's just the way it has to be. You are not just someone to fuck, to relieve boredom. I can't guarantee I won't ever find someone else when you leave and I think it's a bit selfish of you to ask me to remain alone for the rest of my life even after you move on and find someone else but I most certainly will not be getting a proper sub or going back to the clubs."

"So eager for me to leave, then?" Hermione asked, voice wobbly. "Maybe you even already have someone in mind to replace me. Maybe that's why you don't want me to come to your home for Christmas. Is there some muggle woman waiting for you, Severus?"

Severus was at a loss. She was acting mental, as if she didn't remember that he had confessed to never having a relationship before. She knew there was no one for him. He had told her she needed to be with her friends, to test herself away from him so she could live her life knowing that she didn't need him to find peace, to be able to sleep at night. And yes, he had been pushing her away a bit, starting to distance himself, knowing that she would be leaving, but he wasn't ending things with her.

Sev, you complete arse. That's almost exactly what you said last night when you kept going on saying you prefer to be alone. And then you nudge her away a bit this morning. She probably thought you wanted to end it completely. She doesn't realize you are far too selfish to do that. Yet. Not yet.

Severus wrapped Hermione in his arms and pulled her close. "You misunderstand me, pet," he purred in her ear. "I wasn't saying I don't want you in my home or that I no longer want this relationship. I was merely pointing out that you have yet to test yourself since we began our relationship. We've never been apart like this and it would be good for you to know that you are not suddenly going to suffer panic attacks the moment you are away from me."

Hermione sniffled against his chest once…twice…and then all of her things, her clothes, her hairclips, her books, her ribbons, her shoes, her quills, her muggle pens, and even her toothbrush zoomed away to their previous positions. She wrapped her arms around his waist and hiccupped.

"I'm sorry, Severus. I thought...it's just that…I wanted to be free to be with you and I…but then you kept saying you preferred to be alone…and it seemed like you were pushing me away!" she sobbed.

I was, pet, he thought. But I can't do it. I can't do it like this.

"Come back to bed, Hermione. We have a few days before the break and I want to spend them with you. And after, after the break, after you know that you are strong again, whole again, safe again, we'll talk."

Severus guided her back to his…their… bed, shedding clothing as they both went until they were bare and he could show her, again, how much he wanted her, slowly and tenderly, for hours, until neither of them had enough energy to think about their uncertain future.