"You do realize there isn't any real reason to rebuild this robot again, right?" Andy asked Bratt as they took the robot for a test drive.

"What are you talking about? It's better than the first one! And besides, this one has a bowtie!" Bratt insisted.

Clive and Andy rolled their eyes. They hated to admit it, but Bratt was right. This new robot had some neat hidden weapons, better controls, and smoother movement. Bratt had also claimed it could lift more than a thousand pounds, but Clive and Andy were pretty sure he was just making that up.

But none of that really mattered. Both of them knew that Bratt had lost it. His obsession with his show was bad enough, but now he wasn't even bothering to come up with original schemes? Clive wasn't sure how Andy felt about this, but he knew that, personally, he felt the most terrible sense of dread. His life was going to become a time loop folding back on itself as Bratt spiraled further into obsession.

"Ready to get crushed, loser?" Andy sneered, bringing Clive back to the present moment.

"Oh, come on! It's not going to happen!" Clive snapped. Almost on cue, the robot stumbled, and Clive found himself desperately clinging to Andy. Weirdly enough, Andy was clinging to him, too.

"Sorry about that, boys!" Bratt said, seemingly oblivious to the terror of his robot friends. "I guess there's still a few kinks I have to work out on the controls."

"That's the understatement of the century," Clive muttered under his breath. But he didn't have much time to worry about the impending attack, because the robot suddenly stumbled again.

"BALTHAZAR!" Andy and Clive screamed in unison.

Balthazar didn't take notice of them. He was far too busy shooting lasers at the AVL van that they'd just fallen over.

"Clive! Andy! THE BUBBLEGUM CANNONS!" Bratt cried.

Clive looked sheepishly at Andy. "I don't know where they are."

"Are you stupid? They're right here!" Andy exclaimed as he pulled open a hatch, only to be punched by a rainbow-colored boxing glove. "Ow! Why the hell is this even here?"

Clive couldn't help but giggle. Serves him right!

Bratt snorted. "For intruders, of course," he sneered. "Now get over and man the real bubblegum cannons!" He pointed to two almost-impossible-to-see pink cannons poking out the exterior.

Clive and Andy scuttled over and frantically slammed on several buttons, not quite sure what they were supposed to do. Immediately, ginormous wads of various-colored gum spewed wildly all over the city.

"CLIVE! ANDY!" Bratt screamed.

"We're sorry!" the robots yelped in unison. "We just don't know what we're supposed to do!"

"Oh for crying out loud….just turn the stupid thing and press the pink button!" Bratt said, slapping his forehead. Clive thought he heard Bratt mutter something under his breath about artificial intelligence not being so intelligent, and it took everything he had not to sass Bratt back. Instead, he did as Bratt told, but as he aimed, he made sure that the blob landed just next to the AVL truck, in case Gru or Lucy were in there.

Bratt rolled his eyes. "Nice shot there, Clive. Couldn't you do better than that?"

"Yeah," Andy added. "It's almost like you're on their side or something."

"I am NOT!" Clive yelped. He panicked as he scrambled for an excuse. "I just….uhhh….my pincers slipped, that's all!"

As soon as the words exited his mouth, he knew nobody was going to buy it. What am I going to do? I think they want to kill me. There's nowhere I can go without being kidnapped, he realized with horror.

Clive smiled sheepishly. The next thing he knew, Andy had grabbed him by the throat and was forcing Clive to look him in the eyes. "What's wrong with you? Are you siding with the Grus or what?!" Andy snarled.

Clive looked defiantly back at Andy. "Who cares if I am? What makes you think I am, you angry button-pusher?"

Andy smacked Clive across the face. Satisfied with the resulting whimper from Clive, Andy said, "Come on, Clive, admit it. You like the Grus. If you're going to be a traitor, at least be honest about it!"

"Fine," Clive admitted. "Do what you want with me. I'm sick of putting up with you anyway."

Clive wished he could take back his words as Andy marched towards one of the windows. "Fine then. Take a good look, Chive, because this is gonna be the last thing you'll ever see!" Andy declared before he chucked Clive through the window.

"My name is Cli-" Clive started, but his words were cut off by his own screams as he plummeted to his doom. Well, look on the bright side; maybe dying is the best thing I can do. At least then I won't be torn between these two maniac families, he thought as he continued to fall.

He was still screaming when he felt someone slap him across the face. He cautiously cracked open an eye to see Cowlick and Fu Manchu glaring down at him.

"It's you again," he said.

The two agents scowled even more. "Yeah, and you just broke the roof of our van," moaned Cowlick.

"Whuh-?" Clive began. The agents pointed up at the roof to reveal a roughly Clive-shaped hole in the roof of the van. Clive started laughing hysterically. "I'm so sorry, I didn't even think that-"

Fu Manchu clapped a hand over his mouth, and Clive went silent. "You're not going to laugh for long. We're taking you back to the AVL to pick your brain."

Clive started giggling again, against his better judgment. "What are you talking about? I don't have a brain! I have a data-"

"Oh, so you want proof, now do you?" growled Fu Manchu. Clive opened his mouth to ask just what was going on, but before he could say a single thing, his body limply flopped forward as the ominous, slimy mixture-filled container with his brain was pulled out of his body.

Cowlick smiled and stroked the brain. "Can't wait to see what's in it."

Fu Manchu returned the grin. "Me too, Cowlick. Me too."

…..

What was your last memory of Bratt before capture?

Clive felt confused. He couldn't see, hear, or feel anything, and yet he clearly sensed the command squirming its way into his database. I bet I'm dreaming, he thought. Or maybe I freaked out and fainted again.

The question repeated itself. What was your last memory of Bratt before capture? Answer, you hideous brain in a jar!

Ma'am, I don't have a brain. I have a database. Sorry to disappoint you, Clive thought back. This whole thing was rather creepy and he wished someone would explain what was going on.

Stop lying, you traitorous mass of tissue! We can clearly see your brain hooked up to the machine, scolded the voice. Clive wasn't a hundred percent sure, but he thought the voice sounded an awful lot like Valerie Da Vinci.

Machine? What are you talking about? I think I'm dead, Clive replied.

You idiot. Your brain is hooked up to the machine so we can talk to you without you running away. We can see the bubbles and the electrical current, so we know you're still alive. NOW ANSWER THE QUESTION, YOU FREAK OF NATURE!

Maybe I will once you're nicer, Clive retorted. Whoever was being rude to him obviously deserved a sassy reply. He hadn't made a really great one in a while, and it sure would be nice to sass Valerie. The Grus would probably like it, too.

Are you trying to appeal to the Grus' sympathy? One of their little girls is in tears. The sooner you answer the question, the sooner we can get you back in your silly metal body, said Valerie.

Clive felt cold. My body? Machine? Talking? One of the Gru girls in tears? He thought he got an idea of what was going on. They'd ripped out his database, attached it to some weird machine so he could still think, and the poor Grus had to watch as he lay totally helpless before the AVL. No wonder one of the girls is crying. I hope it's not Edith.

Well? Get on with it! Valerie snapped.

Sorry, Clive said. Errrmmm, let me see….uhh, I was in Bratt's new crazy robot, and I was shooting bubblegum at the AVL van. I tried not to hit them in case the Grus were in there. Andy threw me out the window, and I was screaming and falling, and then Cowlick and Fu Manchu complained about me ruining the van and then they ripped my database out. I think that's about it.

There was a moment of silence before Valerie spoke to him again. Who's Andy?

He's Bratt's new robot. He looks a lot like me, except he's bigger and scarier and he hates me, Clive said.

After that, Valerie asked him a series of questions about Andy: how he had been programmed, when Bratt had made him, what, if any, weapons he had, what did he think Bratt and Andy were going to do next. Half of the time, Valerie had to remind him of the question, since he was so bored with answering them that he honestly forgot what he was supposed to say. He was glad that Valerie was frustrated, though. At least he had some form of relief from her endless inquiries.

After what seemed like fifty years, Clive was finally brave enough to ask, Are these questions almost over?

The response that came chilled him. No. We're going to be questioning you and examining your memories for a long, long time. Right now, in fact, we are going to lock you and your little brain up in a vault for a while so we can figure out what to ask you next.

N-n-no you won't! You can't! That's horrible! Clive wailed. He didn't hear an answer back after that, so he figured Valerie had picked him up and was carrying him to the vault. He felt a buzz of fear as he realized that this would be the rest of his existence: A disembodied mind, destined to be driven mad by loneliness and lack of contact with the rest of the world.

Just as he was getting ready to scream in horror, he felt what, oddly enough, seemed to be a falling sensation. Then he heard the shatter of glass and a little girl screaming, "Give him back! Stop being so mean to him!"

He had just enough time to think, I'm so glad Andy isn't here to make fun of me passing out, before everything went black again.

…..

"Sorry, Gru. It looks like he's dead. There isn't much I can do about it," Nefario apologized as he looked at the wet, squishy brain in front of him.

"PLEEEEASE! You must do sometheeng! Ze girls vill keel me if you don't!" Gru begged.

Nefario tried not to laugh at Gru's almost comical desperation. "I'm sorry, Gru. I'm not familiar with this at all. I don't even have the faintest idea as to what I'm supposed to do. I don't even know if the brain is still alive or not."

"Do sometheeng! Anytheeng!" Gru pleaded. He was at the end of his rope. He knew how much this silly robot meant to Edith, and he feared having to tell her he couldn't do anything.

Nefario scratched his chin. "Well, I've been doing a few experiments, and one of your minions was able to survive for three weeks on nothing but that old jelly we made…"

"So?" Gru said.

"...so I might be able to sustain this brain on the jelly," Nefario concluded. "And with a few jolts of electricity, I just might be able to get our old friend going again."

"Zat ees brilleeant!" Gru said.

Nefario rolled his eyes behind his goggles as he got a container of jelly. After plopping the brain into the jelly, he hooked some wires to it and pressed a lever. A blinding electric blue light lit up the jar as zapping sounds filled the air. A few moments later, a couple of bubbles lazily made their way through the jelly to the surface.

"Vhat does that mean?" Gru asked, looking at the jar.

"It either means I've cooked his brain or that he's alive again," Nefario replied with a shrug.

Gru stared at him. "Ees zere any vay to know for certain?"

"There is a machine I could hook him up to to see if there's any brain activity…" Nefario trailed off. He carried the jar over to a machine with various wires and levers. Once again, he hooked up the brain, then stared at a couple of monitors that seemed to spout complete gibberish.

"Ees he alive?" Gru asked.

Nefario squinted and adjusted a few levers. "I'm not sure, but I think I'm getting something."

"Really? Vhat ees he sayeeng?"

"It's just brain activity. I'm not sure. I'd have to put him back into his body to know for sure what's going on."

Gru slapped his forehead. Why hadn't he taken Clive's body back with him?

Nefario put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, Gru. The brain will be fine until we can get him his body back."

"But how do ve talk to heem? He's going to go crazy if he doesn't know vhat's going on!" Gru insisted.

"If I make a few tweaks here and hook up this other machine to him, I just might be able to talk to him," Nefario said as he frantically made adjustments. Gru tried to follow everything, but Nefario's movements were so rapid that he couldn't keep up. In a few moments, both were huddled around a screen that only displayed an enigmatic series of repeating ellipses.

"Well, he isn't dead. That's the good news," Nefario declared.

"Yes, but can he speak to us?" Gru said.

"I don't know yet, Gru! Give him some time!" Nefario snapped.

After what seemed like forever, a message finally appeared on the interface. Hello! Is this heaven?

Nefario chuckled, then typed in a response via a keyboard connected to the device. No, Clive. We're glad to have you back. Unfortunately, you're going to have to wait until we get your body back.

It didn't take long for Clive to respond. What? You mean I'm going to be stuck as a disembodied database until I get my body back?!

I'm sorry, Clive. There's nothing we can do right now, Nefario typed back.

Great, Clive said. I'll be stuck in a nightmare for however long it takes for you to get my body back.

"He's not very grateful, is he?" Nefario muttered.

Gru nodded. "I guess ve vill have to get ze body back as soon as posseeble if ve vant any peace around here."

…

A couple of weeks after Clive had gotten his body back (the AVL had reluctantly given it back after deciding Clive wasn't providing useful information and Gru might as well keep him), Clive was taking Kyle out to pee when he saw a face he hadn't seen in what felt like forever. A face that made him very, very nervous.

"Psst! Clive! Over here!" Andy whispered before yanking Clive behind a bush.

Clive yelped and tried to whistle for Kyle, but Andy clapped a hand over his mouth and glared. "You can't let anyone know what's going on. You spill the beans to anyone and you get a load of this-" Andy clicked on his chainsaws and whirled them around. "-so keep yer mouth shut, all right?"

Clive nodded, terror rising inside of him. What on Earth could possibly be going on?

"Bratt's going to launch his robot in a few days," Andy said. "He just found out that the AVL isn't releasing the final episode of Evil Bratt to the public, and he's pissed. He wants to get back the tape, broadcast it to the whole world, then destroy whatever he can."

"None of this concerns me," Clive sniffed. He winced as Andy raised a fist, but Andy didn't hit him. Instead, Andy gave him a look of disappointment and continued to explain.

"He wants you to be with him when he goes on his rampage. I told him that you could care less about him, but he wouldn't listen to me. He says you were an essential part of Evil Bratt and it just wouldn't be the same taking over the world without you. He really misses you, Clive. I know you don't like him, but you're his whole world. Honestly, I think he hates me more than you do."

"Really?" Clive said, surprised. Sure, he knew that Bratt didn't really have any other friends besides him, but he had no idea he didn't like Andy. He thought Bratt actually liked Andy better. Why wouldn't he? Unlike him, Andy was actually good at attacking people, he was way more loyal to Bratt, and he was better than him in every way. What was there not to like?

Andy nodded, clenching his teeth and narrowing his eyes. "Bratt says he likes you better because, apparently, you're a 'real friend' with a 'real brain' and I'm just a pile of bolts and electricity who pretends to love him!"

Clive thought he knew where this was going. "Uhh, this has something to do with the fact that I think I have a brain, right?"

Andy growled and pinned him down. "You betcha! He says you're one of a kind, and unlike me, he can't just rebuild you if something happens to you. I guess you only matter to him if you have some kind of fancy science fiction doodads to make you 'real'! Apparently I'm just a stupid machine and I'll never be like you!"

Even though Clive was terrified, he couldn't help feeling a little sorry for Andy. After all, it wasn't Andy's fault that Bratt was biased towards him. It certainly wasn't Andy's fault that he was built differently. But what could he do? He didn't want to go back to Bratt, but he couldn't just let Andy suffer needlessly.

"Ummm, if you want to stay here, Nefario might have room for you in the basement," Clive suggested.

"I'm not staying with your stupid buddies," Andy said. "I'm here to take you back to Bratt's. I'm gonna replace you. Bratt said nobody would notice if I took your place. Frankly, I think he's hoping I'll get broken into bits while I'm here so he never has to deal with you again. The nerve of him!"

Clive rolled his eyes. "Andy, you look nothing like me. For one, you weigh about three hundred pounds-"

Andy shoved him.

"-and for another, your personality is totally different," Clive continued, ignoring Andy. "Trust me, you wouldn't survive playing with Edith. In fact, I'm pretty sure you're way stronger than her, and Gru would kill you if you hurt her."

Andy was starting to lose it. "Clive! I've got no choice! You're going with me or getting chainsawed! Which do you prefer? I'm pretty sure Bratt would take me apart if I come back with nothing but your poor dead brain…"

Clive crossed his arms over his chest. "Fine. I'll come. But you're taking me back once this whole thing is over."

Andy shook his head. "I can't guarantee that, Clive. You'll just have to deal with whatever happens."

Clive rolled along after Andy, knowing with a sinking heart that Andy was right.