"Remus"

"Huh?" Her eyes look into his, but he doesn't look back this time. He can't.

"What is it?"

"Huh?" He repeats, in a lame effort to gain some time.

"You seem… distracted."

And, of course, she is right. Only, this time he's not distracted by her, exactly. But his mind isn't on the mission either.

Say something. Keep quiet. Say something. You'll ruin it. Do something, then. You can't.

Why? That treacherous, weak part of his brain insists on asking, once and again.

You're not good enough for her! That other part of his brain, the reasonable one, has a point.

"I'm… not. Just tired, I suppose," he manages and he knows it's lame.

Does she see through the lie? She glances up at the night sky; he knows she's confirming that the full moon is still weeks away.

Nobody speaks for a while, and he's sorry he might have sounded snappish.

"Do you think he'll show up?" she finally asks.

He looks at the empty warehouse. From the hill where they are sitting next to each other under Moody's invisibility cloak, the whole area looks deserted.

"I don't know. It might be a false lead."

"As they usually are," she sighs.

Tell her. Don't. Say something. Don't you dare. Anything. No.

The proximity doesn't help. Moody's cloak forces them to be very close, shoulders almost touching, and his own thoughts are driven away now and then.

Her body is warm. She's wearing a sweater, but he can imagine the soft skin underneath it. How many nights has he laid awake, imagining that skin despite the internal yells of his own common sense. His fingers would dare to touch, with just the tip at first, and then with increasing boldness he would feel that softness against his own rough hands.

She sighs, and he looks at her just in time to see her chest move.

"Are you all right?" he asks.

"Yeah," she says, and their eyes finally meet. He raises an eyebrow at her. "All right," she admits reluctantly. "Maybe a little tired."

"How many double shifts have you been taking lately?"

She chuckles humourlessly. "I thinks it's easier if you don't count them."

"That many?"

She chuckles again.

"We might be here for a while, why don't you rest for a bit?" The image of her head resting on his shoulder is enticing.

"You mean sleep? On the job?" She sounds partly scandalised and partly amused.

"I'll wake you up if something happens," he promises.

"You just said you're tired."

He chuckles. Of course he did. Only, it was a lie. Too late to backtrack now, though.

"Oh well, you leave me no choice," he says, in a tired voice.

She just looks at him, curiously, as he rummages in his pocket. It's been enlarged earlier, precisely for this.

Finally, his fingers find it and he produces a bar of chocolate.

"Remus Lupin, you're a lifesaver."

"Yeah, I might have been called than on occasion," he says, and offers her a piece. The tip of their fingers touch, for just a second, and he thinks he should do this more often. And then, how pathetic he is of relishing at just the touch of fingertips.

"Thanks," she says, and the chocolate disappears. "Forgot to have diner."

"How? There's an entire Weasley casserole at headquarters."

"I thought as much, but I made it barely on time, remember?"

"I should've packed you some."

"Don't worry about it. Can I have some more chocolate?"

This time he places the small square in his open palm. If she thinks it's weird, she doesn't say it. The louch lasts a little bit longer. Her fingers feel much more intense on his hand. And he is so distracted by the shiver that runs down his spine, that for a second he completely forgets why are they there.

I have to say something. There is that thought again. Yes. It seems to be the only thought that makes sense, when he looks at her smile of gratitude and at how her eyes spark, even at the dim light.

Only, he knows deep down, he shouldn't.

"Remus?" she asks after a moment of silence.

"Tonks?"

"Nevermind."

"What?"

"I was just going to make a stupid question," she shrugs.

"Then make it."

"Rather not."

"In exchange for another piece of chocolate?" he shows what's left of the bar, just outside her hand's reach.

"You would've given it to me anyway."

"How do you know?"

"You wouldn't want to make the rest of the watch knowing that it's because of you I collapsed," she says, laughter vibrating in her words.

"Really?"

"And… you're a gentleman."

"Not sure about that." Gentlemen are not supposed to be cowards. Nor are they supposed to pine over a beautiful woman so many years younger and in so many ways better than them.

"I am, though. So, you giving me more chocolate?"

"You telling me your stupid question?" He arches an eyebrow and she laughs.

"Oh, all right, but don't take it the wrong way."

"I won't," he places the square of chocolate on his palm agan, and this time, quite deliberately, she lingers, and he shivers at his touch.

"You ticklish?" she asks, without taking the chocolate, but tracing a circle around it with her fingers instead.

"No," he says, and his voice sounds weak. All of him feels terribly weak, and it's just terribly fortunate that there are no Death Eaters around, or he would've been a goner.

"Doesn't seem so," she says, finally taking the chocolate.

He chuckles. "That was the question?"

"Oh yeah," she replies, a tad too quickly.

"Wasn't."

"Was too."

"Was not."

"Oh, all right then," she huffs in mock exasperation. "I just wanted to ask you how come you're not dating anybody."

Now the blood in his veins has frozen, he's sure of that. Maybe she is a Legilimens and has kept it hidden all this time.

"It's a stupid question, Tonks," he manages, and his voice sounds weak. "Who would've want to date an unemployed werewolf?"

"Oh, come on! Now you're being stupid. What does that has to do with anything?"

"Really? Are you really asking that?"

"Now I am," she says, her eyes fixed on his and, again, he almost loses his train of thought because it's really too easy to forget about the entire world when those beautiful brown eyes are fixed on his.

"Well, if you want me to spell it out for you, most people wouldn't even consider sitting as close to me as you are now. Just because me being a werewolf. And then, how many women do you know that would like to date someone with zero job prospects-"

"For the time being."

He ignores her "... and no career whatsoever, not to mention, usually despised by society at large."

"That's just self-pity."

"It's not. And anyway, you said the question was stupid yourself. You must have thought about all of this before."

She sighs. "I did not, as a matter of fact."

Really? He thinks, and maybe he can believe her. "What did you think then?"

"Crazy schedules. Double life as secret agent and spy. Order duties. That sort of thing."

"Is that why you're not dating anyone?"

"Hm." She seems to be choosing her words carefully. "Not really. I mean, I know it would be next to impossible to date someone with all those extra shifts and life in general. But… oh well. I just… I think it'll be hard to find someone…"

"How so?" he asks with genuine interest.

"High expectations."

"How high?"

"Very high. Impossible really." She sighs, and stoops a little, looking at her own empty hands. He thinks it sounds as if she's defeated. This is the first time he has seen her like this, so unlike her optimistic everyday demeanour.

He takes another square of chocolate and places it right under her line of vision.

"Ugh." She says, and he's puzzled, because she takes the chocolate anyway, without lingering this time. And then she eats it.

"Ugh?"

She sighs. "High expectations, Remus."

"Now you've really lost me."

"Nevermind."

He sighs. "All right."

And then it strikes him. Could it be that she's talking about him? No, of course not. How could it be? And then, who…?

There could be a million explanations. Somebody from her past. Somebody from work. Someone she read about. Someone whole. Young. With a future.

Not me, surely.

Surely?

"Tonks?" He didn't realised he spoke, and now he's scared, really scared, but he has to go for it. Now.

"Remus?"

"Nothing… I… I guess…" He sighs. "I wish I wasn't feeling so worthless."

She looks at him again. "Yeah, I wish that, too. Because you're not. Far from it."

"Well, you see…" he swallows, hard. There is a knot in his throat that is making it all ten times more difficult. "It's easy to feel good when I'm around you. Or in Order meetings. But outside, for the rest of the world-"

"Do I seem like somebody who gives a rat's ass about what the rest of the world thinks?"

He chuckles. "Not really."

"There you go."

"Yeah… maybe that's why I feel good around you."

"Just… good?"

His brain seems to stop then. She's still looking at him, and he can't look away for the life of him. Suddenly it feels very hot under the invisibility cloak and he feels he needs to take it off and breath the cool air of the night.

"Not just good, no." And this new idea distracts him again, for a second. She's that cool air he's so desperately needing right now. He has to take the risk, or he'll suffocate soon enough.

Feeling scared and hearing the beating of his own heart, he reaches his hand and takes one of hers. Her small fingers close around his and it feels so very warm and right.

"Not just good," he repeats. "Perfect. With you I feel I can do anything. I feel as if I have a place in the world, and it's a world worth living in."

He waits for the longest second until a small smile starts on the side of her lips. "Really?" her voice is barely audible.

"Really. And I know it's just wishful thinking of my part but I-"

"You make my world perfect, Remus," she interrupts. "In case you were wondering."

He's not thinking anymore. Is just instinct, pure and confident, what makes him cup her cheek gently, slowly, and then there is nothing in the entire world but her soft warm lips on his.

And it's very fortunate the mission was in fact a false lead because both of them are so very distracted.