~ Chapter 5 ~

Malfoy Manor.
Lucius Malfoy's Birthday.
9th September 2004.

There were many things Harry didn't want to see in his life, one of those was his best friend snogging Malfoy—he may have been exaggerating the snogging part, because he only kissed her lightly on the lips then took her arm.

Lucius was a courteous man and Harry detested that he couldn't find something to poke at and tell him he was wrong. Lucius had started to frequent at Grimmauld Place with Hermione ever since he started courting her. Yes, my best friend is dating a Malfoy.

He didn't like him much, but Hermione seemed happy being with him, so he kept his comments to himself. It turns out that she hadn't turned up at the last anniversary ball because she and Lucius had come to blows over something. He had soon come over to apologise, and then they'd started dating secretly; Harry knew she wouldn't have said anything for a long time if he hadn't walked in on them.

I'm happy for her...she gets to see the person she likes daily, I don't. Harry never told Hermione about Severus, but he knew there was a chance that Lucius may have told her. He knows everything.

And now here I am at his birthday party.

Harry was walking on a nervous cloud. Hermione had told him that Severus wished to talk to him at the party; Lucius told her to relay the message, and Harry wondered if it was serious. Is he going to end things? No, he wouldn't pass it on like a message...does he have a proposition for me?

He looked around for any sign of Severus, I hope he's here because I have plans for him tonight. He'd done his research and knew exactly how to pleasure him correctly. I've got this in the bag and I'll finally get to surprise him-

"Harry!" Ginny latched onto his arm and he froze.

"Ginny? What are you doing here?" He understood why she'd been at the anniversary ball, but not why she was here.

"A few of my friends received invitations, so I decided to tag along. How are you?" She smiled up at him.

"I'm doing well."

"I'm glad! We didn't have a chance to talk at the ball, so we should do so now," She pulled him out of the ballroom and a familiar face walked through the front doors as they left.

Harry's eyes widened, and he gave Severus a pleading look, but his face remained void of emotions. Oh, bugger…

"Ginny," He said. "I have something I need to take care of-"

"Just hear me out!" She exclaimed and they stopped by a tree. "I've been wanting to talk to you for a while now."

"About?"

"Us."

And there it was, Harry's sign that he needed to get the hell away from her. I need to find Severus. We need to talk about everything.

"Ginny, there is no us," He sighed.

"Can't there be? You're lonely Harry, and we used to have fun together," She explained. "I can make you happy."

"Ginny, I'm doing fine on my own. I'm not looking for a relationship, and without seeming rude, I don't want one with you, ever."

She looked as if she might cry. "H-How could you say that?! I thought you loved me?"

"I do Ginny; I'm just not in love with you," He hoped she understood where he was coming from.

"Why? What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing, you'll make some other man happy," He smiled at her reassuringly. "I'm just not attracted to you Ginny, I don't really fancy myself liking women anymore."

"What?" She stepped closer to him. "Is this because of that slimy git?"

Harry's mouth opened in shock. "H-How did you...excuse me?"

"I followed you at the anniversary ball, and to my surprise, I see you two doing some very questionable things in the Forbidden Forest. How could you?!" With a swift stomp, she crushed his toes into the ground and stormed off.

"OW!" Harry hopped on one foot and glared at her fading form. What the hell just happened?

There was a flash of a camera and Harry's eyes widened. "Merlin's beard," He quickly headed inside away from the prodding eyes of the press. I need to find Severus.

Harry went into the ballroom and smiled Hermione's way where she happily danced with Lucius. Severus was nowhere in sight but out the corner of his eye he spotted the quick movement of a black figure. He hurried after him and called out his name, but he continued up the stairs.

"Severus!" They came to a stop in a far away hall and Severus turned to look at him blankly. "I need to talk to you-"

"I do not wish to talk to you."

"Not this again. Please, can we sit down and talk about...us," Harry stepped closer but Severus took a long stride back. He could see his walls falling back into place around him, does he not trust me?

Severus chuckled. "Potter, when did I ever give you the impression there was an us?"

"Do you send everyone you know presents on their birthday? Especially ones with a meaning?" He retorted with tight fists. "This is stupid, I don't want to argue over something so pointless."

"I'm merely speaking facts Potter, I cannot help if it offends you," His tone resembled that of when he was a professor. Harry didn't like it one bit, and he tried his best to control the anger threatening to burst out.

"What offends me is that you won't acknowledge what has happened between us?" Harry shouted his cheeks turning red. "I may not know you as much as I want to, but I know for a fact that you don't go around giving your ex-students blowjobs in bathrooms, or snogging the senseless in dark passageways!"

His words seemed to anger Severus, and Harry saw the fire flare in his eyes. "It meant nothing to me, Potter!" He charged forward and pulled him close by the front of his robes.

Their eyes met in a battle of heat, each of them trying to scold the other to make their point. There was a part of him that wished Severus would just kiss him, but this was a real argument, not something a simple snog would solve.

"How could you say that it meant nothing to you?" His breathing hitched in the back of his throat. "Do I mean anything to you?"

"No," Severus shook him slightly and continued to glare down at him. They were so close that Harry could almost kiss him, but he knew that Severus would throw him against the wall and hex him if he tried to. "I don't care about you."

His eyes betrayed him as he became focused on Harry's lips, and a softness fluttered across his face, but his cold persona soon masked it.

"Well, I care about you," Harry whispered.

"I'll enjoy telling people how I got to reject the feelings of Potter himself."

"Stop calling me Potter," He spoke through gritted teeth. A smug smile grew on Severus' face and Harry closed his eyes for a few seconds to compose himself.

"You remind me of your mother, so I decided to see what it would be like."

"Stop it," Harry growled.

"It's the truth, you have her eyes and I couldn't resist."

"Shut up!" Harry slammed his hands against his chest causing him to stagger back a little. "Why would you say that?!"

Severus mocked him with a tilt of his head, there was no compassion on his face, no sign of him ever caring, and it was breaking Harry's heart. He's doing it on purpose.

"You can admit you're afraid," Harry said. "I understand that you don't trust a lot of people, but I'm not going to hurt you-"

"I've told you many times not to flatter yourself, Potter," He chuckled deeply. "Do not believe for one second that you have any kind of hold over me."

"That's not what I meant!"

"I am done talking to you," Severus turned around and Harry grabbed his wrist in an attempt to stop him. He pulled away violently, jolting Harry forward a little. "Do not touch me."

"I-I don't understand? What's wrong?" Harry swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to stop tears from forming in his eyes. "If this is about Ginny-"

"Potter, I'm done with this," He growled. "Please refrain from talking to me if we ever cross paths again."

Severus turned one last time and Harry let him disappear down the corridor. He followed him with blurry eyes, then fled down the opposite end of the hall and down the stairs. Cameras started flashing and a wave of questions entered his ears.

"Is it true that you cheated on Ginny Weasley?"

"How long have you and Professor Snape been having an affair?"

"When did he start taking advantage of you? Were you still his student at the time?"

Harry couldn't breathe properly. He forced his way through the forming crowd; he heard the distant shouts coming from Hermione, but when the door was in sight, he ran outside and apparated into the garden of Grimmauld Place.

...

The steam from his mug started to fog his glasses, but Harry continued to stare blankly at the newspaper. In big bold letters it said:

Ex-Death Eater, Severus Snape, has tainted our precious hero Harry Potter.

None of it was true, yet, Harry didn't care anymore.

I'm done trying.

Severus could go and rot in hell for all he cared. Harry kept repeating last night's argument over and over again in his mind. The more he thought over it, the more he started to hate Severus for what he'd done to him these past two years.

He couldn't believe they'd been at it for two years to begin with. Even though they rarely saw each other throughout the years, he still felt like an immense bond had been torn to shreds.

Ginny was behind all this and Harry couldn't find it within himself to be angry at her. She still had feelings for him, so she lashed out when he rejected her. It wasn't the right thing to do, but once again, Harry found himself not caring.

Maybe I'm making a big deal out of this...it wasn't like Severus was ready to make a commitment. Harry hated that he'd got the wrong end of the stick, he hadn't been expecting some huge confession from him, just a sign that it meant as much to Severus as it did to him.

Harry had never fooled around or had a one night stand. There had only been Ginny, and now Severus; he would choose Severus again in a heartbeat. Perhaps I clung to the idea of him because I felt lonely and bored?

"Harry?" The kitchen door creaked open and a sad Hermione wandered in and took a seat opposite him. "Harry, why didn't you tell me?" She didn't sound angry, just disappointed.

He took off his glasses and rubbed his tired eyes. "There's nothing to tell anymore," His throat was dry, so he sipped his warm tea. "We were just fooling around," He hissed under his breath.

"Yes, because your face looks exactly how one's should after parting ways with someone they were just fooling around with," She replied sarcastically. "What happened?"

"He's such a...git!" He buried his fingers in his hair and stared at the newspaper. "I thought that he at least cared about me, but I seem to have deluded myself somehow. Two years have been wasted and I know we didn't see a lot of each other but things were pretty intense between us...but, there was never an us apparently."

Hermione sighed. "He's an idiot."

"I know that, but so am I," Harry rubbed his hands over his face then settled for tapping his fingers against the table. "I was getting involved with Snape, so of course he would be cruel…"

"Do you care for him?" She asked and Harry nodded.

"I wish I didn't though; he said some awful things to me last night, I cannot forgive him for it—he compared me to my mother!"

"Sort your life out then," Hermione said carefully. "Prove him wrong by becoming the best version of yourself. Snape isn't worth getting yourself so upset about, just think about what's out there for you to discover—maybe if Snape was a different type of person, things would've gone more smoothly, but he's not. The only thing you need to do is be yourself."

Harry stared at her for a while then nodded his head. "You're right...I need to change and move on with my life."

"Your feelings towards Snape were never wrong so don't ever think that; it was just unfortunate that you cared for a man who couldn't handle your emotions with care. I'll be here to support you and so will Ron."

"Ron?"

"He was the one who woke me up waving the paper in my face. Lucius almost hexed him into next week, thankfully, he had been holding Erin at the time and her cries made him pause," She explained and Harry smiled a little.

"Did you forget to close the floo?"

"Yes," She muttered. "Lucius is already trying to get me to move into the manor with him, so he can stop unwanted pests from entering my flat freely."

"Does he really make you happy?" Harry asked suddenly.

"I'm afraid so," She chuckled. "I'm just as surprised as you; never in a million years would I have put me and him together, but we work."

"I'm happy for you," He reached over to grab her hand and gave it a squeeze. "Thank you for giving me advice."

"I'm always going to be here for you," She got to her feet and brushed the front of her clothes. "Now, I will only allow you one day to brood, because tomorrow Ron and I will be coming over to whip you into shape. Understand?"

Harry laughed. "I understand."