(WARNING: THIS STORY IS AN ANGST AND IT INCLUDES MENTIONS OF PROFANITY, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND MENTAL DISORDERS. IF YOU ARE SQUEAMISH OR EASILY TRIGGERED, I DON'T RECOMMEND THIS TO YOU. HOWEVER, IF YOU'RE OKAY WITH THIS, PLEASE ENJOY THIS AND FOLLOW ME TO READ MORE!)

Fears.

Everyone has them. Spiders, heights, closed spaces..

Even the worst people to exist have fears.

Although everyone at my school view me as a crybaby, there is only one actual fear I have. One that no one seems to understand.

My dad.

No one knows about this, but he has a very bad temper and he gets really violent whenever someone makes him angry. Usually, I'm the one who misleadingly pushes his buttons and he takes his anger out on me. This is the reason why I always get 'grounded' and why he and my mom are so strict. I used to come to school in bruises, but my friends only think I'm clumsy. I have to tell them that or else my dad will get angry at me for telling them the truth.

Basically, my life is a living nightmare and it's the reason why I cry myself to sleep every night. This is why everyone thinks I'm such a coward. But I always try to tell them that it's not my fault and I can't help my emotions. But, they would never listen to me.

"Ugh, shut the hell up, Butters. No one cares about how you feel! You're such a pussy!" That's what Eric would always say.

I would like to believe that Eric was my friend, but he doesn't exactly treat me like one. He uses me for one of his weird plans and I end up hurting myself in the process. I tend to keep my distance from him.

As for the rest of my friends, they just shrug it off and tell me to 'grow some balls and man up'.

I really do wish I could explain to them the mental damage my dad has done to me over the years, but I fear that he'll come after me.

However, there is at least one person who actually knows what's going on with me.

Kenny.

He wasn't really known as one of the nice kids due to his perverted nature, but he told me once that he notices the bruises and he knew that I didn't get a black eye from 'falling down the stairs'. Everyone always said that he was one of the weird kids due to his family being extremely poor and dysfunctional. I never listen to what they say because I know for a fact that under that orange parka, there's a very nice, caring blonde-haired boy who wears a toothy grin on his face through all the rough patches. We weren't always close, but we've had a couple of adventures together. Some were good, some turned out bad.

Whenever he found me crying under the bleachers after gym class, he would always tell me, "It's going to be okay. You're not alone. None of this is your fault. I'm here for you, Butters."

I really didn't deserve to have such a caring friend like him in my life. He had it much worse than I did and I felt so much remorse for him. All the kids constantly make fun of him because his parents were abusive and they were drug addicts. I even felt sympathy for his siblings as well, especially his younger sister. I could tell that Kenny cared deeply for Karen and he would tell me that he'd be the one to protec her from their father at night. I understood that, though. After all, she was only seven. What I meant was, Kenny does not deserve this kind of lifestyle at all. He deserves a loving family and a good home. I would always tell him that and he would just shrug it off and say he was okay with it.

But deep down inside, I knew he wasn't.

(Hello, guys! I hope you liked Chapter One so far!)

(I will update this story whenever I can!)

(Due to exams being next week, I won't be as active. But, winter break is coming, so I will be updating!)

(Enjoy your day! - Kayden )