You intermittently glanced at the twins as you pushed through your breakfast. Once you finished and set the bowl aside, you could feel the twins, Popola especially, dread the coming moments. You sighed and rolled your shoulders.

"Alright, Devola. What was it that you wanted to tell me?"

"...Let's start with the innocuous points first. Your burn healed quickly partially because we used a somewhat new mix for the cream. We only used things we tested before, but the mix itself is new."

You raised an eyebrow. "Look, I know you've got other things to break to me, but how was this something that you're worried about?"

"We-" Popola flinched as Devola paused, "we gave you an injection."

"Yeah? You did so some- ...You're not talking about that one time, are you?"

"No, we made a second injection while you were sleeping."

Popola jumped in, barely leaving a moment after Devola spoke. "We were worried about this whole situation! We didn't want to risk things after your excursion."

You stared at Popola. "And this suddenly makes injecting me with… something okay?"

"It was just medicine," Devola tried to soften the impact, "but I noticed something... odd about our most recent tests."

"When did you run-?"

"When Naravelia brought you to us, after they tried introducing you. We gathered a few samples, since Popola thought something didn't add up."

You blinked a few times. "What did you find?"

"We can't completely explain what's going on, but near as we can tell, you've absorbed some of the latent maso in your environment and-"

"Wait, wait, wait. What's 'maso'?"

The twins suddenly paused, mulling over your question like you did when they asked you what nighttime was like, as if they were struggling to explain some fundamental thing everyone just knew.

"It's… some kind of force mediator," Popola began, "but it's been seen doing extremely odd things. No one can really give an explanation as to just what it does at the fundamental level."

"But that hasn't stopped people from using it anyway," Devola continued, "Resistance androids utilize it for various functions, but YoRHa androids practically run off of it. Conjuring ammunition, creating shields, introducing uncertainty of their own locations making perfectly-aimed attacks miss, repairing themselves..."

"Huh," you mused, "kinda sounds like magic..." The realization slowly dawned on you. "Am- am I understanding this right? Have I-"

"Don't get too enthusiastic, Theo," Popola cautioned, "you probably don't have any method of controlling what happens to the maso that you do absorb. You're lucky that what you've already absorbed has helped heal you instead of, say, making your wounds worse."

A tinge of fear solidified on your spine, and you did your best to hold it at bay as you asked your next question. "But why have I been absorbing this.. maso? Last I checked- which, granted, has been some time- I was just a regular human, and we tend to not deal with magic."

"You would be right, Theo, if you…" she swallowed, "if you were a regular human."

"Pardon?"

"Do you remember when we talked to you about some of the major events that happened with Project Gestalt?"

You blinked in disbelief and your voice came out a faint whisper. "I was separated, body and soul?" You stopped yourself and shook your head. "No, you said that everyone was put back together. Did something go wrong?"

"Yes," Devola responded, "something did go wrong. Popola and I had our theories as to what happened with you, and we think we now know. We think that once Project Gestalt finished, they reunited the bodies and souls… and apparently couldn't find your body."

"Then what am I? Just a soul without a body?!" You could feel your voice raising, but could do little to stop it.

"Technically," Popola interjected, "yes. But they did the next best thing- setting you inside an android chassis."

"What?!" You leapt to your feet. "That doesn't- What are you- But this can't-"

Your stammering was interrupted by a set of heavy footsteps thundering up the stairs. Even the twins stopped trying to calm you down, opting instead to find out just who was potentially ruining the staircase.

The door to your room flew open, and you scrambled backwards onto the bed to avoid the body unceremoniously thrown face-down into the room. The thrower slowly strode into the room, a tall android who wore black boots, gloves, tie, and a short skirt, but a white blouse. In one hand, she held a suitcase (which by all rights should have outweighed her twice over) threateningly, pressing it into the unfortunate man's back as he tried picking himself up.

You tried looking at the other interloper in your room, but to your surprise and fear, you couldn't make out a single detail about them, aside from that they were male. You didn't know if he kept changing, or if you weren't really remembering what he was supposed to look like from moment to moment.

I guess I should stop referring to myself in the third person.

"Hey," I meekly muster to you with a brief wave before getting knocked flat again.

"Stop. You've caused enough problems today." The tall woman glared past her suitcase at me, daring me to get up again.

"Who are you?" You asked, not directing at either intruder in particular.

"Accord," the standing android quickly replied, "and I'm going to answer your next question- I've brought the author here to stop for his reckoning."

I gave an uneasy laugh, "Hey, look, I can answer for-"

"Wait," Devola interrupted, "you're the author?"

"Are you the one writing these terrible scripts for us?" Popola stood up, furious. "You can't even write us in-character!"

"Scripts?" You didn't understand what was happening, "What are you-?"

"Look," I tried to respond, "if you'd just give me a moment-"

"You've threatened the metanarrative of this entire work, not to mention irreparably damaged the SoD fields by releasing this chapter," Accord cut me off again, "How could you even begin to think that there might be some answer to this?"

"It's April Fools Day! I thought I could just slip a small chapter in, and just move it over to the Side Stories a day later!" A moment of silence rang through the room. "It was just supposed to be something quick! It wasn't supposed to get out of hand like this!"

Accord pressed the suitcase further down. "You'll be rewriting this tomorrow. First. Thing."

"I will, I will! I'll put a disclaimer and everything!"

You stared at the scene before you. "...What the **** is going on?"

Accord-mandated disclaimer: This is an April Fool's Day chapter. It is not cannon in any way.