"You should go home," she murmurs from her hospital bed, watching him stretch from the chair he's standing on to string the lights across the length of her windows. He's going to fall, hurt himself, and end up in a hospital room of his own with no one to decorate. Kate sighs, expelling the breath slowly. She has two bullet wounds in her chest, one between her breasts, the other just a little higher, closer to her shoulder. Breathing hurts. "Rick, it's Christmas Eve."

"Exactly," he grins back at her, hooking the last of the twinkling lights over the edge of the window's blinds. It's only been a few hours since she fell into a heavily medicated sleep with him right beside her, anchoring her, barely thirty minutes since she woke to a Christmas tree in the corner of her room and a Santa hat on her IV pole.

"Castle. Alexis," she reminds him, earning an intrigued spark in his gaze.

"Worried I won't be home in time to decorate?" he inquires, lighthearted but inquisitive. "You mentioned getting home to decorate with her before you passed out in the park."

She wets her lips, chapped and aching. "Dream. Dreamed that Alexis was living in LA, with Meredith-"

"A nightmare," Castle corrects on a mutter, stepping down from the chair and back to admire his handiwork.

"She was going to leave, but you convinced her to stay for Christmas, hopefully for longer. But we'd never met," she adds a little quieter, watching his head swivel over his shoulder to see her.

"You and me?" he asks and she frowns in response. She hasn't stopped wondering what's going to happen to the other Castle, but Bracken is dead in that world too, the threat neutralized in every universe - that they know of - and he's safe. He'll either move on or find another version of her that will hopefully let him love her with less of a fight, he'll mend his relationship with his Alexis, and he'll be okay.

He'll be okay.

"Never met," she confirms, swallowing around the lump in her throat. "We never worked together, you never wrote Nikki Heat, it - was all wrong."

"Kinda like A Wonderful Life," he muses softly, approaching her bedside and descending to his chair next to her. "Life would suck without you, Beckett."

His lips quirk but hers fail to lift from their frown.

"I wasn't with you for two years," she whispers, lowering her eyes to fixate on the top button of his shirt, a rich forest green fabric Alexis must have brought for him to change into. "In this world."

"Kate," he murmurs, draping his warm palm at her forearm. She wants to huff in frustration, reach for his hand and twine it through hers, but moving her arm would set off a chain reaction of agony through her body and she can't bear any more. "I don't know how much of our conversation you remember before you were shot-"

"All of it," she assures him, returning her gaze to lock with his. "I meant all of it."

The corners of his mouth curl with affection and he ducks his head just slightly, uncharacteristically bashful. Cute.

"Good, but you told me to stop with the 'what if's," he murmurs, rubbing his thumb to the inside of her wrist, around the scallop of bone. "We have regrets, but if I can have you now..." He shakes his head and meets her eyes, his a brighter blue than she's ever seen, looking so damn happy. "Forget the rest, Kate. I just want you."

He lifts from the chair to crouch over her, kiss her forehead. She tilts her chin, careful not to make any swift movements. The morphine only does so much for the pain that radiates stronger with every breath.

His lips land between her brows and he grins, bumping his nose to hers as he cradles her cheek in his hand, grazes another kiss to the corner of her eye.

"Castle," she mumbles, wanting his mouth on hers, warm and promising. "I-"

A knock on the door has her eyes reluctantly abandoning his to witness his daughter bustling through the doorway with two large, Christmas themed flower pots in her arms. The huge red poinsettias block her face until she cranes her neck over the petals, finds the both of them staring at her.

"Oh, hey guys," she chuckles, glancing nervously to her father. "I'm sorry, Kate. I thought you'd still be asleep."

She's almost surprised by the welcome sight of Alexis's fiery red hair.

"No, I'm glad you're here," she breathes, watching Alexis blink, her already red cheeks softening to a rosy pink.

"Yeah?" Alexis asks, shuffling the rest of the way inside and placing the poinsettias to a spare spot on the table that isn't filled with crowds of other bouquets that she's told came from the precinct.

"Kate's been worried about you missing out on the decorating," Castle muses, his fingers squeezing gently at her wrist before he slips away from the edge of her hospital bed.

He steps forward to tug his daughter into an embrace, tight and secure, and quickly returned by Alexis. He murmurs something against the top of her head before pressing a kiss there, making his daughter laugh, and Kate's heart further calms. She knew from the moment she woke, saw him, that she was back in her universe, but witnessing Castle and his daughter interacting with such ease only confirms it.

"Dad's definitely very efficient on his own when it comes to decorating," Alexis comments, casting her gaze across the room, her lips curling into a smirk. "The nurses must be thrilled."

"Oh, they are," Kate chuckles, trying not to openly wince at the spike of fire in her throat, trickling down to sear her sternum. Laughter is bad, so bad when you have a throat sore from a breathing tube and two bullet holes in your chest.

"Scrooges, all of them," Castle huffs, leaving his daughter's side to bend over an open box on the tiny sofa against the wall, rising with a bright red ornament dangling from his finger. "Want to help me decorate the tree, Pumpkin? Beckett can supervise."

"Your tree at home-" Kate starts, earning both Castles' attention, before pausing. She almost asks if they've finished decorating it, but here, in the real world, the Castle she knows would have his entire loft covered in Christmas decor the day after Thanksgiving. "I've never seen it."

"Oh, do you want to?" Alexis asks, digging in her coat pocket for her cellphone, tapping the screen while she approaches Kate's hospital bed. She holds out the device for Beckett to see and Kate's lips automatically split into a smile at the photo of Castle posing in front of a magnificent Christmas tree that ascends to the loft's ceiling.

"Wow, it's perfect," she grins, lifting her eyes to his daughter. She never forgot the girl's expression that day in the cemetery, when she caught Castle hanging back with Kate at the funeral, no doubt already aware of all the ways Kate was ripping his heart to shreds. So wary and worrisome, angry and exasperated.

She doesn't see a trace of that now. Only hope, well-tamed and kept at bay, but alive.

"Want to see the rest of the loft? You've never been there during Christmastime, have you?" Alexis asks, turning the phone back around, her index finger swiping quickly across the screen. "Dad and I go all out every year-"

"Don't ever let that change," Kate murmurs and Alexis eyes flicker back to hers. A question is forming on her lips while Castle's curiosity blooms in the background, and Kate is quick to explain. "Your traditions, I mean. They're special."

Alexis's mouth softens into a smile. "Yeah, they are. But Dad and I... we could always add another tradition to the mix." She meets Kate's eyes from beneath her lashes, delicately assessing how far she can push, gauging where Kate stands. How serious she is about Alexis's father. "If that was something you wanted to be a part of."

"Alexis," Castle murmurs at her back, his tone an octave higher, but Kate holds his daughter's gaze.

"I'd love that."

Whatever test Alexis is not so subtly attempting to perform with Kate, his partner seems to pass.

His daughter takes a seat on the very edge of Beckett's hospital bed, scrolling through photo after photo. At first, it's just the loft during Christmas time, but then it's Christmases past, family photos, including a few goofy ones that have his ears turning red - Rick building a snowman and a few of him dressed up as Santa. Intimate glimpses of his life that he never planned to share with Kate. He didn't think she'd ever care to see.

But Kate's smile is bright, her cheeks swelling with every new picture.

"Aww, Castle, you were so cute back then," she grins, adoration she's never allowed him to witness before spilling through her features.

"Back then?" he huffs, abandoning what has become a solo task of decorating the Christmas tree he hauled into her room at daybreak and craning his neck over Alexis's shoulder to view the photo she's sharing. It's him in the damn Santa suit Beckett's never going to let him live down, cradling his baby daughter to his chest, taken by his mother no doubt. The corner of his mouth twitches, but he hides it in favor of a groan. "Pumpkin, how do you have so many photos on your phone?"

"I keep them all on a drive I can access online," she says smugly.

"Just wait until Kate really does come over. I'm showing her those pictures I have of you dressed as an Elf on a Shelf," he smirks, earning the halfhearted smack of her hand to his hip.

"Kate doesn't need to see..." Alexis's sentence trails as she glances to her side, Beckett's face turned towards them, but her eyes closed. "It's good for her, to sleep, right?"

"Very good," Castle murmurs, watching his daughter slip from the edge of Kate's hospital bed.

"How bad is it? The damage from the bullets?" Alexis inquires, her gaze remaining on Kate, the bandages they can both see peeking out from the loose collar of her hospital gown. "Can she even have anything for Christmas? Like hot chocolate or cookies? Christmas dinner?"

"I... I don't know," he murmurs, frowning. "So far, she's been surviving on ice chips and the smoothie the doctor let me grab for her during lunch. I can ask, though."

"Maybe we could still make our Christmas dinner and have it here," Alexis suggests, turning to him with the spark of a bright idea in her eyes. "And we could make enough to share with the whole hospital, for anyone stuck here on Christmas. I mean, it's kinda like what we do for the homeless shelter every year the day after Christmas, right?"

"Yeah, actually," he nods, his heart clenching with pride for his little girl, with relief. He understood her, her reasons, but wouldn't have been able to handle her holding onto past resentments for Kate, especially not now. But it isn't bitterness his daughter has been treating Kate with for the last hour, it's been warmth, compassion, kindness - all of Alexis's best traits. "That sounds perfect, but are you okay with that? Spending your Christmas here?"

"It's where you'll be," she points out, but there isn't resentment for him, his loyalty to Kate, either.

"Yeah, but if you-"

"Dad, Kate was nearly killed last night," she murmurs, some of the joy in her eyes succumbing to the truth of their harrowing reality. "It's a - well, kind of a Christmas miracle that she's alive after something like that."

His throat thickens with the reality of that.

"Yeah, it is," he confirms, his eyes drifting back to the woman in the hospital bed. Pale and weak and beautifully alive. "Christmas miracle."

"I'd never ask you to spend Christmas at home while she's here alone and like I said, new traditions," she shrugs. "And you know Gram will come too, plus-" Alexis's words are cut short as Castle bands his arms around her, smothers her in an embrace. She huffs, but hugs him back. "Dad-"

"You're a really good kid," he mumbles into her hair.

"You raised me well," she sighs, pressing her cheek to his shoulder before pulling away. "But if we're going to have a huge Christmas feast here, I need to go buy more ingredients."

"Here," Castle pats his coat pocket. "Take my credit-"

"Already got it," she grins, rising on her toes to drop a quick kiss to his cheek. "And check with Kate's doctor about what she's allowed to eat and drink. I'll make an extra thermos of my famous hot chocolate just in case."

"Will do, Pumpkin." He watches his daughter stride out of the hospital room with purpose, red hair flying behind her.

It really must have been a nightmare if Kate was dreaming about he and Alexis being so severely at odds that she chose to live in LA with Meredith over him. Then again, if the tension between them would have grown any further, maybe it wouldn't have been too far off of an idea.

He shudders at the thought, Alexis being so far away and distant. What a sorrowful life, to lose his daughter and never have Kate either, to never even know her.

It isn't a reality he would survive.

"Good kid," Kate echoes, startling him out of his thoughts. Castle spins around to see her watching him through slit lids. "Sorry."

"You were awake?" he chuckles, drifting to her bedside. She makes a noise in her throat before he sits down in his chair, tapping her fingers to the strip of space beside her.

He hesitates and she narrows her gaze on him until he relents.

"I don't want to hurt you," he mutters, lowering oh so carefully to the very edge of the bed. She rolls her eyes. "Hey, I'm not tiny like Alexis-"

"Then move me over a little," she says, receiving a look of horror in response.

"Kate, I'm trying not to hurt you-"

"I want you," she growls, satisfaction blooming through her stomach at his raised eyebrows. "We were finally... close, but then Bracken showed up and I had that - that dream and I've missed you."

"Okay, okay," he breathes, rising from the bed with hands hovering at her side. "But if it hurts too much, if I do anything-"

"I'll tell you," she assures him, inhaling a slow breath and gritting her teeth before he slips his hands below her shoulder and her thigh. He slides her over just slightly, an inch in a second, but the fiery agony that sputters and pops through her chest carries the punishment of a mile.

"Too much?" he whispers, but her eyes are squeezed shut, the air rushing down her throat to replenish her lungs of their stolen breath.

"Just give me a second," she exhales, feeling him take a gentle seat on the edge once more. "I hate this."

"I hate seeing it," he admits, stroking a fingertip over the white knuckles of her fist. She unfurls them at his touch, hooks one of her fingers through his. "Kinda hate that we won't get to make out again for a while too."

She laughs and groans, squeezing the finger knotted with hers. "Don't remind me and don't make me laugh. Hurts."

"Don't remind you, huh?" he grins, watching her when she opens her eyes. She can't lift her arms past her waist yet, can't touch his face with her hands like she wants to, but she can tug on his hand, drop her gaze to the space beside her.

"Slide in," she murmurs, relaxing back against the elevated head of her hospital bed. He's careful, every move measured, but then he's nestling into the hospital bed beside her, his body aligning alongside hers. She hums, relishing the warmth of him against her, and lowers her cheek to his shoulder. "And it's been four years, so yeah, don't remind me."

He chuckles, his chin brushing her forehead as he whispers his lips along her hair. "It'll be worth the wait."

"Mm, never doubted that."

A gasp escapes, ruffling the oily strands of her hair that are likely in desperate need of a wash. But she can only smile into his shirt, rest her cheek a little heavier against him.

"So you did think about it."

She scoffs, not as much snark as she would like in the sound, but her throat will only allow her so much leverage. "Like you didn't."

"Oh, all the time," he answers without hesitation and she has to bite her lip to keep the giddiness bubbling in her chest in check. "Seriously, from the moment we met to the moment we ran into each other outside my book party."

"You looked good," she muses, flexing her fingers to lace them through the spaces between his. "Beautiful man."

"Kate," he mumbles her name around a stuttered breath, not expecting that and branding her crown with the heat of her name.

She unseals her cheek from his shoulder, propping her chin to the rounded edge of his bone instead. His ears are pink and she grins, delighted by the fact that she can make Richard Castle blush.

"I'm still mourning the dress," he murmurs. She has to think for a moment, remember what he's talking about, and - oh, her dress. She knows it has to be ruined, devastated by bloodstains, but she has no idea where her personal belongings are. She woke up in this bed and a hospital gown twenty-four hours ago and she hasn't asked nearly enough questions.

She's been too caught up in the relief of being home.

"What happened to it?"

"I was told they had to cut it off of you," he sighs, definitely mournful. "I never even got to see it."

"You'll see the next one," she murmurs, smirking as he arches his brow at her. "You can be the one to cut it off too."

"Kate Beckett," he gasps, but the laughter is spilling from the corners of his mouth, his eyes bright with it. "Pain medication brings out the best in your dirty mind."

"Late Christmas gift," she teases, but Castle's eyes are shifting to a serious shade of blue, saying too much without saying anything at all.

"My Christmas gift was you showing up to my book party," he murmurs, his thumb stroking back and forth along the inside of her wrist, over her quickening pulse. "It was you telling me you wanted me."

"I love you," she whispers, feeling his breath leave his lungs. Hers should do the same, her heart should pound and her palms should sweat, but there's no fear in the realization of loving him anymore. It's just true, a beautiful truth that soothes the angry fire licking along her ribcage and charring the remains of her chest. "I love you and I'll always come back to you."

She expects a furrowed brow, a question on his lips, but regardless of the fact that he's not aware of the full context, the words don't faze him. They hold true without it, whether she's traveling through an alternate reality or letting him go on a sunny day in a cemetery, running away from what she wants or finally succumbing to it, the result will always be the same.

She loves him and she'll always find her way home.

"You - yeah?" he breathes, his eyes alight with love and Christmas lights, and Kate quirks her brow.

"Not the response I was hoping-"

Castle quiets her with the press of his lips, tender and slow over hers, caressing. Her heart does beat a little harder then.

"You know I love you back," he mumbles against her mouth, the hand not tangled with hers rising to cradle her jaw. "Never stopped loving you, Kate."

A/N: I realize there are still a lot of unanswered questions in this story, but they won't remain that way for long. Keep an eye out for a brief sequel coming soon.

In the meantime, I'm wishing the most magical of Christmases and happiest holidays to all who celebrate and again, thank you so much for reading.