This has been in the drafts folder for some time. I have no hopes of ever finishing this one, like the rest of my poor fics, but I wanted to see what you guys thought of this kind of plot. (I just can't help myself. When I have to write, I have to write. Even when I have like four major exams tomorrow and three papers pending. Ha.)

I do so love em yanderes.

The Wrong Person to Reincarnate

She was entirely the wrong person to put the fate of the whole multiverse in. Seriously. Not just because she is unhinged in ways that make even Belphegor seem sort of normal. Not just because she has yandere tendencies that make Yuno seem like a regular, sweet gal.

It's because, well, she really is the wrong person to reincarnate as Dino Cavallone's sister in order to help the future Vongola Decimo grow into his role. The powers that be mistook her for her twin sister. So, yeah, as I keep saying, she really was the wrong person to be put in KHR universe. But she's here fuckers. And she's here to stay.

I firmly believe in Behaviorism. I'm the product of my environment. I'm as bad as I am because the world made me this way.

I'm vain, selfish, manipulative, covetous. And I blame that on my parents and teachers and "friends".

And most of all, I blame it on my sister.

Most people come to the world all alone...I didn't. And this was a curse I would bore until the end of my short life.

Or maybe it's the other way around. Maybe I'm the curse my poor sister had to bear with for the rest of her life.

Maybe we were cursed with each other.

Whatever the case may be, I can say for certain being a twin-and watching way too many anime-has fucked me up for life.

I said bad things. I thought bad thoughts. I did bad things.

And so when I died, at the young age of nineteen, I didn't expect to be...

Well, reincarnated. Put in another world with a big, fat cheat.

I was reincarnated with my memories intact, in a world that I know plenty about. It's past and future not the least of those.

I was put in the world of my greatest love.

Lord must really love sinners.

This was going to be a fucking blast.

...Or so I thought.

Until I came into consciousness inside my mother's womb, in the process of being pushed out.

Boy, was it gross.

I will not recount the details here. I am bad, but I'm not THAT bad. Gore will probably come sooner or later in this story, knowing me, but I will grant you this small mercy.

Anyway, it was a traumatic incident...being born fully conscious of it, but I came out relatively fine. Getting my umbilical cord cut hurt like a son of a bitch though. And I wailed like a baby whale because of it.

The doctors took this as a good sign, my lungs being fully developed. My father rejoiced.

"Excellent, excellent," he kept repeating. "Excellent."

He had a deep, rough voice. I was fairly certain he was a smoker despite the fact that I was technically blind still. That thing they say about babies having bad eyesight was unfortunately accurate. I knew he was my father because the doctors called him "Dad" plenty of times. Also, he was the first person to take me in his arms after I was cleaned and swaddled in a shitload of blankets.

He cooed at me, which was weird because he had such a deep voice. Yet it was kind of calming. Somehow I could feel that this person truly cared for the daughter he spawned.

Poor guy.

The course of my reincarnation was spotty at best. It took me until I was four years old before I could truly process that I was reborn into the world of one of the anime I loved in my past world. Sure I was conscious from before I was born, and I had memories of "before", and I was maybe more intelligent than most babies out there, but...

How do I explain this. It was kind of like my memories were kept in a zip file in my brain. They were definitely there, and I could maybe access them easily enough, but my mind was not sophisticated enough to open the file and convert them into something my young brain could understand fully.

I knew that I was different. I knew that I was from somewhere else. I looked closely into the actions of my parents, waiting for...something. And I studied my brother more closely than an infant or a toddler would. But until I was four, I didn't really know what any of these meant.

Then I was four, and I realized I had memories of a whole other me who died and went to this place where she met a...something that took her soul and put it in another vessel without altering anything, as was the rule.

I used to be Minerva...something. Daughter of someone else. Twin sister of a saint. An all around bad person.

Now I was Diana Cavallone. Daughter of a mob boss. Sister of Dino Cavallone, a wimpy boy who would one day turn out not so bad. Presently four years old and remembering.

As I lay in my huge, cloudy bed, listening to the sound of my mother telling the gory version of Cinderella, I looked to my life before and wondered what was happening there now.

But I stopped that train of thought rather fast.

That world was the past. It didn't matter anymore.

My time was best spent planning how I was going to play around with this world.

Because, surely this was why I'm here for?

I was a bit distracted by growing up, but by year five I was able to come up with a rough list of things I wanted to achieve in this world.

Firstly, I wanted to marry Kyoya. Surely anyone in my position would want that. I was logical enough to acknowledge that this would not be an easy endeavor. Hibari Kyoya was Hibari Kyoya for a reason after all. But I was still only five, so I figured I had time to win his heart yet.

Second in the list of what I want was to find Byakuran and do away with him. He really was an interesting character to watch, but now that I'm here I figured the world has reached its quota on psychotic beings.

Thirdly, I wanted to be stronger. I must find a way to be as strong as strong could be in this world. Items one and two would be moot otherwise. The things I want to didn't necessarily have to be done in order. I was still only five, though I felt like I wasted the past year acting too much like a regular toddler while remembering every detail I could about my life before.

I had time to do numbers five and six, those being meeting Timoteo and going to Disneyland, respectively.

Seventh on the list was getting control of the flame boxes and rings. I wanted to be rich, and this in my mind was the best way to do it. Being a hitman for hire was not a bad idea, except I was five and not exactly like Reborn. (I didn't consider investing in snapchat, which was probably stupid and utterly mafioso like of me, but in my defense I didn't have a single bone in my body interested in stocks and bonds. Besides, KHR dudes never used phones, unless the phone is Leon as far as I remember.)

Number eight was, hmm. I frowned on the piece of paper lined in wide reds and blues. One, two, three...ah. I skipped number four. Nevermind. I decided to let that go. Number four got old, like, last year. Anyway, eighth was to infiltrate the Varia. I liked Squalo so very much, and I shipped him with Takeshi so hard. I wanted to see if I could make that pairing possible in this world, though I would probably need to get cut-proof clothes before that happened.

Tenth was to get Dino a girlfriend so he wouldn't be hung up on my Kyoya for always. I know there wasn't any canon pairing determined, but Dino and Kyoya was entirely possible if the fuckers didn't stop publishing KHR. I wasn't willing to take that chance.

Eleventh, I would see to it that Kyoko was out of the picture. The bitch annoyed the shit out of me, reminding me too much of my now forgotten twin sister. Haru was the perfect candidate for Tsuna's wife in my opinion, because she was crazy in a nice way...which was weird, really. I was looking forward to possible love triangles with a certain silver haired bomber in the future.

Twelfth...I wanted to save Mukuro. Weird, that sounded not completely self-serving. But fear not, my motivation was completely selfish. Saving him would fuck with the timeline, and...would probably earn me a loyal servant. Cue evil laugh. Mukuro was not as cool as Tsuna in terms of strength, but his powers, and his lackeys, would be useful in a million different ways.

Thirteenth on my list was to meet the Shimon and stop their attack before it ever happened. Need to exorcise Daemon Spade for reals. It wasn't that I liked them or anything, it's just that that Adelheid girl getting close to my Kyoya irritated me. Also, while I really liked that scene where Kyoya jumped out of the copter, seeing him surrounded by hundreds of naked girls-and don't say they weren't naked, those boobs were disgusting and while they might have been made of freaking diamonds, they were still girls and no girl aside from me was allowed near my Kyoya.

Fourteenth was a new addition: murder Adelheid.

Fifteenth was to get Ipin and Lambo together. The little shits were so cute together I wrote about ten million fanfics on the pair of them in my old life. Though, of course, they always died in the end. (So I pretty much killed them ten million times.)

Nicholas Sparks once said, all love stories end in tragedy. The dude was an inspiring motherfucker. If I happened to find him in this world I would the strangle the shit right out of him.

And...I can't think of more to add. This list would grow someday because wants and needs are the only thing that's endless aside from pi. And the universe. Maybe. Whatever. Now I just had to find a way to make these happen.

... Five and six were the easiest things to achieve. And what do you know, they happened one right after the other.

We went to Disneyland a week before Christmas for the holiday. Dino, my parents, myself and my Dad's right hand, a surly boxer who went by the name Sunblock. At least, in my head. I didn't particularly care what his name was, since he wasn't even in canon, but his ultra wide frame made him an excellent shield against the sun so...

Disneyland wasn't quite as fun as I was led to believe. It was just an amusement park. Only bigger and cleaner and more expensive. But, meh. The only thing that salvaged the trip was the fact that father met with Vongola Nono in our last day, and introduced both Dino and I to the old man, who as it turned out wasn't quite as old as he was in canon. But then at this point in time Dino was only ten. Or was it twelve? I forgot.

Timoteo's hair was already mostly white, but there were many patches of black here and there. He was tall, too. He seemed more like a nice old man than a mob boss, which always struck me as weird even in canon. No one with the kind of power he wielded would remain sane and nice so he must have some kind of...secret.

And what do you know, I happen to love secrets.

It was easy to sneak around when you're young and cute in a place filled with the young and cute and their nannies. All I had to do was stay behind several unknowing parents and I was free to go around anywhere I wanted. Timoteo and my Dad-come to think of it, I still don't know his name and my mother's for that matter-were in one of the many conference rooms in the hotel we were staying at. I didn't know where they were precisely, but I figured if I looked into all the conference rooms I would stumble into them.

I didn't factor how big the hotel was to travel in my tiny five year old feet. Ten minutes into my stroll and I was panting. I really needed to exercise. But I figured I was young and cute so there must be a good soul around willing to help me. I started crying. It was easy enough to conjure tears. All I had to do was imagine my former sister dying and, voila! Happy tears.

I cried out, "Daddy, Daddy," in an obnoxiously loud voice until I had the attention of everyone in the floor. A hotel employee wearing a mickey mouse hat approached and asked me if I was lost. No shit, dude.

I told him in as much stutter as I was capable that, " couldn't f f in my d d daddy." He asked me what my Daddy's name was. Dude, I don't know. So I shook my head and said, "Timoteo. Conference Hall. Sniff."

The hotel dude paled and three minutes later I found myself inside the conference hall. I vastly underestimated the number of mafiosi in this meeting, however. I thought it was only Dad and Timoteo, but it turned to be something like a Mafia conference. A hundred pair of Mafia eyes stared at me. I did the only thing I could, I sniffled delicately.

"Who is this lovely child?" said the Ninth, smiling pleasantly.

My father visibly gulped. I could understand his tension considering no one in the room was looking remotely nice, except for Timoteo of course.

And for all his faults and foolishness, I could say my father this time did love me.

"My name is, um-" wait, what was my name again?

"Diane. She's my daughter, Ninth," my father came to the rescue. See? He's a good guy. No wonder he squandered all the Chiavarone's finances. He would make a bad businessman.

"Hmm," the older man nodded. He went up to me and patted me on the head. I noticed that the employee that came with me had vanished, but paid it no mind. Of course he was afraid. He must be a normal guy.

"Daddy, I'm sleepy," I said clambering into his lap with a fake-ass yawn. I'm telling you people, kids had the best opportunities to eavesdrop without getting caught.

"Eto, darling why don't you get-ah, she fell asleep."

Timoteo laughed. "What a precious child. Well then, let's not disturb her. What were we talking about again?"

A funny, croaking voice answered, "We were just discussing the Estraneo, Ninth. It has been suggested that they be eliminated courtesy of the issues with the Possession Bullet."

A loud hum of agreement sounded.

"I see. And what, if I may ask, makes this Possession Bullet so dangerous?"

"It is a bullet that allows the user to take full control over his opponent, and even be able to use their abilities," answered a mechanical voice. I tried to peek to see who the fuck was speaking, but unfortunately all I saw was the side of the table since my father was seated. "It is potentially useful, but in the wrong hands it also has potential to cause massive damage. And with the history of Estraneo, I think we can all agree they are the wrong hands for this bullets to fall to."

"I am under the understanding they made these bullets, yes?" clarified the Ninth.

"Yes, Sir."

"Has anyone brought evidence to support the accusations?"

"Well," started the same croaking voice that seems to be the spokesperson, "We've had them under surveillance for a while and the results have been..."

"Hmm?" prompted Timoteo.

"Well, frankly Sir. It was horrible." There was a sound of rummaging papers. "We've confirmed that they have been conducting experiments on children. Many of them are streetchildren, people no one really looks for-"

"Get on with it then," Timoteo said coldly. It felt like the whole room was swathed in ice all of a sudden, showing just how powerful this man was. His anger poured off him in waves. I had goosebumps and couldn't help but cuddle close to my father as a result.

The rest of the men felt it too.

Even more, when he added, "I want all of them dead by sundown."

Well.

He certainly sounded like a Mafia Boss then.

However, there was a niggling at the back of my head, saying this was a bad route.

Hmm. What was it?

Ah, yes.

The Estraneo was slaughtered, yes. But not all of them died, and the remaining members conducted an even worse set of experiments on Mukuro and the others.

Now, what should I do with this? I'm five, I don't think they'd listen to just whatever I said.

Do I even want to say anything?

I have to think this through. What's in it for me?

Mukuro...huh.

I guess I'll keep quiet for now. If Mukuro was going to be my servant, I need him to have his powers. And he wouldn't get his powers until he went through six phases of hell.

So for the meantime, I'll sleep.

Maybe I'll even dream of Hibari...

Whoo. Okay. Diane is a bitch haha.

Did you like it? Lol. Don't expect too much from me. I hate to admit it but I really am the worst kind of writer. I should really stick with oneshots.