CHAPTER THREE

The ensuing silence was painful. Buffy could only stare at Giles' shoes, her heart thumping in her chest. Giles crossed the room slowly, extending an arm. Buffy glanced up. She realized what he was holding; a navy blue bathrobe. He was holding a second for himself.

Buffy reached her hand out – embarrassed to realize it was shaking like a leaf. She took the robe with murmured thanks. It was soft. She tried to focus on the feel of it between her fingers.

"I've set up a privacy partition in the backroom. You can change there," Giles' voice was as soft as the robe in her hands. He extended an arm toward the door, bidding her go through it. She stood, letting her vertigo dissipate before crossing the room and stepping through the door.

The room was almost unrecognizable. Her training equipment was gone – the concrete floor had been covered instead in red silk sheets. They had some kind of pattern on them, but Buffy couldn't figure out what. Dotted across the floor were various statuettes of women; some held weapons in their hands, others clutched their wombs. All along the windowsill were lit candles. They gave off a faint floral aroma.

Buffy was equal parts impressed and terrified by Giles' efforts. She wasn't sure how much of this was required by the ritual, and how much was simply him trying to make her comfortable. As promised, there was a black privacy partition set up at the back of the room.

Buffy swallowed hard. It was all becoming too real.

"I'll stay out here. We can change at the same time."

She didn't turn to acknowledge him. She approached the partition, hugging the bunched-up robe to her chest. She stepped behind it, the weight of Giles' concerned gaze now momentarily lifted. Buffy's face contorted involuntarily – she let out a single, silent sob. She dropped the robe and placed her face in her hands. She quickly wiped any tears away, fighting to keep her breathing in check.

She changed swiftly and unthinkingly – if she stopped to consider her naked body, she might never emerge from behind the screen. Buffy often lamented that her Slayer strength and training resulted in a less-than-feminine body. She wasn't sure what Giles expected. Hell, she wasn't sure what she expected.

What do old men look like naked?

A thousand strange thoughts swimming around her mind, Buffy tied the robe tight and stepped out from behind the partition. Giles was already changed – his back was to her. He was fussing the some book or other. Buffy suspected he was just trying to give her a moment to adjust.

"Okay," her voice wavered. Giles turned slowly, his face careful. He beckoned her closer to him. She took several steps, each one requiring more courage than the last. Buffy tried her best to keep her face blank – or at the very least, not wide-eyed in terror.

They stood a few feet away from one another, neither one seeming to know how to proceed.

"I think perhaps we should both, erm. De-robe at the same time. Save any excess embarrassment."

Buffy nodded. With trembling fingers, she clumsily untied the robe. She clutched at it, holding it closed while she tried to steady her breathing. Giles held her gaze, his eyes warm and patient.

"Okay... On three?" Buffy hated how feeble her voice sounded.

"Whatever you'd like," his voice was calm, even. She wondered how he stayed so composed.

"Giles, are you- are you nervous?" Buffy felt stupid for even asking.

The corners of Giles' mouth twitched.

"Terrified."

"You don't look it."

He reached out a hand and placed it gently against her cheek. She could feel it. He was trembling, too.

"Oh."

A wave of unexpected courage swept through her at that moment. She nodded at him, signalling that she was ready. She heard him draw in a long breath through his nose.

"Okay. One... Two..."

Buffy peeled the robe off of her shoulders, letting it drop to her feet. The air in the room had a slight chill to it – she could feel the hairs on her arms standing on end. She tried to resist the urge to cover herself with her hands, but settled for clasping her palms together in front of her crotch. She peered down, realizing she had a patch of light-coloured hair that she had forgotten about.

She grimaced.

"Oh, God. I'm sorry, I hadn't even thought about doing anything-"

Giles placed both hands on her shoulders lightly. The contact made her skin prickle.

"Buffy, shh. It's alright. I promise you, I have no expectations."

Buffy slowly released the breath she had been holding, though she was still cringing a little. Giles gave the smallest hint of smile. She didn't think he had even looked down yet.

"Besides... I'm a little, uh. Old-fashioned," he eyed her carefully, gauging her reaction.

My Watcher just told me his pubic hair preferences. This is beyond weird.

She gave a small smirk. Giles returned it. They stood like that for a moment, their eyes locked. After a moment, Buffy slowly dropped her gaze, letting her eyes inch down the man in front of her.

Giles' shoulders were broad, his arms more well-muscled than she had anticipated. There was a small tuft of dark grey hair in the centre of his chest, as well as a smattering around his nipples. He had no visible abdominal muscles – like Angel or Riley – but he was in excellent shape for his age. Buffy wasn't sure what she had expected, but she was pleasantly surprised.

She glanced back up, intending to give him a compliment. He was no longer looking at her face. His eyes were raking themselves down her body. Buffy shivered, but did not attempt to cover herself.

"Buffy, you are..."

"I know. Bony and a little lopsided. I think the right is bigger than the lef-"

"No. No, Buffy. You are... Magnificent," Giles voice was as low as she'd ever heard it.

Her cheeks grew warm again. She exhaled, relieved.

"You're not so bad yourself."

"Oh. Thank you. Years of training you have kept me from becoming too much of a portly old man, fortunately."

"I guess you're welcome," Buffy joked.

Giles chuckled – an easy, light sound. It made Buffy happy to hear it.

"Now, Buffy. You'll see there are five points laid out on the ground. I need you to lie on your back, placing your head on the largest point, and your hands and feet on the smaller ones."

Buffy glanced down. He was right; there was a large white symbol painted onto the sheet on the ground. It was made up of lines and circles, and – Buffy realized – was roughly the same size as her. She cast another glance at Giles, who nodded once.

She knelt down, careful to try and retain some of her dignity, and placed her backside in the middle of the symbol. She peered behind her, trying to line up the back of her head with the largest circle. She lay herself down, exhaling loudly as she did so.

"Scoot yourself up a little. That's it."

There was nothing between the sheet and the cold concrete floor underneath it. It was very uncomfortable. Giles must have noticed Buffy's frown.

"Sorry, yes. I know it's not very luxurious. I've got some cushions set aside for later."

He was trying not to look at her. Buffy appreciated his manners, though she still felt utterly exposed. Giles crossed the room and returned with a book, holding it open and muttering something in Latin. If Buffy were in a better humour, she might have laughed at the sight of a naked Giles holding a large spell book.

Before she could give it any more thought, her hands and feet began to grow warm. She glanced down; golden light was emanating from the floor beneath her.

"Stay still, Buffy. This will only take a moment."

Buffy watched the ribbons of light rise up around her. They were beautiful. They twisted and turned, forming shapes and symbols in the air that looked like the one she was laying on. Giles was still muttering incantations, his face in the book. She wanted to tell him to stop – to watch the light with her. She felt so warm, the gold ribbons wrapping themselves around her. She barely noticed Giles crouch down beside her.

"Buffy, I need you to say these two phrases. Pronunciation doesn't matter, just say them out loud."

Buffy glanced up at the book Giles was holding in front of her. The words were swimming on the page. She could barely focus.

"Mmm."

"Buffy, please. Try and concentrate."

Buffy scrunched her eyes up, trying to remember why she was there. The light felt so good against her body; she could hardly think about anything else. Finally, she managed to pull herself out of the stupor and look at the page.

EGO IUNGERE. EGO CREO.

"Ego... Um."

"That's it. Quickly now."

"Ego ee-yoon-gehr-eh. Ego cree-oh."

All at once, the light disappeared. Buffy gasped – she felt parts of her body grow hot, before returning to normal. Her head spun. What had just happened?

A hand appeared in front of her. Buffy clasped it and was pulled up into a sitting position. Giles was kneeling next to her, his eyes searching.

"Are you alright?"

Buffy took a deep breath, steadying herself.

"I-I think so. That was... Something else."

"The codex is vague on the function of that part of the ritual. Only that it must be done before anything else, to appease the goddess. You seemed to be in pain, are you sure you're alright?"

Buffy blushed. She looked down at the floor.

"That, um. That wasn't pain."

Giles studied her face, confused. After a moment, his face slackened as he realized her meaning.

"Ah."

"Yeah."

"Was it... Pleasant? That is to say – I wouldn't want you to be forced into feeling something you didn't want to feel."

"It was nice. Unexpected, but nice."

Giles placed a hand on her bare knee, rubbing circles with his thumb.

"That is the only formal part of the ritual, Buffy. Everything from here is up to us. Except..."

Buffy met his eyes. It was his turn to look embarrassed.

"Except?"

Giles sighed, his hand dropping away.

"There's no delicate way to put this, Buffy."

Buffy let out a humourless laugh.

"We're both naked, Giles. Delicacy packed its bags a long time ago."

He gave a pained smile in response.

"I suppose you're right. The codex stipulates that I must... Err. Finish. Inside you," Giles voice grew smaller and smaller.

"Right. Because the Watcher and Slayer were meant to make babies," Buffy's voice was completely flat.

"Yes. But, uh – I hope you don't mind – Willow included something else in the concoction she gave you. A kind of... Magickal contraception. You won't have to fear any repercussions."

Buffy stared forward.

"Wow. You thought of everything."

Giles leaned toward her, his brow furrowed with concern.

"I really wanted to make this as painless as possible for you, Buffy."

She looked up at him, forcing herself to give a minute smile.

"I know. I appreciate it."

They sat in silence for a while, neither looking at the other. Buffy concentrated on her breathing; trying to find the courage to reach a hand out to Giles. She knew the second she did, there'd be no turning back. She'd enter into something she didn't feel the slightest bit prepared for.

Thankfully, Giles interrupted her internal conflict.

"I want to leave this up to you. How would you like to proceed? I can... Erm- I'm happy to do anything you ask of me," he spoke softly.

Buffy could see the colour in his cheeks. She felt sorry for him. It couldn't be any easier for Giles than it was for her, and he was the one who had to actually... Perform. Her sympathy spurred her on - she wanted to help make things easier for him too.

She took a deep breath.

"Why don't you get those cushions you mentioned?" She hoped her tone sounded something close to encouraging.

Giles nodded and stood up. Buffy averted her gaze, aware of what was now very close to her face. She glanced down at the untidy hair between her legs. Regardless of what Giles said, she would have liked a chance to take care of herself before this. She felt less self-conscious now that they had seen each other, but she was still extremely nervous about what was to come. This was a kind of closeness she'd only experienced with two other people before. In some ways, it was still new. She wasn't nearly as seasoned as she imagined Giles to be.

"If you'll stand up, I can lay these out", Giles had returned with an armful of large, fluffy cushions. It was an endearing image; Buffy couldn't help but smirk. She got to her feet and stepped off of the sheet. Giles began strategically placing the cushions down – they spanned about the same amount of space as a double bed.

When he was done, he turned to her. He looked a little sheepish.

"Drink? I uh, brought scotch."

Buffy laughed, nodding. She should have thought of that. Giles smiled, producing a flask out of the jacket that was now lying on the floor. He held it out to her.

"Ladies first."

She took it from him, her fingers curling around his as she did so. She felt his skin against hers keenly. It was nice. She met his eyes – he looked as though he was thinking the same thing. She unscrewed the top of the flask, tipping it into her mouth. It burned. She made a face – Giles laughed.

"Sorry. Perhaps I should have chosen wine," he chuckled.

"No, no. It's... Eugh. Great."

Giles took the flask back from her, stealing several mouthfuls.

"Well, in any case. It might make things a little easier."

He placed the flask on a nearby table, never dropping his eyes from hers. He paused, seeming to consider something. She matched his gaze – trying to seem braver than she actually felt. Buffy knew there was no more time left to stall or make jokes. This was going to happen. Giles crossed the room to her, stopping to stand a hair's width away from her. She was forced to look up to see his face. His eyes burned. Some other places in Buffy burned, too. He placed a warm hand on her hip, the other reaching up to cup her cheek.

They stayed like that for a moment, looking into one another.

Giles smelled good, she suddenly realized. Like scotch and books and some old cologne she would never like on anybody else. Had she ever been this close to Giles? She could make out the fine stubble along his jaw line – the mismatched colours in his irises. Buffy supposed – as far as Watchers went – she could do far worse.

Be brave, Buffy.

Rising up on her toes, Buffy closed the distance between them. She pressed her lips softly against his, matching him by placing a hand on his hip. Giles tensed for a fraction of a second, before parting his lips slightly and snaking his hand around to hold the back of her head. They breathed and sighed against each other, their hands tracing a path around their bodies.

Giles drew a finger across Buffy's collarbone, causing her to shiver slightly. Their mouths broke apart; his hand dipped down to softly cup her breast. Buffy exhaled, her head tilting back. Giles placed a line of kisses along her newly exposed neck – eliciting a small moan from her.

"Hmm," Giles hummed, "that's a lovely sound."

Buffy's moan turned into a giggle. She ran her hands across Giles' chest, playing with the fine hairs she found there. Giles began to roll her nipple between his index finger and thumb – Buffy's mouth fell agape. She breathed heavily, her head rolling back around to rest against Giles' shoulder. He raised his other hand, giving her other breast equal attention. She moaned, the sound muted against his warm shoulder.

Buffy's hand trailed its way down Giles' stomach; she stopped a second to play with the hair there as well. Giles let out a low chuckle, placing his hand over hers and guiding it slowly downward. He pulled back to look at her, asking a silent question. Buffy gave a wry smile, letting her hand continue its journey to wrap itself around his manhood. She bit her lip and looked down; it was completely hard.

The size was about halfway between Angel's and Riley's, the main difference being the smattering of dark grey hair above it. It was pretty - as pretty as they could be. Buffy tightened her grip around it, earning the first moan she had heard from Giles. It was a low, encouraging sound. She decided she liked it a lot.

"That's a nice sound too." She slowly began to run her hand along his length.

"Oh, Buffy," he whispered.

She removed herself from his embrace and knelt down on the pile of cushions, extending a hand to him in invitation. He knelt next to her, brushing the hair out of her face lightly. They kissed again, more forcefully this time. Giles parted Buffy's lips with his tongue, running it along her teeth. Her hand returned to his cock, caressing the head slowly. It was already wet.

Giles cradled the back of Buffy's head, guiding her down on her back. The cushions were much more comfortable than the concrete, Buffy noted. She gazed up at Giles, who was looming squarely above her – looking down at her with an expression she could only describe as hungry. Sparks of electricity surged through her body as his fingers traced patterns along the inside of her thigh. They moved up, up, up – so close to the right spot. He paused suddenly.

"May I?" He asked, his voice hoarse.

He's asking permission. The part of Buffy that wasn't so turned on was overwhelmed by sweetness. She chewed her bottom lip, looking up at him with dark eyes. She nodded once.

Her hips bucked suddenly – Giles had landed perfectly on her most sensitive spot, ghosting over it with two fingers. He gradually added pressure, pressing small circular motions. Buffy shut her eyes tight, unable even to make noise. A little voice in the back of her mind quietly ruminated on how much better Giles was at this than anyone else she'd been with. Her hands gripped his arms, fingertips digging into warm flesh. He returned to placing kisses along Buffy's neck and collarbones, stopping every now and then to suck gently at her skin.

Giles took his other hand and placed it just below his first; a single finger mapping circles around the outside of her entrance. He smiled at her. Buffy looked at him, questioning. He withdrew his hand, holding it up to show her. His fingertips were slick and wet. Buffy blushed, laughing again.

"I think that's a good sign," he murmured into her neck.

"Mmm," her fingernails clawed at his back, urging him on.

Giles repositioned himself, shifting his weight onto one elbow. Still stroking her on the outside, he gently pushed a finger into her. Buffy could feel the resistance – her walls slowly allowing the intrusion. She moaned again, and this time Giles joined her. He moved his hand back and forth, slowly increasing his pace. Buffy pressed herself against him, increasing the friction against her mound.

"Harder, please," she whispered, kissing him along his jaw line. Giles did as he was bid, simultaneously rubbing and thrusting his fingers in and out of her. Buffy started to feel the tell-tale building of pressure from low in her belly. Her nails dug deeper into his back, though he didn't seem to feel it. Tiny beads of sweat were beginning to collect along his forehead as he watched her intently, breathing in time with his motions.

The pressure was building; Buffy's eyes were beginning to roll into the back of her head. She was trying to speak, but it came out instead as a series of gasps and moans.

"Giles, ungh- don't stop..."

Her eyes shot open as her body began to explode in fits of ecstatic spasming. Giles never once broke his rhythm as he watched her. Buffy looked up at him, her mouth hanging open. She bucked against him once, twice, three times – before gasping for air and pushing at his chest lightly. He slowed to a stop, withdrawing his fingers from her. He wiped them on a nearby cushion and put his palm against her cheek. He smiled warmly down at her.

"That was... A nice surprise," Buffy managed.

Giles laughed. "Very much so."

Buffy buried her face in her hands, giddy and embarrassed. Giles lay down next to her, rubbing her shoulder lightly.

"That was... The first time someone's done that for me," Buffy admitted quietly.

"Hmm?"

"Made me- Um. Made me cum." She was blushing again.

Giles sat up on his elbow to look at her. "Oh."

"Don't get me wrong, I've-I do it to myself all the time," Buffy cringed. What a choice of words.

Giles chuckled. "Some men are brutes. Or, they're simply uneducated. I'm sorry you've not been exposed to better."

Buffy smiled, perhaps a little sadly. He was right – she'd clearly been missing out. Giles returned to stroking her hair, humming under his breath.

"Do you-" Buffy started, "Uh, do you think we should...?"

"Shh, shh. I'd rather give you a moment to recover."

Buffy could hardly believe it. Sure, Angel and Riley weren't selfish lovers, but they also weren't very patient. Sex was always the highest priority, and Buffy was expecting the same from Giles. To see that not all men were obsessed with their penises was... Kind of refreshing.

Buffy took inventory on her physical condition – parts of her were still throbbing, and she was still stuck in a kind of post-orgasm brain fog. She cast her eyes down Giles' body. He was still half-hard. She trailed a clumsy hand down his torso.

"Buffy, are you sure?"

"I'd better return the favour," she smiled lazily.

She gripped him, her hand moving up and down at a moderate pace. Giles groaned, turning to lie flat on his back. Buffy sat up, kneeling over him. He ran his hands gently along her arms, the sparks she had felt earlier starting to return. She eyed him, considering. She thought about using her mouth, but decided against it for reasons she couldn't quite articulate to herself. After a few seconds, Giles sat up, stopping Buffy's hand.

He leant in to kiss her. They were smaller, more chaste kisses this time. Buffy thought they were sweet. Giles ran his hands down her sides, stopping to place a hand on either side of her waist.

"Like this," he murmured – guiding Buffy to assume a kneeling position over him. She went with him, his warm hands strong against her. She perched above him, kept upright on her knees. He had her positioned right above his length, his eyes burning into hers.

Buffy reached out to cup his face, as he had done to her. Giles smiled and pushed his cheek into her hand. Then, never breaking eye contact, he guided her down onto him. Buffy sucked in a sharp breath through her nose as she felt him push inside her. Much bigger than a couple of fingers, Buffy felt her walls stretch around him, throbbing against him.

"God, Buffy."

Giles looked down to where they had joined; Buffy had trouble reading his expression. It was one part overwhelmed, another... Wistful? She decided to ignore it – opting instead to focus on the feeling of Giles filling her, thrusting slowly in and out of her.

They stayed like that for a while, before Buffy's thighs began to ache. Giles must have sensed her discomfort – he grabbed her again by her waist and placed her carefully down on her back. He climbed atop her, holding himself in his hand. Buffy propped herself up on her elbows as Giles guided himself in. He moved a hand around to rest between her shoulder blades, holding her closer to him.

Buffy watched him – he had his eyes closed now. His brow was furrowed, he seemed to be concentrating deeply. His breaths were deep and long, matching his thrusts. She continued to stroke his face, his hair, his shoulders. She was still a little sensitive after her orgasm, but his presence inside her was warm and comforting. She felt safe.

Giles began to move faster, his grip on her back grew tighter. He opened his eyes, gazing down at Buffy intently. She gave a smile, trying to show him that she was okay. The corner of his mouth twitched, but he was too preoccupied to do much else besides gasp and perspire. As his pace picked up, he began to vocalize. Buffy listened to his moans, pleased that he was able to let go with her.

She felt Giles' fingers dig into her back, his thrusting becoming more and more forceful. The force stirred something in Buffy; she began to moan with him as he climbed higher and higher towards his end. Finally, he crashed against her with a long, drawn-out shudder.

"Guh- Buffy-"

Buffy could feel him twitching inside her. She imagined his seed covering her walls, dripping down to her entrance. She'd never been come in before – she thought she'd be able to feel it. Buffy stroked Giles' hair as he clutched her tightly, breathing heavily into her neck.

She looked up to see a mist of golden light above them. She wondered how she hadn't noticed before.

"Giles, look," she whispered.

He disentangled himself from her, his head tilting upwards.

"Ah," he murmured, "I believe we have successfully fulfilled the ritual."

They sat side by side, watching the energy slowly dissipate around them. Buffy reached out to clasp Giles' hand – his fingers tightened around hers.

Buffy stood in the restored training room, tentatively striking the dummy in front of her. She was taking it slow – her powers were still returning. Giles had been giving her a wide berth since last night, she supposed he was trying to be polite.

She tensed, launching into a spinning kick that landed at about shoulder height on the dummy. She stumbled, dizziness suddenly overwhelming her.

"I think you'll want to take it a little easier than that," a voice came from behind her.

Buffy turned – Giles was leaning against the doorframe, a navy blue sweater clad across his torso. She averted her gaze for a second; briefly recalling what was underneath it. She gave him a tired smile, taking a seat against the wall. Giles stayed where he was, hesitant.

"What, you won't even sit next to me now?" Buffy asked playfully.

Giles' mouth twitched, he unfolded his arms and crossed the room to sit with her. It was the closest they'd been since last night. It wasn't uncomfortable, Buffy realized.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. Still aching and tired, but I can feel myself getting stronger."

He smiled. "That's very good news."

She returned the smile, before looking down at her knees. She had no idea what to say to him.

"Giles, I-"

"It's alright, Buffy. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

Her hands fidgeted in her lap. "No, I-I want to. I think it's important."

She saw Giles nod out of the corner of her eye. He stayed silent, giving her space to speak.

"I just wanted to say... Thank you. I know that sounds weird, but- Um. It was a hard thing. For both of us," she finally met his gaze, "but you made it easier."

Giles' eyes softened – Buffy realized he was probably worried she'd start crying.

"You've been remarkably mature about everything, Buffy. Not only that, but you were very generous. Last night could very easily have been... Well, terribly awkward and painful. I honestly expected as much. But you- You were kind. You didn't have to be."

Buffy sighed, relieved that the tension was dispersing. She cared for Giles very much – she had been worried that their relationship would be forever changed after the ritual. They knew things about one another they had no right to know. Buffy realized she'd never be able to think of him as something akin to a father figure again – it would be too strange. She supposed they would have to live in the middle; between lovers, friends, family.

"What now?" Buffy asked, a little afraid of the answer.

Giles placed a hand on her knee. It felt the same as it ever did, but faintly different.

"The usual mayhem and chaos, I expect."

He stood to leave. He paused, placing a kiss gently on Buffy's cheek. Without stopping to look at her, he disappeared back into the front of the store.

Staring at the space her Watcher occupied a moment ago, Buffy lifted a hand – lightly touching her cheek.

"Mayhem and chaos," she whispered, smiling to herself.