Anger and frustration boiled inside the Supreme Leader as he trudged through the halls of his ship. His jaw worked, clenching and un-clenching. Everything felt tense and every little sound grated across his nerves. He swore that General Hux was the most annoying, aggravating, and disturbing man in the galaxy. Even when he was not trying to get on his nerves, his very presence and attitude set him on edge, ready at any moment for something to snap within him and his rage reared its ugly head.
Kylo forced open the electric door to his quarters. He ripped off his gloves and constricting armor, leaving him in his black tunic, pants, and boots. He went to the mat on the floor, planning to meditate. Just because he was a member of the Dark side, did not mean that one did not need peace and balance in his life. Kylo never felt at peace or balanced, but meditating at least took away his angry edge and allowed him to see things clearer. A month ago Snoke left the picture, bringing relief to his life that he didn't ever expect. Thinking about that incident however, caused him to think about the scavenger girl who ultimately was the reason why his master was dead, and why he was so restless of late. He shook his head, as if it could clear his head of her. He took in a deep breath, trying to focus and empty his mind and soul of the chaos.
Silence. Breathing, in and out. In…. Out….
A sharp ringing sound, whined in his ears and the atmosphere changed around him. He opened his eyes to find that he was not in his quarters, but instead found himself sitting on the floor of a small training room. He felt the Force in a different, but not unfamiliar, way and knew that Force had bonded him with Rey. Dread, relief, and excitement filled him when he saw her. She was sparing against a simple padded post. He watched her lithe body moved fluidly around as she kicked and hit the dummy. He stood up and walked over to her. Apparently, she was not yet aware of his presence; too focused. When she did see him out of the corner of her eye, she whipped around tensely in his direction. She held up her fists defensively, and her eyes told him that she was conflicted about his presence. Kylo stood there expressionless for a moment before she dropped her arms down to her sides, and relaxed. She gave him a wary eye then turned back to the dummy, resuming her routine. He watched her silently for a moment.
Without much thought, he impulsively caught her fist just before impact. It startled her, but he did not let go. He pulled it toward himself and inspected it. Her knuckles were black and blue, cracked and bleeding slightly. The sight appalled him. Not because he thought it was ugly, but because she had no idea what she was doing. No one was teaching her how to train properly, or what to even train for. Much less teach her how to protect and preserve herself. He sighed.
"What are you doing?" Rey asked, yanking her hand out of his. Her eyebrows came together in agitation and her nose crinkled up. He waved the thought out of his mind that she never ceased to look beautiful.
"You need help." He said, his voice coming out courser then he meant it to.
"Excuse me?" She asked, offended. "I do not. And even if I did, I definitely don't need any help from you."
Kylo winced at her comment, but then softened. "I meant, you need a teacher. You are causing yourself avoidable pain the way you train."
"Hmph." She grunted. She gave him a wary look before speaking, "So what do you suppose I do then, huh? I tried finding a teacher. He's dead now."
"Let me teach you."
Once again, she was silent, contemplating, before she let a breath, as if in defeat. "Fine, you can teach me. This is crazy though."
"Is it?" Kylo said, holding back a victorious smile. "Now, take a step back and put your feet shoulder-width apart. Yes, like that. Now punch with your body behind it. You're small, so you need to use your body weight to punch, not your muscle. Try it."
She took a swing, but didn't quite do what he wanted. He stood behind her and put his hands on her waist, trying to move her to the correct position. She tensed under his touch, and he realized what he had done. But it did not make him retreat, in fact it emboldened him. So he continued to move her, then adjusted her arms height, and the angle of her body before taking the smallest of steps back away from her. His senses heightened by her closeness.
"Try again now, but this time follow through with your body, instead of just standing there."
This time she did what he asked, which made him smile. "Good."
Kylo continued to teach her for at least an hour, before he began to detect her fatigue. He told her she should take break, so together they walked off the training mat. When Rey reached for her water, he caught sight of her beat up hands again. He saw a small spool of gauze in corner, and went to retrieve it. Luckily there was enough.
"Give me your hands." He said calmly. She gave him a confused and worried look. At that moment he realized that she still didn't trust him. He was being strange when his actions and demeanor were contradictory. He attempted to soften his features and appear friendly without smiling. He let his good intentions flow through the Force that was surrounding them. Her own face relaxed and he even saw a hint of smile while she held up her hands to him.
Kylo poured some water onto her hands and made sure it cleaned out the bloody cracks in her skin. It made her wince, but otherwise she held still. For a moment, he focused on the feeling of her hands in his bigger ones. She was so small, but yet so powerful. Her hands seemed delicate, but also rough due to a lifetime of work and struggle. He felt heat and the Force emanating from her. They bumped into his own heat and power, and mingled together. He'd never felt this way before in his life. It was…exhilarating. But the moment could not last. Kylo began wrapping her hands with the gauze he'd found. Once he was satisfied, he let her hands go, and a strange buzz that he had not been aware of till now disappeared with her touch.
"You need to go see a medic droid sometime, but for now that will do. Next time, you won't have to beat yourself up training though." He said. He felt like a droid. Speaking as little words as possible with as little emotion as possible. And he hated himself for it.
Conveniently, he began to feel himself being pulled back to his world. The connection was ending.
"Goodbye Rey." He said, his voice surprisingly soft, almost a whisper.
"Goodbye Ben." He looked up to her face to see tears brimming in her eyes, before the vision of her disappeared. He took a deep breath, and felt completely empty inside.
xXOXx
It had been a full week since Rey had seen Ben in the training room. Ever since then she had been trying to do what he had taught her, or as much she remembered being able to pay attention to. She had been very distracted by him. The thing that stuck out the most in her mind was when he touched her. The way he had put his hands on her waist, his fingers spread out against the sides of her stomach. Her heart wanting to beat out of her chest due to his proximity. His tall, large body looming behind her. His breath on the back of her neck as he adjusted her. The way he had gently held her hands, as if she were a fragile piece of glass, as he carefully tried to repair her knuckles. And the look in his eyes when he stopped unconsciously and just held her hands in his. And then he was gone.
xXOXx
Kylo's eyes widened as he noticed the world around him silence and the air change somehow, and he knew that he was going to see Rey any second now. Then there she was, once again in the training room ironically. She was fighting the same dummy, but with her staff, and her hands were wrapped. He strained to keep the smile off his face as he noticed the change in her stance, thanks to him.
She noticed almost immediately that he was standing there. She looked over at him, and nearly fell off the mat. She balanced herself before she could fall, and just stared at him. Kylo had just finished showering and had not yet had the chance to put his shirt back on. He raised an eyebrow at her.
"Is there a problem?" He asked, recalling a time when they were in a similar situation, and she had asked him if would properly clothe himself, which he refused. Once again, he enjoyed watching her squirm and see her face redden. It nearly made him laugh.
"N-no, she said. I'm just…surprised to see you." She said, clearly lying.
"Alright. So, what do you say we spar?" He asked, giving her a coy smile.
"Uh, sure?"
One on one. They began to fight, no weapons, just themselves. They were connected through the Force, which allowed them to predict each other's moves, making the fight more like a dance. It felt so natural, so right. He realized he felt like he had when they had fought off Snoke's Scarlet Guard together. They moved as one. Eventually, Kylo got the upper hand and he kicked her feet out from underneath her, but before he could do anything she had tripped him over and he fell on top of her. He pushed himself onto his hands and knees. His fists were planted on either side of her face and his legs straddled her waist. He immediately felt the awkwardness of their intimate position, but he didn't move. He saw her swallow, their faces merely inches apart. They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. Silence except for their synchronized breathing.
"Rey." "Ben" They both finally said simultaneously.
"Rey," He repeated. His voice came out quietly, not a whisper, but husky in a way he couldn't control. "You and I don't need to be afraid of each other. Not anymore. At least when we're together like this, through the Force bond. Someday…maybe someday we can truly be on the same side. But for now, can we enjoy the few moments we have?" He paused and searched her face. He sensed a calm in her, so he continued on.
"I…I can't stand being apart from you. You fill me with something that I've never felt before…peace, balance. Rey…. I need you." He whispered finally.
Her eyes widened at his words. He could feel her breath mingle with his as she searched for an answer. Suddenly, he was pummeled with an onslaught of emotions. They were not his own, but Rey's. She was using the Force to connect herself to him. He was filled with unbelievable pleasure and relief that she felt the same way he did. Out of nowhere he felt a tremendous pull to do something incredibly brazen and possibly stupid. He lowered himself even closer to her, and looked at her lips, to her soulful eyes, then back to her lips. He closed the small gap between them and felt a rush of adrenaline as he captured her mouth with his. His arms began to tremble from holding his weight for so long. He flipped himself up, and grabbed her shoulders taking her with him so she sat in his lap, all the while his lips never leaving hers. To his joy she began to kiss him back. Her hands slid from his wrists up his arms, across his shoulders, and down to rest against his bare chest. He placed one of his oversized hands over her shaking one on his chest, while the other snaked under her arm to her neck, where he tugged her closer. He felt consumed by an unknown heat from her as he hungrily devoured her lips.
When at last they broke apart, he rubbed his hands up and down her arms and felt goosebumps covering her skin. He looked at her, all of her, trying to memorize the way it felt to hold her in his arms. He realized that he had to make the most of every moment, because he never knew if it would be his last. He looked into her eyes, and felt as if he was drowning.
"Ben," She whispered. "Please, just join me."
He tensed at her words, but that was all. He listened.
"We could be together like this all the time. You fight so hard to stay in the dark. I don't know why you can't just leave it alone, and…and come be with me. The light pulls you, you can't deny it. All the dark does is bring you pain and more pain. Why do you endure it? It's like how I used to train. I could have avoided a lot of pain. But then you came and taught me how to do it right. So, Ben, let me teach you how to do things right. Please?"
Every word she said was growing fainter and fainter, until she was gone. A tear slid down his cheek as he felt the absence of her warmth. And the first time in a long time, he actually felt like change in his soul was possible. He could almost touch the light that she offered him. Now she was gone. It was too late.
A/NHello everyone! So, I have never done anything with the new Star Wars movies. But I watched TLJ the other day and I was like, "Holy crap! They have a thing. Reylo!!!!!" It had never entered my mind before and now I can't stop thinking about it. Its just so unconventional and complicated and conflicting, but its sooooooooooooo good!!!!! Love Reylo now! Anywho, I hoped you enjoyed this. I tried to make it different then all the other reylo fics out there by actually having a satisfying romantic moment, and giving off some hope for Ben. I will be heartbroken if his redemption is not cannon. He is amazing. Kind of off topic, but my mom thinks he's ugly, and secretly I'm like, no way in heck is that man ugly! Quite the opposite!Anywho, I hope this okay as my first Reylo fic. Have a happy New Year!God Bless!~Annanarra