Chapter 6

一

Despair soaks into her bones before she even opens her eyes. She knows what day it is, has been dreading it since the start of the month and yet it didn't prepare her at all for what she is feeling.

For a second, she can almost hear rumbling in the kitchen, smell the acrid burn of bread left in the toaster too long and jasmine tea brewed to perfection. Faint giggles reach her ears and she clenches her eyes shut willing the hallucination to go away.

(She was scared of what she would hear if she listened any closer.)

It's a shame for her, really. Once upon a time the Uchiha didn't even care about anniversaries. It was considered crass to celebrate them considering the majority of the clan were combat shinobi and can anyone really imagine celebrating a 3 year anniversary while poor Megumi was just made a widow?

Eventually, as the clan integrated more with the rest of the village, this disregard for anniversaries was cast aside. Uchiha-style celebrations involving kind smiles and extra trays of senbei were adopted instead.

The sounds she's trying so desperately to ignore creep ever closer, suffocating her in their warmth. Not for the first time, she aches for the deep darkness that had encompassed her in ignorance so long ago. She tries to reach for it now - as she has tried so many times before - tries to drag it back around and into her heart but just as she gets a grip on it, it disappears.

Hopelessly angry and heartbroken, she violently throws the covers off practically hurling herself off the bed. The world melts together as she scrambles towards the bathroom, ragged breaths leaving her mouth as she frantically splashes water on her face but it's all for naught.

The happiness that once was her family has sunk its claws deep into her brain and every time she closes her eyes she can see them. Smiling, alive, warm. And when she opens them she's reminded of the nightmare world she's living in. Blood and cold and death.

Wake up!

A voice bellows inside her, almost ravenous in its fury. She's been hearing this voice more often now, rearing its head in the cold dark nights after long, grueling days of training. Chiyome knows she shouldn't find comfort in it, remembers well the lessons Fugaku had given her on staying away from the Uchiha anger but the voice grounds her, supports her and she's found she's been wanting for support lately. The voice mellows out into a low rumble, warmth spreading like wildfire in her bones.

A knock at the window jars her out of her thoughts.

It's not unusual for the ANBU around her to communicate nonverbally and though she's sure she's not meant to know it she's had so little to focus on that she's developed a very rudimentary understanding of what they're saying.

"It's time." The knocks come in rapid succession, a disorienting mix of the standard alphabet and the dialects of Konoha, Fire Temple, and rural Takayama. Had someone with no express knowledge of the regional variants attempted to crack the code they would've been led far and away to the civilian grain mills.

She barely has time to frown at the tapped out message before the air shifts behind her.

"Uchiha-san."

"I know." The words are a struggle to force out, tone weary and exhausted in a way no child should be. For a moment she considers slinking into the Hokage's office dressed as she is, hair still mussed from her nightmares but Fugaku's voice rings in her ears.

"Get yourself together." He would say with a voice rumbling low like thunder and soft eyes.

"5 minutes" is knocked onto the window, whether the message is meant for her or the ANBU she doesn't know. Resolutely, she wipes the tears from her eyes and turns to get dressed. Hopefully the Hokage has enough sense to let her leave early today.

She walks there in complete silence, eyes straight ahead and completely discounting every greeting sent her way. For some reason, the sun is shining.

The chunin at the desk tries to stop her from heading straight up to the Hokage's office but a quick flash of chakra from the ANBU has him stopping short, sinking back into his chair muttering about spoiled brats.

Chiyome pauses at the door to the Sandaime's office, hand stopped an inch away from a knock. She needs to do this, there's no getting around a direct summons from the Hokage, but she's so tired.

"Come in." His voice booms from the other side of the door and she takes a deep, centering breath before finally heading in. The Hokage cuts an imposing figure in his chair with his hat tilted forward, shadowing his eyes. His pipe is held in his hand and she watches as he takes a long drag from it before smiling slightly. The smoke flows out from his nostrils and she's struck still at the sight of a dragon before her.

"Chiyome-chan, it's good to see you." A warm voice calls out from the side, she turns her head to see soft blond and green watching her kindly.

She tries valiantly to keep the betrayal out of her face as she stares at Inoichi but from the pinch in his brows she doesn't quite succeed.

"Please sit down." The Hokage orders from behind his desk, hat lifting slightly from his eyes. Chiyome obliges, moving stiffly to the seat placed dead center in the room, staring Inoichi down all the way.

A gentle rumble gets her to jerk her eyes away and back to the Sandaime, a knowing twinkle in his eye as he watches her. She bites down the frown creeping up, wondering just what exactly he sees when he looks at her. The three descend into a decidedly awkward silence leaving Chiyome disoriented. When she had gotten the missive demanding her attendance, she had thought there would be a fair bit more talking.

Eventually, Inoichi - having grown tired of just staring at the girl - begins talking. It's meaningless drivel designed specifically to get her to relax.

She hates that it works.

It's only after Inoichi has gotten her to loosen up, returned the light - though it's just a dull variation of it - into her eyes that the Sandaime speaks.

"Chiyome-chan, do you know what day today is?"

And she just freezes because what kind of question is that? The absolute nerve, the audacity to sit there and ask her that?

He doesn't care for you. The voice inside her rumbles, curling through her blood and turning it to fire. He wants to see you ache. Her finger twitches in response, completely absorbed with what the voice is saying. What proof does she have otherwise anyways?

"It's the anniversary of when the Uchiha signed the armistice with the Senju that eventually led to the creation of Konoha."

She goes completely blank for a minute, even the Voice's pleased rumblings stop short in confusion. Bafflement is clear on her face, eyebrows scrunched together and lips pulled into a tight frown. The Sandaime blinks and he can swear for a minute Fugaku is sitting in front of him.

"I'm sorry Sandaime-sama, I don't believe I fully understand." Another smile quirks the man's lips, she even talks just like him.

"We, the entire village of Konoha, owe the Uchiha and Senju a great debt of gratitude for all the sacrifices that have been made for our betterment." He watches with keen eyes as her hands turn into fists in her lap. "But I fear, Chiyome-chan, that we had not thanked them enough for all that they had done and now we have only the opportunity to thank you for all you have done and, as you continue your shinobi training, for all that you will do."

The Hokage stops for a minute, truly considering the girl in front of him. He's got a choice to make in this very instant of whether to push or not but the doubts raised in the last Council meeting have been front and center in his mind. He knows that she'll resent him for this but for the betterment of the village he must continue on.

(He hopes Fugaku and Mikoto will understand.)

"One of those things, Chiyome-chan, is to disclose any information you may have in regards to your brother's actions." Both Chiyome and Inoichi go completely still at that but Sarutobi has a point to make and he will not let his sympathy for the girl get in the way of his duty.

Her mouth twists into something vicious and he can practically see the insults slamming around her mind. Watery eyes were something he expected but the fire toiling in them draws more of his attention but before he can truly begin to analyze it, she blinks. Her face takes all of a few seconds to completely cool into the traditional Uchiha stoicism but the tight grip she has on her chair's arms gives her away.

"Hokage-sama," she grinds out, "are you asking if I allowed my clan to be slaughtered."

He decides not to respond allowing the silence to answer for him, barely acknowledging the sharp intake of breath from Inoichi.

(And resolutely ignoring the aggressive flare of chakra from outside his window.)

"No." The fire returns to her eyes but she's unable to quell it this time. She shifts her fiery gaze to Inoichi, an accusation practically searing him into place.

"Ah yes, Yamanaka-san is here in case you desire to talk to anyone." The man in question shifts uncomfortably, all three distinctly aware of what the Hokage is implying

They descend into another silence, this one rife with tension.

(The Voice howls all the while.)

"I have answered your question honestly and have no need for someone to poke around my brain."

He watches her for another few moments, gaze heavy as he takes in her eyes. For a moment, he thinks he can see red but e plays it off as a trick of the eyes. It would do no good for her or the village if she were to develop the Sharingan at this point.

He dips his head in a nod. "Very well then Chiyome-chan, you may leave."

She gets up immediately, not a bow in his direction or a glance in Inoichi's. The Yamanaka himself rises from his seat, obviously determined to follow her out of the office in an attempt to assuage her concerns and comfort her but the Sandaime is not done with this meeting.

"Inoichi-san, please wait a moment."

それ

Chiyome is lost.

Not directionally, of course, Mikoto had her run through the alleys and sprawling streets so often she could walk around with no sight or sound and still make it around just fine. But mentally, Chiyome is struggling.

The meeting with the Hokage was not just beyond strange, it was infuriating. She's not sure what exactly he was trying to get out of her, she's completely certain he knows that she doesn't have any information on what happened so what was that?

I already told you.

"Chiyome!" A voice barks out at her but she's too caught up in replaying the Hokage's words to really pay attention. A sigh sounds behind her followed by some mumbled words. Distantly, she realizes that someone is jogging up to her.

You already know what they think of you.

"Chiyome." The boy sighs again when he elicits no response from her, letting out a muttered "troublesome" before slinking into step beside her. The two walk around in silence, both completely lost in their own thoughts.

What will you do about it?

Eventually, they end up on the street that would lead them to the abandoned Uchiha District. Shikamaru stops short at the sight, turning fully to look carefully at Chiyome but she's still too lost in thought to notice. As she nears the end of the street, Shikamaru reaches out and jerks her back.

Her body moves completely on its own, gripping the arm holding her and shifting her hips to throw him. She comes back to herself just before she can break his arm.

She lets go of him in shock, scuttling away and towards the end of the alley. Turning to look over her shoulder at the empty street, the blood drains out of her face.

She is not ready to be here. She doesn't think she ever will be.

Miserably, she collapses to her knees. A sob rises in her throat but she bites it back, determined not to cry in front of her not-quite friend.

Do not cry, the Voice whispers, crying is weakness. Turn your tears into something greater.

"Come on." Shikamaru says, inadvertently cutting it off. He's standing a ways away from her, arm held close to his side but he still waits for her to get up before turning around and walking in the opposite direction.

He doesn't lead her to any specific spot, content to just continue ambling aimlessly throughout the village. After their third lap around, Chiyome finally pulls herself out of her misery long enough to stare despondently at the Hokage Tower.

"It's my parents' anniversary today."

Shikamaru stills at that, turning wide eyes to the girl beside him. She meets his eyes with watery ones of her own. He sighs again, reaching out slowly to grab her wrist and drag her behind him.

"We're having cold soba tonight."

Chiyome dutifully follows him around, no life or energy in her movements. Eventually, she looks up to find them at the far edge of Konoha, the Nara Forest sprawling out majestically before her barely even looking like it's a part of the village.

The Nara Compound is much more expansive than even the Uchiha District. Every building is almost flush with the tree line with back doors opening straight into the Forest. The trees themselves tower high above everything else, clearly older than Konoha and any other trees to be found in the village. She can hear the birds high in their nests and the trampling of hooves though the iconic deer can't actually be seen.

Shikamaru gives her no chance to take the beautiful sight before her in, dragging her along to the largest house at the very edge of the tree line. It opens up to the widest swath of land and she can see a trail leading into the forest directly behind it. He leads her up the front, shouting a quick "I'm home" before ushering her into the sitting area.

"Wait here." He instructs before he zooms out as quickly as possible.

Chiyome stares, baffled, at where he just stood.

A few minutes pass before the girl finally starts to relax enough to take in the room. It's huge, much larger than the apartment she's living in currently. In front of her is a wide bookshelf with endless volumes all seemingly written in the Nara clan code. To her right is Shikaku's desk, shockingly near and orderly. On her other side is a small tea table, an active game of shogi still being played. The true star of the room, however, is behind her. The wall has been completely taken out leaving a huge window giving direct line of sight to the Nara Forest. She can see the trail clearly now, can even follow it a ways into the greenery. Even greater than that is the unobstructed view of the Nara deer.

They're watching her through the window just as she is them, a keen light in their eyes. The civilians think the deer are harmless creatures, same as any other you would find in the wild but the shinobi know better. Though they might not have the power of a summons, there's little more foolish than underestimating them in their own territory.

"Ah Chiyome-chan," a woman's voice calls out to her, "are you staying for dinner?"

The question is a complete formality, asked only for the sake of pretending Chiyome has a choice. She glances between Shikamaru and the woman, easily putting two and two together before nodding.

"If you'll have me Nara-san."

"I'm a shinobi dear," the woman smiles lightly at her, "call me Yoshino."

"Of course, Yoshino-san."

"Shikamaru go set the table." The boy practically runs out of the room, the fastest Chiyome has ever see him move. Yoshino moves over to the couch, gesturing for Chiyome to sit as well. "Shikamaru says today's an important day for you."

Chiyome's face tightens before she cools it down, staring at Yoshino with fiery eyes. "Yes, it is."

Yoshino waits a beat for Chiyome to continue talking but it quickly becomes obvious she won't be very forthcoming. She's not going to kid herself into thinking she can handle an emotional Uchiha, she's seen plenty of those in her lifetime, but she's been around the Yamanaka for so long she's sure she can at least try and reassure the girl. Thinking back to all her interaction with Mikoto, Yoshino figures the openly honest tactic to be the best.

"Chiyome, nobody in this village knows the pain or the loss that you've experienced - are experiencing but I just want you to know," she dips her head slightly in an attempt to catch the young girl's eyes, "you're not alone."

Interestingly, the fire in Chiyome's eyes doesn't die out as they sit watching each other. Rather, it seems to burn even brighter, fiercer.

"Kaa-san, the table's set." Shikamaru calls out.

"Well then Chiyome, let's go eat." Yoshino claps her hands together before leading the way to the dining room. Chiyome pretends not to be shocked when she sees that Shikaku is already at the table when they get there, sending a polite smile his way before sinking into the open chair.

Chiyome watches as the three Nara's talk idly about their days and other mundane things, steadfastly ignoring the water welling in her eyes. They are so lucky, she thinks to herself, they don't even realize it.

The Voice rears up, ready to start another diatribe of loneliness and sorrow but she casts it aside. Now's not the time, not after spending the whole day listening to it.

"Chiyome," Shikaku says, "how was your day?"

She finishes her mouthful before smiling thinly at the man. "It was very eventful Shikaku-san, Hokage-sama had me come in for a meeting today."

Shikaku stills at that, though it's not unusual for the Hokage to have general meetings without his Jounin Commander, it was unusual for anything regarding Chiyome Uchiha to happen without input from all of the brass. "What did you talk about?"

"Hokage-sama had some questions for me." She pauses, taking a sip of water. "Inoichi-san was there as well."

The entire table pauses. Inoichi isn't called into meetings unless….the three watch her in various stages of shock. Her smile grows more brittle.

"It seems Hokage-sama believes I knew about it beforehand and said nothing."

Shikaku closes his eyes, the wind practically knocked out of him. There were concerns - well founded - about her mental health after she awoke from her coma. The signs of her trauma are clear enough to spot on a regular basis but when the Council had so ridiculously suggested that Itachi had shared the idea of the Massacre with his dear sister Shikaku had never thought that the Sandaime would actually take those ideas to heart.

"Can someone pass the water please?"

Shikamaru shakily passes the jug over, still staring wide-eyed at her.

Run is whispered in her ear and before she even has a chance to question whether it's his voice or the Voice, she's out of her chair and out the door racing towards a place she'll never consider home.

〆

Ugh y'all editing this chapter took so long, there was so much going on and it was...wild. Anyways, I hate Sarutobi and I hope y'all do too! But really, there is an explanation for his behavior but the main focus re: his actions is how Chiyome feels post that. Also more interactions with more people! Can't wait until the next chapter when she has to see Shikamaru and Shikaku again lmao!

I tried to work more on being descriptive and I'm kind of scared that the writing got super awkward in parts so please let me know what y'all think. I really appreciate all of the input you guys give, even if it's just one word or something critical.

Guest: You got it in one with Yugao! It's not a super big deal, just a little easter egg but I figured that Team Ro wouldn't just leave Chiyome to some random ANBU team and yes that does mean that our favorite loner is also involved. Thank you so much for your comments, I really want Chiyome to have people to rely on because the idea of nobody being there for Sasuke really grinds my gears because come on...they're a kid. I really hope you enjoy this chapter!