The Heart of the Matter

Chapter 1

Hateful Words from a Friend

In which Adrien says some not-so-good things...

He hadn't meant to say it. He was just so tired of Alya and Nino getting on his case and trying to set him up with Marinette. He liked her well enough and they had become closer friends over the years, but that's all they would ever be because his heart belonged firmly to Ladybug and no one else.

Nino and Alya were just going to have to accept that and get off of his case.

Except they wouldn't leave him alone about it. They hounded him (he would give Nino some credit, at least he was subtle about it, mostly sticking to sly smirks and inconspicuous winks, but Alya was about as subtle as a brick wall). They would set traps in the forms of double dates and then ditch Adrian and Marinette. They would say things that had double-meanings, throwing off the entire conversation and making it awkward.

At first, he didn't understand why they were doing all of it until they were all sitting around a table in the library working on a group project. He had asked about some little tidbit of information, Marinette supplied the answer, and they went back to their research.

Or, at least he tried to go back to his research. The stare that he felt on him made it difficult to do so. He looked up from his book and found Nino's eyes boring into him.

"What?" He mouthed at his friend.

The librarian had been rather adamant lately about silence in the library.

Nino flicked his eyes back and forth between Marinette and Adrian. Adrian looked at Marinette and found that she was a little pink in the face, which, when he thought about it, wasn't really unusual for her around him, but never around anyone else. And then it struck him. He didn't know why it had taken him so long to figure it out. All of the stuttering and blushing, the running away and the flustered looks that she would give him when he talked to her, though it wasn't as bad as it used to be, it all added up to one simple fact: Marinette was crushing on him.

The epiphany shook him. Everything made so much sense now and he was a jerk for not realizing it sooner. How was he supposed to handle this? Sure, Marinette was sweet, but she was definitely no Ladybug. He felt a small amount of pity for her, for the pain that she would essentially have to deal with if she ever asked him out.

Oh, sweet cheese, how would he even be able to reject her. He lightly banged his head against the table they were sitting at, earning himself strange looks from his friends.

Marinette raised her hand as if to pat him on the shoulder in comfort, but he raised his head and looked right at her. She squeaked, (which is all he could think to call the sound that she made) and pulled her arm back. A dark blush covered her face as she knocked her arm into the table. Alya and Nino watched in baffled amusement while Marinette rubbed her elbow.

"Um," she started, "are you okay, Adrien?"

She looked so earnest and just why did she have to be so friggin' sweet. Seriously, this girl just literally banged up her arm and was in obvious pain and she was asking if he was okay. What even? And here he was contemplating how he would have to eventually break her heart. He was the worst.

Adrien groaned, nodding his head against the table. He decided that if it ever came down to it, he would have to let her down gently. He really hoped that she never actually got the courage for it.

So now, here they were, three weeks after his realization. Marinette still hadn't said anything to him, which he thanked Ladybug's luck every day for. (Plagg said that didn't even make sense, but Adrien just didn't care.) He, Nino, and Alya were getting their books out and making sure they had their homework for the morning classes; Marinette was running late as always. Though, Adrien vaguely noted that this was probably the latest she had been all year.

Alya turned to him, a wicked gleam in her eye, and Adrien just knew that she was going to start in on one of her mad schemes to set him up with their dark-haired friend. He held up his hand in front of her mouth, stopping her before she said anything.

"No, Alya. Don't start."

Alya huffed. "You don't even know what I was going to say though."

He rolled his eyes in much the same way that his lady did to him when he would make a pun. "Let's just make it clear right now, guys," he said, making sure to include Nino in the conversation. "I have no intention of ever dating Marinette. I don't like her, and I would greatly appreciate it if you guys would stop hounding me about it."

He hadn't realized how frustrated he was until he realized he had raised his. He expected them to be surprised. He expected them to have some form of apology. He did not expect them to be staring at him, eyes wide, and gaping like fish.

He groaned and rubbed a hand down his face. "She's standing right behind me, isn't she?"

Alya nodded.

Okay. He was a man, he could face this. Marinette didn't have a cruel bone in her body. She would understand that it was all a misunderstanding and their friendship wouldn't be ruined by his careless words.

He turned around ready to apologize profusely, and stopped at the sight of the person in front of him. He had never truly understood the word haggard until that moment.

Her hair was pulled back into an untidy braid, little wisps of it sticking out as if she went to sleep with it like that. There were dark circles under her eyes, the color juxtaposing the paleness of her skin and making her face look gaunt instead of the healthy glow that usually effused her cheeks. She wore a baggy inside-out dark green sweater that hung off of one shoulder, a light pink strap visible crossing over it, and black leggings with holes in the calf and knees as opposed to her usual pink jeans. There was shock and confusion in her tired, drooping eyes.

He watched in fascination as she closed her emotions off, (he didn't know she could do that; she was always such an open book), and drew herself up. As tired as she looked, a fire was burning in her eyes that reminded him vaguely of his lady. She walked up to him and he gulped. He didn't know what to expect, but it certainly had not been a quiet "excuse me," as she stood in front of him.

"Huh?" He said intelligently.

She gestured behind him. "You're standing in front of my locker. I need to get into it."

It was one of the most fluid sentences he had ever heard from her.

"Oh. Right. Sorry." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously and moved away from her, gripping his bag tightly.

"Um," Nino started.

"Right," Alya cut in. "We're uh, just gonna go. Let you guys chat it out."

Adrien would have appreciated the unintentional pun if he wasn't so nervous about the whole situation. He kept glancing at Marinette as if she were going to blow up or break down, but she just shrugged and entered her locker combination, clumsily opening it and dropping her books as she went through her daily routine.

She turned to look at him as the bell rang, raising a questioning eyebrow and asking, "Did you, uh - need something?"

Adrien didn't know what to think. Was she angry with him? Did she misinterpret his words? Did she even hear what he said, and if so, was she going to treat him in the same way that she did when they first met and the whole gum incident happened? (He wasn't sure if he could handle that).

But as the final bell rang, signaling that they should be in class, Adrien took the free pass for what it was and stumbled over his words in his haste to make his escape from those exhausted-looking and piercing blue eyes.

"Um – yeah, just… Uh. No. No. I'm just gonna go – now. So… Yeah." He pointed nervously to the door and backed slowly towards it.

Marinette watched him go, a flicker of amusement faintly overshadowing the sadness that she wasn't able to completely conceal from him.

As he was finally, finallyturning to the door, Marinette called out, "Hey, Adrian?"

He sighed, So close,and turned around abruptly. "Yeah," he said, rubbing the back of his neck again.

She was looking him straight-on, and her voice was as clear as it ever was when she was making a point to Chloe, "I'm sorry you feel that way about me."

"No, Marinette. That's not what – I meant." His voice trailed off as he realized that Marinette had turned back to her locker, completely dismissing him.

A/N: Two things: First: This was written before season two ever even came out. Second: I have not seen any of season two, nor any spoilers, therefore there is an excruciatingly large chance that this is nowhere near being canon-compliant.

Also, I am aware that the characters are probably OOC. I'm actually pretty sure that this is why I didn't post it in the first place, but then I found it on my computer today and decided, what the hell, I want some angst, and I want Adrien to be the actual cause of it, because (warning: unpopular opinion here) as much as I love Sunshine child, I don't think he's as perfect as everyone makes him out to be.

Let me know what you think (and if you decide you hate it, you can tell me that too - just be nice about it).