I address two headcanons of mine in this fic: 1) Pidge is scared of thunder, and 2) Lance can sew. Those have been addressed in other fics of mine as well, if anyone follows. I like to be consistent.
-1-
Pidge knew she was going to be late for training, but she was yet to find the power to move from the fetal position in which she crumpled to the floor several minutes ago. Her stomach just hurt so much. She woke up like this, thinking she could somehow pull through the day, but quiznak was she wrong. The pain just got worse as morning passed by, to the point that she couldn't even walk straight anymore.
Stupid period. Why did it have to keep torturing her in space? Couldn't all the wormhole jumps mess up her body in a way that would simply put the whole thing on hold? She assumed it was bad in the long run, but… well, she really hated feeling like her stomach was trying to eat her from the inside.
"Pidge?"
Pidge groggily raised her head and saw Lance, who stood in the hall a few feet away from her and watched her with evident concern.
Pidge's head dropped back to her chest. "I'm fine," she grunted. "Just… taking a little break."
"From walking down the hall?" Lance was clearly not impressed with her answer as he stepped closer and crouched in front of her. "C'mon, are you okay? You don't look so good."
"I'm fi – ahhh, quiznak," Pidge hissed and pressed a hand against her lower belly as another cramp shot through it. She just wanted Lance to go away and leave her to whine by herself.
But Lance didn't go away, nor seemed particularly shaken by her pitiful state. In fact, his expression softened in understanding. "Aw, you poor thing," he said. "Wait a minute, I'll just the others you aren't coming."
"Hey, I can – " Pidge started, but Lance already spoke into his comm. "Hey, Shiro? Pidge feels a little under the weather, so she won't show up for training today. I'll join you guys right after I take her back to her room."
"What happened to her?" Shiro's concerned tone was heard through the comm. "Does she need a pod?"
"No, no, it's nothing like that," Lance said lightly. "She just needs some rest and she'll be good as new."
Shiro waited a few moments before replying. "Alright. We're waiting for you. Tell Pidge I hope she feels better soon."
"No problem, boss," Lance chimed and turned off the comm, then turned back to Pidge. "You think you can walk all the way to your room or do you want a piggyback ride?"
Pidge felt her face heat up. "I can walk," she muttered. She was already embarrassed by Lance finding her literally dying on the floor – there was no need to make it worse by being carried like a toddler.
Lance shrugged. "Well, you're missing a wonderful ride on the Lancey train, but as you wish."
"I think I can live with that," Pidge deadpanned – or, at least she tried to, but it came out pretty lame because the second she tried to stand up the pain got about ten times worse and she had to brace a hand against the wall in order not to topple over. To Lance's credit, he didn't try to catch or support her in any way, although he did hover nearby, just in case.
They somehow made it back to her room and Pidge all but collapsed onto her bed with a groan. She wanted to sleep forever. And then eat all the chocolate in the universe. But sleep first.
However, Lance kept interrupting her plans as he said, "Alright, first things first. Do you have enough pads? Because if you don't this can get kinda messy, you know."
Pidge's head perked up at once. She was pretty sure the color of her face matched that of Keith's lion, but Lance only laughed.
"Oh, do me a favor, Pidge. I have three sisters back at home, not to mention all my girl cousins. I honestly don't think there was a single week when someone was not on her period. You could say I've become some sort of an expert by now."
Pidge opened her mouth only to close it again a few seconds later. That… actually made a lot of sense.
"I do have pads," she finally managed to say in a strained voice. She had snuck into the infirmary earlier and found some bandages that weren't exactly the real thing, but looked like they would do the job.
"That's good," Lance said, and Pidge silently thanked him for not prodding any further. "Now we need something to ease the pain. Coran gave me this really cool heat pack after I was released from cryo to warm up my body faster, and I just kept it in my room since then because it's nice to sleep with. Want me to fetch it for you? It stays warm for, like, half a day."
Pidge's eyes widened. That sounded amazing. "Yes please," she blurted out. Back on Earth she always snuggled hot water bottles whenever her stomach hurt and it was the best thing ever.
Lance smiled. "Cool. Be right back," he said and hurried back into the hall, a bounce in his step.
Pidge let her head fall back on the bed as she tried to understand what the hell was happening right now. She already knew Lance was a nice guy (despite his awful sense of humor) who loved to help others, but his quick observation of the situation and his ability to sense exactly what she needed left her rather speechless. After all, he was the only one who hadn't figured out she was a girl; she didn't expect him to suddenly be so insightful.
Geez, people were so much more confusing than computers.
Her train of thought was cut when Lance came back, holding what looked like a regular, white pillow. "You need to press here," he explained and gestured at a small grey button at the center of the pillow, "and it gets all warm and toasty right away." He handed the pillow to Pidge and she placed it against her stomach, sighing in content as warmth spread through her abdomen. It didn't make the pain disappear completely, but it was an instant relief from the horrible cramps from before.
"Thanks," she breathed. "I… I think I'm going to keep it for eternity."
"We have a whole closet of these, so I'm not worried," Lance said in amusement. "Also, if you want to, I'll talk to Coran later and ask him about some pain medication. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to explain him the symptoms, so don't worry about that."
"Just make sure he doesn't give me Nunvil."
Lance shuddered. "Agh, please don't remind me. I'd rather get blown up than drink this hot-dog-water-and-feet potion again."
Pidge snored, a smile finally creeping into her lips. "Thanks, Lance," she said. "It's… it's nice of you to take care of me like that."
"Of course I'm taking care of you, Pidge, you're my gal," Lance winked at her playfully.
Pidge rolled her eyes. "You didn't even realize I was a girl until I told you so."
This time it was Lance's turn to blush all the way to the tips of his ears, and Pidge couldn't help but feel a smug satisfaction. "Hey, you did a really good job hiding it back at the Garrison!" he called indignantly. "I bet you kept your pads so deep in you bag that I had to dig all the stuff out of it to find them, and I never dared to do so because I knew you'd murder me."
"You were right about that," Pidge smirked and Lance glared at her, although there was no real heat in his eyes.
"Hey Pidge," he said, his voice softer. "Why didn't you tell anyone about feeling unwell? I know most of us are just a bunch of stinky boys, but you could have at least told Allura."
Pidge sighed and curled a bit tighter around her heat pack. "I didn't know if Altean females have the concept of menstrual cycle," she admitted. "And I just thought… I don't know, it felt weird to ask. I'm not very good at all this, um, girl talk."
Lance sent her a reassuring smile. "That's okay," he said. "But still, you should have at least one person on the ship you can trust with those things. It's not good to suffer through it all alone."
Pidge was yet again surprised by how clever Lance could be sometimes. "Yeah, that's a good point," she said faintly.
"I always make good points, you guys just never listen," Lance said with a pout and Pidge chuckled.
"Fine. I promise I'll come to you the next time I feel like shit. I guess that out of all the stinky boys here, you are the… least stinky."
Lance placed a hand on his chest in a dramatic gesture. "This is probably the nicest thing you've ever told me," he said chokingly, almost causing Pidge to throw her heat pack at him. Almost. She needed it too much.
Still, it felt nice to have someone to look out for her and make her laugh and help her forget how miserable and in pain she was, if only for a while.
It almost felt like home.
-2-
Pidge didn't bother to take her eyes off her tablet when she heard the kitchen doors slide open. She has been working on this code all morning and her frustration was only growing stronger by the minute. The only thing that kept her from throwing the tablet to the other side of the room was a huge jar of fake peanut butter Hunk had magically concocted the day before, from which she was currently busy shoving spoonful after spoonful into her mouth.
"Pidge, this was supposed to become peanut butter cookies for everyone," she heard Lance's scolding voice. She raised her eyes and nearly choked on her spoon at the sight of the blue paladin, who had a towel wrapped around his head and something that looked like yellow food goo spread all over his face.
"I think your face mask will make even better cookies," she said, sucking on the last bits of peanut butter with emphasis.
Lance crossed his arms. "Whatever. You don't get to touch my perfectly smooth skin after I wash this down."
"Just the thought of it makes me want to puke this delicious peanut butter," Pidge said dryly and looked back at the lines of code. "Now leave me alone. I'm trying to crack this thing." She absently raised her other hand to scratch at a huge pimple that was stuck right between her eyes and made her even more frustrated. She normally didn't care too much about her looks, but quiznak this thing was huge.
"What are you doing?!" Lance yelled and lunged forward, catching her wrist just before she was about to touch her forehead.
Pidge squawked and swatted his hand. "Dude, what the cheese?!"
"You can't scratch at pimples! You'll only make it worse! It'll scar!" Lance placed his hands on his hips in a manner that suddenly reminded Pidge very much of her mother. "Don't you know anything?!"
Pidge felt her cheeks heat up. "I know a lot of things!" she retorted. "Important things, not all sorts of cosmetics shit!"
Lance rolled his eyes. "That's it. You're coming with me, right now." He grabbed her wrist again and pulled her off the chair, her spoon clattering loudly to the floor.
"Hey!" Pidge tried to wriggle herself free, but Lance's grip was surprisingly strong. "Let me go! I'm in the middle of something!"
"You can take a five-minute break, the universe won't collapse," Lance said, all but dragging Pidge out of the kitchen and into the hallway. She had to practically run to keep up with him, as his legs were much longer than hers.
"You're not going to give me some sort of alien beauty treatment, right?" she groaned. "Because I am not putting this crap on my face."
"Relax, I'm not going to touch your troll face at all," Lance said without looking backwards. Pidge tried to kick him in the shin but nearly stumbled in the process.
They reached Lance's room several minutes later and he finally released her aching wrist. He made a beeline to his nightstand and opened the first drawer, finding what he was looking for in an instant and raising his arm victoriously.
"Here." He opened his palm and showed Pidge a small blue tube. "This thing is amazing for pimples and blemishes. There's no need to spread it all over your face – you just put a tiny bit on your finger, apply it to the spot, and the whole thing just vanishes after a few vargas. Trust me, this is like Altean magic. Also, it's transparent, so no one will notice you put it on."
Pidge stared at the tube in confusion. That sounded… surprisingly helpful.
Lance huffed out a breath. "Come on, just take it. I barely use it because I have perfect skin, but hey, you never know when there will be an emergency." He placed the tube in Pidge's palm and folded her fingers around it. "Now you can go back to your boring code."
Pidge cleared her throat, trying to remember how to form words. "Ah, thanks," she said awkwardly. "I – I'll go try it now."
"Good girl." Lance ruffled her hair and she jerked away with a scowl. He didn't seem to mind though, as a huge grin spread on his face and he said, "Now, how about we try some make up next time? Allura has this really nice concealer and, no offense, but you could use something to cover the bags under your eyes, you kinda look like a racoon – "
"My eyes look just fine, thank you!" Pidge blurted out and fled the room before he could go any further.
Stupid Lance and his stupid ideas, she thought as she stomped down the hall. He sure knew a lot about those things for a boy. She could definitely use this fact for future taunting - once she was able to wrap her mind around whatever just happened, of course.
However, by the time the evening came and her pimple was completely gone, she suddenly wasn't in the mood for taunting anymore.
-3-
"That's it. I officially give up," Pidge announced and crawled back from where she had spent the past hour tinkering with an assortment of cables and wires. "I have no idea how to hook up this game." She stretched her aching back with a groan.
Lance's shoulders dropped. "Oh man, that sucks balls. We've spent our entire fortune on that thing and we can't even start it up!"
"Well, technically it wasn't our fortune, but yeah, owning an original copy of 'Killbot Phantasm I' and not being able to play it is indeed a tragedy." Pidge sighed and pushed her glasses up her nose. "So, since we're game-less, what else do you want to – "
She was cut off by a sudden rumbling noise, so powerful it made Lance's room shake for a few seconds.
"What the quiznak was that?!" Lance shrieked, nearly toppling to the side. "Did the castle just explode or what?!"
Coran's voice rang through the castle's PA system just as Lance finished talking. "Good afternoon, dear paladins! I would like to bring to your attention that we have just encountered an extremely powerful thunderstorm! No need to panic, as the castle is perfectly built to handle this amount of energy, but things might get a little bumpy for the next varga or so, so I strongly advice you all to remain seated as long as it lasts!"
"I didn't even know they have thunderstorms in space," Lance muttered and sank back on the carpet. "Anyway, looks like we're going to be stuck here for a while – um, Pidge?"
He looked around in confusion as the green paladin seemed to have simply vanished from the room. "Pidge?! Where the hell did you go?!" he called, a hint of panic in his voice.
His gaze landed on his bed and he narrowed his eyes in suspicion, because right in the middle of it there was a lump of blankets that was definitely not there before.
"Pidge?" he asked carefully, but then another thunder boomed in the distance and the lump wavered in its place.
Lance chuckled and hopped on the bed, placing a hand on the blankets. "Hey, come on, what are you doing in there? You've heard Coran, it's just a thunderstorm, there is nothing to be afraid of."
There was a minute of silence before Pidge replied, voice shaky and muffled under the blankets. "I don't like thunder."
"Well I'm not a fan either, but it's just noise. It's harmless."
"I don't care. I have absolutely no intention to get out before it's over."
Lance smiled. "Aw, you really are scared of thunder, aren't you? That's so cute."
"Shut up!" Pidge reached out a hand out of the blanket cocoon and smacked Lance's knee, but Lance only chuckled again. "Hey, I'm not judging. My baby sister was pretty scared of thunder too. Whenever there was a thunderstorm she would always run into my room and cling to me like a sloth." He paused, his smile softening. "Sometimes I would sing to her in Spanish; it was the best way to calm her down. Do you want a song?"
"No thank you," Pidge mumbled. She was glad he couldn't see how hard she blushed under the blankets.
"Are you sure? My mom used to say I had the voice of an angel."
"Maybe the angel of death."
"Hey, that's rude!"
"Then stop coming up with these weird suggestions already – eeeee!" Pidge squealed as another thunder rocked the castle, so loud that the lights flickered for a brief second. Before she knew it, she leapt out of blankets and bumped straight into Lance's chest, burying her face in his shirt.
"Whoa, easy there," Lance said, clearly not ready for this.
Pidge scrunched her face. "I'm sorry. I know it's stupid, and you can laugh at me all you want once this is over, but until then, please don't go. Please." She hated how pathetic and clingy she sounded, but she just couldn't help it. She honestly felt that if she let go of Lance's shirt even for a moment, she would fall into an endless abyss and nobody would ever catch her.
She felt hands rest on her back and flinched instinctively; but Lance's hands were gentle and comforting and she relaxed into the touch a few seconds later.
"I'm not going anywhere," she felt Lance's chest vibrate as he spoke. "And I'm not going to laugh at you, Pidge, come on, what kind of guy do you think I am?"
Pidge sighed. "Sorry. I guess I'm just... used to deal with it on my own."
"Wait, that's what you did back at home?"
"Yeah, pretty much. Whenever there was a thunderstorm I'd just hide under my desk and wait for it to pass." When she younger she used to run and hide in Matt's room, or wait for him to come to her if she was too scared to move. He always came, always was there to hold her and pet her hair and tell her everything was going to be alright.
But then he left for the Garrison and got lost in space and she no longer had someone to make the fear go away.
Lance hummed. "Well, that's not right. From now on you're not going to deal with it alone. Next time there's a thunderstorm, you can come to me and cry all you want."
Pidge pounded Lance's chest with one fist. "I wasn't crying!"
Lance laughed lightly. "I know, I'm just messing with you." Another thunder rolled outside the castle and Lance tightened his grip around Pidge as a shiver ran through her spine.
"You know," he said after a moment of thought. "Cuddling is nice and all, but I think you need some real distraction."
Pidge frowned. "I already said no singing."
"Alright, alright, I get it. How about a story then? I can tell you about the time my sister broke my nose."
The last sentence was enough to make Pidge raise her head from her hideout in Lance's shirt and stare at him. "Which sister?"
"The small one."
"The one who's also afraid of thunder?"
"Yep. But don't get any ideas, you hear me?"
Pidge bit her lower lip, eyes nearly tearing from an attempt not to laugh. "I can't promise anything."
Only a couple of vargas later, when the storm was finally over, Pidge realized she didn't recall hearing any thunder during Lance's story.
-4-
Allura's bedroom, which was usually the epitome of order and tidiness, was nothing but a giant pile of clothes at the moment – clothes that were scattered across the floor, lay crumpled on the bed or simply dangled out of half-open drawers and cabinets. Pidge was standing right in the middle of it and was this close to pulling at her own hair from frustration.
They were supposed to attend a very important diplomatic dinner in two quintents, and Allura had insisted they'd all wear something more festive than their usual paladin armor. "The Plenovians love to throw big, extravagant celebrations, and they treat every single detail with the utmost importance," she said. "That includes, or course, the participants' appearances. We cannot come to the feast looking like we just finished battling the Galra; it will be considered highly disrespectful and thus will harm our efforts of forming an alliance. I expect all of you to make use of the abundant wardrobe we have here at the castle and assemble a decent look for this occasion."
She then bent down to Pidge and winked, a gesture that always sent the green paladin leaning back in suspicion. "As for you, Pidge, I'm afraid the castle is a bit short in women's clothing; but you are more than welcome to borrow some items from my personal closet! I still have all my dresses from the time I was a young girl about your size, so I'm sure you'll find something to your liking!"
Pidge appreciated Allura's willingness to share her clothes with her (even if she sounded a little too enthusiastic about the idea, which was kind of disturbing); she really did. However, her despair only grew as she spent the entire afternoon in the princess's bedroom, digging through the numerous clothes and accessories.
It wasn't like Pidge had anything against dresses – she even owned one or two of these back on Earth – but she always preferred light, simple dresses in plain colors, like light purple or blue or her usual green; Allura's childhood dresses, on the other hand, were… well, Pidge hated to use the word tacky, but that was exactly what they were, all frills and ribbons and puff sleeves and so, so much pink. She already knew Allura was fond of this color, but child Allura was obsessed with it.
Pidge held another awfully pink dress in front of her, stared at it for a moment, then tossed it over her shoulder with a groan. At this rate she would either go to the feast in her pajamas or simply pretend to be sick and stay at the castle.
"Hey Allura, I'm all out of foot cream," Pidge jumped in her place as the bedroom's door suddenly open and inside walked no other than Lance. "Would you be so kind to give me more of this amazing – Pidge! What are you doing here?"
Pidge frowned. "Were you seriously just talking about foot cream?"
"Of course! Altean stuff really does wonders to your dry feet! You should totally try it!" Lance kicked one shoe off and wriggled his toes at Pidge's face, and she jerked away in disgust. "I think I'll pass," she hissed.
"Your loss. Whoa," Lance's eyes widened as he caught the sight of the room, "Did you just try to destroy Allura's entire wardrobe?"
Pidge blushed in spite of herself. "I was just looking for something to wear for this stupid dinner," she muttered. "But I think I'll end up going naked."
Lance let out a shriek of laughter. "I'm sure it's not that bad. I mean, look at all these clothes!" he scanned the room, eyes practically sparkling. "God, my sisters would kill to be here right now. They're addicted to makeovers."
"I don't need a makeover," Pidge said through gritted teeth. Why did every conversation with Lance had to come to that at some point?
"Of course you don't, you're perfect as you are," Lance picked up the dress Pidge had thrown earlier. "But you're going to look even more perfect in this! Come on, it's so cute!"
Pidge snatched the dress out of his hands, blushing even harder. "Lance, I'll look like a cupcake in this!"
"So? Everybody loves cupcakes."
Pidge sank on the bed with an exasperated breath. "It's just… it's just not me," she said in a small voice. "Allura may look good in this dolled-up style, but I'll just look like Phenoa from Shrek."
Lance's lips wobbled and Pidge grabbed a nearby purple sweater and flung it at his face. "Stop laughing already! If you don't have any useful advice, get out of here and leave me alone!"
Lance coughed, barely composing himself. "Sorry, sorry. But hey, for the record, Pheona is a total badass."
Pidge sighed. "Thanks, but that doesn't really help me find something to wear."
Lance rested his thumb on his chin, scanning the room again with a thoughtful expression. His eyes lay on a small pile of silky clothes at the far corner of the room and widened in resolution. "You know, I think I have an idea," he said slowly.
"Lance, these are adult Allura's clothes, I'll drown in them." Pidge had taken them out earlier in hopes of finding something that would be somewhat close to her size, but these hopes have quickly vanished as she rummaged through the way-too-long gowns and robes.
Lance scowled and clicked his tongue. "Geez, Pidge, have some faith, okay? Just give me 24 hours and I'll make the outfit of your dreams. I promise."
Pidge was not sure she wanted to know what exactly Lance has meant by 'the outfit of her dreams', but frankly, at this point she was desperate enough to try anything.
"Fine," she said with narrowed eyes. "But don't try anything funny."
"When have I ever tried anything funny?" Lance fluttered his eyelashes at her and she slapped her forehead, already regretting about joining in whatever he was planning.
-X-
The next day, when Pidge was in Green's hangar working on some improvements to her cloaking system, Lance walked in with a neatly folded package in his hands. "Yo, Pidge! I've been looking all around the castle for you!" he yelled.
Pidge slowly crawled from under Green's control panel and peeked outside. "What is it? I'm kinda busy right now."
"That's a surprise." Lance held out his arms, showing her the package, which was wrapped in a forest-green cloth. "But I'm done with your outfit for tomorrow, so can you please take a little break from whatever nerdy thing you're doing in there and try it on?"
Pidge sucked in a breath. She nearly forgot about the stupid dinner. With an equal mix of curiosity and dread she descended the ramp coming out of Green's mouth and stood in front of Lance, gingerly taking the package from his hands. The cloth was extremely light and soft to the touch, which helped ease some of her anxiety, but not all of it.
Lance scrunched his nose. "For the love of quiznak, Pidge, it's just clothes. They won't bite you. All I did was take some of Allura's old stuff – she told me she didn't wear them anymore, so she didn't mind - and make some adjustments so they'll fit your size. Also, I found some shoes I thought would go with these colors. Nothing funny, I swear."
That did sound pretty harmless, but Pidge still couldn't quite bring herself to unfold the package. "How did you make these, um, adjustments?" she murmured.
Lance shrugged. "Allura showed me this weird device that I guess was the Altean equivalent of a sewing machine. It took me some time to get used to, but I think I did a decent job at the end."
Pidge's head shot up in surprise. "You can sew?" she blurted out. She definitely did not see thatcoming.
Lance nodded. "A-ha. My abuela taught me when I was a kid. She tried to teach some of my older siblings as well, but I was the only one who actually enjoyed it, so I ended up helping her fix all of the family's clothes. Which was… a lot of clothes. Gosh, all these sock holes," He smiled fondly at the memory. "I even helped fix my sister's prom dress. It was too long for her; my mom got really pissed and yelled at her for buying it in the first place, but I managed to do a nice hem and save the day."
Pidge suddenly felt the urge to sit down. Lance could sew? Her Lance? The guy who once volunteered to replace Hunk at making dinner since the latter had a migraine, and burned half the kitchen down because he failed in operating the oven even though they'd hung a paper with English instructions next to it?
Just when she thought space couldn't get any weirder.
Lance quirked an eyebrow. "I kinda want to say you'll catch a fly, but I have no idea if we even have flies in the castle."
Only then Pidge realized her mouth was open. She closed it so fast it hurt her jaw. "I'll go… change in my lion," she managed to say and retreated back to Green's cockpit.
"Take your time!" Lance waved at her. "I'll be here!"
Once Green's front door closed Pidge released a long breath and unfolded the package in her hands. The forest-green cloth turned out to be one of the dresses she saw yesterday and tossed aside without a second look because they were clearly too big for her; only now it was a lot shorter, more like a tunic than an actual dress, and the sleeves were also thinner and lacked the purple embroidery she spotted yesterday on the edges. Aside from this there was also a pair of plain, light grey leggings, and a pair of brown flat boots with thin, golden buckles.
Pidge could only stare at the set of clothes in front of her. The tunic and leggings were similar to items she had in her closet back on Earth; as for the boots, well, gold wasn't exactly her thing, but it was very subtle and frankly, out of all the shoes she had seen in Allura's room, those were probably the most decent ones (and they didn't have heels, thank the universe).
She had no other way to phrase it – Lance has nailed this look.
She quickly changed out of her regular clothes and into the new ones. The leggings were pretty tight, but not uncomfortably, and ended right above her ankles; the tunic was a bit loose around the waist, but the length was perfect (it ended somewhere around her mid-thigh) and the collar and sleeves fit nicely to her thin shoulders and arms, so she assumed she could find a decent belt to tie it up; and the boots were exactly the size of her feet - She didn't even have to change out of her current socks.
Pidge twirled in her place once, relishing in the feeling of the silky cloth against her body. She felt lighter than she had in many days. She felt… it was almost too embarrassing to admit it, even to herself, but she felt pretty. She wondered if she looked pretty, too. The cockpit didn't have a mirror, so she would have to judge by Lance's reaction. She suddenly didn't feel so uncomfortable to walk outside and face him.
She opened Green's front door and stood at the head of the ramp. "It looks fine," she called, trying to contain the excitement in her voice, "but I think I need a belt or something, my waist is too thin for this tunic."
Lance's face lit up when he saw her and he all but squeaked, "Oh my gosh, Pidge! You look adorable!"
Pidge instantly blushed again, cursing Lance internally for ruining the moment. "Don't use that word!"
"Oh, come on, why not?"
"Because I'm not a baby!" Pidge flared.
Lance rolled his eyes. "Fine. Party pooper." The smile did not leave his face though. "But you look really, really nice."
"Yeah?" Pidge laughed nervously and ran a hand through her hair.
"Absolutely," Lance said sincerely. "I mean, yes, the middle part could use some improvement, but I'm sure we can find a nice belt to fix it. I think I even saw in one of the drawers a brown belt that would go with the boots."
"Sounds good to me," Pidge said. "Wanna go check it now so we can get this over with?"
"Yes! And… maybe some make up after that?" Lance offered hopefully.
Pidge stuck out her tongue in response. "Don't push your luck."
"Argh, fine. I tried. You're hopeless."
"I honestly don't understand why you want me to put make up so much. Not to mention all your weird masks and lotions… you're basically a middle-aged woman with a penis."
"And you're a filthy ogre trapped in the body of a fifteen-year-old human girl."
That sounded fair.
"Hey, Lance?"
"Hmm?"
Pidge squeezed Lance's arm. "Thank you. For-for doing all of this for me." She chewed the inside of her cheek. "And… for not making a big deal out of it."
Lance sent her a crooked smile. "It was my pleasure. And for what it's worth, I still think you should give the cupcake dress another shot."
Pidge immediately let go of his arm. "How about you wear it if you like it so much?"
"Only if you put Allura's foot cream on your face for a whole day. It smells like onions."
Pidge pinched the bridge of her nose. "I hate betting with you." That was a lie; she actually enjoyed these bickerings very much. She has been missing having someone to bicker with for so long.
But there was no way she was going to tell that to Lance, or she would somehow find herself standing in the shower and trying to wash the stench of onions off her face.
-5-
Pidge leaned closer to the screen even though it made her squint her eyes uncomfortably. This couldn't be right. There had to be some sort of mistake. There had to be at least one result.
But she has just finished running the search for the fifth time now, and it ended the same way like the previous four.
Nothing.
She spent the entire night searching the names of her father and brother through the Galran database they had stolen in their last mission. The database that, according to their intel, was supposed to include a list of all the Galra's prisons, labor camps, arenas and any other place they kept prisoners in. It was the ultimate list of all the prisoners in the Galra Empire, and as such, it was heavily secured; Pidge had to crack all the encryptions programmed into it before she could run her search. It took her all night, but she didn't care; she had sworn to stay glued to her chair until she was finished, not bothering to get up even for toilet breaks.
But now her search was finally over. For the fifth time.
And it had zero results.
Neither Samuel nor Matt Holt existed in that database.
Pidge rolled a lock of messy hair around her finger and bit hard on it, blinking rapidly in attempt to push back tears of frustration and exhaustion.
This could mean one of two things.
One, there was another level of security she hadn't breached yet, another form of encryption she hadn't cracked; in that case, she would have to go back and check every single line of her code from the beginning.
Or two, the list only included names of live prisoners, considering that those who had died mattered very little to the Galran war industry. So if her father and brother's names were not there…
Pidge shot up to a stand, so suddenly her chair slipped back and crashed to the floor. No. There was no way in the universe she would accept it. Her code must have been wrong. This was the only explanation. Her father and brother couldn't be… couldn't be…
Suddenly the huge lab felt very small, the walls closing in on her. The blue light of the screen hurt her eyes and made her feel like somebody was holding a firework show inside her head. She needed to get out of here. She needed air. But only for a few minutes; then she would have to come back and start over.
She stumbled her way to the door, legs nearly buckling beneath her. Black spots danced in front of her eyes but she forced herself to keep moving forward, she couldn't stay here a minute longer, four more steps to the door, three more steps, two, one…
The doors slid open and she all but spilled into the hallway, hissing at the bright lights after being locked for so long in the dark lab. A wave of bile rose in her throat, but she forced it down with sheer will, bracing a shaking hand against the wall.
The bathroom. She only had to make it to the bathroom. She'd wash her face and come back to the lab. The pounding in her head grew worse with each step. It wasn't far, it was just at the end of the hallway. She could do this.
"Will you look at that! Someone's up early!"
Pidge barely managed to turn her heavy head at the direction of the voice. Lance was heading towards her, wearing his pajamas and lion slippers, as if he'd just woke up.
"S'up, girl? I rarely see you all dressed up and ready at this hour – whoa, Pidge, are you alright?" Lance's grin rapidly faltered as he got closer and took in the sight of the green paladin.
Pidge tried to nod, but the movement made her dizzy and she had to take a deep breath. "I'm fine," she said mechanically. "I'm just working on something at the lab, that's all." She prayed Lance would take a hint and go away. She really was in no shape to talk to anyone at the moment.
Lance's eyes widened. "Have you been there all night?" So much for taking a hint.
"Not all night… I… it doesn't matter," Pidge found it harder and harder to form a coherent sentence. She really needed to wash her face. "It's fine, okay? I just need a little break."
"No, you need to go to bed," Lance stood right in front of her, hands planted firmly on his hips. "I don't care what you're doing in there; it can wait until you get at least six hours of sleep."
"Let me through," Pidge grunted and tried to walk past Lance, but he easily blocked her as his instincts were way better than hers at the moment. "Lance!" she yelled. "I'm not kidding, man! Out of my way!"
"No, Pidge, you need to sleep!"
"Don't you dare tell me what I need!"
"But I'm worried about you! Have you looked at the mirror recently?! You look like shit!"
"I give a quiznak about how I look!"
"Pidge, I love you and all, but you really don't know what you're saying right now – "
"That's right! I don't know anything!" Pidge screamed and swung a fist at the wall, not caring about the burning pain that burst through her hand. "I'm trying to know more, but I'm failing! Every! Single! Time!"
She finally sank to the floor, unable to stay upright anymore. The tears from before were back in her eyes and this time she didn't bother to stop them, letting them fall freely as her entire body was wrecked with sobs.
She felt Lance sink to sit beside her. "Pidge?" he asked in the gentlest voice she has ever heard him use. "What are you talking about?"
But Pidge couldn't find the power to answer him. She couldn't speak anymore, couldn't think anymore. She could only sit there and cry, and the last thing she remembered before her world went dark was a pair of long arms wrapping about her body and holding her close.
-X-
The next time Pidge opened her eyes, she was lying in what she recognized a few seconds later as her own bed. She had no memory of getting to her room, but the heaviness in her bones – the kind you got after a long, deep slumber – indicated she has been lying there for a while now.
"Good morning, sleeping beauty."
Pidge turned her head and saw Lance, who was siting against the opposite wall of the room with various items scattered around him: a tablet, his music player, his headphones (which were technically her headphones), several water pouches and what looked like a half-eaten sandwich.
Pidge squinted her eyes at him. "Did you just watch me sleep?" Wow, her voice sounded terrible. Like she got a cold and tried to treat it by eating sand.
Lance sighed and pulled himself up, grabbing a water pouch. "Yes, but not the way you think, you perv." He crouched by her bed and handed her the pouch. "Did you seriously think I'd leave you alone after all that?"
After what? Pidge wrinkled her forehead. The last thing she remembered was sitting in her lab and then – oh. Oh. Her face instantly grew very hot, to the point she thought smoke was going to come out of her ears. She had a total meltdown back there, and Lance had witnessed it all. He'd probably carried her back to her room, too. So pathetic.
As if reading her thoughts, Lance huffed out a chuckle and shook his head. "It's okay. It wasn't the first time I had to carry a crying child to bed."
Pidge tried to elbow him but he evaded it easily. "I'm not a child."
"No, but you sure weigh like one. Now drink up. Slowly. And only half of it, for now. If you gobble it all at once you'll throw up and I'm not cleaning after you."
Pidge raised her eyebrows at the suddenly commanding tone, but took the pouch and sucked on it without saying a word. The cool water felt wonderful against her sore throat, and she nearly whined in protest when Lance pried the pouch out of her grip just as she reached the middle of it.
"So, I guess I got my six hours of sleep?" Pidge asked half-jokingly.
Lance carefully set the pouch on the floor next to him. "Well, considering it's already past dinner time, it was more like… thirteen hours, more or less."
Pidge's eyes widened. "I was asleep for thirteen hours?!" She didn't think she'd ever reached that number, not even back at home. "And you… you've been here the whole time?" she whispered.
"Well, Hunk came to bring me stuff a couple of times, but yeah." Lance stretched his arms above his head, cracking his neck several times. "Don't worry, I didn't tell the others about what happened," he added quickly as he noticed her expression. "But I did have to give some sort of explanation about why the hell you fainted in the middle of the hallway, so I just said you had a really bad stomach bug and that I was going to nurse you until you sweated it out. They didn't seem too happy to help with that, so I guess it satisfied them."
Pidge's jaw twitched. While she wasn't exactly crazy about the idea of the others picturing her hurling into a bucket, she had to admit it was a pretty good cover story. "Thanks… I guess." She murmured.
"You're welcome." Lance crossed his legs and leaned his chin on his palms. "Now, do you want to tell me what exactly happened back at the lab?" he asked, looking right into her eyes.
Pidge bit her lower lip. Even though she felt a lot more refreshed after a good night (well, day) sleep, she still wasn't sure she was ready to talk about it. But Lance has done so much for her – the least she could do was give him the reason for all this trouble.
"I searched my dad and Matt's names in that prisoner list we found in our last mission," she said, staring down at her blanket. "And… there were no results. At all. Either I fucked up the decryption somehow or they – they – " she took a shuddering breath and clenched the blankets, but a sharp pain shot through her right hand at the movement and she suddenly noticed it was bandaged, albeit sloppily. She frowned. How did that happen? She was so disoriented back then she didn't even recall getting hurt.
"Hey, stop that," Lance placed his palm on her left hand. "Look, I know it really sucks you didn't find them, but the fact they're not on the list doesn't mean they're not out there somewhere."
"Lance, this list includes all the living prisoners of the Galra Empire," Pidge said desperately. "If they're not on it anymore…" her throat seized and she raised her gaze to the ceiling. She was not going to burst into tears again.
"No," Lance said with emphasis and squeezed her hand. "There can be a million reasons for them not to be on that list, Pidge. Maybe it doesn't really include all the prisoners; maybe they'd found a way to remove their names from it because they somehow managed to escape and didn't want to be tracked. I'm pretty sure that if anyone can do it, it would be someone from your family." He smiled gently. "Look, Pidge, I know you tend to trust in computers more than people, but sometimes the technology doesn't have all the answers. Sometimes it's just numbers that have nothing to do with reality. So yeah, I refuse to conclude anything about your family from a stupid, outdated list, because this is not how it's supposed to end. Not if I have any say in it."
Pidge's eyes watered again, and it took all she had to choke out, "You really think so?"
"I know so. You're going to find both your father and your brother, and it's going to be the sappiest family reunion ever, just like in the telenovelas my mom used to watch after lunch."
Pidge released a short laugh – or another sob, she wasn't entirely sure what it was – and wiped her eyes with her left arm. "O-okay. If you say so."
"I'm glad you finally got it. Now, here's what's going to happen," Lance raised a hand and started to count with his fingers. "One, you're going to finish that water pouch. Two, you're going to eat the food goo Hunk brought here a while ago, the whole ball," he emphasized as Pidge made a face, "And three, you're going to take a nice, long, hot shower. Then, and only then, you can go and do whatever you want." His eyes lay on her right hand and he flinched, as if suddenly remembering something. "Oh, and you might want to go and check that hand at the infirmary. I don't really know how to treat somebody who had tried to punch a wall."
"I'm definitely going to do all the things you just said, but first I have to do something else," Pidge said.
"Oh yeah? And what would that be?"
Pidge leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Lance, resting her chin on his shoulder.
"Thank you," she murmured. "For being here for me." she dug her fingers into his jacket. "I… I honestly don't know what I'd do here without you."
"Probably go live in the lab until you died from your own smell," Lance said lightly, but gathered Pidge in his arms nonetheless, pulling her close.
Pidge snored but didn't let go. "I'm serious. I… I know I don't say this enough, but you're an amazing big brother and I love you."
"Daw, Pidge, stop it, you're going to make me cry," Lance giggled, and Pidge rolled her eyes. The moment was officially ruined. Again.
"Seriously though," Lance added more quietly. "You know I'll always be here for you no matter what, but don't… don't stay up all night like this again, okay? You're going to run yourself ragged, and that won't do anything to help find your family. I'm sure they wouldn't want you to hurt yourself for them, either."
Pidge sighed. "You're probably right."
"You bet I am."
Pidge smiled against Lance's shoulder. She was going to find her family. After all, she had another family right here with her to help and support her through it; how could she possibly fail?
-1-
The castle was quiet in this late evening hour, as most of its residents have already excused themselves to their rooms. Today was their last day in the planet they'd been visiting for the past week, and the farewell parade the people of Araxia have thrown for them was rather vivacious. The paladins appreciated the gesture, of course, but the whole thing was rather tiring and they were all glad to come back to the peaceful haven of the castle at the end of the day.
But Pidge had one more thing to do before she was off to bed as well. She had a hole in one of her socks and she wanted to take it to Lance so he would fix it (she was more than keen about exploiting him ever since she found out he could sew). Sure, she could just grab another pair from the castle's enormous clothing storage, but those particular socks once belonged to Matt and had green dots on them, so she wasn't willing to give them up so easily.
After not finding Lance in his bedroom nor in the bathroom, where she expected him to perform his relentless beauty routine, Pidge roamed about the castle for nearly half an hour until she finally found him in the crystal room. He was sitting on the floor, leaning against the control panel and staring at the star maps that swirled across the windows.
"There you are," she called and approached to sit by his side. "What are you doing here so late? I thought you'd already be in the middle of your beauty sleep by now."
Lance turned his head slowly at her and blinked, as if only now realizing she was there. "Oh, hey Pidge," he muttered, his voice faint. "What… what do you need?"
Pidge raised the sock she was holding. "Can you fix this hole for me? I don't want to throw it away." She frowned at Lance's somber expression. Was is just her, or did his eyes look redder than usual? "Not now, of course. In fact, I think you should go to bed now."
Lance took the sock and shoved it into his jacket pocket. "Sure, whatever," he sighed and returned his gaze to the stars, pulling his knees to his chest.
Pidge only grew more suspicious by his resignation. This was not like Lance at all. "Hey, what's wrong?" she asked quietly. "And don't tell me 'nothing' because you're good at many things, Lance, but lying isn't one of them."
Lance waved one hand dismissively. "Just thinking about the planet we just left, that's all."
"Araxia?" Pidge had no idea what about it could bother Lance so much. "Why?"
Lance shrugged. "Nothing. Nevermind. It's dumb."
"Lance." Pidge started to get annoyed. "You've seen me losing my shit during a thunderstorm, so I think we're way past 'dumb' at this point."
Lance sighed again, closing his eyes for a moment. "It's just that… you saw how big the nursery in the palace was, right? They had at least twenty kids in there. I guess it's just weird for me to come back to the castle after spending a whole week in that place. It feels so quiet all of sudden. I know it's always been like that, but now I realize just how quiet it is. And it's… depressing." He hugged his knees a bit closer.
Pidge's shoulders dropped. Of course that was what it was all about. Lance has spent the better part of the week hanging with the younger members of the royal Araxian family, always the first to volunteer babysitting them while their parents were busy with official dinners and negotiations. He played with them for hours and took a bunch of selfies and seemed to never get enough of it, not even after some of the smaller ones took a liking to climbing on him and hanging off his arms like monkeys. Pidge winced whenever she saw it happen, but Lance looked like he was having the time of his life, shrieking with laughter after he toppled to the ground and got buried by a pile of way-too-energetic Araxian toddlers.
When their time to leave finally came, the group of kids all but clang to his legs and waist, crying and begging for him to stay. But Lance gently wriggled himself out of their grip and explained – with a patience Pidge didn't know he was capable of – that he had to go and keep doing heroic stuff around the universe to help cute kids just like them, and promised to come visit as soon as possible. Pidge was rather impressed with how he handled the whole thing, and assumed he was just used to dealing with crying children, as he once told her himself.
She didn't stop to think about the possibility that this departure has hurt Lance's feelings as well.
"They reminded you of home, didn't they?" Pidge asked gently.
Lance's mouth twisted and he took a shaky breath. "I always think about home," he said, his voice tight. "Every day when I wake up and every night before I go to bed. But most of the time it's… tolerable. After all, I'm not alone; I've got you guys with me all the time. But being in a planet like that and hanging with kids who are so much like my own siblings… it just reminds me of how everything is so different in space. And – and I have no idea when things will go back to normal again."
Pidge hummed. "Honestly, I don't know if they can go back to normal at this point."
"Wow, Pidge, thanks, that really helped."
"No, that's not what I meant," Pidge shifted to sit in front of Lance, leaning on his knees until he had no choice but look her in the eyes. "Look, despite everything we'd all known in the past, this is our normal now. Being stuck in space and fighting an evil alien empire for the sake of the universe and all that. But… it's not all that bad, you know? I mean, if we hadn't been thrown into space, I would have never bothered to bond with you guys, and would have just kept trying to reach my family from Earth even though it was completely useless." She offered Lance a small smile. "Now I got a real chance to find them and a bunch of people to help me with this and lift me up whenever I get lost in the process. So, in a way, being here is probably the best thing that has happened to me lately."
She hoped this would bring back the smile to Lance's face, but he only glanced sideways. "Pidge, this is amazing and I'm happy for you, I truly am. But you have a real purpose in this whole war; I had no actual reason to leave my family on Earth. And I know we're saving a bunch of planets and all, but I can't help but feel like it's all pointless when I'm abandoning my own family and being a lousy son and brother in general."
Now Pidge was pissed off for real. "Lance, you are not a crappy brother," she said and grabbed the sides of his head, forcing him to look at her again. He tried to jerk back, eyes widening in surprise, but her grip was strong. "I can't believe you just said that. Do I have to remind you how many times you were there for me when I was about to fall apart? Or your annoying habit of becoming a human shield whenever there's a bomb going off? This is not the behavior of someone who abandons his family."
"Pidge -" Lance started, but Pidge glared at him and he fell silent.
"No. You're not going argue with me, because this is a fact. You're one of the kindest, most selfless people that I know, and your siblings are lucky to have you as a brother, and so do we." Her voice was choked now. "I've never told you this, but you… you remind me a lot of Matt. It's one of the things that make not knowing where he is a bit easier."
Lance leaned forward until his forehead was touching Pidge's. "Pidge, that… that is a huge compliment."
"Well, for all I know you love being praised, so shut up and take it." She felt his head shake with a snort of laughter, and her smile grew. "Anyway, here's what's going to happen: I'm going to find my family, and this war is going to be over, and then we'll all go back to Earth, and your family will be so, so proud of you for everything you did; and if they're not convinced, well, they're going to get one hell of a lecture from me."
Lance's laughed again, louder than before, and it warmed Pidge's heart. "You versus my parents and all of my siblings, wow, I'll definitely pay to see that."
"No need to, because I'm going to win."
"Of course you are." Lance detached his forehead from Pidge's and pulled her into a hug. "Thanks, Pidge. You really are a great sister. I… I love you."
"I love you too, Lance."
They stayed like this for a long time after that, watching the stars glowing and swirling above their heads, knowing they were lightyears away from home and at the same time feeling as if they've never left it.
10,000 words, dear god, my fics just keep getting longer don't they. X_X Anyway, please be kind and let me hear your opinion in the reviews! I'm curious to know what was your favorite part. I personally liked 4 the most (with the clothes), but the last part also made me feel all warm and fuzzy. Bleh, I'm such a fluff slut.
